Title: In the Gutter
Pairings: Sasu/Naru, Shino/Gaara, Kakashi/Iruka, Kakashi/Gai, Gaara/Hinata, Lee/Sakura, Neji/Lee, Neji/Tenten, Kiba/Shino, Shino/Hinata, Ino/Shikamaru
AN: As you should have noted above there are many, many pairings just about everyone out there or will be. No need to worry though, some/most of them are quite one-sided or just pretend to get closer to their desired object. Also if you have an allergic reaction to shounen ai then this story is not for you. Shounen ai is same sex relationship, so please no flames cause you didn't know what you were getting in to. Now this story is a SEQUAL to 'Down the Drains' so I highly suggest reading that one first, but if you don't then oh well, this story is meant to stand alone too. Now enough of my chatter onto the story.
Iruka and all of the former Team 7 stood by the bed of one Hatake Kakashi. He would soon be able to leave the hospital since the damage caused by the chidori and rasengan was almost gone. When he was first admitted into the hospital he heard he had almost died of drowning, yes drowning. It seems that Iruka was a very sad little ninja when he heard his beep was admitted to the hospital, thus the onslaught of tears that nearly drowned all medic nin and one damaged shinobi. Iruka wasn't allowed back to the hospital. When he finally regained consciousness, Gai was there to comfort him, by comfort he meant one of their great matches. When Kakashi won the match he then managed to snare Gai in one of his dastardly deeds.
"Gai, seeing as how I won that match, I would like a prize."
"A prize, my rival?"
Gai suddenly burst into tears, the image in his head was of himself bringing back some great thing that Kakashi wouldn't be able to get for himself and Kakashi then falling to his knees in praise and worship of Gai. Drool began to slowly fall from his mouth at the thought of Kakashi being so humble.
"Uh Gai, about my prize. I want you to read this book to me."
"A book? Very well then my rival I shall read this book to you because I am such a nice guy," thus he goes into his nice guy pose. The pose in his mind was the backdrop was a cliff and shining rays of light were coming down upon him. Kakashi seeing that Gai was out of it shook his head, his one visible eye crinkling in mischief. Five nosebleeds later and Gai was still reading.
"If you can bear this, my rival, so can I."
"Please Gai-sama, you must stop. You can't lose anymore blood," the medic nin pleaded.
"No, I can continue."
Gai began to read the page, then a small trickle of blood began to run and sweat began to appear on his brow. The medic nin groaned and a huge spurt of blood blasted Gai backwards.
"This is great. I wonder if I should ask him if he wants to demonstrate what's on the page."
"Kakashi-sama, please you must stop."
"Why? We shall be perverts together!"
While the medic nin pleaded and Gai bleeded Naruto was asking Tsunade for a mission he and Sasuke could do. Tsunade was adamantly refusing his request by saying they wouldn't complete the mission because they would be distracted.
"Get your mind out of the gutters, Baa-chan."
"Brat…"
A couple bashes in the head later and Naruto was still begging.
"Why did you automatically assume we would be doing XXXXX?"
"Because from records of past missions of you and Uchiha together, your minds are always in the gutter."
Naruto sighed and prepared himself for yet another round of pleading and arguing. Across town many minds were plotting on how to get the one they desire. In a darkened room a young woman plotted. She sat there clutching a picture to her chest thinking up plans to gain the object of her affections. She would think up plans then discard them before fully forming. Sighing she laid back against her pink pillow and gazed around her room. Pictures of Sasuke were everywhere, his darkness contrasted sharply against the otherwise pinkness of her room. She must discover how to get Sasuke to acknowledge her and how to get rid of Naruto. He could be the biggest threat to her plans of Sasuke domination. Maniacal laughter could be heard in her head as inner Sakura agreed.
:YOSH! We shall win Sasuke-kun: Inner Sakura screamed.
"HAI!" Sakura shouted in agreement.
"Sakura you'll be late to training if you don't come down now," Sakura's mother called up.
Sakura hurriedly put on her uniform and rushed downstairs. Maybe today Sasuke would go on a date with her, she thought as she rushed to where her team waited.
A young man sat on the ground sifting through grains of sand. The crazy grin on his face was scaring away the local wildlife, little bunnies were doing detours around him. Anyhow his name was Subaku No Gaara and he was trying to find a high quality sand to impress his blond kitsune. No job was to time-consuming or tedious if it was for his blond fox. Gaara began to glare at the ground as he thought of Naruto's usual companion, Uchiha. There must be some way to separate them, he reasoned. He would have his kitsune and from the feel of it Shukaku agreed with him completely.
"Maybe have Shukaku destroy him," he muttered then shook his head violently. No that wouldn't work, his kitsune would come to Uchiha's rescue.
