SEVEN

How To Be a Lady

"Nyo! Nyo! NYO!" Yumi called as she sped down the halls towards her room, anxious to tell her friend about her crush.

"NYO!" She called again, bursting into her room.

Nyo jumped up, dropping her fashion magazine on the floor, "What!"

"I'm in love!" Yumi said, a smile finding its way onto her lips.

Nyo raised an eyebrow, "What?" She pondered on the words that popped out of her friend's mouth for a few seconds, "Wait...What?"

Yumi sighed dreamily, fell down onto her bed and closed her eyes, "I'm in love, Nyo."

Nyo sat down beside her, "With who? Hakkai?"

Yumi sat up, a disgusted look on her face, "Pssh. No." She smiled, "With Gojyo."

Nyo stood up and grabbed her friend's shoulders, "NO! Yumi! Bad! That guy's no good! He's a womanizer!"

"Really?" She shrugged, Nyo's words passing through her ears, "Oh well."

"Wait. You've been here for what, two days and you're in love." Nyo sat down again, "Tell me, how can that be?"

Yumi showed Nyo her finger with the band-aid on it, "Because of this, Nyo, this band-aid."

Nyo crossed her arms and cocked her head to one side, "A band-aid, Yumi?" She rubbed her temples in frustration, "Let me get this straight. You fell in love with a guy you just met overa BAND-AID!"

Yumi backed away from Nyo and grabbed a pillow, "Mhhm. A band-aid." She sighed, "He was helping me look for an arrow I lost during Achery and I pricked my finger on some thorns and he gave me a band-aid."

"Yumi, Yumi, Yumi." Nyo shook her head, "Don't love him. Like I said before, he's no good for you. He's a womanizer. He's probably slept with all the maids in the castle at one point."

Yumi raised her eyebrow and grinned mischievously, "All themaids?"

Nyo glared at her, "No not all of them! I was trying to make a point!"

"I know, I was just joking." Yumi said, looking at the clock, "What time's dinner?"

"Five." Nyo answered, "It's only three-thirty, you don't need to get ready for another half-hour if you're even going."

"Oh I'm going. Gojyo said he'd see me at dinner, Nyo. I wouldn't wanna disappoint him."

"Yumi, it's not like it's a date or anything. Hakkai's going to be there. Hakkai. The guy you're supposed fall in love with."

"If only I could get rid of him." She rubbed her chin, "Then Gojyo and I could be alone."

Nyo sighed and opened her magazine again, "You're obsessed, Yumi."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yah-huh." Nyo said dully, flipping the page.

"Whatever." Yumi said, not willing to argue with her maid.

Nyo put down her magazine, "You wanna impress Gojyo, right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then we're going to have to teach you how to be a lady." Nyo said, grinning and showing Yumi a page in her magazine.

"How To Be a Lady." Yumi read the title from the magazine. She raised her eyebrow, "What're you thinking, Nyo?"

"Well, it says here that all men like a lady who's polite, civilized and quiet." Nyo said, "We just need to make you all of those things and Gojyo'll be yours."

Yumi put her hands on her hips, "Are you saying I'm not any of those!"

"That's exactly what I'm saying...well, you are civilized at least." Nyo smiled, "There, you just proved you're not quiet."

"Shut up!" Yumi said defensively.

"That's not very polite, is it Yumi?" Nyo smiled again and stood up.

"Then teach me how to be polite, Ms I-know-everything." Yumi said, scowling at Nyo.

"All right, then let's start." Nyo gestured for Yumi to stand up. Once Yumi had stood up, Nyo said, "Ask me to pass you something, Yumi."

"Hey, Nyo,give me the ketchup." Yumi said.

"No. That's horrible. Try saying it like this," Nyo cleared her throat, and said in a dainty voice "Excuse me, may you pass me the ketchup?"

Yumi frowned, "No, Nyo, that's horrible."

"Hey, if Gojyo likes it, who cares, right?"

"True." Yumi sighed and cleared her throat as well, "Excuse me, may you pass me the ketchup?"

Nyo clapped her hands together, eyes sparkling, "Yay! You got it!" She smiled and read some more of her magazine.

