Title:Greatest of the Hogwarts Four'
Author: Saddest Sadist
Pairings: None Yet
Warnings: Language, violence, and all that good stuff.
Disclaimer: I hereby lay no claims upon any original Harry Potter characters/plots.

Summary: AU Harry Potter have always had two sets of memories, one as Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, and one more, as Salazar Slytherin, the Greatest of Hogwarts' Four. What will happen, when this reincarnation of a Founder returns to Hogwarts?

Legend:
'Thoughts'
Parseltongue
"speech"

Chapter Two

It was Harry, or Salazar's longest punishment yet. By the time he got out, the school term was already over, and Harry had missed all his exams, and no doubt had failed all his subjects, but that doesn't matter much in his relatives' minds.

On that particular day when he was let out, Dudley and Petunia were off picking up Dudley's Smeltings uniform, and Vernon was just about to head off to work.

"Out, out now, boy, now!"

Harry got out. Vernon looked at the young boy expectantly.

"Good, now that you've got your lazy ass out of that cupboard, your chores are on the table! Finish it all, or no dinner tonight!"

"Yes sir."

Vernon left. Harry snorted.

"Bloody bastards…"

But nevertheless, he did his chores, treating them as physical exercises. He cleaned and dusted and washed and mobbed, before taking a break, then starting again.

When Harry got to vacuuming the carpet in front of door, he found something interesting. A small triangle of a letter stuck out from beneath that carpet. Without thinking, he stooped down and plucked up the letter. The Dursleys must have missed taking it in this morning.

Mr. H. Potter

The Cupboard under the stairs

4 Privet Drive

Little Whinging

Surrey

A letter to him! Harry's eyes widened. For the last ten years, there had never been a letter addressed to him! Harry flipped the letter over. He looked at the insignia. Could it be? Hogwarts?

HOGWARTS SCHOOL

Of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE

(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, and International Confed. Of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Potter,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.

Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress

His heart sang. The school is still there! And he's going to go back to Hogwarts! Harry's eyes scanned over the letter again, a wistful smile tagging at his lips. Yes. This was what he's been waiting for. They awaited his owl… he doesn't have an owl yet, but if things were as they were during Salazar's days, the staff would send someone to check on him.

Harry looked over the other pages of the letter. Quite a bit had changed in these few millenniums. Still with a grin on his face, he folded the letter, and slipped it into his cupboard, the one place none of the Dursleys would never, ever look.

The day passed in a flurry, and Harry barely noticed what happened. His heart was in the letter, and the prospects of going back to his school. If the Dursleys had noticed this state of his, they never mentioned it.

Days passed, and became weeks. Things settled into routine once again. Harry woke up, ran a couple of laps around the block, showered, did chores, lunch, more chores, supper, followed by another run, before showering again and heading to bed. The only thing that interrupted this routine was another letter from Hogwarts, stating that a teacher would come to meet him on August the 3rdth, to explain some things, and to help him pick up his supplies. That letter once again sent Harry off to La-La-Land. The Dursleys, not knowing that their 'resident freak' had contacted others of his kind, acted as they've always had. Before long, the Big Day came…

---

It was a weekend, and Harry Potter was washing the dishes, wearing a stained apron. The Dursley family was lounged in the living room's couches, sipping on lemonade and watching the telly. This happy family obviously expected an afternoon of rest and relaxation, but the one thing they definitely did not expect was something that sounded like an explosion outside their door.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

The noise came thrice, and the whole house seemed to shake. Dudley jumped straight off the couch, while Petunia held on to her dear life, clutching the sofa's armrest as hard as she could. Vernon fared the best, making his way to the door, holding on to the doorknob. In the kitchen, dishes were broken, and the muttered swearing of one Harry Potter could be heard.

Vernon, whose face was red as a tomato by now, slammed the door open. A vein in his face throbbed, and the temperature in the house seemed to have gone up a few degrees.

"Who's the blasted freaking lunatic banging on my frigging door?"

Facing him was two of the strangest people Vernon have ever seen thus far in his life. One was gigantic, and hairy, the other pale, swollen, yellow, thin.

"Ah! You mus' be Vernon Dursley! Pleas' ta meet ya!" The big and hairy one.

The smaller men gave the larger one look of scrutiny, before turning back to Vernon. "We're here for Mister Potter." He added a sneer at the mentioning of the name. "From Hogwarts."

