Its my first fanfic in awhile so tell me if I should have even started back up again.

I dont own anything.(Just the fic.)

Ultimately

She knows that if she went back out with Ryan, he could protect her. Just like he did last time they dated. He would protect her even if they were just friends. He saved her in Tijuana, from loneliness (for awhile at least) and ultimately, from destruction. But then they broke up and just like that, she has sad, old Marissa again; alone. Friendship happened when came back from Chino.

But he just went to Miami at the wrong time. He couldn't protect her from Trey. If he couldn't, no one could have; right? What if everything was different? What if Ryan wasn't the one to have to protect her from everything? Maybe the whole Trey shit wouldn't have happened at all. After all, the only reason she actually spent time with Trey was because he was Ryan's brother. What if Alex was still the one to protect her?

The "what ifs" ran through her mind. What if they were still together and Ryan didn't get in the way as usual? What if she didn't have to be so selfish and take the easy, safe, and secure way by running back to Ryan? What if she didn't leave Alex? What if she didn't break her heart? 'Too much to handle.' She thinks to herself. Then more questions flow into her head.

If she took a chance with Alex, would she be happier? Alex really was the only one that completely understood her motives, her personality, and her actions. Ryan didn't. Alex understood how fragile she was. She knew how to handle her; tame her. She knew how to protect her. Maybe not with strength, or from other people like Trey, but honestly, how many times do you encounter that sort of situation? Alex could protect her like no one else. Alex protected Marissa from herself; from her actions and motives that Alex understood so well.

If she was still with Alex, she wouldn't have had to go through that hell called Trey because Ryan couldn't protect her. Ryan wouldn't have had to go and fight Trey or make him pay. They wouldn't have gotten into that fight. Ryan's life wouldn't have been in danger. And Marissa wouldn't have had to shot Trey if she just stayed with Alex.

If she knew that going back with Ryan meant more serious and complicated shit to go through than if she didn't break up with Alex, would she have done it anyway? If Ryan could have protected her in the first place, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Marissa wouldn't have to deal with the fact that she shot someone. And when it comes down it, she could blame Ryan for everything; for not protecting her. But it's her fault. She left Alex. That just might ultimately be the worst decision she has ever made; the decision that started all of this shit.

Shout out to me with a review. And Maybe I'll give you something better than this.

-Ej