I'll just add that I will be continuing to update my current story, 'A Subtle Change' even after the release of the 6th book and it will also become an AU, I hope people will continue to read it but I certainly intend to continue to write it. I'll update it within the next week as I have a chapter ready but I haven't time to post both this and a new chapter of that tonight. Reason being I have to go and ready to queue excitedly outside Ottakers to get my copy of The Half-Blood Prince!
Anyway, here's the story, I'd love it if you reviewed and fingers crossed for the Half Blood Prince being a lot better than Order of the Phoenix (sorry people wasn't a huge fan!).
Disclaimer: The plot's mine, the characters and setting belong to a woman with a lot more money than me!
'thoughts'
Emphasis"speech"
UnderstandingThe start of a new year, three weeks into the new term and Severus Snape was already wishing he could take early retirement. The students were exhibiting every imaginable reaction to the encroaching war from outright panic through fear, determination and apathy to triumphant pleasure and the Slytherins were displaying more of them than any other house. Severus prided himself on reading his students when no one else could and he could see what was happening to them all too well. Allegiances were forming and shifting, loyalties were being tested and family ties broken. He had a seventh year who had walked out on their parents because of their involvement with the Death Eaters and was now under the school's protection. He also had a couple of seventh years who had not returned and he alone knew why; and wished like hell that he didn't.
Of course that mostly faded in comparison with one student in particular. Draco Malfoy had troubled Severus from the moment he had first laid eyes on the child. Knowing his parents Severus had expected him to be trouble, though Draco had still managed to surprise him at almost every turn. The boy could swing from despicably cruel to oddly sentimental and on occasions deeply respectful.
Combined with the fact Harry Potter had been forcibly entered into his potions class, this was making his sixth year Slytherin/Gryffindor class unbearable. He had attended meetings with the Dark Lord that had caused him less concern.
Draco and Potter had stepped up hostilities to the point where no teacher wanted to deal with the two of them in a class together. As Severus glanced up at the two of them he could they were once again glaring at each other from across the classroom. The potions master sighed internally and turned his attention to Potter's potion, which was not at all the colour it should have been. Well that was hardly a big surprise.
Severus retreated into the storeroom at the back of the classroom, there was a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and he wanted to check what in his personal store of potions ingredients needed replenishing.
He could hear voices in the classroom as soon as he stepped into the storeroom but he decided to ignore them on the grounds that he couldn't trust himself not to forcibly shut the blasted students up in some inventively cruel and unusual way.
One comment in particular reached his ears though and had him striding out of the small room as fast as he could.
Harry Potter's voice carried clearly to him, filled with anger and mockery. "I've got as much right to be in this class as you have Malfoy! Though goodness knows you probably only got through your OWLs because your father threatened and bribed enough of the examiners. Oh no, hang on he'd find that rather difficult to do from prison wouldn't he?"
"Shut up, Potter." Draco's voice was dangerously quiet and disturbingly like Lucius'. It was this likeness to his father that stopped Severus in his tracks and made him really look at the boy.
Draco had inherited his father's height and, over the last year, had shot up to be one of the tallest members of his year group; his hair and face were a strange yet attractive blend of Lucius' colourings and Narcissa's sharply delicate features. His facial expressions were pure Lucius and he spoke with his hands in much the way Severus had seen Narcissa do. His eyes though resembled his parents in nothing more than their unusual silver/grey colour. They held a troubled anger and frustration that Severus had come to associate with being more purely Draco than anything else about him. It was his eyes that betrayed him for who he really was and, though Severus wasn't sure he knew that person, he knew that he was not a carbon copy of Lucius or of Narcissa and he also knew that the real Draco was as much of an unknown to everyone else around him as he was to his teacher and head of house. There was no one Severus could think of who could truly claim to know Draco Malfoy.
Whilst Severus was busy contemplating his student, Potter took the chance to make things worse. "What was it the Daily Prophet said about the Malfoy family? Oh yes, 'the only talent they possess is one for destruction, and often self-destruction as much as anything else'. Pretty accurate don't you think?"
