Please leave a review! And also to all you reviewers I'm sorry that I messed up with the characters and stuff. I was in a hurry when I thought of the idea because I was going on vacation so I'm sorry to all you guys that read this. So enjoy the new version of it. Also, I do not own or play Dungeons and Dragons. I got that idea from reading a web comic.
Day 1
Location: Adlas Plains
Weather Report: Foggy
We had a small skirmish today, mostly cavalry though. We just took up some of our anti-horse weapons and killed them easily. Colm was at the front lines though, having a good eye-sight, and was nearly killed by cavaliers wielding lances. It was actually pretty amusing watching Colm running away into that abandoned fort.
Well, our troops are doing well so far. Natasha is doing great with her healing skills, but Moulder is complaining that she gets to do all the healing and earn all the "experience points" which are hard to earn for healers. That sounded perverted somehow, which I will not say to readers who don't even understand what I'm thinking of. Franz's swordplay is improving and so is Eirika's. Ross is becoming better with his axe. Joshua just goes around and flirts with Natasha. I think Natasha is playing hard to get.
Oh we also saw a Bael, a giant spider. They almost ate Renais hostages, which is why we were even in this fight, but luckily Vanessa and Neimi killed it before they could get to them.
After that we just headed for the local village. Along the way we met a guy named Paul, who was kicked out of some random bar we passed. He claimed that he was a strategist from somewhere called Elibe. Then he said he guided the forces to destroy a villain from releasing dragons from a portal. None of believed him, but Eirika and Seth hired him for some reason. Seth thinks he's like one of the group's leaders and says that he can make decisions for the group.
Well whatever. We're camping outside of the village which is confusing me, seeing that there's an inn at the village. The list says I'm bunking with Paul and Artur. I don't want to bunk with either of them because one, Paul's a complete stranger we just picked up from the streets and two, Artur is slightly annoying at times.
Prodigy, Lute
Day 2
Location: Adlas Plains village
Weather Report: Foggy Yet again
We're here again and buying some supplies. I don't know why we can't just walk and buy some stuff along the way. Well that's what happens when you have an uptight paladin traveling with you, saying, "we need those supplies for when our weapons break and turn into germ infested dust that might give you a deadly disease." The only deadly disease I have is a monk that annoys me to tells me to stay somewhere safe.
Artur is all "stay here Lute and I'll get try to reach that group with low armor!" That was when we met the group at the Za'ha woods. Okay maybe I was exaggerating, but still, he can be sort of annoying at times.
Joshua is at the bar with some money he found and is making bets. He did a magic trick that earns him money with some drunken guy. Here's what happened…
Joshua is at the bar which Paul was kicked out of and walks over to some stupid looking guy. He sits down next to him and slowly turns to him.
"Hey want to do a magic trick where you get money?" said Joshua holding some cash and a small box.
The man turned to Joshua. "Yeah sure, why not!" replied the drunken male.
"Ok." Joshua put 500 gold in a box. "Now you put 500 gold in the box."
The man reached into his pocket and dropped 500 into the box.
"Great!" Joshua grinned. "Now that there's 1000 gold in the box I'll sell this box and all its contents to you for 850 gold."
"Wow! You're a generous guy! What a great magic trick! I'll take it!" The drunken man took the box and handed 850 to Joshua.
"Yup I'm that kind of guy! Bye and have a nice day!"
I was also at the bar so I heard this. I didn't understand the trick at first. I took a piece of paper and did some math. Joshua actually became richer and the drunken guy actually became poorer. Joshua started with 500 and the other guy started with 1350. Now they both put 500 in the box. Joshua now has nothing and the guy now has 850. Now Joshua sells the box for 850 to the other man. Joshua is now 350 gold richer. The guy pays and has the box containing 1000 gold. So that makes him 350 gold poorer.
Well, that was the exercise for my brain today. I wonder how long it'll take that man to realize how much money he just lost.
