Angels of Armageddon Chapter 21: Hopes and Dreams Author: Ryan Xavier
In the dead of night, the world slept. The Japanese refugees, the American soliders and technicians, all rested. The Evas themselves, metal giants kneeling at the edges of the camp, waited, not for the sunrise, but for the next time humanity needed them, called for their protection.
Shinji also slept, atop a mildewed mattress on a rusty cot. The bare cement walls of the new American construction surrounded him, forming a small hospital room. The walls were lined with various pieces of monitoring equipment, which kept silent vigil over their patient.
Kaoru sat against one wall, in the shadows cast by the large machines. His crimson eyes rested on Shinji's still body.
He had been here for some time, watching the boy. He'd wanted to be here earlier, but he had needed to wait. Next to the bed, Asuka was slumped in a chair, her head lolling back as she managed a fitful, light sleep.
It had been two days since Shinji had literally come walking back to the camp, against all odds. Though he had yet to say anything of what he had seen and what he'd been through, his body told volumes: limbs shrunk by hunger and dehydration, raspy breathing of borderline pneumonia, and layered over it all, a whole new set of scars and bruises, inflicted on him by a hostile world, that had sought to erase him.
As if that had not been enough, he'd been shot, accidentally, almost as soon as he'd come back to the camp. His only stroke of luck in this whole incident was that the shot was not life-threatening. The bullet had only grazed his shoulder. He had lost some blood, and there would be a deep scar after all this, but the medical team here had been able to stop the bleeding before it became serious.
Shinji been escorted to the infirmary quickly, along with Rei, who was currently locked into a reinforced hospital room that would double as a holding cell once she woke up. The girl was injured as well, Kaoru knew that much. He only had to close his eyes and cast out his mind to look at her, to see the injury across her abdomen, which dripped a sticky fluid that was not blood.
No one was allowed into the room with Rei aside from Ritsuko and Maya. Kaoru did not like that Rei had returned only to become a prisoner again, but for now, it was for the best; he didn't know what people would think if it got out that Rei no longer had blood in her veins. He barely knew what he thought of the situation.
What have you done? he thought to himself. Are you really going to retreat back down the path that caused you so much pain? Have you rejected your humanity so much?
He shook his head. Rei would be all right, at least physically. From what he'd seen, she would soon be strong enough to regain consciousness. Shinji, on the other hand...
His injuries were not severe, but he hadn't woken up yet. The doctors said it was just exhaustion, but Kaoru knew it was more than that. Something had happened out there. Something that had nearly driven him mad. And now, he just didn't want to wake up.
Asuka had stayed with Shinji for the whole time, which made it difficult for Kaoru to visit. The girl had not spoken to him since the last Eva battle. Her eyes held no malice when she looked at him, but Kaoru could not meet her gaze. Even if Asuka didn't blame him for Shinji's current condition, he certainly did. He had been there, he had been in the other Eva. He should have kept Shinji safe. And yet once the battle was over, he'd been the one to walk away, while Shinji disappeared in a destructive blast over the horizon.
So, he waited, coming when Asuka slept. He had stood there for several nights now, next to Shinji, hoping his presence might be enough to bring the boy back.
There was another reason he'd come here tonight, though. As footsteps approached the room, Kaoru leaned back slowly, fading into the darkness of the wall. His eyes left the bed, looking to the door as it opened.
The light from the hallway silhoutted a feminine form. As Kaoru's eyes adjusted, he saw familiar, long white hair on the figure.
Ariel tiptoed into the room, quietly nudging the door closed behind her. She approached the bed, her eyes not on Shinji but on Asuka. Leaning over to look at the girl's face, she seemed almost relieved to see that Asuka was asleep. Quietly, she unfolded an extra blanket and draped it over her friend, doing her best not to disturb the girl.
Asuka shifted position under the blanket, trying to curl up but unable to do so in the chair. Ariel put on a sad smile, patting the other girl's head before slowly turning towards the door.
"Leaving so soon?" Kaoru whispered.
Ariel jumped in surprise, her back going ramrod-straight. Her fists clenched as she recognized the voice. Turning, she probed the shadows with her gaze, finally finding Kaoru. Slowly, she advanced on him.
"Hiding in the shadows? How very like you, Tabris," she whispered, her voice a hiss.
Kaoru shrugged. "I do not hide. You simply didn't see me." He glanced behind Ariel, to Asuka's form. "I'm quite glad you didn't, though. It is refreshing to see you learning kindness."
Ariel's eyes narrowed at him, looking at him suspiciously, waiting for some ulterior motive to show itself. "Yes..." she said, finally. "One must know who one's friends are."
"I can tell I do not fall into that category," Kaoru said. "It's actually quite encouraging that you would reject your own brother. At least I know who you identify with." He paused, grinning at her. "But I can't help but be saddened by it, as well. I suppose I'm just a little selfish."
"We all are," Ariel said, averting her eyes. From the tone of her voice, Kaoru couldn't tell if she'd meant to say that out loud.
Kaoru looked at Asuka again. "How is she?" he asked.
Ariel only gave him a passing glance, half-turning away to appear nonchalant. "She is coping," she said, confidently. "Asuka is a strong one. Not as strong as she might want you to think, but...getting him back has helped. She hasn't really accepted it yet, I think. Still waiting for this to be some sort of trick." She paused, thinking. "He really did mean something to her. She still cries sometimes, for no reason at all. When we're just talking together..." she said no more, trailing off.
Kaoru said nothing for a long moment. "She truly is your friend, if she let you see that. Asuka is not one to show weakness. If she's let you see her tears, then she trusts you completely." He looked thoughtful for a moment, then. "Though...I wonder for how much longer."
Ariel's eyes flickered towards him. "What do you mean by that?" When Kaoru's response was nothing more than a smile, her face clouded. "That is none of your business, Tabris." Still nothing from Kaoru. "Now is not the time for it. She is just barely holding herself together now. To tell her what I was...what I did to her, would destroy her. But one day, yes, I will tell her about...where I come from. And then I will just have to hope for the best."
"I wonder if you will really have a choice of when that day will come," Kaoru finally said. Ariel glared at him accusingly. "I will say nothing to her," he said, shaking his head at her. "But Asuka is a very smart girl. Even now, she has her suspicions. Your convenient mask is starting to show holes, Arael."
Ariel balled a fist again, but said nothing. As much as Kaoru's statements angered her, she could not contradict him. Frustrated, she turned on her heel, heading for the door.
"Wait."
Ariel stopped, looking over her shoulder at him as Kaoru stood and approached. "Why can't you just leave me be, Tabris?"
Kaoru shook his head again. "I was waiting for you to come tonight," he said. "I needed to ask you a favor."
Ariel looked at him incredulously. "What?"
"Shinji has closed his mind to the outside world. He needs help in order to return. I need someone of your unique talents to help him."
Ariel gave him a blank stare, then snorted, putting one hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh. "You..." she choked out, staring at him disdainfully, "you would ask me to help you? After you've made me watch you destroy my brethren? Knowing you will do it again? Knowing you were the one who helped Zero into this world again?" She chuckled, holding in another laugh.
Her laugh stopped short, however, cut off by a loud slap. Ariel's eyes went wide as her head jerked to the side, a stinging sensation on one cheek.
Kaoru held his hand, ready to hit her again. "You truly are selfish," he said, under his breath. "Here you can help Soryu, the one you call a friend. You can help her smile again, and you can only laugh in my face?"