It was clear that all of Draco's usual Slytherin cunning and instincts to keep himself out of any trouble he caused had been forgotten in his anger. "Why don't we find out how talented the Potter line is? How well can you brew a potion, Potter?" A slow smirk spread across his pale, pointed face and he flicked his wand suddenly, causing Potter's cauldron to tip and spill its contents down Potter's front, which caused the boy to yell in pain. It wasn't just that the liquid was hot, whatever Potter had brewed it was clearly not the healing potion it was meant to be, probably quite the reverse in fact.
Snape allowed himself a moment to regret several things; the first was allowing Minerva McGonagall to talk him into letting Potter into a NEWTs level potions class he had no business being within twenty miles of. The second was ever laying eyes on Lucius and Narcissa's increasingly troubling and troubled son and the third was that as a teacher and a responsible adult he wasn't allowed to laugh at Potter's suffering. This done, he moved quickly towards his least favourite student and vanished the potion that covered him. Burns were appearing on his skin and his robes were ruined. He was whimpering in pain, curled around his stomach and hands, which had been hit hardest. Hermione Granger was fussing madly, clearly the girl had no idea of what he'd been covered with and was at a loss as to how to help. Draco simply smirked more than ever, "Not so talented yourself, are you, Potter?"
Severus ignored this comment. "Potter, follow me. Miss Granger, help him up to the hospital wing. Draco, meet me outside the headmaster's office in ten minutes, the rest of you are dismissed," he barked out his orders and swept from the room.
XXXXXXX
Madame Pomfrey was able to heal Potter fairly quickly, she had contacted Dumbledore through the fireplace and he and McGonagall were apparently waiting in his office for Draco. Severus couldn't help but pity the boy, he had been sorely provoked but the potion Potter had ended up with had been a pretty nasty, rather acidic one and Madame Pomfrey had made it quite clear that they were lucky no lasting damage had been done.
Severus made his way to the headmaster's office, where Draco was waiting outside the gargoyle looking thoroughly unconcerned.
"Draco."
The boy nodded politely to him, "Professor."
Severus raised an eyebrow, "That wasn't your brightest idea, you do realise."
"Oh, I don't know, I thought it was pretty fun."
"Mr Potter didn't seem to agree."
"Can't think why."
"He will be fine as it happens but you could have seriously injured him."
"That was the idea."
"Malfoy!" Severus began to lose patience, "You are not helping yourself. I understand that you were provoked but your behaviour was unacceptable."
As usual when intimidated, Draco went on the offensive, "Didn't think you'd be defending Potter!"
"I am not defending him but your own position is fairly indefensible, Draco."
The Gargoyle leapt aside and a livid looking Professor McGonagall stepped out, glaring at Draco. "Professor Dumbledore is ready to see you now."
"Draco, you might want to act a little more apologetically than you have been," Severus suggested.
"Yes, Professor." Severus wasn't sure if this was said because the boy actually planned on being more apologetic or because he didn't want another lecture from his head of house on top of the one he was likely to get from the headmaster. That was of course counting on Dumbledore not simply expelling him this time.
XXXXXXX
Albus Dumbledore would have been the first one to tell Severus that his expelling Draco was not entirely out of the question. His behaviour so far that year had been terrible and almost every member of the teaching staff except, well actually probably even including, Severus had had enough of him. However, the headmaster sighed as he heard footsteps approaching his door, the boy was still young and sending him home permanently would do nothing to keep from Voldemort. The footsteps stopped momentarily outside his door and he waited to hear knocking.
Draco, clearly deciding that he didn't care much for that formality, simply walked in and let the door swing shut behind him sharply.
"Mr Malfoy, it is customary to knock you know."
"I know."
Dumbledore groaned internally, Draco was glaring at him and acting in a way which suggested he didn't think he had anything left to lose so he might as well blow off any veneer of civility he usually had whilst speaking to the headmaster. "Sit down, Draco."
The boy sat in the chair on the other side of the desk.
"Has Professor Snape told you Mr Potter is going to be alright?"
"Yes, don't know why he thought I'd care."
"Probably because if he wasn't alright there might be a need for the aurors to have a word with you."
