Want Me
By: RoxyBunny
(I do not own any of the InuYasha characters, nor will I ever… sadly…)
Summary:
Rin, a growing woman, has mixed feelings towards her guardian, Sesshomaru. Will she keep it a secret for him, or show her true feelings? Only time can tell…
Chapter One: Hold Me
I looked down at the water and its reflection. I wasn't THAT ugly was I? I mean, how could he not see me for what I was. I wasn't a little girl anymore, but that's just how he would always treat me I suppose. How I longed for him to look at me the way he looked at his brother's mate, why couldn't he see me that way? I had no choice but to feel envious of Kagome… I remember the day he saved me…
Flashback
I was running, running, running… Something was after me; I was scared. I screamed out for someone to help me but then it hit. It hurt, I remember it hurt real bad…I remember mama and papa, they were calling out to me. It was strange; they had been dead for years…why would they be calling me now? I saw that light, that glorious warmth and light. I saw mama and papa, I wanted to be with them, but I was scared…I held out my small hand to grab hold of them, but something was pulling me back. The next thing I knew I was back on Earth. My eyes fluttered open and I saw him…the way his silky silver mane danced in the breeze. The way his intense amber eyes showed concern when looking down upon me. I saw the markings on his face, the four stripes of red, two on either side, and the blue crescent moon on his forehead. They frightened me, I knew what that meant; he was a demon. He held me; I wanted him to hold me forever. I knew I could trust him…I knew he was the one I was supposed to be with forever…
End FlashbackI have been with Sesshomaru for about thirteen years now. In that time I've changed a lot. He saved me when I was only five, and my eighteenth birthday is soon approaching. I want Sesshomaru to take me as his mate, but I don't think he wants me the way I want him. I looked back at my reflection in the water. I didn't know why he didn't want me… I surely was better looking than Kagome. I stood at about five foot ten inches. My frame was small. My hair was the color of midnight; it reached the length of my elbows now. I had formed all the curves in all the right places. I must admit I was very fond of my butt; it seemed to attract most men's attention. My breasts were not overly large, but they were a nice firm size. My belly was flat and my thighs and arms were toned. My skin color was about the same, maybe a little darker from my younger years; that's what happens when you stay out in the sun all day. My eyes, my favorite feature, were of a dark brown color. Not the icky color, they were the rich chocolate color that you could just melt away in. I was examining my features when…
"Rin…" my breath caught in my throat. He was standing behind me, how long had he been there? I turned ever so slightly until I met his full gaze. I gave him a questioning look. "We're to leave at sunrise tomorrow…" With that he turned on his heel and made his way back to our camp. We were on our way to visit Sesshomaru's brother, InuYasha. I'm sure he wanted to see InuYasha's mate as well, Kagome. I still couldn't see why Sesshomaru wanted her more than me. I mean; I know he has never actually said he wanted Kagome, but it's just something you can feel when the two of them are together. How I wanted him to feel that for me…
After rinsing my face off once more in the creek, I turned around and began making my way back to camp. I took my time; I enjoyed my little walks alone. Not that I liked being alone or anything, I just liked the peace and quite of everything. I glanced around the forest. This just felt right; it was my home away from home. I lived with Sesshomaru in his castle for most the time. He was after all the lord of the western lands. I often had dreams in my sleep of being at his side, as his lady. I knew that that's not how he felt of me though. It hurt so much to be around him and at the same time not being with him. I loved him more than he knew. I told him often that I loved him, but I've been saying that since I knew him. I've been saying that since I was five, it's probably lost its true meaning. I know it had a different meaning when I first started telling him that these thirteen years ago, but it had a new meaning now. He just couldn't tell the difference…obviously.
As I got closer to camp I saw the fire ablaze. I walked the few more steps until camp and saw Jaken sitting by the heat source, but there was no Sesshomaru. "Where is my lord?" I gave Jaken a curious glance.
Jaken's eyes widened at me, "Oh! I didn't see you there Rin. He's out surveying the land. If you just walk a small ways there," Jaken pointed his finger north-wards, "you should run into him." I bowed and nodded my head in respect to my green companion as I passed him.
I began to walk through the forest once more. Why would Sesshomaru be surveying the lands? There was nothing to be wanted out here in the middle of nowhere. Clearly that was just a cover-up. I knew Sesshomaru just liked to rest under the stars by himself from time to time. In fact, that's probably what he was doing right now. Maybe I should turn back to camp. I was about to turn around when I saw that glorious silver hair. I just wanted to run my fingers through it. I couldn't tell really what Sesshomaru was doing. He just seemed to be relaxing on the ground, looking up at the stars. As I took another small step forward my foot crushed a twig creating a cracking sound. This got Sesshomaru's attention as he glanced my way without really looking in my direction. "Rin…" was all he said.
I gasped; I didn't know what to say. The way he said my name, it was just beautiful. I knew I had to say something, and quick, if I didn't want to come off as an annoying little girl with a crush. "Hmm?" was all that came out of my mouth. Stupid girl, couldn't I say something else like 'Yes my lord?' or even just 'Sesshomaru'. 'Hmm?' was just so…dumb.
"You needed something?" he asked me, still without looking at me.
"I, uh… I just wanted to see what you were up to…" I began to trace small circles in the dirt with my toe. I didn't know what else I was supposed to do.
"Oh…" Sesshomaru went back to his stargazing. How could he just let it drop like that? I swear; he was just so frustrating sometimes. If he was not going to invite me to come join him, well, I would just have to go sit by him without an invitation. I made my way up next to him and took my seat about a foot away from him. I sat cross-legged with my arms supporting me from behind. I looked up at the stars in wonder. "Rin…"
"Yes?" I asked as I glanced at Sesshomaru over my shoulder. He never once looked me straight in the eyes. His features were just stunning.
Sesshomaru didn't say another word for another few minutes, or maybe it just seemed like a few minutes, "I care for you so much…"
I was shocked; Sesshomaru always showed me he cared for me. He showed me through just small hugs, little things like that. He never actually told me he cared for me. He wasn't exactly the best person to count on showing their true emotions.
"I love you Sesshomaru," … nothing. He wasn't saying anything. Oh crap, I just totally screwed it up. Just then Sesshomaru sat up and pulled my arm towards him until I was sitting in his lap. He held me like he did those thirteen years ago, when he saved me from death. Something was different though… I stared deep into his amber eyes. My heartbeat began to pound; it felt as if it were going to beat right out of my chest. I wanted him to kiss me, just this once. I wanted to know what it was like to be kissed. He began to lean a little more towards me… I wasn't prepared for what happened next…
Hey, thanks for reading the first chapter. Sorry it was a little short, I tend to do that sometimes... haha! Leave me some reviews - like it, love it, hate it (aw!)... Flames are welcome as long as you tell me what's wrong with my story... Sorry, I can't please everyone at the same time. I don't even know if this story will please anyone at all lmao... I'll try and update as soon as I can, since school is out, it'll be easier to update.