"Now, if Hakkai asks you to walk you to your room, what do you say?"

"You asshole! I can take myself to my room thank you very much!" She smiled triumphantly and, seeing Nyo's disappointed expression, she tried again, scowling, "Thank you, Hakkai, that would be lovely."

"There ya go, Yumi, you can be polite!" Nyo "whooped."

"Next question….please." Yumi said, sitting down and crossing her legs.

"If the food tastes really bad and one of the servants asks you if you want more, you say…?"

Yumi rubbed her chin, deep in thought, "No thank you, sir, I'm stuffed."

Nyo thought about Yumi's answer for a moment and said, "Hmmmm, that's great, but how about saying, "Thank you, sir, but I'm full from this delicious meal already.""

Yumi squealed, "I like that one, Nyo! You're a Polite Master!"

Nyo laughed, "I know, I know."

"Ooooooo, I can't wait for dinner so I can impress Gojyo!" Yumi said, clapping her hands together.

"Wait. We're not done yet, Yumi. We still need to teach you to be quiet." Nyo said.

Yumi sighed, "Damn."

"Ah! No swearing, Yumi! Polite girls don't swear!" Nyo slapped her on the hand.

Yumi pulled her hand away, glaring at her teacher/maid, "Hey! What was that for!"

"Each time you aren't polite or quiet, I slap you on the hand." Nyo informed her, slapping her on the hand again.

"Ouch! Nyo!" Yumi scowled at Nyo.

"No yelling!" Nyo told the princess.

"Sorry." Yumi said quietly.

"That's better. Now listen closely, Yumi. At dinner tonight, you will not do the following: yell, scream, glare, scowl, frown, shout, perform any form of violence against anything or anyone, throw a tantrum, whine, talk loudly, swear, burp, fart-"

"Ew. Why would I do that?" Yumi interrupted.

Nyo glared at her, "-interrupt anyone when they're speaking, laugh uncontrollably, slurp your soup, chew with your mouth open, wipe your mouth with anything BUT a napkin…and, I think that's all." Nyo smiled.

Yumi looked at Nyo, amazed, "How am I suppose to remember not to do all of that?"

"Write it on your hand?" Nyo suggested.

"Ink'll get everywhere, though." Yumi whined.

"No whining, Yumi." Nyo said, wagging her finger.

Yumi crossed her arms, "Pssh."

"No doing that either." Nyo added.

"What are we supposed to do about the remember-a-whole-bunch-of-things-in-a-small-amount-of-time problem?" Yumi said, a small amount of panic in her voice.

"Uh, wear a kimono and write everything on a fan?"

Yumi's eyes lit up and she hugged Nyo, "That's brilliant!" Yumi let go of her friend, "Now, will you please get me a kimono, Nyo, while I take a shower?"

Nyo smiled, "Sure, Ms Polite."

Authoress Notes: -wipes forehead- Phew. That was close. If I waited ONE more day, you guys wouldn't have to review. That was close. -sigh- Anyways, in my opinion, this chapter is so-so. I do like how Nyo's teaching Yumi. Yumi's a fast learner. -wink- -rubs chin- Is it just me, or is the chapter title just a little bit...wrong-sounding to you?

midori hakkai: Hey, thanks a lot. At least someone appreciates my GojyoxYumi idea. -scowl- Ha ha, joking, joking. JOKING! Gosh!

gorilaz: Don't worry, Gorilaz, it's still YumixHakkai. It's just...a little twist. And besides, it'snot like Gojyo likes Yumi...yet -wink-...o.0

demontrust: I think I've already said this to you on MSN or something, but, I'll say it again just for the heck of it. It's still YumixHakkai. Do NOT worry.

Anyways, see you in TWO weeks. Which, by my calculations, is December 5th, 2005. I think. -shifty eyes- So, hope you enjoy this chappie and goodbye. -bows- Oh yeah, before I forget, if I don't update in two weeks, I'll probably post why on my profile page, so check there anytime I'm behind schedule. BYE BYE!

P.S. Kosuke'll be in the next chap. :P He hasn't been in for awhile, has he? Oh, and tellwhich OCyou like the best (Nyo, Yumi or Kosuke.) in your review please!