Disclaimer: I own very little.

A/N: I just flipped through the second album to see what caused Ryoga's love for Akane... And noticed that it was her care for P-chan. So, as a definite slash fan, I got this idea: What about if it had been Ranma who adopted the little pig? And what if Ryoga fell in love with Ranma-chan instead? Well, this is my version of what would have happened... And I promise not to make it just a copy of the ogirinal storyline with Akane's and Ranma's positions swapped in relation to Ryoga. Not that it would manage, anyway.

WARNINGS: There will be slash/yaoi/shounen-ai RanmaXRyoga in later chapters. That won't come along for a while yet, though.

Rating may or may not go up later on.

A Pig's Life

Chapter 1:

Pervert Piggy

Hibiki Ryoga looked at the house in front of him, fuming. A glance at the sign on the wall of the dojo told him enough. "Tendo Dojo." So this was where Ranma Saotome was residing. At the moment the bastard was probably peacefully sleeping. Well, not too long anymore. 'Today, Ranma... You meet your end!' he thought vengefully, his face darkening momentarily. With this one thought, he made to find Ranma.

Finding Ranma's room was easy. Well, it would have been easy, had it not been for Ryoga's sense of direction. As it was, however, he soon found himself in a room that definitely didn't look like it could belong to Ranma. The shõjo manga albums, the stuffed ... No, this was a girl's room. And there was a girl sleeping there, too... namely, one Tendo Akane, sound asleep in her own bed.

Well, at least she had been sound asleep. Just as Ryoga made to exit the room to try to find Ranma's bedroom, she suddenly blinked slowly, then sat up, glancing sleepily around. As soon as her eyes met the intruder in the dark room, however, she screamed out in rage. "Eeeek! A pervert!" she screeched, then made to attack him. Where on Earth did she pull the mallet from, Ryoga couldn't even begin to guess.

Intent on not showing his face to somebody who thought of him as a pervert, Ryoga made a hasty exit through the -- thankfully -- open window, opening his trusted umbrella just in time to avoid getting. Unfortunately, this did not stop the girl's chase after him, like he'd thought would happen. Instead, she just jumped out after him. Leaping from the balcony, Akane didn't seem to mind the fall; she was concentrated solely on catching and bashing the "pervert" she had seen in her room.

Unfortunately, her scream had also woken up other occupants of the house. More precisely, Ranma was now, unknown to the two people outside, making her way down the stairs to examine the source of the noise. In the stairway, however, she was met by Kasumi. "Did you hear it, too, Ranma?" she asked.

"Yeah," replied the boy. "I'm gonna find out what caused that. I think I heard somebody outside, too." With this, he started to rush towards the door, then pulled it open to look outside. In the rain that was pouring rather heavily he saw Akane and another vaguely familiar figure. At first he was confused, but then he recognized the umbrella and the backpack.

"I think that's Ryoga," Ranma mused aloud. "I dunno what he's doing here... If he's come to challenge me again, I'm gonna kill him. It's past two AM, I wanna sleep." As if to point this out, he yawned.

Ryoga, this far concentrated solely on his fight, now heard even the hushed tones Ranma was using to talk with Kasumi. Therefore, he glanced towards the source of the voice, and froze momentarily as he recognized the primary target of his vengeance. Before he could even growl, "Ranma!", however, he was stunned as Akane kicked him. And that kick, rather effectively, ended the fight.

Oh, Ryoga had taken much damage earlier. Usually even the strongest kicks from Akane wouldn't have done much for him. Even now, it didn't harm him except for forming a small bump, although it did surprise him that he'd been distracted much enough for Akane to get a hit in. However, the most important part was that she had knocked his umbrella aside. In an instant the rain started to soak him and his clothes.

Without stopping to think, Ryoga rushed off as fast as he could. He would not transform in front of Ranma and his damned fiancée. He most certainly would never do that. Therefore, he had to hide.

"Hey! Don't even try to hide, you pervert!" screeched Akane. The mallet still steadily in her hand, she now ran towards the direction her opponent had disappeared to. Ranma, now bored rather than amused, yawned again. It was no fun to watch the empty yard now that both Akane and Ryoga had left.

"Oh, I'm so glad it was just a friend of yours," sighed Kasumi. "Now I can rest easily. Thank you for coming to investigate, Ranma! You'll make sure Akane gets back sleeping in time, won't you?"

