It should not have happened. He should never have tried.
Kinch sank down onto his bunk, not being conscious of the others around him. Memories of the past hours played in his mind and again he felt so helpless, helpless like he had never felt before.
There´s no time for us
There´s no place for us
He banged his hand onto the table, trying to comfort himself with the pain that shot through his hand, trying to make that other feeling go away.
The allies are so close, why did he?
Kinch recalled the last few days. Nervous waiting. They had all been anxious as they heard how close the allies were to freeing them. Everybody had dreamed of home. Why didn´t they come?
We had all been dreaming of going home, but together, oh God, together.
What is that thing that builds our dreams
yet, slips away from us
He closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. He did not want the others to look at him this way.
I know you boys are sad as well, but I need to be alone now.
A pat on his shoulder made him jump and he banged his head on the bunk above him, as he shot upwards.
"Carter, you scared me."
Carters answer was barely a whisper. "Sorry, Kinch."
There's no chance for us
It's all decided for us
He waited a moment and then continued. "Kinch, it was not your fault, nobody could have-".
Kinch interrupted him angrily. "Yes, I know, but I did not try hard enough! If it had not been for me, he might...".
Carter shook his head. "He wanted to do this Kinch, nobody would have stopped him. You know about Tiger...".
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us
Kinch turned towards the wall, the evenings events playing in his head, as if it was a film, a film from which he could not escape, never.
It had been a routine mission, meeting Tiger and escorting her back to her home, she had been right behind Kinch and then, she was not there anymore.
Kinch recalled the look in Hogans eyes as he discovered and as they heard German commands being shouted from behind them.
"I´m going back", he had said and nobody had been able to stop him.
The waiting, was endless, the relieve from the waiting even more terrifying. A shot...
Who waits forever anyway?
Who wants to live forever?
They had come to late. As they reached the colonel and Tiger, they found a scene of horror.
Nothing, except for a dark, still figure. Colonel Hogan...
Kinch felt a tear run down his cheek. The end had been so close...
Who dares to love forever?
When love must die
They had made a run for the still figure, but the figure remained still, and lifeless.
If it had been a movie, he had waited with dying until we were there. But it´s not a movie, it´s reality and he died, died alone, why he?
Who wants to live forever?
He heard a sob coming from the other side of the room. Tiger
She had not been caught, but had just lagged behind, because she had fallen over.
Tiger sobbed into her pillow. She to was asking herself.
Why, why he, why Colonel Hogan?
But touch my tears with your lips
Touch my world with your fingertips
And we can have forever
And we can love forever
Forever is our today
The thought of this hurt. There is no forever.
When the liberating forces came a week later, they found what they had expected to find, a group of broken prisoners, with battered faces, looking older then they were.
One of the commandos wanted to make a joke and said: "Damn boys, you look like a baby bear who´s been separated of his mother bear."
The commando was surprised as he saw the tears in the eyes of the prisoners at this remark, and his confusion rose as one, a black, shy sergeant said: "It was a Papa Bear...".