Ariel's face went calm. She looked to Asuka, staring at the girl for a long time.
"Fine," she finally bit out. "I can try. But without an AT field, I will have difficulty achieving any sort of real results."
"You touched his mind before," Kaoru said, stepping aside to make room for her to approach the bed. "You should be able to do it again."
Ariel nodded. "I can try," she repeated. "But first..."
Kaoru saw it coming, and did nothing. Ariel's fist connected with his face, hard enough to send him stumbling into the wall. He winced, holding one hand to his face. He was going to have a black eye from that one. If he still healed like a human, anyway.
"If you ever strike me again, Tabris," Ariel began, "I. Will. Kill. You." Her eyes held no anger, simply a murderous determination that made Kaoru utterly certain that despite Arael's current form, some small part of her would be, now and forevermore, an Angel. And yet, he just nodded. He let her approach Shinji.
Ariel came up to the side of the bed opposite Asuka. Closing her eyes, she placed her hand on Shinji's forehead. She concentrated, trying to think, trying to remember how to do this. Only once had she touched a human's mind when she was in this shape. It had been during a rather stressful time; she'd been keeping Shinji from falling off a cliff. Now, with no such situation to act as a catalyst, she was bound, stuck in her body, unable to figure out how to reach out to another's mind.
"I can't - " she began.
Kaoru moved, putting his hand atop hers and pressing down, hard. "Yes, you can," he said, firmly. Ariel felt a familiar tingle across the back of her hand, and saw behind her eyelids the hexagonal glow of an AT field.
She gasped as she felt herself forced beyond the barrier of her soul, across the borderline, and into Shinji's mind. She was overcome with a sense of vertigo, so strong she thought she was going to throw up. Except she no longer knew where her stomach was. Suddenly disembodied, she felt weak, drained of all strength, but still somehow consious.
She remembered enough from her time as an Angel to know this was a less subtle entry than she would have liked; her way had been to slide past defenses, gliding along like water through cracks in a wall. Kaoru had no such finesse, and had shoved her through like a battering ram. That had been stupid; it could have hurt both her and Shinji. She doubted he cared much about her welfare, but Shinji, on the other hand...
Impatient, are we, Tabris? she thought to herself, not saying the question out loud. So long as she had come this far, there was no sense in turning back. Even if Kaoru had been in the mood to let her.
Ariel refocused herself, calling up her extensive knowledge of the human mind. The psyche was protected by an almost unlimited number of pleasant illusions: The thought that everything would turn out all right. The idea that love would last forever. Belief that other humans were trustworthy. Hope.
In addition to all that, there were always repressed memories, things the mind didn't want to think about, things it didn't want to admit had happened. Things that had been locked away, never to be seen again except in nightmares. All this served to cradle the mind protectively, layer after layer of armor against the horrible realities of life.
In her latter days, Ariel would have ripped away all this protection, baring the delicate human mind to the hard, cold truths it refused to see. She'd have exalted in watching the mind shrivel, collapse in on itself as it tried not to look, tried not to see existence for the useless, unforgiving stretch of time that it was.
Now, she was not so inclined. Her time as a human had changed her. Though she could feel the urge to attack still itching in the back of her mind, she refused to listen. Even if she wanted to strike, she no longer posessed the strength. She could only maneuver gently around the gauzelike illusions surrounding Shinji's mind, searching for something, some indication of what was happening to the boy.
After some minutes of searching, she found it, and looked, like putting her eye to a keyhole.
She could see him, curled up, his eyes closed. He was hiding. He didn't want to wake up; he was safer here, asleep, where the world couldn't touch him. Pitiful.
To bring him back, she would have to be gentle. Ariel cast out her consciousness, carefully sifting through Shinji's mind, looking for a sign of strength, looking for something she could use. Shinji felt the world was a sad, dangerous place. She would have to remind him - or trick him into thinking - that sometimes, it wasn't.
Feeling brave, she headed deep into his mind, sliding past the blocks he had put up to keep himself from remembering his past. Humans often had many strong memories as children; there would have to be something useful in there.
Yet as she looked, she started to empathize, a little, with the boy. His happy memories were few and far between. The sad ones glowed brightly before her incorporeal eyes. His mother's death, his father's indifference. Seeing his friends injured and killed, twice at his own hands. She couldn't resist feeling a little despair, at this. She knew it was not her own emotion; as she was looking, Shinji was entering her mind, leaving a mark of his own.
Pulling back, she touched his more recent memories, ones of what had happened after Third Impact. There was more of the same; sadness, fear, and hopelessness. But among it were faint glimmers of strength. Something had changed in the boy since Impact. It was subtle, but it was there. Some inner strength had awoken, and it kept him going, kept him waking up every day.
She stopped looking for happy memories and started searching for memories of that strength, for reasons he would have to open his eyes. Finding something she hoped would be strong enough, she reached for Shinji's inner consciousness, touching him, grasping him before he could pull away from the intruder he was only now feeling. Holding him firmly, she bound their minds together to the memory she'd found, forcing him to relive it.
It wasn't running away, he was telling himself. No, it was more of a...break. A chance to catch his breath. That was all.
Shinji was walking aimlessly through the streets of what had once been Tokyo-2. The buildings had somehow survived the blast of Third Impact, but only just barely. Now, they teetered on the edge of collapse, looking like a simple breeze would be enough to knock them over.
He didn't really like coming here; it was depressing to see the old world, how it was crumbling into dust before his very eyes. But it was quiet, and no one else was here. At the moment, that was what he wanted.
He and Asuka had had a fight. He could barely remember what it had been about anymore; as he recalled, they'd just been discussing how to divide up the last of the canned food. It wasn't just them anymore; lately, more people had started showing up from the sea of LCL. A few of them were people they knew; Misato was one of them. Already, the people were looking to him and Asuka for guidance; they were the ones who'd been here first, they were the ones who knew how to survive, and that made them natural candidates for leaders.
He and Asuka had started talking about it. He'd wondered who would be coming back, who would give up the paradisical dream of the LCL sea in exchange for the cold hard truth of the world. They both had friends they wanted to see again. Asuka had mentioned Kaji. How maybe he would find a way to return to life.
He shouldn't have said anything, but it had slipped out before he could stop himself. He'd said that Kaji was gone, that he'd been gone before Third Impact and so there was no way he was coming back. It sounded a little familiar to be telling her this; maybe they'd had a conversation like this earlier. He wasn't sure.
Asuka hadn't taken it well. She'd argued that no, of course Kaji would make it. Shinji had found himself countering, feeling like he was going down a slippery slope into chaos. He couldn't remember what either of them had said after that, but it hadn't been pleasant.
It hadn't been their first fight, and he was sure it wouldn't be their last. But it still stung, to see her like that. She'd been angry, yes, but not the sort of defensive anger she used to push people away. It had been more of a frustration. Her mask had started to show holes, started to show the fear and despair that was so close to the surface. Shinji knew those feelings; they were in him, too. They were what had made him argue back. Placed in this world, with only each other, sometimes they would find themselves in a screaming match for no good reason, other than there was no one else to take out their fears on.
He'd needed time to cool off. He'd walked away, and found himself headed for Tokyo-2.
Tokyo-2 was an interesting place to go for a walk. The crumbling city was so quiet that your own pulse was all you could hear. Shinji came out here once in awhile, when he wanted to be alone. Those times came rather often, these days. He never admitted, even to himself, that it was a form of hiding, of running, to come out here. But there was no avoiding the fact that out here, all alone, life was easier.
An old shopping mall was his destination this time around. Shinji had seen the sagging building last time he was here, but Asuka had come looking for him and dragged him back to the settlement before he'd had a chance to investigate. This time, he was alone.
It was dangerous to walk around here; the buildings looked like they were held together with nothing more than spit and a prayer. Maybe Shinji was hoping something would collapse, would quickly take him away, make the decision for him. He didn't know. What he did understand was that he had to see what was in this building.
Stepping through the long-shattered glass doorway, he paused to let his eyes adjust. There were enough holes in the walls and ceilings to let in the afternoon sunlight, but it was still much darker in here than it was outside. As the outlines of things became visible, he started carefully picking his way around. There wasn't much left here, but enough that he could tell what things had been, another lifetime ago. Abandoned shops, shattered by the explosion of Third Impact. Clothing stores, their stock mostly shredded. Fast food, long since picked over by flies and rats.
A large hole in the floor gave him a glimpse of the lower levels; this mall had extended below ground to a certain extent. Maybe there was even an old subway down there. Shinji began to edge around the hole, wanting to see what lay beyond it on this level.
When he felt the ground shift under his feet, it was already too late.
Already pushed to the limit, a chunk of the floor gave way under his weight. Shinji let out a scream of surprise, grasping in vain for some handhold. He tumbled into the hole, the darkness underneath swallowing him up.
Ariel watched the scene carefully. It had been exhilarating at first, merging her mind to another's for the first time in years. Now the stress was starting to come through, from holding herself together, keeping the link she had with Shinji now.
She was seeing things as though through his eyes. She could feel his thoughts at the edge of her own consciousness, listen to them if she wanted. A human would have found the whole task daunting; most people don't want to see what happens in their own heads, let alone inside of others. For Ariel, though, it was second nature.
The view was dark now, through Shinji's unconsciousness. She knew her presence, or perhaps Tabris' power keeping her there, had something to do with the sharpness of this memory. She was forcing his thoughts to coalesce, to repeat an event which Shinji felt was important. Why he felt that way, she didn't understand yet, but she was getting there. Shinji's surface thoughts were murmuring away at her. Ignoring them for a moment, she chanced a deeper look, into some of the other thoughts going through his mind.
It was a difficult process, and disturbing even for her. It was not simply a matter of 'listening'. It was more like she absorbed Shinji's thoughts into herself. Even after leaving him, some small piece would remain, roiling around inside of her until it eventually sank in, becoming part of her. It would not be as extreme an imprint as she'd gotten from Asuka, but it would be there. Knowing this, she still made herself look closer. Both her friendship to Asuka and her fear of Tabris made her stay. She didn't know which was the bigger reason, though.
After a few moments of searching, she felt Shinji's memory continuing, as in his dream, he woke up again.
Shinji came around slowly, his head pounding. He took a breath, and breathed in dust. Spluttering and coughing, he opened his eyes.
He hadn't really been knocked unconscious, just dazed a little by a bump on the head. He'd been lucky; he'd crash-landed through a potted tree, which had broken his fall. He still felt like he'd been flattened, though.
He was dizzy, and couldn't see very well. It felt like he had a light concussion. Holding his head, he wondered if he could risk moving. He realized he'd better risk it; it could be some time before someone came to look for him. A necessary drawback of trying to get away from everyone.
Carefully, he stood. He considered calling for help, but again, no one would be there to hear him. He checked himself over. No broken bones. That was good, for a start.
He tried to figure out where he was, tried to remember what he'd been doing. Exploring...yes, that was it. In a mall. He'd fallen...but by the dim light of things, he was still in the mall, or its ruins anyway. That was good news, sort of. Malls had plenty of ways out. So he wasn't buried here...hopefully.
He looked around. The only light was from up above, and that was dim to begin with. Filtered even further through the holes in the ceiling, it was almost completely dark. He remembered he carried a small flashlight in his pocket, something he'd salvaged one day from a destroyed house. He didn't want to use it, though; there was no telling how long the batteries would last. Besides, his eyes would adjust.
He started walking, slowly, picking his way through the rubble, trying not to trip. His eyes adjusted to the light, as best they could, letting him at least see the outlines of things. That gave him some confidence, letting him move a little faster...until he tripped over something.
"Shit," he mumbled out, as he went face-first into the ground. Instead of hitting hard rock, like he'd been expecting, he fell into something wet. Spluttering, he got up, spitting out whatever he'd crashed into. He wiped the stuff off his face. It was slick, like oil. But what got his attention was the smell. It smelled...like blood.
He twitched. There couldn't be blood down here, right? At least not any blood other than his own. There weren't any other people around, or at least he was pretty sure. Still, it seemed worth a few seconds off of a AA battery. Digging the flashlight out of his pocket, he clicked it on, shining it into the darkness. He panned the beam down onto what he'd fallen into. Shinji twitched again, at what he saw.
It wasn't blood, or water. It was LCL. The orange liquid was spilled onto the floor, making things slick. With no small amount of trepidation, he panned the light up to what he'd tripped on.
A sneaker. Next to it was another sneaker, and above them were socks, pants, and a shirt. They were lying on the floor, looking like their wearer had simply disappeared. Which, Shinji knew, was exactly what had happened.
He shined his light around, seeing more and more abandoned sets of clothes, near their own puddles of LCL. There weren't people here...at least, not anymore.
Shivering, he switched off his light. He could handle seeing it; after all, it was just clothes. For a boy who'd seen corpses, who'd seen homes destroyed and friends murdered by his own hands, a few sets of clothes lying in LCL just weren't that bad. But he still didn't want to look if he could help it. It just reminded him of his situation. He was alone, in a world that had nearly been destroyed.
He kept moving, looking for a way out, picking his way more carefully this time, trying not to listen as his feet splashed through liquid and tripped over more shoes. He thought he found a staircase, but it had collapsed halfway up to the upper level.
He jumped a little in surprise when he heard something heavy hit the ground, far behind him, down the hall he'd been walking. Just some rubble, he thought. This place is getting ready to fall apart. Just a rock hitting the ground. He kept walking. Until he began to hear footsteps, coming from where the "rock" had hit.
"Hello?" he called out. The footsteps stopped for a moment, then picked up again, coming towards him.
Shinji became aware of his heart thudding heavily in his chest. Instinctively not wanting to see whoever it was who was down here with him, he started to walk away from the footsteps. He moved faster as they started gaining on him.
He ducked through stores and down the various branches of the hallways, looking around wildly for a way out. He considered the flashlight, but that would give him away even faster than his own movmement would. Looking over his shoulder, he thought he caught a glimpse of a silhouette, moving behind him.
He moved quickly, taking a sharp turn down another hallway. His heart dropped into his stomach, however, as he saw this was a dead end, the ceiling having caved in no more than twenty meters from where he was. And behind him, whoever-it-was was gaining.
He ducked into a store that looked like it was still in one piece. He ran into a counter almost immediately, bruising his knees. Cursing, he dove over the counter, landing noisily on a pile of broken glass and biting his tongue. Clenching his jaw to keep from shouting out in pain, he massaged sliced hands and picked slivers of glass out of his pants. Then he held his breath; the footsteps had caught up to him.
He heard the footsteps stop briefly, as the person stopped to look around. Shinji felt a brief glimmer of hope as he heard them moving away from him, which was crushed as they advanced on the store.
