A Sirius Situation

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, his friends in arms, his enemies or anyone else from the books or the movies. Those rights belong to the JKR and the nice people at WB studios who make the motion pictures.

Chapter 1: Remus Regurgitates

Hurk

cough-cough

"Ugh, when will this end!" groaned a miserable Remus as he found himself, once again, worshiping the porcelain god.

For the past week and a half, if you'll excuse the pun, Remus had been as sick as a dog. He found himself throwing up at all hours of the day and night. Not to mention, the fact, that no matter how early he went to bed he didn't wake up until noon, when he wasn't throwing up he was eating whatever he could get his hands on and everything in the house smelled funny, including Molly and Arthur.

Yes, you read that correctly, Molly and Arthur. You see, ever since Sirius Black's untimely demise Remus was terribly depressed. After the funeral, Lupin returned to his flat where he stayed for three weeks, in misery, before anyone formally came calling. Unfortunately for the werewolf, it was his old schoolmate, Snape.

Now don't get me wrong, Molly had wanted to go over to Lupin's flat to check up on him-an exponential amount times-but Arthur was, for once, able to keep his wife at bay by saying "Merlin, Molly! The man is grieving, give him some time alone!" However, the temporarily contained Mrs. Weasley would not be deterred and recruited Tonks to take over a plate of food everyday. Although Tonks, not wanting to intrude on Remus' solitude, just left the covered meals outside the door after knocking, then she would walk away - a drop and run, if you will.

In the beginning, when Tonks returned the next day the dish she had left the night before would be sitting outside the door completely empty and washed, but by the tail end of the second week Remus was only taking the food in every other day. When Snape arrived, at the end of the third week, Remus had completely stopped taking the food in all together.

The only reason Snape had shown up was to drop off the wolfsbane potion. Let's take a look, shall we?

The snarky potions professor had arrived promptly outside the werewolf's humble abode at 5:30 pm, knocked twice and waited for a response. When he received none, Snape proceeded to knock a little harder, accidentally jostling the door open in the process. It swung open slowly and soundlessly to reveal an extremely small sitting area/kitchenette.

"Lupin…" Snape called softly as he walked through the supposed living room that contained only a battered plaid couch.

"Here boy," Severus tried again as he walked through the kitchenette, which consisted of a refrigerator, a stove and a sink against a half wall. Diagonal from the refrigerator was a severely scratched up, small, square table shoved in a corner with two muggle folding chairs pushed in under it.

Snape pressed on, taking a right into the bedroom, which was small to begin with, but with the king size bed against wall opposite the kitchen there was hardly two feet of clearance around all three sides of the bed that were exposed. Remus was barley visible under the comforter with his face in a pillow.

"Gods Lupin," Snape cursed under his breath, "it's been nearly a month, surely you're not still mourning over that mutt!"

It was at this point that the lump in the comforter began to shake slightly and sob softly.

Snape rolled his eyes and withdrew a few shrunken bottles of potion form his pocket, restored them to regular size and placed them on the floor next to the foot of the bed, "Here. You'd best take it soon. There should be enough to get you through the full moon. When it's over I'll come back for the bottles, as the moon begins to wane."

"Just go away," said Remus hoarsely between choked sobs.

"Fine, fine, have it your way," seceded Snape pinching the bridge of his nose, "I'll ward the rooms and the front door before I leave."

A few days later Snape returned and found the werewolf exactly as he left him: face down in a pillow and under the comforter. The bottles of wolf's bane potion still sat at the foot of the bed with their seals unbroken. It was strange however, there was no physical proof of Lupin's transformation: no shredded pillows or sheets, no claw marks on the wall. Hell, there weren't even any teeth marks in sight!

Snape just chalked it up to Moony being depressed as well as Remus and proceeded to pull back the comforter to heal Lupin's wounds as Dumbledore had instructed him to do. Only when he peeled back the covers he saw a sight that made him gasp. Rather than cuts and bruises Snape found himself staring at an emaciated werewolf. All of Lupin's ribs were visible, it was the thinnest Severus had ever seen Remus.

"FUCKING MERLIN!" exclaimed Snape as he pulled Remus out of bed and transported him to 12 Grimuld as fast as he could. There was no point in taking him to Hogwarts because Poppy was off at a Medi-witch conference and St. Mungo's had strict policies about the admittance of Dark Creatures, which generally resulted in hours of paper work before they would even consider sending a doctor to check Remus over.

