A/N: When I originally sat down to write this I just wanted to do a short script for The Killers song "Andy, You're a Star" so that way I could do a nice quick doujinshi, but the story had other plans for me. It possessed me and began to write itself into an ultra long one-shot that I later divided into chapters. Sakura is playing the role as the preppy girl. Erm, I really don't hate Sakura, and I usually hate people writing her this OOC, but it just sort of happened, and I'm sorta suck with it. So I guess you're kinda stuck with that too, which really sucks. Once again, I apologize.
If all works out well, there will be a new chapter every Monday. Please let me know what you think, reviews are redeemable for a replica of the glasses Naruto wears in this fanfic! And remember chickies, this contains SasuNaru shonen ai (♂♂). No like? No read. Of course, I'm not making any profit of this story, and if you assume an amateur like myself could, well, you're an idiot.
. . : M O N S T E R : . .
T h e F i r s t C h a p t e r
The Black-Mailer
A u t h o r e d B y : L i n W e s t
I knew it, you embarrassed yourself, again, Naruto. Why can't you keep your big mouth shut? Naruto had gotten the insane notion he could beat Kiba in football, and mind you Kiba is a scholarship-winning quarterback, Naruto is just a wanna-be punk. Kiba just laughed and told him if Naruto could beat him he'd let him go on a date with his girlfriend Sakura.
And so after school they met in the football field, accompanied by nearly the whole school. They then raced to see who could grab and score with the football first, naturally Kiba won. I almost wish Naruto had won, that way I wouldn't have to listen to Kiba brag for the next week.
Kiba begins to gloat, "You didn't have a chance anyway, Uzumaki, you couldn't catch me in a wheelchair."
"What was that, Kiba!"
He's going to get pummeled.
"Yeah, I do. You. Suck. Ass."
"You want to start something?"
"Start it, and I'll finish it, monster."
"Bastard!"
Here we go.
"Break it up, Kiba," A girl with dyed pink hair runs up to them. "You won, just stop before this gets ugly."
Oh God, someone give that girl a Nobel Peace Prize or something, she just stopped a fucking war.
"If he wants to fight, I'm going to fight him, Sakura."
"Then I won't be going to your little party tonight."
"He probably would've gone psycho on me or something, that would've been funny as hell," he looks at Sakura for a moment and notes her scowling face, "Fine, I'll stop, but only for you."
"That's what I thought."
"Fine, whatever." Naruto glances at Sakura then walks off.
Kiba snorts, "Look how he makes eyes at you, Sakura."
"Yeah, I know, right?"
Naruto returns to the bleachers to get his backpack, but the onlookers begin taunt him.
"You're a tough guy now huh?"
"Did you actually think you could win?"
"Why didn't you go psycho and beat him? Huh? Why not, monster?"
Naruto ignores them, and looks away.
Serves him right for being so cocky.
In just as little as a week, Naruto has become the complete scapegoat of Kiba and company, everywhere I see Naruto I see them tailing him. And Sakura, that stupid bitch, has been making a complete mockery of his crush on her, he has become the laughing stock of the whole female student body.
God, Sakura. Where do I begin? She started out all nice and sweet when we were freshmen, then boom! Over summer she grows these huge ass tits (my theory is she used Miracle Grow), befriends Ino, and suddenly she's sitting pretty on top of the social ladder (letting everyone get a good view of her panties, while she's at it). What makes it worse is I am the subject of her complete and utter devotion. In ninth she would just blush cutely when I was around and attempt to strike up a conversation.
I could deal with that.
Now, in front of Kiba, she will shamelessly whore herself at me with her low cut shirt and G-string hanging out every which way. It makes me really sad how nice people like her can just turn, like that, all for social status. And to think, she was always the smart one. But I'm rambling, and I have to get to my lunch table before I'm graced with another visit from her posse.
Oh God, yes, they have tuna salad sandwiches again today. The great Sasuke has such a soft spot for fish.
Before I go to sit down I see Naruto zooming past me, he's heading down the hallway. I wonder where he's going, but now that I think about it, I haven't seen him around during lunch lately. I pay for my sandwich and water and, stealthily, follow after him in hopes of gaining some interesting gossip.
People like him are meant to be used as stepping stones anyway.
I watch from the doorway while nibbling from my lovely tuna salad. Naruto puts down his brown lunch bag on the bleachers and begins to jog lapses around the gym. He's mumbling to himself and his ridiculously thick glasses are about to fly off of his head.
How boring, just training. I should just leave before he catches me, but my eyes return to him running around the gym and then my eyes meet his.
OH. SHIT.
"HEY! You! What're you doing here?" Naruto darts towards me.
I turn away, I'm going to have to lie my way out of this, "Just looking for the gym teachers, but I saw you running and didn't want to interrupt."
"Whatever," He colors and turns away, "Umm, would you mind not telling anyone about this?"
"About what?" I ask, being coy.
"You know," he mumbles, "Me training here."
"One condition."
"Name it."
"I want to know why you've been in here for the past week."
His eyes widen, "H-how did you-?"
"I just put two and two together, idiot. I saw you running here, so I figured that this is where you've been hanging out during lunch." I sigh, "It's not rocket science"
Naruto gives me a strange look, "You've noticed I was gone? I didn't think anyone would."
"If you don't tell me why, I'll assume this is to rechallenge Kiba and I'll go give him the heads up."
"Fine, fine," He tousles his blonde hair, "but don't tell anyone this either." He pauses, then starts again, "I want to try to join the football team."
"Trying to impress Sakura?" I snort.
"No, no! I stopped liking Sakura after she started hanging around with Ino."
"Then why did you challenge Kiba?"
"I just wanted to measure myself up to him, to see how good I was."
That came to me as a surprise, Naruto having ulterior motives?
"Hey, aren't you good at running?" Naruto asks.
"Yes." I'd say so, you're looking at mister twenty-two gold and counting, Uzumaki.
"You don't have to but," he looks away, embarrassed, and pushes up his glasses, "Think maybe you could help me out?"
"Sorry, I don't have the luxury of free time." He wants to be my friend now, this is bad. Very bad.
Naruto's eyes glaze over, "Look, I'm not asking you to be my friend or anything."
He hit the bull's eye, "That's not it." I'm the worst hypocrite in the world. A real pig. I want him to leave me alone and I mock him, but I don't want to upset him.
"Seriously, if you just help me, I'll just act like I don't know you."
"If I still say no?"
He grins evilly, "Then I'll act like you're my lover and attempt to jump you in the halls, and-"
Oh no...
"In the classroom, and-"
Merciful God.
"In the locker room."
"You wouldn't."
"I'll do it if I have to."
"Fine. I'll do it. But you don't know me, got it?"
"Yup." Naruto beams, "Thank you so much! So, meet me during lunch here, and I'm not letting you off the hook until I make the team."
"That's a long ways away," I grumble.
"I'm not that bad! Am I?"
"Hn." I really have the worst luck ever.
T o B e C o n t i n u e d . . .
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto