Black Friday

Sometime after beginning to rebuild the house, Rodger and Oliver near the completion of

Duck taping the house back together. The house somewhat resembles its former glory;

the only major problem is that it now leans at a 35 degree angle and sways a bit when

Small breezes blow by. Stinky sits by a tree eating a sandwich "coaching" their project.

"Yeah…It looks great guys", Stinky leans over to the side and lets out a huge fart.

"SHUT UP YOU MORON"! Oliver flips off Stinky and hoists the front door into

its place.

Rodger grabs a staple gun and turns to Oliver. "Ok buddy hold it still-NEE

DEEP"! He places the stapler to the desired spot and hits it with a stern slam. "Its

FINALLY FINISHED"!!! Just as Rodger exclaims this fact out loud to himself the

portion of the roof over his bedroom caves in. –"DANG YOU CURSED TOOLS OF

OFFICE MAX"!

"You loser". Oliver shakes his head. He then turns to Stinky and yells "HEY LAZY ASS! GET UP HERE AND RE-DO THE ROOF!! …LAZY ASS"!

"Alright, alright fine". He gets up and climbs on top of the roof, repairing it with Saran wrap instead. It actually, surprisingly works better than the duck tape.

"Um its kind of leaning…" Whisp tilts his head to the side. Oliver angrily kicks the house and it moves perfectly into place. "….For some reason, this reminds me of where I used to live…."

Flashback

Luigi walks around inside of a gigantic mansion, while wearing the poltergeist 3000, humming to the background music. "hee-ha-ha-ha-ho-hee-ha-hee-hum…. Hee-ha-ha-ha-ho-hee-oh-hee-hum…" Suddenly Whisp pops out of nowhere "HOW-DEE-DOO-DEE"!?

"WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

back to 'reality'

Whisp shivers…

"Man there's nothing to do in this stupid town…" Oliver sighs and crosses his arms.

"Sure there is buddy! Have you ever screwed around with the town bulletin board?" Stinky jumped off the roof.

"…No"

"Alright lets go then!" Stinky Rodger and Oliver head down the road to the Town Hall.

"Alright, now what do we do?" Oliver asked.

"We mess with people. Stinky, go get my cat box and bury it near Tom Nooks!" Rodger grabbed a marker and began to write as Stinky ran off.

Note on Board:

Hey everyone! I buried something really special near Tom Nooks place! Hurry before it's gone!

"…Whats so funny about that? THAT'S SICK"!!

"Eloise is the only one who looks for stuff because she can't afford to buy anything. I think of it as funny, she thinks it's a gold mine"!

"Oh ok, here give me that marker." Oliver takes the marker and writes:

HEY IDIOTS!! I THREW A CHOCOLATE BAR INTO THE OCEAN! HURRY BEFORE THE SHARKS GET IT!!

Oliver laughed and made a not to self to dump a bunch of chum into the ocean by the end of the day.

"Wait a minute, whats this?" Rodger reads a note. "HEY YA CHEAPSKATES! Black Friday is tonight, be sure to get in line early for the incredibly low prices and deals we have… These deals are so HUGE they make Wendell look like he's on a diet!!" Rodger turned to Oliver and asked, "Hey Oliver, you gonna wait in line at 12 until 5 a.m. to get great deals on Christmas presents? I know you didn't get anything for your girlfriend…"

"Yeah I should, shouldn't I? I wonder what I should get her…. Oh I know! A collar!"

"What? Is she your pet?"

"…shut up… it'll look nice! Besides I don't want the pound to pick her up." He stuck out his tongue.

"Alright well dress warm because its going to be freezing."

"I WANNA COME TOO!!" Stinky screamed.

"Yeah! We'll all go." Rodger smiled, he looked over to his left and saw people already setting up camp in front of Tom Nooks. "Whoa! Looks like we should get in line soon, I can tell this day is going to be a crazy one. You know what, you guys go set up a tent and ill go get some tasks done." Rodger took off leaving the real work up to Stinky and Oliver. Oliver didn't mind so he and Stinky walked over in line and sat on the ground.

"What time is it?" Stinky asked.

Oliver looked at his watch and sighed, "Its only 1 p.m. what a way to spend Thanks Giving…"

"Were'nt you supposed to spend it with Kitty?"

"…oh crap-GOTTARUNSORRYSTINKYBUTIHAVETOGOSEEKITTYBYE" Oliver zoomed down the road to Kitty's house. He knocked on her door nervously.

Kitty opened the door and gave Oliver a hug. "Hi Oliver! Glad you came, come on in!"

"Heh, so what's cookin…?"

"Well lets see, I have meow mix casserole, hamster hash, rat pudding, perch pie, birdy beak bread…" Oliver spaces out while forcing a smile at all the disgusting things she had for them to eat. He glances next door and sees the pizza man delivering four boxes of pizzas to Eloise's. Eloise grabs the pizza man and swallows him whole, belches loudly, and then picks up the pizza boxes. "MOM THE APPETIZER HAS ARRIVED!!" she yelled while slamming the door. Oliver thought about calling 911 but Booker was killed by Resetti and Copper is too busy attending 'a spay and neuter your house plants awareness meeting'.