Draco seemed to pale slightly, though it was hard to tell with his already colourless skin. Clearly though the mention of possible consequences of what he'd done had made him a little uncomfortable.
"You are very lucky he was not more seriously hurt," Dumbledore continued.
"He got what he deserved. He said…"
"He said what?" Dumbledore knew exactly what had been said, Severus had kept him talking through the fireplace trying to explain it all and defend his student. However Dumbledore had to admit most of what Harry had said had simply been the truth, very unpleasant truth from Draco's point of view but truth nonetheless.
"He was talking about my father, about what he did to him."
"Mr. Potter did not do anything to your father."
"I suppose you mean besides getting him sent to Azkaban!"
"Draco, your father has done some terrible things in his time."
The boy glared at him, a red flush adorning his pale cheeks, his hands curling into tight fists. It was clear the boy was dying to say something, to start yelling the place down but he was afraid, though he'd never admit it, of simply getting in more trouble than he was already in. "Can we leave my father out of this?" the boy practically growled out the words.
"I think your father plays a rather prominent part in all of this."
"What would you know!" the boy snapped suddenly.
"I know that you do not have to follow his path, the question is do you know that?"
"I am not following anybody's path!" Draco almost yelled in frustration.
"Good, you do not strike as the type of person to play follow the leader. I hope you will find your own path through what is to come." This last part was said in a sympathetic tone Draco had previously not heard from him but it only made him feel more angry. "You will serve detention with Professor Snape for the rest of this week and all of next week as a punishment, I am leaving you with your prefects badge but one more incident of this severity and I will revoke it. I will also be reconsidering your position as a student at this school. Do you understand?"
The boy nodded sullenly.
"Draco, I want to help you, a lot of people do. Please find someone you can talk to," Dumbledore said gently, realising that he would get no further with the boy and hoping Severus could.
Draco simply sneered at the headmaster and left the room, closing the door sharply behind him.
At the foot of the stairs Severus was stood waiting for him. He raised a questioning eyebrow.
"I've got detention with you this week and next week."
Severus internally scowled at the loss of his free time, if Dumbledore was suddenly so fond of detentions perhaps he should start conducting them. No, then the bloody Gryffindors would be queuing up for them. "Draco, if you need someone to talk to, about anything, I am always willing to listen and help if I can."
The arrogant young blond gave him a surprised look, Severus' concern had shown in his voice and Draco seemed warily pleased to hear it. "Thank you sir, I'll think about that."
Snape watched him leave before walking up the stairs and into Dumbledore's office. "Headmaster."
"Severus," the elderly man looked tired and clearly his conversation with Draco had not gone the way he had hoped it might, "We're losing him, Severus."
"I can see that."
"He respects you and I think you are the only teacher here who he holds in any kind of esteem, I hesitate to ask but is there any way you could talk to him."
"I seem to remember suggesting that myself upon the Dark Lord's return but you told me not to, I believe you said trying to help one person was not worth risking my position as a spy."
"I still think that but I had failed to take into account what a dangerous enemy Draco Malfoy could be. He is with Harry in so many classes and Harry responds to his provocation very easily, Draco might in fact lure Harry out of school for a duel or the like far easier than one of the Gryffindors might manage to were they to prove a threat. He is growing into an accomplished young wizard and that is worrying as well, the world does not need another Lucius Malfoy."
"No, I suppose not. I do not believe Draco is the threat you perceive him to be though. The Dark Lord does not have enough faith in him to give him anything to do, in fact he hardly notices he exists most of the time."
"Well let's not risk him noticing and deciding the boy could be useful. Will you try to reach him?"
"Of course I will, you know I don't want to see him heading down a path to self-destruction. However, I believe if I am the one to raise the subject he will not respond well."
"And I believe that given time he will come to you himself, Severus. I just hope you can make him listen."
"We have one advantage. The boy's arrogance may be irritating at times but the Malfoy holier than thou spirit has done him some good. He won't want to bow and scrape to anyone, no matter what they offer in return. With a little luck that may save him."
Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. "Well do your best, but I'm not holding out for miracles."
