Totally Screwed Transmutation

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. Duh.

Chapter 1 Pay Back Time

"Edward! Watch out!—"

POOF!

An hour before

"Now here's something interesting."

Roy Mustang looked up from the thick, dusty old Alchemy-opedia volume and shut it with a smile. He knew how to get back at Edward for causing him to make a fool out of himself the day before. He drew out sticks of chalk from his drawer, widened the smirk of his further, and went to prepare the TRAP for the young alchemist…

Edward was strolling back to the military building after a whole day… …of doing nothing. Yup. Nothing. Everything's back to normal – Al got his body back, no more homunculus running around (with exception of Envy – he escaped after the other homunculi were reduced to bits), and, he's finally getting taller (one still has to use a measuring tape to see a difference though), he's also Colonel for now (took up position after Roy becomes Fuhrer); basically it's time of peace. EXCEPT… Roy's day before wasn't really all that peaceful… Ed chuckled to himself as he revisited his thoughts of yesterday's pranks. All in all, it wasn't totally overboard, but he did make the Fuhrer mad. And besides, he was BORED. You see, even peace has its disadvantages…

'Better be on my guard in case he wants revenge…' Ed thought as he checked into the building. On his way to the Fuhrer's office, he met Lieutenant-cum-secretary Hawkeye and she saluted.

"Good day, Sir Elric."

"Good day. Is the Fuhrer in?"

"I don't think so; I saw him leave his office and never saw him walk back in. I'm not sure. You can go in and check if you like. Be careful though; he had this weird look on his face when he walked out."

Edward gave a nod. "I'll keep my eye open. Thank you, Hawkeye."

"Glad to be of service, Sir." She headed towards the Fuhrer's door.

Edward hesitated. He thought of going for a bite (he was hungry again) first before finding the Fuhrer. Besides… he didn't want to risk walking into a trap. He quietly hoped that Lieutenant Hawkeye would be fine.

… … In which, she was. Edward just turned at the point where she opened the door and had her first foot in when a hand covered her mouth and another dragged her in. She almost punched the fellow behind her but stopped when she saw who it was.

"..Sir! I didn't see you walk i—" The gloved hand moved up to cover her mouth again.

"Shush… I need your help on this…"

NOW

"Whoosh, I'm full." Edward patted his slightly bulging stomach. 'Hopefully that bastard of a Fuhrer ain't up to no good, I don't wanna throw up all of that I've eaten…"

He got up from his seat and left the canteen and made his way once again to the Fuhrer's office. Before he entered the room, though, he gave the area a thorough check. 'Hmm… Nope. No alchemy circles anywhere; not even on the door.' He grinned. And opened the door.

"Yo, Mustang. You in here? I sure under-estimated yo—" He was about to finish his sentence as he walked further in when he tripped onto something on the floor. The warning (from Riza) came… …how should I say… …came in ONE second too late.

"Edward! Watch out!—"

POOF!

Notes: Wow. I've finally posted a story for Full-Metal... In fact, this is the first time I've posted a story here! OLE! er-hem In any case, please read and review. I've got 2nd chapter written out but not typed out yet...