Vernon's knees seemed to be buckling under their weight. His face went from red to white in mere seconds, and something felt stuck in his throat. All previous complaints were forgotten, and he gulped. With trembling hands, he opened the door, and wordlessly indicated the men to come in, before closing the door. Petunia, having seen the whole episode from the living room, widened her eyes in surprise, and pushed Dudley behind her.

The two newcomers introduced themselves as Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys from Hogwarts, and Professor Snape, Potions Master and Professor from Hogwarts. Dudley looked at them curiously, and twiddled his fingers in confusion, while his parents stood in front of him, pale and unsteady.

"We're here to collect one Mister Potter." Sneered Snape. "So don't waste our time, and get him out here now."

"H…he… he's in the kitchen!" Petunia.

"Gorging his face, no doubt." Snape muttered under his breath, before speaking to the family before him. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get him out here! Now!"

"Boy! Come out!" Vernon, this time, the quivering in his voice was clear.

Harry Potter smirked. He's been waiting for this day for a very long time, and was already ready to come out at any moment since his Uncle Vernon opened the door. He strode out, confidently, just as he used to do every single day those three thousand years ago…

"Yes, Uncle Vernon?"

"Mister Potter!" Hagrid immediately gripped his hand in a bear-like hold. "The las' time I saw ya, you were just a baby!" He looked Harry over. " You've got ya dad's looks, but you've got ya mother's eyes…"

"Hagrid, we're not here for idle chit-chat. Now, Mister Potter, do you have your things? I assume you know what Hogwarts is, and what you are? Good. It's time to go, then." Said Snape, condescendingly.

Harry just nodded, and decided that he didn't like this man called Snape. Did his parents never teach him any courtesy?

"Wait a minute, wait a minute here!" Vernon finally picked up what scraps of courage he could. "This boy is not going to that… that… that freak school of yours! I swore that when I took him in, I was going to stamp that thing out of him!"

Harry almost laughed out loud. Stamp the magic out of someone? What absurd ideas!

"How did you know that you were a wizard, anyways, boy?" It was Petunia this time, obviously inspired by Vernon's act of bravery.

"You… knew?" Harry Potter narrowed his eyes. So his relatives knew, didn't they? So they've always known that he's a wizard, didn't they? They thought they could just lie to Salazar Slytherin, didn't they? "YOU KNEW? Then why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you? Tell YOU? Of course we didn't tell you! You bloody freaks, the whole lot of you! You freaks of nature, you shouldn't have existed! Of course we knew that you were a wizard! How could you not be, with her being what she was, with my bloody sister being one of you, how could you not be? She used to be perfectly normal, before she went to that… that school of yours! Came back every summer and turned teacups into frogs! Then she went and married that good-for-nothing boy she met in that school, and got herself blown up! And WE LANDED UP WITH YOU!"

Nobody expected this outburst from Petunia, least of all Harry, and it seemed to have blown off some steam from him. Harry suddenly remembered why he hated muggles during his Salazar days… freaks of nature, huh? He let out a dry bark of laughter. "Blown up, huh? Didn't you used to say that they died in a car crash?"

"Car crash? What are ya talking 'bout? How can a car crash kill James and Lily?" Hagrid.

None of the Dursleys replied.

"We should be going now!" Barked Snape.

"Listen, you… you… you… people! I'm not paying some old crackpot for this boy to go off to learn bloody magic tricks!"

Hagrid's hands went to a pink umbrella by his side, but Snape stopped him, and glared at Vernon. "Then you'll be pleased to note that you won't be paying!" He turned towards Harry. "Now boy, go get what you need for the next year, and we're leaving!"

Harry nodded, and darted towards his cupboard, and grabbed an already-packed knap-sack, and his letter, and headed towards to door. Hagrid and Snape were already waiting for him, and as they were about to leave, Snape suddenly drew out his wand, and pointed it towards Dudley, before muttering something beneath his breath. A bang and lots of smoke later, Dudley sported a brand new tail, something that was normally not a part of the human anatomy. Petunia screamed, and Vernon gasped, while Dudley grasped his bottom in pain.

"A reminder," said Snape. "Next time, do not insult Dumbledore in front of me. And the boy will be back next summer."

And they left.