Title: Reflections
Author: Niki-chan
Rating: G
Summary: Years in the future, Kikyo reflects on her life and the life of another.
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. They belong to the incredibly talented Tahahashi-sensei.
A/N: Just a little note to everyone waiting on part 6 for 'Memoirs of a Lost Soul'. The story is not on hold or anything. Sadly my computer broke down when I was half-way through writing it. I finally have a new computer but the story is gone, so I'm in the process of re-writing it, which is a little frustrating. Thanks for your patience though! I hope to have it up very soon.
No matter how many times I witness it, it never ceases to amaze me.
How such a simple and ultimately insignificant thing can bring such warmth to my cold heart, I am unsure.
Yet every time I see it, it is as if I am suddenly unable to grasp onto the hatred and anger I so desperately cling to.
How I am so affected by it, I may never understand.
Yet as I watch, hidden carefully out of sight, a barrier constructed to mask my unmistakable scent, I cannot help but feel the slightest tinge of something I have not felt in quite some time.
Happiness.
Yes, it is undoubtedly happiness.
It is so peculiar that watching something such as this would invoke this feeling.
By all ration and reason it should have the opposite effect.
After all, it is never easy to watch someone else in the arms of the man you love.
But for reasons I cannot quite explain, watching the half demon in the arms of the strange young miko, causes the slightest of smiles to creep onto my lips.
I will not lie to myself, however. I am jealous.
After all, this was supposed to be my life.
If not for Naraku, this would have been my future.
I was not intended to die those years ago.
But even as I think it, I somehow feel it is untrue.
Who am I to say what was and wasn't intended?
I smile again as I watch him place his hand on her growing belly.
How far is she now? It must be about six months.
She is glowing. She is radiant in a way that I never was.
I suppose that is why she was able to break through the wall he had constructed around his heart.
Perhaps in time, I could have done so as well.
I'll never know though.
I suppose it doesn't matter now anyway.
He is happy, and despite everything, it is all I have ever truly wanted.
I smile even wider when a small boy runs out of the hut and leaps into his father's arms.
The boy's silver hair sparkles in the few remaining rays of sunlight as his father spins him around.
Hmm…
It suddenly occurs to me that the child has silver hair.
When I was alive I always imagined starting a family with him.
But in my dreams the children always had black hair.
I suppose that is another difference between the younger miko and I.
Despite my love for him, I never truly accepted him the way he was.
I am ashamed for that.
Perhaps if I had been more accepting, more true to our love, Naraku would not have been able to manipulate us.
I shake my head slightly.
There is no sense in wondering what might have been.
It is not as though I have the ability to change the past.
And as I watch the couple, smiling and laughing with their young child, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their second…
I wonder if I would even want to change it.
Perhaps everything truly does happen for a reason.
After all, had it not been for my death all those years ago, my reincarnation would have never existed.
She would have never fallen down that well.
She would have never fallen in love with the hanyou.
And if not for her, he would have never truly experienced the joy of unconditional love and happiness.
How could I possibly wish all that away?
I smile softly, and a little sadly, as I watch the family head inside.
The sun is setting now, and it is time for me to go.
I have many things to do. And I can always watch them another time.
But it is always hard to leave this moment.
I never wish to return to the harsh loneliness of my own existence.
However, I am able to find solace in one thing.
While I am unable to remain here, I realize that in a way, this is my life as well.
After all, we share the same soul, she and I.
This thought comforts me, and will remain with me until I return here again some day.
I take one last glance at the peaceful home before turning away.
Goodnight, my dear InuYasha.
Take good care of her.