"Maybe," replied Ranma, not really interested. His eyes glanced around the yard for the last time, and he suddenly saw something odd. Not thinking it to be anything special at first, he rushed to see what it was. It wasn't until he felt his body change into a more shapely one that he -- or, rather, she -- realized his mistake. Sighing, she still rushed towards the odd thing. Might as well do that; she was already wet.

To her great surprise, this "odd thing" was a little pig. A small, black pig, with a yellow-black bandanna around his neck and big, almost frightened eyes. Picking it up, Ranma eyed him closely. Then, she smiled.

"Do you know who you remind me of?" she asked teasingly, hurrying back inside. The little pig was kind of amusing, especially with the bandanna, and she just knew he would annoy Akane greatly. She certainly didn't need more reason to take him inside from the rain. "You're kinda like Ryoga. You have a similar bandanna, plus you turn up unexpectedly. I think I'll call you Ryo-chan." She flashed an evil grin. "Or Ryo-kun? Lessee." With this, she lifted the wriggling and protesting pig up. "Oh, yeah, you're a male. Ryo-kun, then. Although I wouldn't much object to calling you Ryo-chan... just because."

If the pig wanted to protest about that, he didn't make it known. Therefore, Ranma happily carried the pig into the living room. There she dried at first herself, then the pig. Examining it, she noticed a small bump on his head. Frowning, she muttered, "Who ever would beat a little pig? Some coward, I guess. Well, come on, Ryo-kun. We're gonna get that fixed." Looking at the still shivering pig, she then came to another decision. "Here, let's keep you warm while I look for some bandaids." And she put him inside her shirt.

Ryoga -- or, rather, Ryo-kun -- was feeling very bothered at the moment. It was one thing to challenge Ranma as a man. It was a wholly another thing to be pressed between his -- or her? This was kind of confusing -- breasts when she was a woman. It was... indecent.

Ryo-kun felt himself blush fiercely at the mere thought of where he was currently laying. So, he decided it was best not to think at all and just enjoy his current place.

...Wait a minute... Enjoy! He was a guy, damn it! He wasn't supposed to enjoy being pressed against another guy's... round breasts...

Okay, so maybe something was a bit amiss in this situation. Like, the fact that guys usually didn't have breasts. Ranma, however, had them -- at least now. So, maybe he indeed could enjoy it... In fact, this was almost better than a real girl. He might have felt bad about being crushed against a girl's breasts, but as Ranma was in reality a guy, it didn't count. No need to be embarrassed... No, really...

A moment later, however, he was pulled out of the shirt and put into Ranma's lap. The girl-boy put a bandaid on the bump on his head, the one he'd got from Akane's kick. He flinched away, only to be held firmly on place by Ranma's hand until the aquatranssexual had stopped tending to him.

"Hey, no need to squirm," snapped Ranma. "I'm not gonna hurt you, you know. I ain't the type to attack weak little animals." Putting a finger under the bandanna around his neck, she tucked at it. "Although I do wonder where you got this from... You ain't Ryoga's pig, are you?" she asked, suddenly wary.

At this, Ryo-kun shook his head frantically. No, he didn't want Ranma to think that he had any connection to Hibiki Ryoga. That would only lead to troubles, and big troubles at that.

"You're a clever pig, I see," chuckled Ranma. "Let's see what Akane thinks of you... but whatever she says, I think I'm gonna keep you, Ryo-kun. You're amusing... besides, I'd like to try to teach you some martial arts. Wouldn't that be neat? You'd be the first martial arts expert pig ever!"

At this, Ryo-kun nodded. This was the perfect opportunity! He could stay close to Ranma and learn all about his weak points. Then, he could easily win him in a battle. Simply perfect!

...And the breasts weren't a bad thing, either...

No no no no no. Stupid Ryo-kun. Naughty Ryo-kun. Do not think about her breasts. They're not real.

In any case, it would be easier to stay close to Ranma and observe him in pig form. His sense of direction as a human was bad enough for him to get lost on his way to the door. As a pig, he could actually get around somehow -- he was not an expert, and could still get lost in strange places, but at least he wouldn't get lost on his way from kitchen to living room. That was certainly an improvement from his real form.

"Oh, hi, Akane!" said Ranma then, looking up. Ryo-kun also looked up only to see a very angry, very wet Tendo Akane walking in. Fearing another attack with the mallet, he backed up a little in Ranma's lap.

"What's that?" asked Akane irritably. She glared at Ryo-kun as if he was something slimy and disgusting. For a moment the pig was sure she would attack him, no matter if she actually recognized him.