"Of course you're not, you gave up on him years ago, probably before he was even born. After all what child of Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black could ever have a hope of being seen as anything more than the next generation in a long line of malign, prejudiced killers?"
"Severus, I have not given up on him, if I had I would not simply have given him a detention for what happened before. Draco is not either of his parents and both of those family lines have turned out their better members. I know you think I have been unfair towards your house on occasions but this is not one of them. I am trying to help him but he doesn't seem to want to know."
"What do you expect? He may have more of his parents in him than you realise and that may not be such a bad thing, from what I know of Narcissa and certainly Lucius they are both very determined, very strong people and Draco's going to need all the strength he has if he's going walk away from all of this."
Severus inclined his head and left without another word. He was filled with anger towards the elderly man. Logically he knew that everything Dumbledore had said had been true, risking his position simply to help Draco wasn't worth it in the larger scheme of things but it was worth it to him. He had found himself developing a grudging liking and respect for the arrogant young man and he saw better than anyone the vulnerability that lay beneath his posturing. The idea of simply watching him head down a road that would eventually destroy him was one that had caused Severus no small amount of consternation over the past two years. Strangely that had been one of his first thoughts when the Dark Mark had begun to burn darker again against his flesh, now that the Dark Lord was back did Draco Malfoy have a future or was he doomed to repeat Severus' own mistakes?
XXXXXXX
Severus was forced to delegate Draco's detention that night to McGonagall, she was already taking a detention of her own and he had work to do. He also didn't want to see Draco until he had worked out a strategy for getting him to talk. He was very surprised therefore to answer the door to his private rooms late that night to find Draco stood outside, still in his school robes though minus school tie. In fact for Draco he looked almost scruffy as though his mind had been elsewhere than on the cleaning he had been supposed to be doing in the trophy room.
For Draco he also looked remarkably apologetic, "I'm sorry sir, I know it's late but you did say I could come by anytime if I wanted to talk."
"It's not too late." 'At least I hope not', Severus thought. "What's on your mind?"
Draco looked at the floor before beginning uncertainly, "I…well I suppose…" he sighed, "I'm sorry to have bothered you sir, it's nothing. I'm just going to go back to my dormitory." He turned to open the door.
"Draco!"
At the sound of his name the boy's hand was stilled in reaching to open the door.
"Sit down," Severus commanded.
"Really, sir…"
"Sit down!" Severus repeated the command at Draco's protest, this time in a tone that suggested Draco should not continue to object.
Draco did as he was told without question for a change, suggesting to Snape that the boy did want to talk he just didn't know where to start.
"Draco, whatever the problem is I would like to help and I can certainly listen which will save you bottling things up and then lashing out at Potter, amusing as that so often is."
Draco smirked, "Yeah, that's fun."
Seeing Draco was slightly more relaxed, Severus continued on the same topic, "Worth the detentions?"
"Depends what I'm doing in them?"
"I need some help brewing a particularly difficult potion, you'll be measuring ingredients and cleaning the cauldrons."
The boy nodded, "Worth the detentions. What are we brewing?"
"We aren't brewing anything," Severus corrected him, "I am brewing a wolfsbane potion."
"For Lupin?"
It had taken Draco mere moments to work it out and Severus was impressed. "Yes."
"Why? He doesn't work here anymore."
Severus was distinctly less impressed by that question. "Because he can't get it anywhere else and I'm not wild about the idea of him running around the countryside trying to eat people."
"Oh yeah, I didn't think about that."
"Then you severely lack foresight, what did you think he took the potion for?"
"Sorry sir, I wasn't thinking."
"Clearly, Draco. Now what did you want to talk about?"
The boy sighed, "My father, I suppose."
"You suppose?"
"What else is there to talk about?"
"Your father does not control every element of your life does he?"
"He seems to do so more effectively now he's in prison than he ever did when he was at home. Now he's gone I feel desperate to do what he would, make him proud." He looked up at his teacher imploringly, "Is that silly? He'll probably never even know."
Severus considered his answer carefully, "It's not silly but it's not terribly wise."
