Too Sexy For a Shirt – 10
By: Clever Audrey
Disclaimer: Do not own, in any way shape or form.
Pairings: Orochimaru x ?
Warnings: Complete crack. Orochimaru. Greek mythology that I haven't read for a really long time.
AN:I have no excuse for either the lateness of this update, nor for the pairing. :) Enjoy!
She sighed and pulled her hood lower over her head, glancing around at the busy coffee shop for the fiftieth time. She hated blind dates, really. They had never turned out well – not once – and her sisters knew that, so why they kept on trying, she really didn't know….
Still, in spite of its business, it was a nice coffee. Lots of little nooks and corners like the one she was currently sitting in; low lighting in some areas, brighter lighting in others, and a charmingly eclectic mix of furniture styles for the various tables and chairs scattered about the room. The nook she had chosen was dimly lit (though not so much that it was hard to see) and had a small table and two low-backed chairs in a more classical style. It was a relaxing place to sit and surreptitiously watch the other patrons of the coffee shop while she waited for her date to show up.
Assuming he does show up, she thought sourly, watching a dark-haired man in a blue military uniform seat himself at one of the tables in the middle of the room, sipping his steaming coffee with a look of bliss and mostly ignoring the short, loud blond man in the red coat who was with him.
At the counter, a man with long red hair and a katana through his belt discussed what to order with his companion, a dark-haired woman in a pretty kimono. There was what appeared to be a transvestite in the corner, nursing a mug of something and protectively watching over a large, heavy-looking suitcase.
The bells over the door chimed, and she looked eagerly to see if it was her date. She withdrew with slight disappointment when it wasn't, but continued to watch the two men who came in, one in a full tuxedo, complete with top hat and a white mask, and a very effeminate-looking blond.
People-watching was not an activity that she had ever really been able to indulge in, so she was surprised to find how much it relieved her boredom and anxiety.
This is certainly an interesting place…I might have to come here again, even if this date doesn't work out-
Just then, a tall, male figure stepped in front of the alcove and blocked her line of sight. Startled, she moved back a little bit, then realized that this must be her date.
"I must apologize for my lateness," he said in a sibilant, husky voice.
"It's quite all right," she returned, just as politely, carefully keeping her face well under the hood and her eyes averted from his face as she rose. "I'm afraid I never did get your name…."
"Orochimaru," came his reply, along with an outstretched hand. Hesitant, she accepted the invitation, and was pleasantly surprised when he bowed over her hand. "Have you ordered anything yet…?"
"No, not yet," she knew it wasn't fair to keep her name back when he had given his, but it was all too likely that he would leave if he knew who she actually was. "Shall we?"
"Certainly." Still that lovely, sibilant quality in his voice. She desperately wanted to see what this man looked like! He was tall, she could tell, and thin. He wore sandals on his feet, and a long vest of pale yellow over dark pants and a silver-grey shirt. His hands were pale-skinned, and the ends of dark hair entered her line of vision where they fell over his shoulders and chest.
Falling a pace or two behind him as they made their way to the counter, she risked a quick glance up at the back of his head, her eyes meeting with a curtain of long, straight black hair. She sighed.
They gave their orders to the sour-looking waitress, then returned to the alcove she had picked out before, still not speaking.
"You have not given me your name, yet," he pointed out softly after a few moments had gone by.
She almost glanced up at him, but caught herself at the last moment, and nervously shrank further under her hood. Well, it's now or never, she thought, and replied quietly, "Medusa." The snakes coiled silent around her head let out soft whisper-hisses before stilling again at her silent behest.
"Medusa," Orochimaru repeated quietly, his voice snake-like itself. "It is a pretty name."
"Thank you," she was surprised. Either he truly did not know who she was, or did not care.
"Now that we have introductions out of the way, perhaps you would remove the cloak? You must be warm."
Sly bastard, she thought grimly, then almost chuckled. Well, he asked for it! Though I wish it didn't always have to end like this…. Slowly, she straightened, closing her eyes as she pushed off the hood, feeling the snakes uncoil gratefully.
Then, she opened her eyes.
To meet a pair of snake-pupiled, golden eyes that widened for a moment in surprise, then narrowed again in admiration...
…and did nothing that even remotely resembled turning into stone.
She was still gaping as he reached out a hand towards her, and smiled slightly when the snakes flicked their tongues at it then began curling around his wrist in approval.
"You- You shouldn't- I can't-"
"You are referring to the spell of your eyes, I presume?" He nodded knowingly and with no small dose of self-satisfaction. "There are ways of guarding against that sort of thing. I was…intrigued, when my acquaintance informed me of this opportunity, but decided that some precautions were best taken first. Having myself turned into a statue, while it would undoubtedly have been an interesting experience, would have made both this date and other things impossible."
"You- You found a way to counter the freezing spell?" Medusa asked, finally blinking and unconsciously leaning toward his hand, about which more and more of her snakes were attempting to twine themselves.
"Collecting all of the worlds spells has been a goal of mine for many years. It is nice to know that my efforts are proving fruitful." He smiled at her again, a very-snake-like smile that made her smile back. He was quite nice to look at indeed….
At that moment, the waitress appeared at their table with a very full tray balanced precariously on one hand…and managed to spill a hot mug of tea neatly over Orochimaru's shoulder and down the front of his shirt.
He hissed in pain and withdrew his hand quickly, rising and tearing off the vest and shirt. Medusa waved away the ineffectually and not-very-sincerely apologizing waitress and offered a corner of her cloak for the man to dry himself off with.
The now-shirtless man.
I must say, I've seen more nice things today than I've seen in centuries, she thought, not so surreptitiously admiring the new view. Orochimaru caught her gaze as he finished drying his pale-skinned but nicely muscled chest, and raised a thoughtful eyebrow at her.
It quickly turned into a suggestive smirk.
"Perhaps we could adjourn to a more…private setting?" He suggested smoothly, grimacing at his ruined clothes, but shaking out the vest and pulling it back on.
"I think that's an excellent idea," Medusa said, and the snakes hissed their agreement. Smirking in return, she pulled her cloak back on before accepting his hand and letting him lead the way amongst the crowded tables to the door.
A good day, indeed!
AN: And thus, it ends! I suppose this one requires a bit of explanation - I have absolutely no excuse for this pairing, except for the fact that I've seen a couple chibi fancomics of it that were far too cute for their own good. XD Other than that...no excuse.
As for the coffee shop...you'll be seeing more from us about the coffee shop eventually, I think, so watch our profile page if you're interested. Can anyone name all the other characters who were there? ;p
Thanks for reading!