The words I can't say
By: Datenma
Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own Golden Sun but you should have known that already
Warning: Yaoi if you don't know what that is, or don't like you, you probably should not be reading this.
Note: I'm not into PWP so this is going to have plot and lots of it. I was in an odd mood when I thought this up and still am so this is going to be as angst filled and romance filled as I can get it. Though if you know anything about me, you know where this is headed already. The rating is just to be safe because I don't know how wild I'm going to get while writing this. It's both for language and yaoi action. Japanese names used because I like them more and I've gotten used to them.
This is dedicated to the lovely Midnyte Wolf because I promised and you're totally awesome, plus I like writing stories for other people, it gives me purpose.
Read and review please! This took me longer than I thought and I'm not exactly sure if I'm too pleased with it. I'll poke at it with a stick later and see if I can make it better.
Chapter 1I close the door to my locker before grabbing my regular shoes from the bench behind me and starting for the door. Before I can walk through the door, though, someone grabs my elbow and I whirl around, expecting a fight, only finding my cousin, Susa standing there. "You're going to his place again, aren't you?"
I let out a relieved sigh and shake my head, smiling at him with a mixture of disdain and disbelief, "You still don't like Robin, do you? We've been dating for nearly three years now, Susa, why can't you just accept the fact that Robin plays a very important role in my life now." He huffs angrily at this.
"Look, I'm just worried about you. You spend far too much time over at his apartment…what do the two of you do all day long?" I blush at the comment and turn my head, waving to some of my friends from my homeroom class.
"I'm eighteen now, Susa, I can do whatever I want. Besides…Robin isn't like that, he wouldn't try anything if I didn't think I was ready." I smile to myself. Robin Watanabe…we met through a mutual friend of ours around six years ago and we hit it off great but it was not until two years ago that we started going out. Not many people know about it since that sort of relationship is frowned upon even in Japan.
"Ivan…what does Hama think about this?" I shrug my shoulders.
"Hama is rarely around so…I'm not sure what she thinks but I don't need her approval, or yours, Susa. This is my life, he is my boyfriend and we've been going out far too long for anyone to try to break us up at this point." I slip my shoes on and sling my satchel over my shoulder. "Susa, what would you do if you were in my position? I really care about him…and you trying to persuade me to…start being cautious around him is like you saying that you don't trust me at all."
"It isn't that, I don't trust him—"
"You don't know him so you can't judge him so offhandedly, please think things through before you go running your mouth off like that." We hang in the middle of the doorway for a long moment, my eyes trained on the orange sky. "I'm going over to his apartment. He's probably waiting for me right now."
He sighs, realizing that there is no point in trying to make me listen to his 'words of advice', "Do you need a ride?" I turn and smile at him.
"No, his place is nearby, you better go home or your mom will start to worry about you." I wave to him and jog down the walkway, slowing when I get far enough from the school. I let out the breath I was holding and shake my head. I am just glad that he did not ask me about how Robin feels…because I do not even know that.
It is true that Robin and I have been dating for two years and that on occasion I stay at his place but we have never done anything, well, nothing too serious at least. He has never asked me too, which I am very grateful for. At the moment, I just want to concentrate on school and preparing for my entrance exams for college because I want to go to the same college as Robin.
Though I care for him deeply, there is still one thing that bothers me. …He has never once told me that he loves me, though I try to tell him it as often as possibly. Each time I tell him, he just leans forward and kisses me lightly. It isn't that I need to hear that he loves me but…I would just like to know where I place in his heart. Not that I am worried…as long as I can stay with him, I'll be happy. I think.
I use my key to open the door when I get to his apartment. At first I do not think he is there but as I walk into the living room, a pair of familiar arms wrap around me and pull me back. I let out a muffled yelp before he turns me around and smiles down at me. "That was rude of you, Ivan. You forgot to say something when you came in, right?"
"I'm home." He nods.
"Good boy. Welcome home." I look up at him expectantly and he laughs lightly. He removes his reading glasses and sets them down on the nearby counter before placing the palm of his hand on my cheek gently and leaning down over me. He kisses my lips gingerly and pushes my bag from my shoulder, leading me blindly into the living room. The back of my knees bump into the arm of the couch and I stumble backwards, breaking the kiss and unbalancing him. I land on the couch with a thud, my legs dangling off the edge of the arm. He falls forward, managing to catch himself at the last minute, his hands on either side of my head so that he does not land on top of me painfully. He lets out a relieved sigh and smiles at me, "That could have been interesting."
"And painful." I say, pushing myself up onto my elbows. He pulls back with slight difficulty and heads back into the entry hall.
"Do you want anything? Are you hungry?" I reposition myself so that I am sitting on the couch with my legs tucked under me and lean forward, grabbing the remote off the coffee table and turning the television on.
"I'm not really hungry right now…" He shows up again after I find something to watch and leans over the back of the couch, pressing the side of a cold soda can to my face. I swat his hand playfully as he comes around the side and sits down next to me. "Thanks." He makes a soft noise in the back of his throat as he slides his arm along the back of the couch behind me. I lean back, shifting my weight to the side so that I slowly fall onto his chest, shifting again until I find a comfortable position and curl my hand on his abdomen, smiling to myself.
An hour or so passes before either of us says something, only Robin shifting positions during this time. He props his legs up on the coffee table and rests the hand that was on the couch on my back, moving it up and down in soothingly slow motions. By the time he says does something more, I am on the verge of falling asleep. "Ivan, spring break is coming up soon…and I was thinking that we should go somewhere together this year." That easily got my attention and woke me up from my slight stupor.
"Traveling?" I feel him nod and I look up to see his face but he is looking away, though I can tell that he is blushing. It is hard to make Robin embarrassed but when he does get embarrassed, it is very endearing because I am the only one that gets to see that side of him.
"Yeah, my uncle owns a hot spring in Shizuoka and this year he is closing down for a little break but he said that he'll let me and a couple of friends come down for spring break if I wanted. I already asked Garcia and Picard and they're coming so if you're worried about being alone with you…" Robin takes even the slightest pause the wrong way.
"No, that's not it…I was just surprised that you would invite me." I smile quickly at him, "I'd love to go traveling with you." This is the perfect chance to be alone with him, just the two of us. I can forgive Picard and Garcia coming along too because those two will probably be too busy with each other to pay any attention to us.
The only problem now is telling Hama about my plans but she has been so wrapped up in her own life to worry about me, I am sure that I can get away with this.
TBCI think I've been influenced by yaoi manga a little too much recently XD I hope it's all right. I'm currently working on the second chapter so I hope I finish it soon.