Fight by saulalovin
A NCIS fan fiction
Pairing: Tony DiNozzo and Kate Todd
Summary: Fight fear, not fate.
Spoilers: Post-"Twilight". Kate is not dead, all right! I can't accept her death.
Disclaimer: If I had a nickel for every time I've repeated that NCIS and its characters do not belong to me, I'd have thirty cents.
Author's Note: I finally watched "Twilight", and this is more of my grief counseling. Let the pain out and all. By the way, this is kind of weird…it just sort of came out, and ended up like this, so… Read and review anyway. Thankies!
Time began to slow down.
He could see the bullet, inching its way to her head, getting closer and closer.
He watched, horrified. Why couldn't he stop it? He could reach out and push her out of the way…get in front of her…anything.
But he couldn't.
The bullet made contact with her delicate skin. Without hesitation it plowed in between her eyes and tore through her skin. He couldn't see it happening, but he knew it was pushing its way past the layers of skin and tissue, until it slowed down and stopped for good, no doubt piercing through her skull and maybe even inserting itself into her brain.
The force of the bullet pushed her down onto the concrete. Almost immediately blood began to seep out of the wound and the surrounding gray of the concrete began to stain with red. Her eyes, which he had seen widen as she registered the bullet coming at her, now stared blankly up at the sky, unseeing. Her brown hair spread out underneath her, soaking in her own blood.
With a start, he realized his face felt dotted with something warm. He raised his fingers to his face, swiped at one part, stared at his fingers, and screamed:
"KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE!"
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Tony DiNozzo sat up in bed, his heart pounding rapidly. His fingers shaking, he brought them up to his face and touched it cautiously. He looked down at his fingers and rubbed them together as he let out a sigh of relief.
Sweat, not blood.
His, not hers.
He ran his fingers through his messy brown hair and let out another huge sigh.
It had been the third night in a row that he had had this nightmare. Tonight had been the most vivid – he was practically there. The nightmares of the previous nights had been fuzzy, vague even. He had forgotten what had really gone on in the dream when he had been jolted awake.
But not tonight. Tonight he could clearly tell you everything – from seeing the bullet to watching it tear through Kate's skin to her hitting the ground to the blood staining the concrete.
He could've sworn that the blood that had splattered onto his face had been real.
His throat was dry. Had he been screaming in his sleep? Had he been screaming her name?
Heart still pounding a little too fast for his liking, he untangled his sweaty body from the sheets and padded barefoot to the window, where moonlight streamed in, bathing everything in a pale blue light.
He had nightmares often, particularly after rough cases. They all did. It was part of the job, really. Gibbs, Kate, Ducky, McGee, Abby, Palmer… He had seen their deaths in his sleep.
Especially Kate's.
The dreams were never the same. Except this time. Tonight he had awakened knowing that this was the same nightmare as that of the past two nights.
Why?
He stopped, realizing he was at his front door and he was about to slip outside. Looking down at himself, he noticed that he had pulled on a pair of pants over his boxers and a shirt over his bare chest. He had put on his shoes and he was already wearing his jacket.
He had to see her now. Otherwise, he would stay up the whole night, worrying, refusing to fall back into slumber – back into his nightmares.
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A pissed off, sleepy-eyed and tousle-haired Kate Todd opened her front door angrily. "Dammit, DiNozzo, it's three in the – " She broke off at the look on his face. "Tony, are you all right?" A strange expression crossed her face, and she bit her lip. "Come on in," she said quietly.
He barely waited for her to close the door when he flung his arms around her.
"What - ?" both of them said at the same time.
He backed away from her, straight into the wall behind him. "No," he whispered hoarsely.
"You had a dream, didn't you?" she asked him, the strange look back on her face. "About me? About my death?"
"This can't be…" He looked like he was about to pass out.
"Tony, sit down," she said kindly.
He stared at his hands, and then back at her. "My arms… They went right through you."
She swallowed hard, tears filling her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Tony. I'm so sorry." She made her way to him and tried to lay a hand on his face, flinching as he pulled away before she could touch him.
"You can't be dead, Katie," he said, a tear slipping down his cheek. "It was just a dream, you can't…"
"It was my time to go," she said by way of explanation.