"Maybe a girl," he said as he tried to think of who. Temari, no she had a silly crush on that Kiba person. The pale-eyed one, no she was a love rival, his eyes flamed a little at that thought. Yamanaka was with Shikamaru. The weapons girl was after that teammate of hers. Then his thoughts went to the pink-haired one. She was on their team and she had an obsession with Uchiha. Frowning at all the people who had obsessions he decided he was glad he didn't have one. After all him wanting to tie his kitsune to a bed and do XXXXX to him all night long wasn't an obsession, it was a fantasy and that made it different. Feeling the urge to see the blond one he pulled out his foot thick photo album labeled 'Kitsune' and began to leaf through it. Slowly he began to form a sand clone.
"Do not worry my blonde kitsune, I will rescue you from the foul Sharingan user Uchiha," he declared aloud.
After saying this he looked at the open plains around him. It was empty, even the cute little bunny rabbits that usually hop around going hoppity, hoppity, hop were gone. When he determined that no one was around he glomped the sand clone and then leaped back and let it dissolve. It was time to head the 65,899 miles back to Konoha now that he had special quality sand.
It was time, he had to employ every stealth technique he knew. If he was caught he would face a very painful and drawn-out death. Damn those Hyuuga they had those eyes that could see through everything. He discovered this while one day that Hyuuga brat had been peeping on his special student, it didn't matter that he had been peeping, err, watching said student himself. The brat had been watching his student through the wall. He would have stopped the brat, but hey you had to learn someway. If he had eyes like that he wouldn't have to resort to this. Slowly creeping forward he put his eye to the hole in the wall. Tsunade and Shizunes's voice sounded closer, suddenly both appeared and were heading towards the hot spring where they would take off their towels, he drooled at the thought.
"Naruto is requesting a special mission."
"Is that so Tsunade-sama?"
"Yeah."
"Will you give it to him?"
"He requested it for Uchiha and him."
"…"
"Yeah, that's what I thought to."
"You said no, right Tsunade-sama?" Shizune asked anxiously as she thought back to the last mission they had together and the report that followed it. She blushed as she thought back to the contents of the report. It had included everything they had done on the mission.
"No."
"…"
"Are you sure…it will be okay then, Tsunade-sama."
"Nope, but if he wants it so badly I'll make him beg for it first," as she said this she laughed. Both women were climbing into the spring. The contents of his next book was slowly coming to him. Any thoughts of protecting or worrying about his 'special' student were gone. He pulled out his notebook and began to write. Drool was running from his mouth, Tsunade had to be at least a D-cup. As he was going into his fantasy he suddenly realized there was no sound. The lack of sound could only mean one thing.
"Jiraiya," a voice growled from behind him.
The only sounds to be heard after was screams of pain and agony. Then as the screams slowed down a white haired man suddenly went flying through the air, courtesy of Tsunade airways. Tsunade hmphed and went back in to take her bath and talk to Shizune more.
His last attempt to kill him failed sadly enough. For some reason his bugs refused to near Naruto. His bugs had never done that before, all previous attempts to kill him failed too. When he slipped poison in Naruto's ramen he only got a stomach ache, when he attempted to blow him up Naruto only got singed and all of the other tries like push him off a cliff, have him attacked by a pack of rabid animals, drown him, impale him on spikes, hang him, attack him with Sasuke fanboys and fangirls, and a couple dozen other attempts all failed.
"Why? What makes him so impervious to all of my attacks?" Shino muttered to himself.
He had to get Hinata to not pay attention to that blonde idiot anymore. Kiba wasn't any help because he was mooning over someone. It wasn't fair that Hinata like Naruto. He was as good as Naruto, but no one knew because he was a proper shinobi unlike that blonde idiot. He reached up and pushed his glasses down. As he sat waiting for his team to arrive, he began to plot again.
In his kitchen Iruka bustled around preparing food for his special student. He turned around to gaze adoringly at the wall-size poster of his loveable Naruto-chan. All was going well for him except for one small thing that wouldn't quit bugging him. His little fox wasn't getting married. He grabbed one of his small pictures of Naruto and stared at it. Soon enough small tears began to go down his face, he almost got to plan a wedding. It didn't matter to him that it would have been between two men, oh no, not at all. He smiled a little at that, no he didn't have a problem with gays, seeing as how Kakashi was his beep. The doorbell rang. Iruka leapt to his feet to go embrace his 'special student, the door opened and in the doorway stood not Naruto, but Sasuke. His eyes bulged at the sight of the last Uchiha.
"Sasuke, where is my Naruto!"