"…and milk to drink!"

"…joy… Is there Turkey?"

"…No Oliver, I told you, we're having Blue Jay instead since I couldn't find any wild turkeys around here."

"Oh… blue jay… exciting…" Oliver sat down at the table and slammed his head against it. The smell of all those cooked things made his stomach hurt. Kitty lifted his head off the table. "Don't do that." She gave him his food and sat across from him. Oliver looked at his plate and pushed it away an inch. He looked to his left and in a wine glass was a can of Fancy Feast. Oliver grabbed it and poked at it with his fork. The glass starts to ring and Kitty's ears perk.

"…hmm?"

"Don't ring the glass, it means dinner is ready."

"…but dinner is ready."

"DON'T RING IT DAMN IT"

"…ok…" Oliver looks out the window and sees Stinky rubbing his face against the glass.

"DINNERS READY!?" Stinky shouts. Oliver puts his finger to his lips, telling Stinky to be quiet. "…Kitty can you please get me some more blue jay?"

"Sure!" She happily skips away to the kitchen. Oliver races to the window and lets Stinky in, he shoves him under the table and sits back down. Kitty returns with more blue jay and puts it on Oliver's plate. She sits back down and continues to eat.

"So I bought some skim milk, candles and cat nip for a romantic evening together tonight Oliver…"

"Uh huh…" Oliver, not paying attention to her words, shoves the hamster hash down Stinky's throat.

"CKKCKKC…MMM!! This is good stuff Oliver!"

Kitty stares at Oliver and Oliver has shifty eyes. "sorry I…. talk to myself sometimes when… its… EXTRA DELICIOUS!!!" Oliver cracked a smile.

"…Anyways. I want tonight to be extra special…"

"Sure ok" Oliver continues to shove food into Stinky's mouth while Kitty isn't looking. Stinky whispers "Wait Oliver, I cant eat perch, it gives me gas…" Oliver shoved the fish into Stinky's mouth anyways.

"I got some romantic music too, we can dance together." Kitty holds up kitty dumpster moonlight music.

"Hey yeah you're right…" Oliver says just before Stinky farts loudly. Kitty's eyes go wide and stares at Oliver horrified.

"….umm… Sorry but Bird gives me gas…"

"Aww… you ate it anyways for me didn't you?

"Yeah… too bad I'm REALLY FULL now…"

"You are? Aww well I guess ill just throw away the chocolate cake, pecan pie, and ice cream I was saving for you." She picks up the desserts over hidden in the corner and shoves them down the garbage shoot.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Oliver dies inside a little. Kitty walks to him "Lets go have that romantic evening…"

"…What? What romantic evening?"

"….the one I was just talking about…"

Oliver has shifty eyes "…..oh-OHHHHH I thought you were… uhh referring to something else!"

"No, now lets go."

"Wait wait… I have to go get in line at Tom Nooks to get you a present."

"It can wait."

"No it cant! Black Friday starts at 6 a.m. and I have to get in a huge line! …Just for you!" Oliver got up and backed to the door.

"But-"

"-AND IM GONNA WAIT FOR HOURS… CAUSE THE PRESENT I WANNA GET YOU IS REALLY POPULAR… AND I HAVE TO STAND IN THE FREEZING COLD…"

"Well when you put it that way-"

"GOOD! BYE!" He kisses her and dashes out the door, Stinky follows close behind with a bowl of Fancy Feast. They both run to Tom Nooks and see that the line stretches all the way around the building. Oliver curses to himself and gets to the back of the line. "Way to go ya moron!" He slaps Stinky on the back of the head. "You lost our place in line."

"Its not my fault I heard dinner calling."

Oliver sighs and begins to shiver, Rodger walks up to them. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!? WHY ARE WE BACK HERE!?"

Oliver points to Stinky, Rodger slaps Stinky on the back of the head. They hear a bicycle horn honk and turn around. Eloise rides up on a bicycle towing a hot dog stand behind her.

"Oh god" Oliver angrily said. Eloise began to set up the hot dog stand. Oliver turned to her and watched. "Hey! Good idea Eloise! Sell food to people in line!"

"Are you kidding? This is a snack!" She placed a dozen hot dogs onto the grill. Oliver turns away still shivering from the cold, "Whatever, chow down chubby."

Oliver's stomach growled. "I'm hungry guys…"

"I wish we had popcorn…" Stinky sighed.

"Yeah and chips!" Rodger said happily.

Oliver quoted a very famous T.V. show "…and fried oyster skins!"

Eloise's body fat rippled with rage. "THERES NO SUCH THING AS FRIED OYSTER SKINS!!"

All three of them stare at her like she's a disgusting moron, and not because she just ate three lbs of hot dogs.

Eloise squirts some mayonnaise into her mouth and takes a bite of hot dog. "I'm sorry, I'm taking a course at the Doodaloo J.C. to become a chief so I know everything about food. I'm quite an expert."

Rodger disgustedly looks at her, "we can tell"!

Eloise smartly looks at them. "Normal people annoy me who don't know as much things as I do about food".