Draco frowned, "Why not?"
"Because you are not your father and simply doing what you think he would in every situation will not make you happy for precisely that reason, nor do I think your father would wish you to be a mindless automaton who merely does as he is told because he can't think for himself."
The boy shrugged apathetically, "Maybe you're right, I don't know. I thought he'd be out of Azkaban by now."
"I think a lot of people expected that." Severus certainly had.
"What if he never gets out?" Draco shook his head suddenly and continued angrily, "I just feel like maybe I blew the one chance I had to get to know my father. We weren't exactly always that close you see."
"Personally I think that was due to your father blowing the one chance he had to get to know his son." Severus had never understood the easy manner in which Lucius dismissed Draco.
"That's not true!" Draco responded instantly.
"Draco, how much time has your father set aside for you over the years? Think about it, it's not much, is it?"
"That's not fair, he's a very busy man!"
"Busy or not, don't you think you deserved more than ten minutes every now and again when he could be bothered?" Severus pressed.
Draco's eyes flashed with badly controlled anger, "That doesn't mean he deserved what happened to him!"
'No Draco, the fact he tortured and killed people means he deserved what happened to him.' Severus massaged his temples, he was getting too tired to deal with this but this was the first and only opportunity he was likely to get to knock some sense into the boy before it was far too late.
Draco's anger had died out, replaced by uncertainty. "I don't know what to do with myself at the moment," he said quietly.
"Well why don't you just do what you want to do?"
"I want someone to tell me what to do so I don't have to think about it! And at the same time I'm so sick of being told what to do! My mother's acting like nothing's changed and I haven't got a clue what she wants from me!"
"If she loves you then what she'll want is for you to do what makes you happy." Severus raised an eyebrow, "Why don't you try living your own life for a while instead of your father's?"
Draco scowled, "I'm not just living his life, there's more to me than the next generation of Lucius Malfoy you know!"
"I know." Over the years Severus had truly come to believe that.
Draco continued to scowl, "Well you're the only one."
"Give people a chance to get to know you and I'm sure they'll see something more to you than your father."
"Yeah right! The Gryffindors seem unable to tell the difference and I love my father but it's suffocating to be trapped in his identity all the time!"
"I imagine it must be. However the Gryffindors are incapable of grasping such abstract concepts as individualism, they like to put everyone in a box with a neat little label to tell them whose side they're on."
Draco snarled, "They'll all be sorry one day."
Severus raised an eyebrow, "Do you think so?"
Draco looked surprised. "Don't you?"
"Draco, over confidence never leads to anything good. Dictatorships fall eventually, it's in their nature."
Draco's eyebrows flew up in shock, "What!"
Severus was afraid for a moment that he'd said far too much. "Draco, what I meant was you might not want to count on them ever being sorry. The wizarding world will not give in to," he forced himself to say it, "Voldemort, without one hell of a fight."
Draco winced at the use of the name, just as Severus had intended him to. "Why did you flinch, Draco? Surely you have nothing to fear from him?"
"Of course not!" The boy answered quickly, too quickly.
"Then why flinch?" Severus pressed.
"He's a very powerful wizard," Draco attempted to sidestep the question.
"But he has no reason to harm you, does he?"
"He has no reason to leave my father in Azkaban but he still has!" Draco snapped before looking horrified at what he'd said. "I have to go," he jumped to his feet.
Severus knew that to let Draco leave now would be to admit defeat, to lose the boy he wanted so much to save and he wasn't ready to give up yet. "Draco, sit down!" he snapped out an order and the boy automatically obeyed.
Severus paused for a moment, knowing that whatever was said now needed to be done delicately. Draco was looking scared and, little as Severus liked that, it was for the moment keeping the boy under his control. "Draco, I am not angry with you for what you said," he said finally.
"Really?" Draco looked unsure.
"Of course not." Severus kept his tone and expression neutral, "Did you mean it?"
Draco gave him a calculating look, "I suppose I did."
"It bothers you."
"It bothers me to think of my father rotting away in that hell hole," this was said without anger but with a voice edged sharply with pain.