He shook his head vigorously. "No, you're young, you had your whole life ahead of you – work, a husband, kids…"
Her heart was breaking, seeing him like this. But he had to accept this…he had to understand.
"Tony, I'M DEAD!" she finally screamed. "I'm not here, I'm just a figment of your imagination. A ghost, if you want to call it that. But the point is, I'm not alive anymore. Please, I need you to come to terms with that. Please."
"You're still here," he insisted. "You're right in front of me. Why aren't you in the afterlife, or whatever the hell's after death?"
"I'm here because you keep calling me back to you."
"I haven't, because you're not dead!" he insisted.
She just fixed a sad gaze on him. "I'm so, so sorry, Tony."
He looked away, and when he finally turned back, more tears were running down his cheek. "You're really gone, aren't you?" he asked in a small voice, looking and sounding very much like a little boy.
She gave a small nod.
Chest heaving, he made his way towards her and did his best to caress her cheek. "I have so much I haven't told you, Kate."
"I know," she whispered. "I know, Tony. Me, too."
"I love you," he said, swallowing hard. "I mean, all those teasing and insults… I-I didn't mean them, and – "
" - I love you too," she replied, smiling. "I know you didn't mean them."
They stared at each other for a while, until finally she spoke. "Let me go, Tony. Please."
"I will. I am."
"But promise me something first," she said. "Move on, okay? Be happy. Learn to live without me."
"I can't," he admitted. "I can't live without you, don't you understand that?"
"Tony, listen to me," she said, taking his hand. It felt like he had dunked it in a bucket of ice water. "You can. Do it…for me. All right?"
He stared at her for a long while, before giving a slight, almost imperceptible nod. "All right."
"I have to go now. Don't forget me, okay?" She gave him a watery smile. "If you do, I am so going to haunt you, DiNozzo."
He managed a small laugh in spite of himself. "Never, Kate."
She gave him a small smile. "I love you," she mouthed.
And then she was gone.
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He jerked awake, his cheeks wet with tears.
She was gone, really gone.
He wiped hastily at his cheeks and rolled over. His heart leapt to his throat as he saw a familiar-looking brown-haired woman sleeping soundly next to him.
Tentatively, he reached his hand out towards her.
Is this still a dream?
His fingers brushed against her soft flesh, and his stomach fluttered as she stirred and opened her eyes to look at him. She smiled at him.
"Tony."
"Kate?" he said incredulously.
"Who else?" she asked, laughing. "I swear, DiNozzo, if you were expecting some other woman…"
He couldn't help himself. He pressed his lips to hers and smiled into her mouth as he felt her kiss him back. He pulled away, breathing hard, caressing her cheek tenderly.
"I had a dream," he said, pulling her closer to him. He didn't want to let her go.
"My death." A statement, not a question.
"Yeah, and…" He exhaled heavily and told her everything he remembered – the dream within a dream, going over to her apartment and finding her there as a ghost of sorts, letting her go…
"I'm here," she reminded him. "I'm safe. We're happy." She gave him a gentle, loving kiss. "You okay?"
"Just…weirded out, I guess. I don't know."
"Come on," she said, sliding out of bed.
"Where?" he asked, bewildered.
She gave him a look, and he quickly got out of bed and followed her out of their bedroom.
He instantly knew where she was taking him. He pushed the door open and entered the room, his arm linked with Kate's.
A five-month-old baby girl lay in a bassinet in the middle of the room. Carefully, Tony picked her up and held her in his arms, gazingly adoringly down at her.
"She's beautiful," he said, looking up to smile at Kate. "Just like her mother."
She laughed and gave a shrug. "Yeah, well, you helped a little, I guess."
"It would kill me if anything happened to either of you," he said quietly, rubbing his daughter's tiny arm lightly.
"Hey," she said, laying a hand on his forearm, "fight fear, not fate."
He looked at her questioningly.
"We're all going to die one day," she explained. "Our jobs, Tony… They're dangerous. We're special agents. We can go any day. But if we just make the most of our lives… We'll be okay. And we are. Look at what we have, Tony. We have each other, and we have Angelina. We're as lucky as can be."
And they were.
THE END