The portkey took them from Remus' apartment to the front stoop of 12 Grimuld Place where Snape nearly blew the front door off its hinges, waking the painting of Sirius' mother up!

"Oh, sod off you stupid bint!" Severus swore at the painting, which merely continued its ravings, "MOLLY, ARTHUR, COME QUICK!" The Potion's Master bellowed over the painting.

Tea cups could be heard falling and smashing on the kitchen floor as rapid footsteps came up the hall.

"Oh sweet Merlin!" shouted Molly when she saw the state of Remus.

"Severus what happened!" demanded a distraught Minerva coming into the foyer on Molly's heels.

Out of the corner of his eye Snape could see Mad Eye Moody shutting the painting's curtains, "Snape, you've got some explaining to do!"

"Later Moody," scolded Arthur brining up the rear as he came in after Minerva, "let's just get him upstairs!"

Half an hour later after Remus had been given a quick once over by a medi-wizard Moody had been able to flag down in record time he was left in the care of Molly, while Snape faced an interrogation by Moody, Minerva and Arthur. Needless to say Snape was not in a good mood by the time he got back to school.

----

Snape was not looking to returning to Hogwarts. I know it seems odd, but you're just going to have to trust me on this one. You see, ever since Draco's first year, Narcissa had taken it upon herself to find a companion for the Potion's Master, to the point that every Sunday night, Snape dined at Malfoy manner with Lucius and Narcissa and whatever heiress she could find. A bunch of air heads after the Snape fortune, lands, estates and the "family jewels" as far as Severus was concerned. All of them dressed to the proverbial nines and were entirely overdone in the way of glamour charms.

Poor Snape (not a phrase you read very often), he would then be subjected to hours of incessant prattle as he sat through a five course meal. Narcissa would nothing short of interview each girl, grilling her about her heritage, breeding, power, wealth and fertility…yes, it was that degrading. Luckily, for Snape by the time dessert was being served he always had the excuse that he had to teach the next day and was unable to stay any longer.

Long about Draco's third year, Narcissa decided to expand the playing field. Then not only the heiresses were coming to dinner, but their brothers too! At first Severus was amused, but after he wound up with an unwanted foot in his croch, under the table, his good humor quickly faded.

Now these dinners had become nothing more than a chore to endure. All Severus could do was try to get comfortable for the next couple of hours. On the bright side, he could plan out his next submission to Potions Monthly.

However his thoughts were interrupted by Lucius halfway through the third course when Narcissa kicked her husband in the shin under the table, "Severus, is everything alright?"

"Yes, of course. Why?" asked Snape.

"You just seem distant is all," said Lucius, "Something on your mind?"

"Nothing of great weight," responded Snape.

Little did the Potions' Master know of the conversation between the Malfoys later that night in Lucius' room (Yes, Lucius' room. You see the Malfoys were very old fashioned in the sense that even though they were married they retained separate rooms. Well, that and Narcissa really had no desire to know what Lucius did with his spare time in a bedroom. And now that we've resolved that we can resume the story). After many acts that are considered illegal by many muggle governments and most likely the Ministry of Magic, the Lord and Lady of the manor lay staring up at the ceiling.

Narcissa looked over at her husband, whose eyes were shut and whose breathing had begun to slow and even out, "Lucius?"

Damn, he knew this was coming. Lucius could count on one hand the number of times his wife had taken him up on an invitation back to his room after Sunday dinner since Draco was born. And every time she had it was because she wanted to discuss something. And every time she had to wait until after they had just finished, when he was half asleep and none of the blood was in his head.

"Hmm?" Lucius lazily looked over at his wife, "Are you still here?"

SWAT!

"What!" snapped Lucius, who only wanted to sleep at this point.

"He was acting very odd earlier." Narcissa reasoned conspiratorially, "He's seeing someone. I just know it!"

"Who?" asked Lucius.

"Severus!"

Lucius sighed, "If I promise to look into it, can I sleep now?"

"Yes," said Narcissa getting up from the bed and heading back to her room.

That was another thing. Narcissa never stuck around afterward, ever. Not that Lucius minded, she was, after all, a very independent woman, but all the same it struck him as odd. To date, he had never seen her rooms.

---

Molly spent the next two weeks nursing Remus back to health. In the beginning she nearly had to force feed him, but by the third week she was quite pleased to notice an adequate increase in Lupin's apatite.