Shinji pressed himself up against the counter, trying to be invisible. His hand closed on a small, felt-wrapped box, and he picked it up, squeezing it just to have something to distract himself, something to keep him from driving his own fingernails through his palms. He needed it, as he heard the other person entering the store.
"Hello?" a voice asked. "Is anyone in here?" It took a moment for him to realize it, but Shinji recognized that voice.
Someone looked over the counter. In the darkness, he could only see the person's outline.
"M...Misato-san?" he asked.
"Yeah," the dark form answered, then extended a hand towards him. "What're you doing down here?"
"I was going to ask you the same thing."
She helped him up and back over the counter. "I'd heard you went out here, so I thought I'd see what's up. When I saw the hole in the floor...I had to go check. So what're you up to?"
Shinji dusted himself off, trying to get the slivers of glass out of his arms and hands. "Asuka and I had a fight. I just...I wanted to be alone for a little while."
"Maybe not this alone," Misato said, brushing him off. "What's that?" she asked, spotting something in his hand.
"Nothing," Shinji answered. He pocketed the box, feeling more than a little self-conscious now. "Just found something, is all."
Misato looked around. "Not really the place to go looking for supplies," she commented. "Though I do miss shopping."
Shinji followed her eyes, looking down into the ruin of the store. Among the rubble and shattered glass were small glints of polished metal. Looking closer, he saw it was gold, and silver, decorated here and there with small gems. It seemed he'd chosen a jewelery store as his hiding place.
Shinji laughed a little, in spite of himself. "I guess so," he said.
"Come on," Misato said. "I think I saw a way out back there."
Sure enough, back the way they had come, there was a staircase that had not yet collapsed. They were able to reach the upper level, and from there headed outside again.
It had gotten dark while they'd been in there. Shinji brushed himself off, looking out at the world rendered into shades of gray by the moon and stars.
"Shinji, just a little tip from me," Misato began, as they headed back for the camp. "If you want a relationship to work, you can't just keep running away from it whenever things get hard. I know," she continued, cutting Shinji off as he tried to explain himself. "I know you just wanted some time. But even if that's what you say, I think you were still trying to get away. Why would you go into a place like that, anyway?" Shinji didn't answer. "Unless you didn't want to be found," Misato added on.
They walked in silence for awhile longer. Shinji thought about what had happened. Now that Misato had said it out loud, it seemed obvious that she was right. He had just wanted to keep right on walking, not stopping until he ran out of land, until he ran out of people to hurt him, to depend on him when he knew he was going to fail. Remembering back to when the floor fell out from under him, he knew he'd been scared, but at the same time, some small corner of his mind had been relieved, happy that maybe this would be it, maybe his troubles were finally over.
He shivered in the nighttime chill, putting his hands in his pockets. His fingers bumped into the box he'd stuffed there.
"Uh...Misato-san, go on without me...I'll catch up in a minute." At Misato's skeptical look, he forced a small smile. "Don't worry, I won't vanish on you."
Misato gave him a small hug. "Try not to," she said, quietly. Then she left, heading back to the camp without him.
Shinji waited until she was out of sight, then removed the box from his pocket, and opened it up.
Inside was something simple, and yet not: a ring. A band of white gold, looking almost like silver. Three pearls were mounted on the sides - though it looked like there had been more, at some point - and a small diamond mounted at the top. The moonlight played through it, and it winked a rainbow at him.
Carefully, he pulled the ring from the box. He knew what this was. This was what a man gave to a woman when he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. This was something that, before the Impact, would have been very important to someone. Now, it was just a few ounces of metal and jems, worth next to nothing. A small, cold part of Shinji told him to just throw it away, forget he'd ever seen it. It reminded him of the world that no longer existed, the world that, for some reason, he knew he had had a part in destroying. It was just junk. Useless. Even as he thought this, one of the pearls on the ring slipped loose, falling to the ground.
Shinji knelt down quickly, looking over the ground for the tiny pearl. It had vanished, lost in the darkness and the dirt. Useless to look for it. He looked back to the ring, now decorated with only two pearls. The diamond winked at him again.
He hadn't even thought when he'd seen the gem fall. He'd known he had to try to find it. He might say this thing was worthless, but he knew it was far from that. He wanted to protect it. Carefully, he slid it back into the box.
Maybe he could just hide it away somewhere. It could be something to look at, to remind him of the world they might be able to build back up to, some day. That seemed like a plausible explanation for not throwing it away and forgetting he'd ever seen it. But he had a better reason than that.
Maybe some day, he would have a use for this ring. If he found someone he wanted to spend his life with...someone he couldn't live without. Asuka immediately came to mind. He tried to picture her with the ring on. For a moment, he could see their future together. They would be tired from the work and they would fight when the stress got too much. Little habits they each had would drive the other crazy. Asuka, at least, would never admit she needed him. But underneath all that, they would both be happy. They would know that they needed each other, that if ever they were parted they wouldn't rest until they were together again.
At least, that was how it was supposed to go. It sounded like a good future. For a moment, Shinji considered running towards that future, going to Asuka with this ring right now. But...no, it would be better to wait. Even now, doubts were entering his mind, if she was the one he needed more than anything else. It would be best to wait until he was certain.
Until then, he would hide this away.
He headed back to the camp, looking out to the distance, where he could see the silhouette of what had once been an MP Evangelion, kilometers away, practically a speck on the horizon from here. That was all the reminder of the old world he would ever need.
As he looked at the thing, he felt a little shiver run through him, tickling up his spine and back down again. It was like, for a moment, his blood had turned to ice. Shaking himself, he passed it off quickly as a simple chill. He didn't want to think about it.
After glancing back at the ring he held, he snapped its box shut.
It had been a long day.
Ariel took a sharp breath, her eyes opening again. She'd seen everything, and had heard his thoughts. But when the box had snapped shut, it was as though his mind had snapped shut, as well. But something was wrong. Shinji had not noticed it himself, but that shiver he'd felt...it had been wrong. Too unnatural to just be a chill. It had almost been like...
"What happened?" Kaoru asked her. "Could you help him?"
Ariel put one hand to her head, feeling as though her brain was about to come oozing out through her ears. Her efforts had taken more out of her than she'd though. "I don't know if he needed help," she answered, her voice weak. "But I think I managed a small push."
"Is he all right?" Kaoru asked, firmly.
Ariel thought about it, looking back to Shinji. "Yes," she finally answered. "I believe that now, he is just asleep. He may even wake up soon."
"Then I shall...no, you shall wait for Soryu to wake up," he said, holding her with his eyes. "Think up whatever explanation you want for his recovery."
Ariel closed her eyes for a moment. "How am I supposed to - "
She cut off, as she opened her eyes again, looking at Kaoru. But he was no longer there. She was alone, except for the unconscious forms of Shinji and Asuka.
"Showoff," she muttered to herself. She looked to Asuka, sleeping peacefully. Shinji would likely not be up for a few hours; that would gave her some time to recover her strength. It would also hopefully give her the time to come up with a decent explanation for Shinji's sudden recovery. The doctors would explain it away with their nonsensical terms. Yet some of the smarter people in the camp, like Asuka, might be suspicious. A well-timed suggestion, a random thought she "accidentally" voiced, could hopefully calm them down.
Perhaps the proximity of two Evangelions was enough to awaken his mind after trauma had closed it, she thought. It could work; it was close to the truth. She'd have to think it over, try to figure out how to say it so it sounded natural.
She'd also have to think about what she'd felt. Shinji's reaction, at the end of his dream, had carried a hint of what she felt, every time one of her brethren awakened in the physical world. But that was impossible, she'd been aware of each one to awaken. Given the time frame she'd guessed from the dream, they hadn't even been released yet. So then what could have possibly made that sensation?
She needed time. After taking a moment to catch her breath, she headed for the door.
The haze of sleep began to fade, and Shinji stirred in bed. He groaned, feeling sore. For one blissful moment, he couldn't remember what he'd been doing or where he'd been. The moment passed, and his eyes snapped open. He sat up quickly.
There was a small cry of surprise, and it didn't come from him. As his eyes focused, Shinji looked around, to see where he was. He was on a hospital bed, the rough sheets scraping his skin. Next to the bed, he saw Asuka, looking a little surprised from his sudden movement.
"Shinji?" she asked, still looking startled. "Shinji?" she asked again. Her expression softened, going from surprise over to relief. She looked like she was trying to hold it in, trying through sheer habit to keep her emotions inside behind her impregnable mask. But she was failing; Shinji could see the tears in her eyes.
"Y...yes," Shinji replied. "How'd I - "
He was cut off as Asuka grabbed him, crushing him into a tight hug. She said nothing, but Shinji could hear her sobbing on his shoulder. He put his arms around her, holding her close. Slowly, the events leading up to now began to come back to him.
"I..." Asuka tried to say, unable to catch her breath. "I thought I'd lost you."
"I'm okay," Shinji told her, quietly. "I'm okay." He brushed her hair with his fingers, not saying anything. Nothing needed to be said. Asuka kept her hold on him, quietly crying herself out, hiding her face so he wouldn't see.
After a few minutes, Asuka began to calm down, slowly relaxing her hold on him as the emotions she'd been holding up trickled out. Shinji kept holding her, letting her choose when to break the silence.
Finally, Asuka wiped her eyes and pulled away from him, still keeping her hands on his shoulders, as though to keep him there, keep him from vanishing again. She stared at him, unable to keep away her relieved smile, which for once was able to reach her red-rimmed eyes.
"A lot's happened," she finally said. "But you're all right, now. They say...they say you'll be all right."
"Where's Rei?" Shinji blurted, unable to keep that question inside any longer.
Asuka said nothing, her face suddenly going blank.
"She was hurt..." Shinji continued. He put one hand to his head, trying to dig out the memory of what had happened. "And she didn't have a heartbeat, but she was breathing, but she was bleeding, and..." he shook his head. "Where is she?"
Asuka looked at him with eyes that were slightly narrowed. Any other time, Shinji would have known that look meant he was in trouble. But through a combination of grogginess, disorientation, and painkillers, he just didn't see it.
"She's here," Asuka replied, her voice disturbingly even. "She's hurt, and not awake yet. I'm told she'll pull through." She gave him a little shake. "But how are you? What happened to you?"
Shinji blinked, thinking. "I...can't remember. Not entirely. I remember a bright light, and it hurt..." he put one hand on his back, sliding under the cotton shirt he was wearing. He winced as he felt bandages over the skin there.
"S2 bomb," Asuka answered. "I don't know the specifics. It's like a nuke. And you're full of drugs right now, that's why it doesn't hurt," she continued, pulling his hand away from his back. "The Americans tried to kill you. Twice."
"Twice?"
Asuka touched a spot on his shoulder, where more bandages were binding him together under his shirt. "When you...just showed up, they shot you."
"They what?" Shinji asked, not believing what he was hearing.
"The bastards shot you," Asuka said with a grimace. "After they tried to nuke you."
Shinji's eyes widened, thinking about that. He knew there'd been a reason for the bomb...the MP Eva...
"The fight," he said quickly. "What happened? Is that big Eva still - "
Asuka put one finger to his lips, stopping him. "You got it," she answered him. "It's dead."
Shinji felt some of the tension leave him. He lay back down on the bed, letting out a long breath. "Thank God..."
Asuka held his hand. "You're too tough for something like that, right, Shinji-chan?"
Shinji managed a small smile at Asuka's pet name for him.
"Rest up," she said. "I'll be here when you get up."
"Asuka..." he called weakly after her, as she turned to go.
Her hand on the doorknob, Asuka looked back to him. "Yeah?"
"Could you just...check in on Rei for me? Tell her I'm all right?"
Asuka stared at him, saying nothing. A moment later, she walked purposely towards the bed.
"Asuka?" he asked her, a little nervous.
She climbed onto the bed, on top of him. "Don't worry about her," she said, quietly. Shinji could feel her body heat seeping into him. "She's all right. So just..." she whispered, lowering her face towards his, "...forget about her."
Then her lips touched his, and Shinji did as he was told. He put his arms around her, feeling her body trembling under his touch. Asuka's lips were soft and warm. Yet as they continued, he felt her opening her mouth. Not quite knowing what was happening, Shinji opened his as well. Asuka moaned a little as her tongue slid into his mouth.
Shinji breathed faster, his heartbeat accelerating in sympathy as he felt Asuka's heart beating against his chest. Asuka put her hands on his face, holding him in place as she continued the kiss. But then, her hands started to move down, touching his shirt, grabbing it tightly and starting to pull it off.
Shinji made a surprised noise, muffled by Asuka's mouth. She broke the kiss then, yanking his shirt over his head before he could resist. She grabbed at her own shirt then, starting to lift it up. He caught a glimpse of her bare abdomen and looked away on reflex.
"Don't worry," Asuka purred, touching his chin, guiding his eyes back to her. "Just this once, Shinji-chan...you can look."
He and Asuka had made out before. They even slept in the same bed. But it had always been innocent - well, mostly - and they hadn't yet seen each other naked. Shinji guessed they were both just too frightened of being hurt, scared of taking the next step. Even now, he was scared enough to be rendered motionless, mesmerized as Asuka removed her shirt, throwing it away carelessly. He completely forgot how tired and sick he felt.
She wore no bra underneath, and Shinji saw all. He had seen naked women before, usually by accident. This was entirely different. She was beautiful.
He saw marks on her, angry scars that had never healed right. There were easily a half-dozen of them, boring through her chest and stomach. If he'd been able to see, he would have seen those scars mirrored by similar marks on her back. It was like she had been speared through, randomly and lethally.
He'd known something would be there. Asuka's right arm was scarred all along its length, looking like it had been split in half and then put back together. Another faint scar ran across her eye. They were all marks from the old world, the one they'd left behind. But even though he'd known it was coming, he was still shocked by the injuries. He felt a combination of fear, and sympathy for the girl. He knew without looking that her face was showing true fear, afraid of rejection, now that he'd seen her. Afraid she was somehow flawed.
Somewhat roughly, she grabbed his hand, lifting it to her chest. "It's all right," she said, pressing his hand onto her body.
It was then that the door opened.
"Hello?" came a voice from outside. "Anyone awake yet?" In the dark, a hand fumbled for the light switch.
"Don'tturniton!" Asuka shouted at him, sharply.
Yet she was not fast enough. The lights flickered on, and they were both looking at Kensuke Aida, standing in the doorway, his hand still on the switch.
Kensuke's mouth was open, as though to say something, but no words were coming out. His eyes just stared, going wide behind his glasses, as his cheeks quickly went red.
"Get out," Asuka growled.
"I...I..." he stammered.
"OUT!" she screamed at him.