"This is Ryo-kun," replied Ranma carefreely. "I just found him. Hey, Ryo-kun. Say hi to Akane." Startle by a poke on his side, the pig let out a squeak. This seemingly satisfied Ranma, who grinned cheerfully. "I'm gonna teach him to be the first martial artist pig ever, worthy of being my pet."

Akane's anger slowly faded a bit, and then she looked at the pig indifferently. "Well, at least it's rather cute... Cute enough not to make me throw up, anyway." With that, she turned around. "Oh, well. I guess I'm going to take a bath. I was soaked through while trying to catch the pervert, and he still escaped."

Of course, exactly at that moment, Ryo-kun's nose started to twitch, and it sneezed. Ranma looked at his new pet for a moment, then said, "Hey, warm the piglet up, too. It was wet and cold when I found it."

For a moment, Akane just stared at him disbelievingly. Then she snorted. "Fine. Toss it here." Then, uncaring about the pig's squirming and squeaking, she started to make her way towards the bathroom.

"You're lucky you're cute," grumbled Akane at the pig. "Otherwise I would kill you, you know. I'm really angry now. How did that pervert dare sneak into my room? Well, let's get you warm at first. I'm not going to take a bath with a pig, no matter how cute one." With that, she tossed the pig in the warm bath.

A second later, she was really, really happy about the fact that she still hadn't undressed herself.

"Ryoga!" she asked, shocked. "How you... Why you..." She shook her head, then asked, "You have fallen into a Jusenkyo spring, too, haven't you?" Well, it should have been obvious, but...

"Yes," Ryoga ground out. Inside, he was sighing with relief. Seemingly she hadn't seen the face of the "pervert", or he'd have been in real trouble now. "If you tell Ranma, I'll..." He didn't finish his threat.

"Don't worry!" Akane piped up. "I won't tell him, I swear it by my honour... But... why are you here?"

"I was outside, the rain got me wet, Ranma found me. End of the story," Ryoga explained briefly. By Kami, he'd be damned if he actually told her that he'd been the one in her room! "If you wouldn't mind turning around, I'd like to get myself changed... I don't have any clothes on me, you know."

At that, Akane blushed furiously. "Fine," she muttered, turning around to allow him to get up from the bath. "But you won't be in here when I am bathing, you know!" she added then quickly.

The only reply she got to this was a splash of water and then a snorted, "Bweee!" and then the sound of little hooves tapping towards the door. Snorting, she made sure he had truly left before starting to undress. You never knew with guys, especially with all those perverts running around nowadays.

Ranma was just starting to wonder what was holding Akane when he heard some noise from the corridor. Looking there, he -- at this point, he had changed back -- saw Akane running along the corridor, a towel around her, chasing a terrified-looking Ryo-kun. Grasping the pig and pulling it to himself, he asked, "What the hell has got into you, Akane? Why're you chasing Ryo-kun? What'd he do to you?"

"What has he done, you ask!" screamed Akane. "He tried to sneak a peek at me when I was in the bath!"

"What!" Now, Ranma looked amused. "For Kami's sake, Akane, calm down. He's just a pig, not a guy. What's wrong with him seeing you naked? Not that there's much to see, anyway..."

"Ranma no baka!" yelled Akane in rage, whacking him with her ever-trusted mallet. Then, she glared at the pig. How dared he do that, after she promised to keep his secret and all! Well... even if he wasn't honorable, she would be. "By the way, Ranma," she said, forcing herself to calm down a bit. "The pig seems to be afraid of hot water. Maybe somebody's tried to boil it once or something. So, don't pour tea on it or anything like that, unless you want your little pet to get upset." And with that, she turned abruptly around and hurried towards here room.

For a moment, Ranma looked after her, rubbing the place she'd hit. Then, he looked down at Ryo-kun. "Such a sudden change of mind," he muttered. "I'll never understand girls. What about you?"

The black piglet, however, could only shake his head in astonishment. No, he didn't understand girls, either.

Later, while waiting for sleep, Ranma glanced at the half-asleep pig on the side of his futon. "Akane's really weird," he muttered. "I can't believe she'd steep as low as to try to attack a baby pig. Well, don't worry, Ryo-kun," he then said, yawning a bit. "Once I'm done training you, you're gonna bash a few weird girls any day. And until then, I ain't gonna let her come near to you. You're my pig now."

Ryo-kun could hardly do anything but snort in agreement.

Next chapter:

Ranma introduces Ryo-kun to the rest of the family and starts his training, while the pig develops an unfortunate attraction to him/her. Kodachi will maybe make an appearance, too, though I give no promises.