"And you think that because," he was not happy at having to say it again, "Voldemort didn't help your father he might harm you if you got in his way?"
"I don't know." Draco was glancing at the door and his mind was clearly withdrawing from the conversation he didn't want to have.
Severus tried to grab his attention again. "It's bothered you to see the Malfoy name dragged through the mud in the press hasn't it?"
"Yes." Draco brought his focus back to his head of house, "I haven't exactly enjoyed it, if one more Gryffindor quotes those articles I'm going to scream!"
"If they do it in front of me they'll have a years worth of detentions to contend with," Severus said simply, quite meaning it, "You are not responsible for your father's actions whether they approve of them or not."
"Do you approve of them?"
The boy was getting too good at turning the conversation, Severus found he had no answer so instead turned the issue back to Draco. "Why do you care what I think? Does your father require my approval, or is it that you don't approve and want someone to tell you you're right not to?" He kept his face emotionless, if he wasn't careful Draco would repeat all of this to his mother and Severus had no idea what kind of reaction evidence of his wavering loyalties would produce in Narcissa Malfoy, or who she might pass the information on to.
Draco looked dumbfounded, "Who am I to approve or disapprove of my father's actions? He's my father." The boy clearly meant it and Severus could have hung his head in despair at the boy's unfailing faith in Lucius.
'How do I get through to you Draco? Is there anything I can say, or is it already too late?' "You're almost an adult, Draco, it's time you started deciding things for yourself instead of accepting what you're told. If I told you there were only eleven uses for Dragon's blood would you believe me?"
"No, but that's because it's been proved otherwise."
'And your father being found guilty by a jury of his peers, that's not proof enough for you that you shouldn't keep walking in his footsteps?'
"You think that I don't think for myself!" Draco sounded offended.
"Sometimes I wonder."
Draco scowled again. "What's wrong with accepting what you're told?" he asked petulantly.
"Because people get things wrong and nobody knows everything, it's better to think these things through for yourself." Severus became aware that the conversation was getting a little confused. He decided to play for some time to think, "Can I get you some tea?"
"Ok."
Severus moved an empty teacup from where it rested on a paper on the table, a vague plan forming in his mind. Draco, as expected, idly picked up the newspaper. The front page showed a particularly unpleasant picture of a dead body, tortured by the Death Eaters. Draco dropped the paper as though it had burned him and his pale face gained a tinge of green.
Severus saw a window of opportunity and seized it. "Are you alright Draco? You look ill."
"I'm fine."
Severus set the tea down in front of him. "You don't like the photograph? I think it's quite a good one, the daily prophet photographers normally cut people's heads off or something," he laughed dryly, "A little bit late in this case though I suppose."
Draco looked horrified, "No, I don't like the photograph."
"What's the problem? It's just another worthless mudblood, one less for this world to worry about."
"I…that doesn't…" Draco trailed off.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend your sensibilities, I was merely trying to anticipate what you might say."
"You didn't mean that then?" there was a note of hopeful relief in the boy's voice.
"No, I don't like the photograph either."
The two exchanged a look, both knowing that this interview was either going to go Severus' way or in a way that would most likely get him killed.
"You don't think they deserved that, do you?" Draco asked quietly.
"What do you think?"
"That there's quite a lot you're not telling me. I may not know exactly what's going on but I could have sworn that you of all people would sanction it."
"Why me of all people?"
"I hear things," the boy's voice had turned cold and Severus felt a small rush of fear, he was forgetting that in reaching out to save this child he was dealing with someone who could get him killed simply by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.
"Really?" Severus affected disinterest.
"Really."
"Does it matter what I would or would not sanction? Can you not decide these issues for yourself?"
"I respect your opinion."
"You can respect people and their opinions without necessarily agreeing with them."
Draco fell quiet and simply looked at the potions master with undisguised curiosity. "I don't think I'll ever understand you," he said after a gap of several minutes."
"Understanding, Draco, is a quality few people truly have and even fewer manage to use, but I think you are one of the few who are capable of it. I find it deeply regrettable that you have not yet begun to do so."
Draco flushed slightly, "I'm trying!"