Kensuke backpedaled away from the door, running into the far wall and hitting his head.
"Uh...s...sorry, Shinji, I...damn...I...sorry." He turned and ran as fast as he could, not stopping until he was outside the building.
Kensuke took a minute to catch his breath outside of the building. Despite the fact that it would be a good way to go, he was fortunate that a half-dressed Asuka was not running out to kill him.
Shinji and Asuka...'whoa', was all his mind could manage. The part of his mind which was controlled by testosterone could only think to cheer Shinji on.
The rest of his mind needed some time to recover from what he'd seen. When Toji had told him a lifetime ago that he and Hikari had 'gotten a little crazy', to use the boy's own words, Kensuke had had trouble believing it. Despite hearing the words, despite seeing Hikari pregnant later on, he just hadn't been able to believe that two of his friends were now more than friends towards each other. Now it was happening again. He hoped he would be able to take it better, this time around.
He walked away from the hospital, heading for the place he always went when he had nowhere else to go: the Evas. It took a few minutes for him to reach them, during which his mind spun its figurative wheels. When he got there, he was able to forget - for a moment - what he'd seen happening back in the hospital.
Unit-04 was a barely recognizable lump of metal. Through conversations with Kaoru and some of the other people associated with the machines, as well as eavesdropping on the occasional exchange he shouldn't have, he'd heard that most of the explosion generated by the S2 bomb had gone into destroying the MP Eva. Only about 5 percent of the total yield had been left over. But 5 percent of something with the power of a hydrogen bomb is still quite a bit, and Unit-04 hadn't been very far from ground zero. He didn't know if it could be fixed, but they'd gone to the trouble of carrying it back, so that was a good sign.
Unit-00 was a mess as well, but it looked better than it had immediately after the battle. It had been...healing. He couldn't think of another word for it. With almost no help from technicians and engineers, the Eva repaired itself, the breached armor re-growing and knitting back together, broken limbs setting themselves, the shattered cyclopean 'eye' snapping back together on its own. In the moonlight, kneeling down, unpowered, it looked almost pristine.
Despite the fact that Unit-00 was much better to look at, Kensuke couldn't keep his eyes off of Unit-04. Just for a moment back there, he'd been living his own dream. It had been his Eva. And just because he couldn't keep from pushing the big red button...well, was it really his fault? Everyone knew big red buttons were irresistable. It was just human nature.
He sat down, feeling more secure among these sleeping titans than he did back in his bed. He didn't know how much time passed like that, but after a while, footsteps approached him.
"Hey," a gruff voice began. "You can't sleep, either?"
Kensuke looked up, seeing the large silhouette of Colonel Lewis against the stars. He looked away quickly. "Yeah," he muttered.
Lewis stood next to him, putting his hands in his pockets. He said nothing for a few minutes, just looking at the Evas with him. Kensuke had not spoken much with the American commander since the last battle. Much like everyone else in the camp, he knew who had fired the bomb that, by all rights, should have killed Shinji. He also knew this man had punched Asuka in the face when she'd gone to talk to him. By all rights, he should hate this man. It wasn't like everyone else in the Japanese part of the camp didn't.
But he couldn't bring himself to feel something as strong as hatred for Lewis. Every time he thought about what the man had done, he kept thinking back to the strategic computer games he used to play obsessively, games where he'd headed an army, making warfare against an enemy. In those games, losing soldiers was just a matter of course, and if a few had needed to be sacrificed to secure a win, he'd done it without blinking. That was different from real life, where the ones being sent to die were real people. But Kensuke was sharp enough to realize that the commanders of real armies often had to forget that their soldiers were human beings. Otherwise, they'd go insane.
Lewis' ability to throw away a few lives to save many wasn't something that Kensuke saw as monstrous. It was just different. But the difference alone, thrown into such sharp relief by the most recent battle, was enough to make the man more intimidating than ever.
"You want to come inside for a little bit?" Lewis asked. "You look like you're at loose ends."
You tried to blow up my friend, Was all Kensuke could think. Yet still, he found himself replying with a "Sure." In all honesty, he was afraid to say no.
They headed back for the American side of the camp. "Tough night?" Lewis asked.
You pushed the button. "Sort of," Kensuke replied. The image of Asuka climbing onto Shinji flashed into his head. He found he wanted to talk about it. More than he'd wanted anything before, he wanted someone to talk to about what he'd seen. And Lewis was right here. But...the man had tried to kill his friend.
"What do you do when you can't sleep?" Kensuke asked, needing to talk about something, even if it wasn't about Shinji and Asuka.
"Give myself a good hearty nerve-pinch," Lewis replied. When Kensuke looked up disbelievingly at the man, Lewis grinned. "Kidding. I drink 'til whatever it is that's keeping me up just doesn't seem so bad anymore."
"There a lot of things like that? That keep you awake, I mean."
"More than I care to count." Lewis' tent came into sight. "Come on, one of your pals dropped in awhile ago, too. Everyone's awake tonight, seems like."
Kensuke found out who a moment later. Inside the tent, Ariel sat at a small card table, looking tired. She looked up at them as they entered.
"Aida-kun," she acknowledged, giving him a small nod.
"Found the lady out by the big robots, too," Lewis explained. "Said she wanted to talk. Figured it was worth a shot."
"What about?" Kensuke asked, taking a seat at the table.
"His most recent discussion with Asuka," Ariel answered, looking disinterested. She left it at that.
Lewis sat down heavily, looking tired. "Coulda sworn that girl just wanted to talk. Probably didn't mean for it to get out of hand like that. Can't really blame her for how she reacted, though."
"You say it like her black eye was her fault," Ariel commented, fixing Lewis with a glance.
"I said I was sorry," he muttered. "Self-defense, anyway. No jury'd convict me. Anyway," he said, looking to Kensuke. Kensuke was a bit intimidated by the almost eager look in Lewis' eyes. He's using me to change the subject.
"We were talking, and I spotted you out there through the flap," Lewis explained. "Thought you might want a little company."
Kensuke swallowed. He'd felt a little bloom of warmth in his chest when he'd seen Ariel here. She was a very attractive young woman, and her bizarre hair coloration and aloof personality just made her mysterious, which was even more enticing. She and Asuka were usually inseparable, but for obvious reasons she was not with her friend right now. That train of thought immediately brought on the mental image of Shinji with both Asuka and Ariel. Kensuke shook his head, trying to get rid of that image.
Now, he was beginning to think that he would have been better off outside. It was a little cold out there, but not bad. In the tent, Lewis had a space heater going, which actually made it rather warm. Ariel had broken a little sweat, which made her shirt cling to her and made it even harder for Kensuke to get his thoughts straight. This was not what he needed right now, but he couldn't bring himself to leave. He was, after all, a young man.
"So what's your excuse?" Lewis asked Kensuke. "Just can't get your eyes shut tonight?"
"Uh...nightmares," Kensuke answered. It was at least a believeable lie. He was pretty sure neither Asuka nor Shinji would want him telling the American commander what they were up to.
"Really. Same all around, I guess," Lewis answered.
Kensuke glanced over to Ariel, whose eyes were fixed on a point on the table. "Bad dreams, Ni-san?"
"Yes," she answered curtly. "Dreams I would rather not have seen."
"I know the feeling." Ariel did not look at him, but she nodded, quietly.
Lewis had a cigarette in his mouth, and with the 'click-chk' of a lighter, had it burning. "Either of you smoke?" he asked, dropping the pack of cigarettes on the table.