The forth week Snape came by with the wolf's bane potion, sealed Remus in his room, and cast a spell on the bed to ensure the werewolf would sleep through the transformation. But, once again, when Severus returned to release Lupin from the confines of the room he found the potion untouched, Remus asleep in bed and no damage, what so ever, done to the room. This time Snape chalked it up to the spell he had cast on the bed.

However, it was after this full moon that Remus' vomiting began and after a week of thinking it was a stomach bug Molly finally began to nag Remus about going to see Poppy. Which brings us to the present:

The meeting of the Order had just let out and everyone was heading to the dining room, when Remus stopped short in the hall upon receiving a whiff of food. He visibly paled and leaned against the wall for stability, while trying to override his gag reflex.

And Arthur coming up behind him and slapping on the back didn't help. Rather it resulted in forcing Remus to make a mad dash for the loo, launching Tonks into Fred and George, who in turn fell onto Mad Eye Moody. Needless to say, they all lost their balance and wound up in a heap before Minerva's feet with George and Tonks ending up in a rather inappropriate position.

"Why Tonks this is so sudden," commented George as his hand found its way to an improper place.

Tonks smiled sweetly for a moment then…

SLAP!

She left a red hand print on the side of George's face (Eh, look at the bright side, at least they'll be able to tell the twins apart-for a little while).

Meanwhile Snape was preparing to leave via the fireplace in the sitting room when Molly walked in.

"Oh, Severus, there you are," she said walking into the room as he had just taken a handful of flu powder.

Severus groaned inwardly. He did not need this right now!

"I was wondering if…" Molly began.

Snape held up his hand, "Save your breath, you know I never stay for dinner."

"Oh, honestly!" exclaimed Molly incredulously, "I wanted to know if you had seen Remus."

"Why would I have seen the werewolf?" asked Snape sneering.

"Well, Ron said you restock the medical wing on Tuesdays." Molly explained.

"Everyone knows that." said Snape pinching the bridge of his nose. He was quickly becoming tired of the conversation.

"From what I understand it takes the better part of the afternoon and I was just curious if you had seen Remus when he went in to see Poppy."

"No one came to see Poppy all afternoon, except a first year Hufflepuff, who cracked a rib in a flying accident. Other than her, Poppy was in her office all afternoon."

"I see," said Molly whose eye had begun to twitch slightly, "Thank you, Severus."

She turned and walked to the threshold of the room before she bellowed, "REMUS JOHN LUPIN, YOU ARE IN A WORLD OF TROUBLE WHEN I FIND YOU!"

Needless to say everyone in the dining room froze. They all knew Remus was in for it now, considering the tone Molly had just used was normally reserved for when the twins went on a rampage.

Unfortunately for Remus all Molly had to do was follow the retching up to the loo on the second floor. She reached the bathroom with Severus in tow, because let's face it if there was going to be marauder blood shed, there was no way in hell he was going to miss it. Mrs. Weasley threw the door open to find a very weak Remus steadying himself against the sink.

"Remus, I thought I told you to go see Poppy!" scolded Molly with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot.

"I-I'm (hard swallow) fine" Lupin choked out.

"You most certainly are not! So help me if you don't head straight for the fireplace I will stupefy and mobilicorpus you to Poppy myself." said Molly reaching for her wand.

"GGGGGRRRRRRR!"

Molly froze in the midst of removing her wand from her pocket, "Are you growling at me?"

Severus took this opportunity to get between Molly and Remus, "Molly, slowly back away and go downstairs, his eyes are starting to lighten."

"I-He's never-what's wrong with…" Molly stammered.

"Merlin's balls, woman, run!"

Without another word Molly tuned tail ran downstairs.

Snape turned back to Remus, "Moony, you have to understand I mean you no harm. There's something wrong with Lup-er-Remus. He's very weak. I know you can feel it. Let me take you to Poppy. You remember Poppy, she took care of Remus at Hogwarts, yes?"

Snape waited for a response.

There was a pause before Remus winced in pain and Moony whimpered.

"Yes, then?"

Moony made Remus nod and Snape helped them downstairs, where everyone had congregated at the bottom of the stairs. Fortunately, Dumbledore made them clear a path to the sitting room, when Remus started growling again.

"Severus, make sure Poppy sees him straight away and don't worry about your Hogsmeade duty, I'll find someone else to cover it." said Albus.

Snape nodded, while grabbing a handful of flu powder, "Hogwarts, Poppy's Office."