Ripples of Those Not Found

Chapter One

Beep Beep Beep

They didn't find him. Still haven't found him. If only there had been something specific about the ants, something to grab on to, something to research. Something, anything that could have narrowed the search. When miles and miles of desert surround you, where are you supposed to start?

To say Grissom felt guilty would be an understatement. Racked with guilt. Numb with guilt. Mind, body, soul twisted with grief. Not only had he failed to find him, but Grissom had been the one to put Kelly Gordon in prison in the first place. Guilt abounded.

He can still hear Warrick's watch alarm. Its tiny beeps incessantly marking off the end of Nick's life, ticking away the air, sounding off his heartbeats.

He'd been in his office, franticly searching though one entomology text after another, the printed out photo of the ant pinched in between his thumb and forefinger so tightly his hand began to cramp. Nicks face back dropped the ant, twisted in a grimace, his skin marred by sweat and bite marks.

Grissom tossed yet another book to the floor, it joined the other useless books full of now useless information. There was only one thing in the world he wanted, needed, and not being able to find it made him useless.

At first, he didn't register what he was hearing. Distant beeps made even more distant by his emersion in the text, big words that he would normally have no trouble deciphering, but his distracted and weary mind treated the familiar words like a foreign language. His brain began to scream at him, and he tuned in.

Beep beep beep.

Such an insignificant sound to have such an impact on so many lives.

Beep beep beep.

Sara screamed his name. He ran into the other room, now filled with the entire lab staff. The group parted, making a path for him.

Warrick sat in front of the computer screen, tears streaming down his face; the fingertips of one hand on the glass of the monitor, a dime clasped tightly in his other hand.

Catherine kneeled next to him, her head on his shoulder, her fingertips pressed against her lips, as if she was trying to hold back a scream.

Greg held a sobbing Sara, her fingers clutching at the back of his sweater, her face buried in his chest. Greg stared over her shoulder at the monitor, his eyes empty and unbelieving.

Brass stood to the side, shoulders slumped, fists hung at his sides, clenching and unclenching.

Judy, Archie, Hodges formed a small group. Archie's arm crossed Judy's chest, his hand holding her shoulder, until she couldn't watch anymore and turned into him, hiding her eyes behind her hands. Hodges glanced down at the movement and placed a soothing hand on her shoulder.

Doc Robbins, David and Ecklie were in the back of the room. Part of the lab, yet still separate. All had come to witness what they had assumed would be a miraculous rescue. They stood in stunned silence.

Beep beep beep.

Grissom stood behind Warrick. Every computer screen in the room displayed the same image of Nicks agony as his lungs moaned for air that was no longer there. His mouth opened in a silent scream, his last breaths exhaling out in one desiccated gush. His eyes opened wide with pain. Anguish. Regret.

Grissom thought, and Doc Robbins knew, that Nick's organs were silently shutting down, one by one.

Never had anything so quiet taken so long.

And then, suddenly, it was over.

After a few moments Brass reached over and turned off the feed. The screens blinked black, leaving Nicky alone forever.