Kensuke immediately shook his head. Ariel looked like she was considering it, but said nothing.
"Ain't this good company," Lewis commented, getting up for a moment. He headed to the back of the tent, and Kensuke could hear the clink of glasses.
Ariel finally looked up from the table then, meeting Kensuke's eyes. Her gaze nailed him in place. "Normally I visit Asuka when I am having a tough night. But she was asleep when I last saw her. Do you know if she's awake?"
"Yes!" Kensuke answered automatically. "I mean no. I mean no, I haven't seen her. Recently. I haven't seen her recently. At all. I mean, I'm no stalker and I don't know where she is and there's no way to tell and you said she was asleep but she's not in her bed or anyone else's so I don't know maybe she just - "
His babble was cut off as Ariel held up a hand. "All right," she said. "I just asked if you'd seen her. I...saw something earlier and I want to talk to her about it."
Kensuke swallowed. "Um...c-can you talk to m...anyone else about it?"
Ariel blinked, looking at him. "It is not really anyone else's concern. Except perhaps Ikari-kun's, provided he doesn't know already. Given the state of his mind, that's possible." She paused, keeping her eyes on Kensuke. "I would ask you where Ikari is, but I don't know if I want to hear the answer."
"You don't," Kensuke answered quickly. "Just...uh...just talk to him, or Asuka in the morning. They'll be together...at least I guess so, I think that's how it works, and Shinji's not the kind to..." he trailed off, at the questioning look he was getting from Ariel.
"You are very strange," she commented.
Kensuke shrank a little. "Sorry," he said. "Just a little tired, I guess."
"That's not a bad thing," Ariel said. "Being strange, I mean. I know I am quite strange."
"No you're not," he said. "Now Ayanami, she's the strange one. 'Course she's always been that way, but you're almost normal compared to her...what?" he asked.
Ariel was giving him a look that Kensuke knew quite well, having
received it a number of times from Asuka. It was a hard-eyed, thin-
lipped expression of anger, just barely kept under control. "Do not.
Compare me. To Rei," Ariel said, firmly.
Kensuke said nothing to this, his mouth having gone dry. Screwed up, he thought to himself. Now she hates me. He couldn't help wondering why she referred to Rei by her first name, though, if she hated her so much.
Lewis returned then, with three glasses full of clear liquid.
"Sometimes a drink helps out," he said, putting a glass down in front of each of them as he sat down.
Kensuke eyed his glass cautiously. "What is this?" he asked. He remembered the last time he'd let Lewis give him something to drink. It had been like drinking molten iron.
"Just water," Lewis answered, straight-faced.
"Oh." He glanced back at Ariel, and his throat dried again; she still had that angry expression. Without hesitating a moment longer, he picked up his glass and had a drink.
"I lied, it's vodka," Lewis said quickly, as the taste of it hit Kensuke's tongue.
Kensuke's body reacted on its own, trying to expel the stuff in his mouth. He managed to keep himself from vomiting or even from gagging too much, but he couldn't keep from spitting out the vodka in a nearly explosive spray over the table.
Spluttering, Kensuke put his glass back on the table and wiped off his eyes, which were watering. He looked back up at the others. Lewis was visibly suppressing a laugh, seeing the success of his little joke. He'd known what was coming and had leaned back, out of the way of Kensuke's violent spit.
Ariel, however, had not been so lucky. Not only had she been directly across from Kensuke and thus unable to get out of the way by simply leaning back, she had been distracted at the time and hadn't looked up until she was already soaked. She was now glaring at Kensuke with narrow eyes, looking quite a bit like a drowned kitten.
"Oh..." Kensuke croaked, his voice having trouble working. His throat had closed up, both from the alcohol and from the sight of Ariel herself, whose shirt was now drenched and clinging to her, highlighting every single curve to a degree he hadn't thought possible until just now. He tried to apologize, but the words weren't coming.
Ariel calmly brushed the damp hair out of her eyes, and got up. She walked away, going behind Kensuke, who didn't bother to look up.
"There is no way this night can get worse," he mumbled to himself, inadvertently saying the words which always tempt Fate to prove you wrong.
Kensuke jumped as Ariel stepped up behind him and dumped the contents of a large canteen of water over his head. The liquid was quite cold and made him yelp, shivering as the temperature settled in.
"Lady pays her debts," Lewis commented, laughing.
"I try to pay back people who wrong me," Ariel said, a small grin on her own face as she headed back around to her seat. She picked up her own glass and downed it in one shot.
"Got some practice there?" Lewis asked, producing the bottle he'd poured the vodka from.
"I know how to drink," Ariel answered, simply.
Kensuke managed to dry himself off. A lot of things were going through his head now, the strongest being he'd just been beaten by a girl, in more ways than one.
"Let me try that again," he said, pushing his glass towards Lewis, who obligingly filled it again, diluting it with a bit of water from another canteen. Kensuke tried it gingerly, letting himself swallow this time around.
"Wait."
Asuka, who'd been kissing Shinji's neck, stiffened a bit at his word. She looked up at him. "What?"
"Just...wait a minute."
"I don't want to." She went back to his neck, then.
Once Kensuke had bolted, Asuka had taken a moment to switch off the light again - and lock the door - before getting back into bed with Shinji. She had tried very hard to pick up where she'd left off. And yet, despite the fact that Shinji felt himself responding, despite the fact that Asuka's chest pressed against his own was quite pleasant, Shinji found himself hesitating.
"You...you don't have to do this," he tried.
"What?" she asked, sounding worried.
"You...you're trying to force it," he mumbled to her. "I don't think..." he swallowed nervously. "...I don't think you're ready. Don't think we're ready, I mean."
"Yes we are," she said quickly.
Shinji did something that was very difficult for him. Placing his hands on Asuka's shoulders, he pushed her up, off of him.
"What is it?" she asked, looking almost betrayed.
Shinji had to force himself to keep looking at her face. If he looked any lower, he might forget what he was doing.
"It's just...I'm tired right now. I just...want to sleep." It was the truth; despite the fact that he'd just regained consciousness, it still felt like he'd run for miles.
Asuka's expression then was enough to make Shinji regret waking up. He knew he was hurting her, but...something inside of him said that doing anything else would just end up hurting her even more.
Asuka finally looked away, closing her eyes as well. "I am such an idiot..." she mumbled to herself. "I just wanted to...you were back, and I thought you were dead, and then..." she went quiet then, climbing off of him and going over to the corner, fumbling for her shirt in the dark.
"Asuka, I just - "
"Shut up," she bit out. Finding her shirt, she pulled it back on. Then she climbed back into bed with him.
"Asuka?"
"Say anything more and you'll regret it," she said. She put her arms around him, lying down next to him. "You can sleep. But let me be here, too."
"A...all right," he said, hestitantly. He closed his eyes, trying to relax. Slowly, the excitement of the moment passed, and he felt himself beginning to fall asleep.
"I'm sorry," Asuka whispered in his ear.
"Don't be," he replied. He put his arm around her, squeezing her shoulders. "One day, when we're ready, we'll...finish this."
"...Promise?"
"Promise."
A person's tolerance to alcohol is a function both of their body weight and their experience with it. Neither Kensuke nor Ariel weighed very much. Neither were they big drinkers. Despite what Ariel said about knowing how to drink, that knowledge had come from Asuka. Ariel herself had never had a serious drink in her life. Until just now.
The result of all that was that the both of them were quite tipsy in a very short amount of time.
