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It returns…

The Dog

Part Three

'Mr Potter, stay after class please.'

James sighed dramatically at the transfiguration professor's words as his friends packed up their things and left the classroom. He stuffed his textbook, quill and parchment in his bag as slowly as he could manage without invoking McGonagall's wrath and swaggered up to her desk at the front of the room, grinning widely. This would be fun.

'Mr Potter,' McGonagall looked down her nose sternly at James.

The grin obediently exited James face. 'Yes Professor?'

'Professor Dingle informs me that he caught you in the corridors, after hours, walking a dog.'

'Yes professor.' James concentrated on pulling his face into a contrite expression.

'I'm not even going to ask what you were doing outside Gryffindor Tower after hours,' McGonagall sighed.

'Very wise, professor.'

Professor McGonagall raised a weary eyebrow. 'Why do you say that?'

'Well, professor, I feel that that topic has been drawn, quartered, buried, exhumed, cremated, and scattered on any number of previous occasions,' James replied seriously. 'I suspect it's beginning to become quite boring for both parties involved.'

McGonagall blinked. 'Bear in mind, Mr Potter, that I do not need to hear any excuses in order to give you a detention.'

James lowered his eyes and mumbled an indistinct apology.

'I do feel obliged though, to ask about the dog.'

James looked directly at McGonagall. 'Professor?'

'The dog, Potter,' she repeated. 'The dog that you were walking last night.'

'We named him Snuffles, professor,' James supplied. 'And he's doing much better now.'

'Better than what?'

James frowned. 'Better than before.'

'Before what, Potter?' McGonagall demanded.

'Don't you remember, Professor McGonagall?' James asked with just a hint of disbelief. Not too much of course. He knew well that you couldn't take these things too far and still be believable.

McGonagall crossed her arms and tapped her foot, waiting for an explanation.

James sighed. 'Sirius and I found him in Hogsmeade a couple of weeks ago. He looked awfully sick and we were really worried about him so we brought him back to Hogwarts so that we could look after him. You said it'd be alright for him to stay in Gryffindor Tower.'

Not a complete lie, James assessed mentally as McGonagall took in his story. Sirius had found his animagus form during their last trip to Hogsmeade, and he'd been pretty sick afterwards. Remus had insisted they go straight back to Hogwarts to make sure he was alright. And McGonagall, as Sirius' head of house, had sent him back to Gryffindor Tower on any number of occasions, implying that it was acceptable for him to stay there.

'Now tell me why I don't believe you,' McGonagall said sceptically.

'Honestly professor?' James asked lightly.

'Yes, Mr Potter, honestly.'

James frowned, feigning deep thought. Finally, he threw his arms up in the air and sighed loudly. 'I don't know. Personally, I think it's a crime to forget Snuffles. He really is unforgettable.'

McGonagall managed to refrain from rolling her eyes as she dismissed the young Gryffindor, unwilling to chase the topic any further for the sake of her own sanity. Boys will be boys, she thought.

Outside the transfiguration room, Remus, Sirius and Peter were waiting for James.

'Well?' Sirius demanded immediately.

James smirked. 'I'm not sure if she bought it, but I didn't get any detentions.'

Sirius found himself at a loss for words for a moment. 'But you were out after hours!'

'So were you!' James shot back.

'She doesn't know that.'

James shrugged noncommittally and started walking back towards Gryffindor Tower.

'So how'd you do it?' Remus asked, jogging to catch up.

'Ah, Remus, I see it's time for another lesson from the James Potter School of Life,' James said dramatically, swinging an arm around Remus' shoulder. 'The trick is to be flattering, but insolent. Sincere, but insincere. Mix just enough fact with fantasy and always keep her wondering what the hell you're talking about.'

Author's Note

Yeah, not exactly the ending I'd planned. Thanks again for the most excellent reviews. :grins: You guys rock!

On Spoons:

Someone (sorry, I can't get your name as I'm typing on a computer that's not connected to the internet) asked about the references to spoons? That's not completely random. Well, yeah ok, it is. But it's not really. sighs I'm butchering the topic already. Spoon is actually my insult. I remember reading somewhere about a character that could make anything into an insult. Just by saying everyday words that usually couldn't possibly be taken to be offensive in a certain tone of voice, this character could make them into the most lethal weapons of insult imaginable. So I thought, well here's an idea. How to insult my least favourite teachers right to their faces and get away with it! Not that I would ever do such a thing, of course… :sniggers: So I started calling people 'Spoon' when I was pissed off at them, then it turned into a curse-word, then an all-purpose word to be used to fill in those uncomfortable silences that occur in most conversations. Then I started writing fanfic, and Sirius' character just seemed to be random, logical, and devious enough to warrant his inheritance of My Word. And so the Spoon was born. (Note, I'm now really getting stuck into the whole word-that-is-Spoon topic and am likely to post a rant about Spoons at my livejournal. So, for additional notes On Spoons, see my livejournal in a couple of days. Username: Sploogal.)