Disclaimer: Haha. Sure. Of course I own Harry Potter. You lawyer guys are so funny.

This short (emphasis on short) piece came to me one night when I was having a small fit of insanity. Just a bit of marauder fun. I'm not intending it to be longer than three chapters. For an explanation of the not-posting-for-ages thing, see the author's note at the bottom.

The Dog

Part One

'Did you hear that?' Sirius hissed.

James stopped walking, consequently causing Sirius to bump into him.

'Ouch! Watch it, Snuffles,' James yelped.

'Don't call me Snuffles, Bambi!'

'Shh, Dingle's just around the corner,' James whispered, jabbing the map with his wand.

Sirius snatched the map, folded it up and put it in his mouth, then changed into his dog form just as the professor came round the corner.

'You bloody coward,' James muttered, squinting as Professor Dingle's wand light flashed in his eyes.

'Potter!' Dingle snapped. 'What are you doing out of Gryffindor Tower at this time of night?'

'Just walking the dog, sir,' James replied smoothly as he motioned towards Sirius.

'Who's dog?' Dingle demanded.

James raised an eyebrow. 'The dog, sir.'

Sirius sat down and whined.

'The dog, Potter?' Dingle repeated in a warning tone that was completely wasted on its target.

Sirius bared his teeth at the professor and growled.

'Stop it you mangy mongrel,' James snapped at Sirius. He turned back to Dingle. 'Yes, the dog. Snuffles -' Sirius snorted at this point and made a point of drooling on James' shoe '- is a special dog. We found him wandering around Hogsmeade a while ago, really sick, coughing up furballs and everything -'

'Furballs?' Dingle repeated slowly. 'I thought that was a cat thing.'

'Oh no, sir. Hairballs are a cat thing. Dogs cough up fur. You know, it's like cats have cat hair, but dogs have dog fur. Anyway, his fur was all hanging off of him and he was so thin with sunken eyes and -'

'Alright, I get the point,' Dingle interrupted. 'Does Professor McGonagall know about this, erm, animal?'

Sirius whined and pawed at the ground. He shot James a look begging him not to take this any further which, of course, James feigned ignorance to.

'Of course, Professor.'

Sirius collapsed to the ground with a huff and promptly began chewing James' shoelaces.

James continued. 'It was her idea to keep him. He guards the tower now.'

Sirius flashed his rather large teeth at Dingle before returning to the perilous task of ridding the world of James' shoelaces.

'He protects us Gryffindors from the threat that Slytherin poses to us.'

Sirius stood up, baring his teeth and growling deeply at the Slytherin professor. Dingle gulped audibly and the large, black dog advanced towards him, the fur on his back and neck standing on end.

'Right then,' Dingle said with a second gulp. 'I'll just leave you to it. Good evening Mr Potter.'

'Evening, professor.'

James waited until the sound of the professor's footsteps had faded into the distance before turning to Sirius.

'All right Snuffles, cough it up,' James demanded, holding out a hand.

Sirius whined but obediently complied. There was a hacking cough followed by a wet 'plop' as the soggy map hit the ground.

James grimaced. 'We really need to research that spit repelling charm. This is disgusting.'

Sirius bared his teeth in what could only be described as a dog's version of a smirk.

'Bloody mongrel,' James muttered as he pick up the map, shook off the excess dog slobber and opened it.

After a moment's examination of the sopping parchment, he declared the coast to be clear. With a 'pop', Sirius changed to face James in his human form.

'You just had to do it, didn't you?' Sirius sighed.

'What?'

'You had to bring McGonagall into this. Again.'

James flashed his friend a devious and somewhat foreboding grin. 'Of course. She is my favourite teacher after all.'

Author's Note

Yes, it's been AGES since I've posted anything, I know. Believe it or not, I'm still overcoming computer problems that exist in the form of my-mum-confiscated-the-internet. breathes deeply Be assured, I am still writing. It's just a little difficult to post at the moment. Updates for 'Exposure' and 'Falling Stars' are underway. I will try to post again soon. Let me know if you like this, eh? Or even if you're still out there, reading my stuff. Please? Feed my ego?