"Sho, sho, waitaminut," Ariel slurred. "Yur sayin' yu saw...wha?"
"I'm sr'ious," Kensuke answered. "They wer all lik, 'whoo hoo' in bed." For some reason, this seemed very funny. He started laughing. Ariel joined in.
"An' you din't stay to...uh...to watch?" Ariel asked, after she'd had a chance to catch her breath.
Still giggling to himself, Kensuke just shrugged. "Well, you know Shin...he need'd to be alone, you know? With his grrl."
"As'ka 'd bust his balls, I'm shure. I know herrr."
Kensuke tried to look at her like he didn't believe her, but only succeeded in putting on a face that made both of them start laughing again.
"Yu dun't know 'er tha well," he finally said.
"Oh, try me," Ariel countered. "I know evr'ythin in her. We're real close."
That statement made Kensuke's drunk mind conjure up a certain image. He went red.
"All right, I cut people off at the lesbian jokes," Lewis commented, taking away the now-empty bottle of vodka, along with a few others that had joined it in the past hour. "If you two can't get to sleep now, you never will."
"Oh, all right," Kensuke mumbled, trying to get to his feet. He wobbled for a few moments before catching his balance.
"Figure you can get back on your own?" Lewis asked him.
"We're good. Goooooood," Ariel answered, finding her own feet. "I know where I shleep." She looked thoughtful for a moment, then pointed in a random direction. "Tha way."
"Believe me, I think I should walk you," Lewis said. "But right now I'd rather run barefoot through a mine field go to your side of the camp." He got them to to the tent flap, and gently pushed them outside. "Sleep it off, OK?"
"Yah, we shleep it off," Kensuke said, mostly just repeating Lewis' words without understanding them.
Stumbling and staggering, the pair started off towards the Japanese side of the camp. It was normally a ten-minute walk, at most.
"Wun'der how it was?" Kensuke asked to no one in particular. "I mean, Sh'nji and As'ka gettin' it on."
"Could go watch," Ariel said in between staggers. "Mig't be fuuuun."
They both laughed again at this, which again seemed funny for no reason.
"Nah, he needs his time." Kensuke thought about that. "I need t'be askin' him about it, tho," he said, after a moment. "Toji don't tell me nothin' 'bout it. My'be Sh'nji'll open up."
"Wha?"
"Lookit me," Kensuke said, pounding himself on the chest. "I'm the on'ly one of us now. On'ly one still...uh..." he trailed off, unable to remember the word he wanted. "Still vir...uh...virg...uh...still alone."
His mood shifted quickly then, as he realized this was very sad. He started singing a very off-key version of 'All By Myself,' something he'd heard one too many times on the radio. Ariel thought it was truly moving. She started to cry.
Kensuke watched as Ariel stopped walking and sat down on the ground, wiping at her teary eyes.
"Wha's wrong?" he asked, doing the world a favor by not singing any more.
"I'm just..." Ariel trailed off, then caught her breath. "I'm tired."
Kensuke sat down, not too close but not too far from her. "Me too."
"I wanna go home."
"Me too."
They sat quietly for a moment, before Ariel started shaking her head. "No, I mean...really go home."
"Me too." Kensuke was starting to feel like a broken record.
"You dun't get it!" Ariel shouted, lunging at him, tackling him and pinning him to the ground. "Any'whre I go, any'whre, it's not home fur me. No'whre in the world."
Kensuke blinked, looking up at her tear-streaked face not five centimeters from his own. He'd raised one hand to catch her as she'd lunged at him. That hand now felt like it was on something soft and round. That realization scrambled his mind even more than it already was. "Wha?" was all he could manage.
Ariel pointed, again without looking. This time, however, she was pointing up, at the night sky. "Tha's where I'm from. I wanna go back there. High up, so no one hurt me."
Kensuke blinked again. "Yur in the sky?"
Ariel shook her head again. "No, higher."
Kensuke thought about that. His science-fiction addled brain finally came to a conclusion.
"Yur an..." he looked back and forth quickly to see if anyone was listening, then lowered his voice. "Yur an...alien?"
Ariel sat up, finally getting off of him. She looked like she was trying to think very hard about something.
"Well, yur close," she said. She started flapping her arms then, like wings.
Kensuke was still lying on the ground, flexing the hand that had been on her. He wondered if Shinji had ever been in that position before.
"I jus' wanna go home," Ariel mumbled to herself, going still again.
Kensuke remained on the ground; he liked it down there. "Al'rig, I'll help ya," he said. "I'll...uh..." his eyes fell on the Evangelions, distant but still quite visible due to their massive size. "I'll get in Unit-04 and throw you high enough. But I..." he said, as he remembered something. "I don't think that'll work...Unit-04 dun't like me."
"It dun't know you," Ariel replied, not looking at him. "I know it, it's got Lel...uh...Lel-i-el inside it. It dun't like 'umans, 'cept that Shi...uh...Shin...'whoo hoo' boy. An' it lets him in 'cause it's 'fraid of him."
"How're yu knowin' tha?"
"I'm that good," she replied, with a self-satisfied grin. "Maybe I can talk to it...no," she shook her head. "I'm not gettin' in one of those thin's...I got it!" she declared. "I can make it so Lel-i-el like you." She leaned over him.
"How're yu gunna do...mmmmph..." he was cut off as Ariel pressed her lips down onto his.
As first kisses go, it was different, to say the least. Fairly innocent, at least as innocent as two drunk teenagers can get. Kensuke was too surprised to try slipping his hand back to where it had been a second ago.
After a second, Kensuke felt a shock of something, like sticking his tongue on a battery. It seemed to pass from Ariel and into him, sending a tremor through his entire body.
Ariel sat up again, breathing in. She'd been holding her breath. "There," she said. "Now Unit-04'll like you. I think."
Kensuke tried to say something, but couldn't. Ariel stood up again, swaying a bit. "I'm goin' to bed," she said, staggering off towards the camp.
Kensuke decided to stay right where he was. There was no chance he'd be able to walk, not now. Besides, it wasn't too cold out, and the ground felt so nice. So he just closed his eyes, and dreamed of things he wished he'd been able to do when the mysterious white-haired girl had been in front of him.
Yet as sleep began to take him, something happened. Like some beast that had crept up and pounced, a chill settled in. He shook, holding himself as his body spasmed, frozen to the bones, for a moment.
It passed, slowly. Kensuke sat up, feeling a bit more sober. Maybe it was a bit colder outside than he'd thought it was. He felt sick inside. Part of it was from the alcohol, he knew. But some of it wasn't. It was some sort of nameless fear, an instinct that something had just happened, something very wrong.
Shaking himself, he started back towards the camp.
And kilometers away, one of the frozen statues of the MP Evas began to move.
Endnote: as you'd expect, "All By Myself" is not my property. All terms in the disclaimer apply to that song as well.
My apologies for the very long delay. Looking down at my standard dates below this note, I can see it's been too long. School and life have a way of hindering my fanfiction progress. In fact, as I write this very endnote, I'm sitting in school, getting ready to go to class. My apologies to all my fans for this. However, Angels of Armageddon will continue, until the end.
Started: August 17, 2004 Ended: January 27, 2005
Thanks go to Avatar of Dragonia for many ideas involving the first part of this chapter, i.e. Shinji's dream.
Apologies also go to all my prereaders for not sending this chapter to them first. I had to satisfy the ravenous fans, you know.