"Are you? Do you want to understand? It's not always a pleasant experience, it is a valuable one but while you lack understanding you do not have to use it. Once you look more closely at a situation you may have to re-evaluate everything you thought before."
"What's the point in thinking something without understanding why?"
"You mean why follow something blindly?"
"Yes, I…" the boy trailed off, "Yes, I suppose so," he finished less certainly.
"Things should be carefully considered before forming opinions and judgements and certainly before tying yourself to anything. Hence why you should work these things out for yourself without reference to what I, or your father, or anyone else thinks, it is what you think that is important."
"Even if I'm not sure what that is?"
"Especially then as that is when you are most likely to be led by someone else's wishes and ideals."
"I don't know what to think some days," Draco spoke quietly as though making some terrible confession, perhaps in some way he was. If he meant what Severus thought he did then he was admitting to a possible rejection of everything he had been raised to believe.
The boy's despairing expression and tight grip on the teacup caused a pang of sympathy in Severus as he remembered all too well how it felt to be in Draco's position of being forced to make life decisions far too early. "That's alright, we all go through periods of not knowing what to think. You just have to keep looking at things and come to the best decisions you can."
The boy looked up, a slightly guilty expression on his face, "I'm starting to think I couldn't care less about any of this." He sighed in anger and despair, "What does it matter? Why should I throw my life away for somebody else's cause when there are plenty of other idiots to do it?"
"Why indeed?" Severus responded pointedly.
Draco's voice became more insistent, "I don't want to risk my life for anything or anyone!"
"So don't risk it." Severus made a desperate bid to put a stop to any ideas that might endanger the boy more than he already was endangered simply by being who he was.
Draco frowned, "You mean sit it out? Wait and see who wins?"
"You're a child, no one would blame you."
Draco raised an eyebrow, "That's certainly a tempting solution. Nobody gets too mad at me; I don't have to do anything I don't want to. Sounds good. But wouldn't everyone think I was a coward?"
"Personally I'd think you were just being a fool if you did go and throw your life away. Unless of course you had your heart set on martyrdom?"
"Not really."
"Rushing in for a higher cause is hardly the Slytherin thing to do now is it?"
"It isn't about a cause though is it?" Draco said suddenly, "It's about power. Potter said the Dark Lord had a muggle father, is that true?"
"Yes."
"Doesn't that mean that he's just using this whole pureblood principle as a way to find people to help him get power while not getting much themselves? I'm just not sure I can see the advantage in this anymore."
Part of Severus cried out relief while the rest acknowledged that this was still only a beginning. "Draco you have two more years in which nothing is expected of you except to pass your exams, at the end of that you may be forced to stop sitting on the fence but not until then. You have time. Use it."
"That's your advice?"
"Yes. Think long and hard before committing to anything and for God's sake don't do it yet. I will always be here if you want anything," Severus smirked suddenly, "Even if you just feel like a cup of tea and chance to complain about Potter to a sympathetic ear."
Draco grinned, looking more like a normal teenager than was usual for him. "Thanks, sir."
"It's my pleasure, Draco. I have seen things you cannot imagine and I am in no hurry to wish them on you. Bottling things up inside you and making rash decisions as a result is however the best route to finding yourself in the right situation to experience those things."
The boy nodded seriously, "I think I understand."
"I think you are beginning to," Severus agreed.
"I suppose I should go to bed."
"That would be a good idea given the hour and the fact that I will not excuse you being late to your classes tomorrow. Besides, we have two weeks worth of detentions in which to talk."
The boy stood up, nodded politely, gave a small smile and headed for the door. As he swung it open and walked slowly through it he said, without looking back, "Thank you."
"Anytime." Severus responded as the door closed quietly.
Once left alone the man found himself letting out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. The conversation it seemed had not been the disaster it might have been and had in fact gone rather well. He knew the boy well enough to know that his words had been genuine and that the things said had indeed had the desired impact.