Half of us are at the village buying some supplies and the rest are at camp relaxing. Very unfair. Seth never fights and he's at the camp relaxing. All he ever does is yell orders out.
Oh well. I paid Ross 50 gold then gave him the gold I was given to buy the stuff on the list I was given. Sucker. Time for relaxation.
Prodigy, Lute
Day 3
Location: On the road to Renvall
Weather: Peachy
Today we're on the road to Renvall. Apparently Eirika's brother is there and we need to rescue him from Grado forces. Right now we're just walking and most of the group is complaining that their feet hurt and that they need to be fed more. Personally, I think most of our little group is full of a bunch of lazy soldiers. For example, Joshua, who's always hitting on Natasha and Ross who always hits an enemy soldier once then runs coming back to one of us asking for a vulnerary. It's not just them though. There aren't many sane people around here.
Artur is annoying me about the random species of bugs on the ground. He thinks they're out to get him, plotting some weird plan to bite him and devour his rotting body. The only way his body is going to get devoured is by a fire spell that will consume his flesh. Don't get me wrong, me and Artur are best friends and all, but he can be a huge pain in the neck. I think his parents spelled his name wrong though. There's supposed to be an "h" between the "t" and "u."
We're still on the road seeing that Eirika isn't going to let us stop walking until nightfall. Ross complained that his blisters on his feet are starting to get blisters. That's sort of creepy if you think about it.
Thank God it's almost night. I almost thought that my feet would fall off. I'm still sharing a tent with Artur and Paul though. Paul just walks around and asks for food from us. You can't blame him, his waist is like 24 freaking inches or something. He eats a lot though and he doesn't get any fatter.
I'm going to put a huge beetle I found in Artur's bed. Artur is going to have a little surprise when he takes off his bed covers.
Prodigy, Lute
Day 4
Location: 1 and a half north of Renvall
Weather: Nice and warm.
Yet again, we're being forced to march to Renvall. I wish I had a horse because my feet really hurt. I went to our supply manager and managed to sneak on board of it. Problem solved! No more foot aches and having to soak my feet in a tub of hot water.
I'm just sitting here watching everyone complain about their foot aches. Here's a little scenario I heard.
Ross tries to trudge on the road using his axe as a walking stick.
"Huff… huff… huff… Dad! I don't think I can go on anymore! The burden is too heavy!" Ross clutches his other axe on his back that I assume is his "burden."
Garcia walks along side of his son who is also limping next to his son.
"Don't worry Mr. Son! We can keep going! I can't carry your axe- I mean, burden! But I can carry you!" Garcia Picks up Ross and hoists him over his shoulder.
"Ack! My spine!" exclaimed Ross as his father picked him up and placed him over his shoulder strongly.
Seth and Franz ride along side each other.
"But General Seth! My horse is tired! He's sweating to death!"
Franz's horse thinks, "Must…concentrate on road… must not collapse… Must not stare at Eirika's skirt that occasionally flies up when the wind blows revealing her pink panties…"
"Franz, it's just a horse. It doesn't have feelings. All it knows is eating, sleeping, running, and excreting its wastes."
"But General! Horses do have feelings! They dream in their sleep like humans and dogs! And your horse is tired too! Look at him!"
Seth's horse thinks, "Must concentrate on road… must not concentrate on my hoof blisters… must not concentrate on staring at Eirika's skirt that flies up from time to time when the wind passes by, exposing her tight pink panties…"
Seth looked down at his horse then back at Franz.
"Erm… No problem! I'll just use this horse-whip! I just whip my horse and it goes faster!"
"Really General Seth? Cool!"
Seth tosses Franz a whip and then both started whipping their horses making them go slightly faster in very much pain."
Artur strides next to Eirika and starts complaining about stuff.
"But Princess Eirika! We have to rest now!"
"Artur, I said we'll rest at nightfall."
"But why at night? There's wild animals at night time!"
"Artur, we'll have someone keep watch. Someone can chase them away if they come near us."
"But Princess! What if they're too dangerous? What about the wild dingoes!"
