PROBIE
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"Hey Probie, do this."
"Hey Probie, over here."
"Hey Probie, go walk in front of me in case there's a mine."
It never stops. Day in, day out, Tony DiNozzo is there, swatting him on the head, calling him Probie. Stealing his lunch. It's just like being back in junior high and the bullies ganging up on him for being the smart kid in the class. Not that they needed to gang up on him, back then it would have only taken one kid to wipe the floor with Tim McGee. But that was before he got picked for the wrestling team in high school. And while it didn't stop the bullies from teasing him, at least they never laid a finger on him again. Not once they'd seen him wipe the floor with the opposition a few times.
McGee had thought that things would be different when he joined NCIS. He thought that here was a place where his intelligence would be something to be respected and not mocked. But that was before he met Special Agent Tony DiNozzo.
"Probie, do this." "Probie, over here." "Probie." "Probie." "Probie."
There were days when McGee just wanted to grab Tony and slam him to the ground and yell at him "DON'T CALL ME PROBIE!" Of course whenever McGee thought about doing something like that, his thoughts always seemed to wander into the realm of what else he could do with Tony once he'd have him held down on the floor. Such thoughts usually required him to take a cold shower and he tried to avoid having them while at work. But it wasn't easy, especially on the occasions when he caught a glimpse of Tony's body during their Close Quarters Combat training sessions with Gibbs.
And he knows that Tony is well aware of how good his body is. The guy could brag for his country what with all the talking he does about his dates. Except that McGee has heard it all before. Not the specifics but when people talk as much about sex as Tony does, he knows that in a lot of cases they're what his Granny used to call "All mouth and no trousers". Whereas McGee himself would be a case of "still waters running deep". He doesn't like to brag about such things, feeling that discretion is the better part of valor. But he knows for a fact that Abby was more than happy with the night they spent in her coffin. So much so that she called in sick the next day and insisted on spending the rest of the day there as well. But he's not one to brag and he asked Abby not to spread it round the office, so as far as Tony is concerned, McGee is just a wet behind the ears Probie who probably wouldn't know what to do with a woman if she stripped naked in front of him.
He knows what he'd do if Tony stripped naked in front of him.
And he certainly knows what he's going to do the next time that Tony calls him Probie.
"PROBIE!"
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The End