There was still some way to go, possibly all Severus had managed to do was to buy himself and Draco two more years until the boy left Hogwarts but even that length of time was better than nothing and could well prove to be enough. If prophecies were to be believed then Potter's child might well bring this conflict to an end before then and if not…
If not, Severus still wasn't giving in, if he had to risk everything he had left it suddenly seemed worth it. He would not allow Draco to repeat his mistakes and he would certainly not allow the boy to throw his life away if he could help it. Innocence suffered too often.
XXXXXXX
The next morning was much like the previous one, students noisily beginning their day and irritating Severus no end as usual. The Slytherins moving through the school as they had the previous day, except for one. Draco Malfoy was looking different, Severus couldn't put a finger on it but there was something in the boy' air as though greater confidence, but confidence tempered by apprehension, had found him.
As he approached the staff room at the end of the day he found someone walking beside him. "Good evening, Severus."
"Good evening," he nodded to Professor McGonagall.
"Severus, could you step into my office for a moment I wanted to speak with you."
"Of course." He followed her, expecting a lecture regarding one of his students and their latest illicit activities. In this respect though he was to be disappointed.
Once in her office with the door closed behind them, McGonagall gestured him into a seat before sitting down herself and frowning. "Severus, is Mr Malfoy alright, he was suspiciously quiet in his detention last night. I was thinking you should have a word with him."
"I already have, he came to me himself last night."
"Oh?"
"Yes, he wanted to talk. Current events have got his head whirling by the sound of things but he seemed ready to listen to reason."
"Do you mean…?"
"Maybe. I don't know yet, too early to tell but it may turn out that we have less to worry about from Draco Malfoy than we thought we did. He may even make this school proud to have educated him one day. In a funny way I think Lucius might have been quite proud of his son last night. If circumstances were a little more favourable that is, he'd never have wanted Draco to be someone who just did as he was told without question."
"Yes I'd noticed that somebody certainly seemed to have instilled in Draco a tendency to question anything he's asked to do," McGonagall responded dryly.
Severus glared.
"Alright, Severus, don't look at me like that. I know this means a lot to you and frankly I agree, I do not want to see that boy turn into his father. Or, much as I like and respect the person you've become, into you, which I find more likely."
"His situation reminds me of mine but with the right guidance I do believe he has the intelligence to prevent him from repeating my mistakes."
The woman smiled, "With your guidance I feel sure he will, and I never thought I'd say that of anyone with regards to Draco Malfoy but you reach him in a way nobody else does. Well done, Severus. I always think being head of Slytherin must be harder than being head of Gryffindor if only because your students are so closed to the world but you have the unique ability to make them open up and I do believe that under your guidance it will be more than just Mr Malfoy who is stopped from making a terrible mistake."
He raised an eyebrow, "We will see, my house is pulling apart at the moment and we shall simply have to wait and see what form it comes back together in. They are testing each other, forming the allegiances that will change their lives and some of them will make the wrong ones and we will likely watch them suffer and die as a result. I just will not watch Draco do that. I saw his parents suffer too much to not want to break the chain of hate and pain his family seem bound to."
"I don't know that much about his parents," McGonagall admitted.
"I know enough to know that they are not quite as the world considers them, at least they weren't always."
"Everyone's innocent once."
"Yes."
"Have you spoken to Albus yet?"
"Not yet, I will this evening."
"I think he'll be pleased with what you have to say."
"Probably, though he has bigger issues in hand than the fate of one student."
"That does not mean he doesn't care," McGonagall admonished him gently, "You know he cares for every student in this school, no matter who they are or how much trouble they've caused."
Severus nodded, "Yes, has he always been so irritatingly concerned for everyone?"
"Severus!" McGonagall shook her head in amused disapproval.
The man smiled, "I should let you get back to your work."
"You've done annoying me for now?" she smiled.
"For now. Just wait until Mr Potter next does something ridiculous, I'll be back."
"Oh, I'm sure you will."
Severus left with a polite nod of acknowledgement and closed the door quietly behind him. He had meant what he had said to his colleague, Draco Malfoy was not going to suffer pointlessly if he could prevent it and he had the distinct feeling that he might be able to. Suddenly, the dreadful start to the school year seemed fractionally better.
XXXXXXX
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