Oliver wipes half a hot dog that flew out of her mouth off his cheek and gives her a sarcastic look. "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE WHEN I NEEDED YOU? OH MY GOD IT TAKES A GENIOUS LIKE YOU TO FIGURE SOMETHING AS COMPLICATED AT THAT OUT. HERE… HERES SPONGEBOBS NUMBER, CALL HIM LATER HE'D LIKE TO KNOW YOUR TAKE ON STEAMED CORAL." He turns away, zips up his jacket and puts on his hood. "…asshole."

"Jeeze Oliver…" Rodger looks back at Eloise; she continues to stuff her face as if she heard nothing that Oliver yelled at her.

"I can't believe were gonna be stuck next to this moron all night."

A Surprise guest turns around, it's Jerry Seinfeld. "And you're never gonna believe this! I'm standing in line for good prices on skittles!! They're half off!! I can buy two for onnnneee!! Somebody stole my chicken tenderrrrsss!! MY POULTRYYYYY… MY TENDERRRRSS!!!"

"LORD…. HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL" Oliver screamed.

As everyone is continuously bumping into each other, Oliver eye catches contact to Lyle the con-artist. Lyle stares hungrily at Oliver's fat wallet. He shuffles his way to Oliver and holds up his briefcase.

"How you doin friend?"

"Don't... touch me."

"Oh I get it, you wanna be mean to me huh? YOURE BUSTIN MY CHOPS KID!! Ehem, anyways, right when I looked at you I could tell you were smarter than the others. I'm here to sell you something that will change your life."

"beat it gramps"

"….YOURE BUSTIN MY CHOPS KID!! …ehem, now you have plans for the future? Right? Right everyone has them, got a girlfriend? Right, right sure you do. Gonna have kids? Right, right sure ya are. IF YOU HAVE ARMAGEDDON INSURANCE!!"

"….what?"

"Armageddon insurance kid, you gotta be prepared. What if it happens and BOOM! Ya need it?"

"Armageddon is the end of the world buddy, you don't need insurance for that."

"But what if its not, hmm?"

"Then I'm kick'n your ass! Now get lost."

"Listen, when you have a family, you have a lot of responsibilities. You're number one responsibility is to make sure your family is protected. What happens if it does happen, and you don't have a home to live in and you have to fight hobos for garbage cans?"

"Look, if you don't leave me alone, I'm gonna shove that briefcase right up your-"

"What that? Need ass insurance? What if it happens to you kid, then BOOM you need ass insurance."

"That's it give me that" Oliver grabs the briefcase and hits Lyle in the face, knocking him out. "Jeeze this case is heavy, what's it filled with?" He opens the case and its filled with big rocks. "….loser." He drops the case on Lyle's face. Lyle shakes and says "…bustin my chops… 3000 bells…"

"I cant stand these morons, what time is it?"

"…8:00" Stinky answered.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"Only 9 more hours to go!"

"GAHHHHHHH"

Jerry Seinfeld turns around "And you're not gonna believe this! I almost burnt down my apartment while making noodles. You cook the noodles in waterrrrrr. How is that possibllleee???"

Oliver glares at him, Jerry turns around. Oliver angrily stuffs his face in his own jacket and falls asleep while standing up. Random people walk by and write graffiti all over him. He wakes up several hours later finding out that the store opened while he was asleep.

"DAMN IT PEOPLE WHY COULDN'T YOU WAKE ME UP." He angrily shoves his way through the crowd of people, grabbing things out of their carts and kicking little kids over. He grabs a pink cat collar and throws all of the random crap he got onto the pile. The cashier begins to scan the items, she talks to him in a monotone voice. "Did you find everything you need sir? That'll be 30,000 bells please." Oliver shoves the money in her face, grabs the bag and knocks over a candy stand. "Have a nice day."

"ILL HAVE A NICE DAY ALRIGHT!!" Oliver screamed. Rodger runs up to Oliver and puts his paw on his shoulder. "Hey Oliver, I know you're mad for us leaving you behind, so I got you this hammer to vent your anger with."

"Thanks, jerk, now where's Stinky?"

"He's in the Polish Puppet Store over there."

"A Puppet store? I wanna go see." Oliver walks across the way and into the puppet store. There's a bunch of creative little puppets inside, Oliver cant help but pick them up.

"DON'T PLAY WITH THE PUPPETS!!!" the old man screamed.

"I'm not."

"PUT IT DOWN."

"I have money…"

"PUT DOWN THE PUPPET."

"Why?"

"DON'T PLAY WITH THE PUPPETS!!"

Oliver's face turns dark red from all the bottled up anger. "IM IN A FCKIN PUPPET STORE, WHAT ELSE AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THE PUPPETS!?"

"YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT KID!!"

"Oliver leans over the counter and snarls "…FIIIIIIINNNNNEEEE." Oliver sees an

antique, hand crafted old puppet on the table in front of him. He takes out his hammer, and smashes it to bits, then throws money in the old mans face, and walks out. "I BROKE IT, I BOUGHT IT." Oliver storms home to wrap up the random gifts, followed closely by Rodger and Stinky.