The Great Escape by Cleo the Muse
Rating: G
Genre: General, Humor
Warnings: None, save my pathetic attempt at humor
Episodes: Set anytime, seasons 1-5... Spoiler-free (though it does briefly mention Mary Steenburgen).
Synopsis: SG-1 has been captured by alien mind-readers. How ever will they escape?
Status: Completed as of October 17, 2004
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate... it owns me (eg).
The Great Escape
"It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well."
-- René Descartes, Discourse on Method
"Garin!"
The thin aide looked up from his terminal as the stout administrator strode through the double doors leading into the central offices of the Hinarin Intelligence Agency. "Yes, sir?"
Administrator Eleb crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby pillar. "Where is Liun? He was supposed to be monitoring the woman."
"He passed through here earlier, sir, and left a letter on my desk addressed to you," Garin explained, gesturing to the note. When he'd last seen the telepath in question, the Hinarin had seemed very agitated. The aide had a feeling he knew the reason why.
"Open it," Eleb sighed.
Garin cleared his throat, opening the folded paper. "'To Administrator Eleb: I regret to inform you that I must resign my post as Reader. Though my tenure here has been--'"
"Skip the pleasantries, Garin. I have a feeling I know why he quit, but read it to me anyway."
"Yes, sir. 'This resignation also serves as my final report on Subject 9942-285-B. The rather attractive female subject's mind was full of incomprehensible information, much of which were letters and numbers. "SG-1', 'SGC", "GDO", "DHD", "IDC", "MRE", "USAF", "SOP"--some of which were also reported by my colleague, Chiel--were merely at the forefront, and many, many more followed. Beyond those simple letters were far more confusing concepts, some of which I recognize from the mathematics and science courses required during my studies. The farther I went, the more difficult it became to follow--'"
Eleb snorted. "It is as I suspected."
"Sir--if it's not too forward of me to say--perhaps we should send test group 9942-285 back to the Chaapa'ai?" Garin suggested.
"Stargate."
"Sir?"
"That's what Chiel reported her subject called the Chaapa'ai."
"Ah," said Garin. "With respect, sir, Meris quit because he couldn't comprehend the two seperate minds contained within the dark-skinned one, subject C. Chiel's letter stated her inability to cope with the--and I quote--'twenty-some-odd languages' that occupied subject A's mind. Now Liun..."
Eleb nodded. "Now Liun, indeed. Very well, Garin, it seems test group 9942-285 is far too dangerous to keep in custody much longer. Put the transport crew on standby, and as soon as Lor comes out of his--"
The administrator was interrupted by the banging of the double doors as a harried Lor raced into the room. "Administrator Eleb, I quit!"
"How many minds?" asked Garin, barely concealing a smile.
"One."
"How many languages?" questioned Eleb.
"One!" Lor cried, his skin flushed blue with intensity. "But honestly, sir! 'Hockey?' 'D'oh?' 'Mary Steenburgen?' What in the world does any of that mean, for cryin' out loud?"
Garin immediately called for the transport crew.
Feedback is greatly appreciated