Assassins

say0narabus: All flames about this story are welcome, about me though…

NOT TOLERATED. And I don't own the Naruto franchise.

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In a world where crime and money rule the world, most would consider killing the fastest way to make money. But alas, only 3 would ever be considered the best.

Uzumaki Naruto: If he had actually cared, no one would be dead. They say he should have died five times, even though he dosen't. He enjoys leaving his mark, explosions and bullet holes. This guy barges in with no regard for anyone but himself and the money. He has two P90 Submachine Guns, a 50 Cal. Sniper, an M4 with grenade launcher attached, M95 assault rifle, a MP5, Steyr Stg.77 AUG assault rifle, like five trillion frag grenades, and tear gas (for the heck of it).

So a world middleweight wrestling champ carrying over 50 lbs. of equipment goes barging in shooting everything he sees.

Haruno Sakura: Poison and explosives expert. In her world, there are two ways to kill someone, slowly or fast. I mean she will scare your nose up your own ass, seriously. On one of her previous missions, she disguised herself as a maid. The next day she had replaced the target's contact lenses with explosives, as soon as he had them on, boom. The poison part, she has invented a poison that will slowly eat away at your insides for five straight hours, the pain only rising and finally after the hours are done, you spontaneously combust, without the spontaneous part.

So yeah, this Kung Fu master can kill you over a hundred times without even touching you.

Uchiha Sasuke: Heck, few have heard his voice, but no one has lived to see his face. I can't write a lot about him except for his last mission, he erased all camera files, disabled all of the security systems, didn't kill a single person aside from the bank president, and stole five billion dollars (it was an international bank). Remember how I said Sakura would scare you, this guy entered the bank with only a knife through the ceiling. Whomever he had interrogated for information was left as an empty shell.

This Hapkido master could (and would if he had wanted to) steal your TV in broad daylight when you went to the bathroom during commercials.

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Naruto living in Vegas, Sakura in Tokyo, and Sasuke living in the thick of an African jungle, all received DVD's of their next hit.

Sakura got her DVD in a box. She put her ear to each side and opened up a small section of one side, removed the bomb, and took out the DVD. When she had played it, a shadowy figure popped up on her TV.

"Hello", said the figure, "you may not know who I am but I know who you are"

"Most likely some bureaucrat", Sakura said to herself.

"I propose a job offer with a reward of fifty trillion dollars."

"I'm listening."

"You have to kill two assassins, Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke," he said with their pictures appearing on the screen, "you may have heard of them."

"Who hasn't heard of the invincible man or the modern ninja?"

"They shall be at dock 19 next week in San Francisco at midnight, armed and dangerous."

"No shit."

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Naruto, when he had gotten his DVD, he let the thing blow right up in his face, with nothing wrong but a torn up t-shirt.

When he played the DVD, it played like the one Sakura got. In fact, there were no differences aside from the fact that the target names were different and the reactions to the figure and its words were little to no way similar.

"Hello, you may not know who I am, but I know who you are. I propose a job offer with a reward of fifty trillion dollars."

"DAMN!" shouted Naruto.

"You have to kill two assassins, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke. You may have heard of them."

"How the hell am I supposed to kill them?"

"They shall be in dock 19 next week in San Francisco at midnight, armed and dangerous."

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Now, some of you might be wondering what in the fucking world is Sasuke doing in a hut in Africa, well he likes to be alone.

Some random street peddler was most likely bribed to through the package through a window. "But how is he supposed to watch the DVD if he lives in a hut?" you might ask, well, if ya stop bitchin about it and keep on reading you'll find out.

Sasuke, finding the box, opened up his mat using a six-digit code he then jumped down onto a platform and threw the box into a small room with a window so he could see. When the automated cutters opened it up, it exploded, reveling a DVD, which he played on his 60-inch flat screen TV through his massage chair that then had glass of wine slowly pop up out of the armrest.

"Hello, you may not know who I am-"

"You're the current leader of the Triads in Los Angeles who got pretty ticked off when most of your higher ranking officers was killed because your rival gang hired myself and other assassins to kill them, the background and your voice gave it away," answered Sasuke.

"-but I know who you are. I propose a job offer with a reward of fifty trillion dollars."

"Uh-huh."

"I need you to kill two other assassins, Uzumaki Naruto and Haruno Sakura. You may have heard of them."

"Of course."

"They shall be in dock 19 next week in San Francisco at midnight. Armed and dangerous."

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SSF: So how'd ya like it, and if I don't get the enough reviews this thing goes off and "You can say hello to my little friend." Just kidding. And just run a Google search on the guns.