"Artur. Deal with it!"
A small group forms and starts ranting.
"We want rest!"
Eirika stops her conversation and turns to them. "No! Not until we're within a league of Renvall!"
"We want rest! We want beds! We want to use the internet and make some near naked punk bitches suck it down!"
"No! No rest or pornography!"
"Booooooo!" The little cliché started tossing random garbage/debris/rocks at Eirika.
Eirka subsided and turned to them again.
"Okay fine! You can rest!"
"Yaaaaaay!"
Joshua brings up a laptop, "I got pornography!"
Most of the males except Paul, Moulder, and Artur cheer and rush over to Joshua.
Ross lifts his head from Garcia's shoulder.
"Dad! Can I go? Can I? Can I? Please! Please!"
"No son! Your not old enough yet! But I am!" Garcia drops Ross on the ground and rushes over to Joshua.
"Agh my spine!" howled Ross.
Yeah… That was basically today. Artur and Paul climbed onto the supply manager cart with me and we all watched as Joshua and most of the men crowd around the "laptop." Some of the women started slapping the men. It was sort of funny watching most of the men being slapped continuously as they watched the videos on this laptop. There isn't much happening today except that which I wrote above. I guess I'm going to stop here.
Prodigy, Lute
Day 5
Location: Three Leagues from Renvall
Weather: It's Night and it's cold.
It's night time now and I got guard duty with Colm. Actually Colm and me are taking turns. He's playing this "role-playing" game called "Dungeons and Dragons" with Ross, Franz, and Artur. I keep hearing them yell odd things that I don't understand.
Apparently in this game you can make a choice on what you want to do in a "dungeon." Here's what I can hear from outside the tent
I sit in front of a fire with the Dungeons and Dragon tent behind me.
Colm starts talking on a mysterious voice, "The stench of decay is present in this lair of undead. Weird symbols are carved into the wall as you walk by. Suddenly, undead emerge from the ground and make sounds at you! What do you guys do?"
Artur (Coward) replies, "I leap into my portable hole and only return to claim my share of the treasure!"
Ross (Opportunist) answers, "I betray my companions and attack them! Hoping that I can have favor with the undead king!"
Franz (Dram Refugee) says, "I take my lute and play something soothing. Something like the Undead Top 40."
Colm memorizes the answers then says, "Franz plays an undead song from the Undead Top 40 on his lute, increasing the lust for blood of the undead creatures."
Franz panics, "No! They were supposed to disco or something!"
Ross interrupts, "And since I betrayed you guys I attack Franz with my warhammer!"
Colm then states, "Your blow kills Franz as it makes contact with him! But your plan failed! As the undead do not care if you want to betray your team! They cannibalize on Franz's body, gaining more strength and then attack you with their claws! Doing severe damage. You slowly lose your strength from the poison and you fall!"
Ross, "Aw flux!"
Artur, "Now I return from my portable hole to get the riches and escape!"
Colm, "Yeah. But then the undead take the treasure and start eating it!"
Artur, "No! My guy faints because of the money that's being taken!"
Colm, "Yes! And now the undead feast on your unconscious corpse!"
Artur, "Nooo!"
I knock on the flap and look in seeing all four of them except Colm dressed up in capes and stuff.
"Erm… Colm? It's your time for guard duty."
Franz, "No without a dungeon master we cant play!"
Ross, "And we don't know how to be dungeon master!"
Me, "Well that's just too bad."
Artur, "Awww…"
I blink and look at Artur, "Artur? What are you doing here? I thought you weren't into this kind of stuff."
"Erm… role-playing?"
"Sigh. Whatever. Let's just go and leave these nerds."
I'm heading to my tent now to get some sleep. I've already been on guard duty long enough today. I hope they don't play Dungeons and Dragons again. It's sort of creepy listening to them. This looks like a page to me so I guess this should be enough for today.
Prodigy, Lute
So readers how do you like the new version? I hope you enjoyed this one better than the last one. Sorry about that version. Remember to leave a review!