He screamed with his demon head forming. He paused in his tirade to look at his demon head, he didn't know he had one, then went back to yelling. Sasuke didn't know he had one either so he pulled back in absolute horror.
"Where is my cute lil Naru-chan? I swear Sasuke if you have done perverted things to him, I will make you marry him."
After saying marry a look of absolute bliss appeared on his face. The demon head popped and a faraway gaze came to his eyes. He could imagine it already he would walk Naruto down the aisle to the lucky person to catch his little fox. As the daydream faded an evil glint slowly appeared in his eyes. He looked as Sasuke then at the wall-size poster. Sasuke felt fear like never before, even Itachi didn't scare him this much. Iruka grinned, Sasuke turned around to begin to run. Iruka grabbed his large, open collar and yanked him inside. The door shut.
Sasuke sat on the couch, twiddling his thumbs. Damn Uchiha dress code, damn Iruka, and damn you Naruto. This was all dobe's fault, thinking this he sent his patented Yuy, err, Uchiha Death Glare at the wall-size poster.
"So Sasuke, how are you," Iruka asked as he set a cup of tea in down in front of him.
"Fine."
"Good, good, and Naruto?"
"Fine."
Iruka stopped talking and sipped his tea. His eyes boring into Sasuke's as he gazed at him over his cup. Sasuke stared back, waiting for the real topic of the conversation to be brought up.
"So…"
"…"
"Will you marry Naruto?"
Sasuke's eye twitched once, twice, three times. Iruka waited patiently for an answer. He stared at Sasuke and Sasuke stared at him. One minute passed, five, ten, a half-an-hour, an hour, and still no answer. Iruka still sat patiently and Sasuke still stared at him. This would have continued for an undetermined time if not for a loud knock on the door. Sasuke quickly looked at the door.
"I must leave."
"But…but you haven't answered."
A loud pounding came from the door, whoever was out there was very persistent. More pounding noises came from the door and from the sounds of it the person was going to break down his door. Iruka hurriedly rushed to his door to open it. One person fell through the doorway, halfway through the motion of charging the door to break it down. In a crumpled mess on the floor lay one very disheveled ninja. Sasuke stared and slowly shook his head, an arrogant smirk gracing his features.
"Oi, dobe, your supposed to walk through the door, not fall through it."
"Sasuke, bastard!" Naruto shouted as he leapt to his feet in all of his righteous rage and anger aimed at one Uchiha Sasuke. A very lethal fight might have incurred if not for the one loud joyous shriek from Iruka and then him glomping Naruto in mid-leap. Sasuke's eye twitched at the display of affection in front of him, his hand curling into a fist in irritation. He was Uchiha Sasuke and no one ignored him, not even stupid teammates and psychotic teachers.
"What are you doing here, dobe?" Sasuke asked when the two finally noticed the mad glint in his eyes as he stared at them and calmed down.
"Coming to eat, why else?"
"Nothing, Iruka-sensei, thank you for the tea. Goodbye."
As Sasuke walked out, Naruto suddenly leapt to his feet. He had to tell Sasuke something before he forgot.
"Yo, bastard, wait up!"
"What dobe?"
"We got a mission together one week from now."
The sudden grin on Sasuke's face made all civilians, and sane people leap for cover. Naruto merely grinned back, since everyone knew he wasn't smart enough to run when the Uchiha grinned like that.
"How did you manage that?"
"Oh, I did a little of this and a little of that for the Old Hag and she agreed to it."
"In other words, you begged until she became annoyed enough to agree to anything to get rid of you."
"Bastard."
"Either way, give me more details later. Iruka probably wants to talk to you."
Saying that Sasuke walked away and Naruto went back to Iruka, where they shared a large meal of ramen at Ichiraku ramen stand and had a wonderful chat.
Gaara grinned, he was only a mile away from the entrance of Konoha, thus only a mile away from his kitsune's heart. He picked up the pace a little, if he rushed a little, he would make it in enough time to have a spar with his kitsune and then set his plan in motion. It was time to capture his fox and finally destroy Uchiha's influence upon Naruto. He cackled at the plan he had devised, and people called him insane, well when his plan was achieved they would be calling him a genius. After all, either way his plan ended he would win and Naruto would be his. He grinned again as he thought of what he would be doing after his plan was put in affect. Goodbye Uchiha, hello kitsune.
Okay this will be a story and not a one-shot. Since I have a lot of ideas for this and it is summertime it should be no worry about updating in the next three weeks. After that I'm going to Japan so sorry for keeping everyone waiting. This will be worked on. Also for anyone who is reading 'Yondaime's Legacy' it will be put on hold for the time being because I'm going to revamp it. Oh well ja ne.