DIS: Clearly, I'm obsessive over one-shots. Anyway, please read below!

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Title: How to use a computer

Genre: Humor

Rating: M for language

Summary: Ryou's just bought a computer and while he's gone, Bakura decides to check it out. (Pure Humor!)

Notes/Warnings: I advise you all not to eat anything while reading this. And I believe that's all.

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh, any spam, AOL, Yahoo, er...Or any other products mentioned in this fic. Thank ya!

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"Bakura!" Ryou called, and then winced when he heard a crash. "Bloody hell..."

"DAMN YOU HELL, TV!"

"BAKURA!" Ryou shouted, staring at the remains of his TV. Bakura's shoulder flinched, then he turned, a look of innocence on his face.

"Yes, abiou?"

"What did you do!"

"Well, I was flipping through the guide..."

Flashback!

"Hmm, Freddy Vs. Jason is on. Looks interesting."

Click.

"Hm?"

Click.

"Eh?"

Click!

"The hell?"

Click!

"Dammit!"

Click!

"DAMN YOU!"

KABOOM!

"DAMN YOU TO HELL TV!"

End Flashback

Ryou's mouth twitched and he slowly picked up the remote and stared at it.

"The power wasn't on," Ryou hissed, grinding his teeth together. "IT WAS ON TV, NOT CABLE!"

"(o.o) It was?" Bakura blinked. (A/N: That happened to me once. I broke the remote, not the TV)

"YES. IT WAS."

"Uh...Well...Ahem, so what was it that you wanted?"

Glowering, Ryou went into the hall. "I got a computer today."

"A what?"

"A computer. Help me set it up. Actually – scratch that. Clean this up and I'll set it up."

"But I cleaned up last time when the microwave exploded! Because of you, I might add."

"THAT WAS YOU!"

"(OO) ...Where's the broom again?"

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"I'm leaving to a party at Yuugi's. DON'T – do anything you'll regret."

"All right." Bakura shrugged, glancing at the new TV Ryou had bought. (A/N: He must be rich!)

When Ryou was gone, Bakura inched to his bedroom and stared at the computer. He glanced around him, before skulking to the computer chair and pushed a button. The screen lit up and Bakura blinked at the brightness.

"Hmm..." He clicked on the 'Internet Explorer' icon and waited while the AOL Screen came up. Immediately, some IM-ed Ryou. "The hell? Who's CandyLover4Evr7171?" Bakura stared at the screen name, a bit bewildered. "Uh..." He glanced down at the keyboard and slid his hand over it, his thumb pressing down on enter. The IM person responded by swearing at him. "(OO) Erm..." Bakura ignored that and went and clicked on 'Inbox'

"AUGH!" Bakura swore as spam popped up.

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL" was shrieked through the speakers. Bakura plugged his ears, and tried to get rid of the spam.

"DAMN YOU! WORK!"

Riing, riing!

"(oO) Yeah?" Bakura answered.

"Just decided to check up on you, Bakura. You're not getting in any trouble, are you?"

"Erm, no, just – "

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"

"(OO)"

"Bakura, what was that?"

"Um, I have no idea. GottagoRyoubye!" He hastily hung up and the phone rang again. Cautiously, he picked it up. "Yeah?"

"Is this...The residence of Ryou?"

"(o.o) Yeah."

"I know that you use AOL," the scary voice whispered. Bakura blinked rapidly.

"Who the hell is this? What the hell is AOL?"

"Ah-ha, you admit you use the worse Internet service in the US of A!"

"US of A?" Bakura repeated, confused.

"You should switch to Yahoo! Yahoo is so much better than AOL!" Pause. "And did you know that telemarketers can contact you by phone because you are using AOL?"

"Tele – whattas?"

"CHANGE TO YAHOO, I SAY! CHANGE – "

"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!" Bakura silenced the computer by banging his fist on the enter key. "GOODBYE!"

"Was that AOL? So cheesy, really."

"Hey...You sound like the computer..." Bakura realized.

"THEY FIRED ME, SO CHANGE TO YAHOO!"

Click!

"(oO) What the hell?" Bakura shrugged and clicked on an ad.

"LOVE YOURSELF AT The speakers shrieked. Bakura ripped out the speakers angrily and then the computer screen was filled with spam pop-ups.

"DAMMIT!"

SMASH!

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Ryou came home the next day, smiling to himself. When he entered his room, his jaw dropped.

"BAKURA!"

Bakura winced and slid into the room, thinking of an excuse.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!"

"Well..." I got it! "My yami made me do it."

(face fault)

"YOU ARE A YAMI!"

"Uh...I hear voices in my head?" Bakura guessed casually.

"BLO-ODY HE-LL!"

"(X.X)"

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DIS: Welp, not very good, but it was all I could think of and I had to write it down or I'd go insane with wanting to write it. Anyway, please review!