A/N: Sorry for the long update, very bad combination of summer reading and writers' block. I made the chapter longer than usual to make up for it. Everyone who wants to know, I don't like Robin because he takes himself too seriously… actually that makes him very easy to be made fun of so I guess he's not half bad.
"Hello and welcome to…" Slade said.
"The Slade Show!" the audience said and cheered.
"I have good news and bad news, good news is, MY SENTENCE IS OVER!" the audience cheered seeing Starfire sitting in the audience, "bad news is… my restraining order on Robin expired," the audience started laughing at Slade, causing him to start to strangle them using the dark side, "STILL WANNA LAUGH?" he let them live, they all shutup, during this moment the angry mob snuck up on Robin and they all threw a potato sack on him.
"YES!" StickLad said holding up the kicking and screaming sack, "We shoplifted Robin!"
"Congratulations, what do you plan on doing to the boy?"
"He is going into Mr. Squeaky's digestive tract." Overactive Mind said.
"No!" Fay said, "He is going into Fay's digestie tract belly!"
"Mr. Squeaky!"
"Fay!"
"Mr. Squeaky!"
"Fay!"
"We're going to starve him" worthlessdeath said
"I thought we were going to auction him on the internet" TheSkeet said
"That's cool as long as nobody feeds him."
"No, we're going to hold him hostage for five hundred pounds of starburst!" BBfan4eva said.
"Not until after we've left him with a five year old girl who thinks she's Starfire and wants to marry him" Blue Wallpaper said
"Only if she's the highest bidder when we auction him on e-bay!" TheSkeet said.
"No way!" worthlessdeath said, "She'll feed him!" Other members of the mob continued to shout out random methods of torture, eventually leading to your basic fight, huge puff of smoke, limbs and stars flying everywhere. Robin was left on the stage in the potato sack. Slade picked up the bag,
"Does anybody want this?" Slade asked the audience.
"Should we get Robin?" B.B asked Cyborg.
"I'm not carrying that home." Cyborg said, Starfire gasped.
"I am shocked!" she said, "Robin is our friend and you do not wish to rescue him from the bag of potatoes because you do not wish to carry it?"
"So," B.B and Cyborg said, "your point being?"
"Raven, do you not find this shocking?" Raven looked up from her copy of Animal Farm and said,
"Nope" the she continued reading, only to be interrupted by Beast Boy. He looked at the title,
"Cool!" he said, "An animal book! I never thought you'd actually be reading a fun book."
"Yes, nothing says fun like the personification of animals to epitomize the corruption of the Russian communist government."
"Why can't you say it in English?"
"I am shocked at all of you," Starfire said, "our friend is in trouble and you show little to no concern!" then she went onto the stage, "I shall take Robin."
"Ok," Slade said, "but remember, he hates bright light, sunlight will kill him, never get him wet, make sure never to give him a bath and whatever you do, no matter how much he begs, no matter how much he cries, never ever feed him after midnight. Promise to listen to the rules and you can have the boy blunder back."
"But Robin enjoys the sunshine"
"I think you mean the little birds, the contents of this sack are killed by sunlight."
"I do not mean the birds, I mean Robin! Give me the bag!"
"You didn't promise to follow the rules, now I won't let you have him."
"You shall give Robin to us and apologize to him for keeping him in that bag."
"No! I'm not saying sorry!"
"Yes you will!"
"No I won't, I happen to like this sack and plan to use it to hold various sharp painful objects."
"I shall no longer try to reason with you!" she shot some starbolts at Slade, knocking him down, Slade got back up and fought back. Now they had their own puff of fight smoke.
"Cyborg," Beast Boy said, "Think we should do anything about them?"
"No way! This is better than pay per view!" Cyborg said on the edge of his seat.
Raven walks into the main room wearing normal black converse high tops.
Starfire: "I admire your footwear greatly! Please, what brand are they?"
Raven: "Converse."
One week later…
Starfire is wearing pink converse (shiver) scary ones Hillary Duff wore… th3 3v1l…, Robin is wearing red ones, Beast Boy has green ones and Cyborg is wearing white ones.
Raven: (walks in the room, stops short and looks at their shoes) "Thanks. Now I need new shoes and I really liked these." (walks away)
Beast Boy: "What's her deal?"
A movie by Raven, inspired by converse
The teen titans are all sitting at a really long table at an Oktoberfest party with every other teenager who's been in the show, good or bad. Everyone has lederhosen or some other form of traditional German clothing over their uniforms. Their arms are all locked, everyone has a huge beer stein, and they're singing a drinking song
All: "In München steht ein Hofbräuhaus, Eins, zwei, g'suffa! Da läuft so manches Fäßchen aus, Eins, zwei, g'suffa! Da hat so manche braver Mann, Eins, zwei, g'suffa!" (they all take a sip and then spit it out, the music stops) "This isn't beer it's water!"
Slade: "Haha! You're under the legal drinking age and I'm not! So you have to drink Aquafina while I get the real stuff!" (takes a sip) "mmmm bier…" (starts chugging the really really really big stein)
Teenagers: (give Slade the evil eye)
Trigon: "Raven, I've arranged for you to marry Ganondorf."
Raven: "And you have the right to marry me off to a fugly non-existent video game boss, who's had his arse kicked by kids all over the country because?"
Trigon: "Because you are my daughter!"
Raven: "Sure I'm your daughter?"
Trigon: "What's that supposed to mean!"
Raven: "You weren't mom's only boyfriend during that spring of '88."
Trigon: "I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Raven: "I've seen many pictures of her and this good-looking guy in Azarath."
Trigon: "I AM YOUR FATHER!"
Raven: "And I'm the queen of Denmark."
Slade: "Jericho, I raised you. Why must you join the side of good?"
Jericho: (subtitles under sign language) "I dunno, maybe because you ALMOST GOT ME KILLED!"
Slade: "I saved your life, you little ingrate!"
Jericho: "Yeah, but now I'm mute! You knew I had dreams of becoming a singer!"
Slade: "And I have dreams of Robin's death, yet he lives. See you're not the only one with problems!"
Jericho: (gives him the finger)
Slade: "You rotten little--!"
Starfire and Blackfire are beating each other up and cursing at each other in Tamarainen
Robin: (on phone) "Hey Batman, its Robin-"
Batman: (on phone) "How much do you want this time?"
Robin: "How come every time I call you, you think I'm asking for money?"
Batman: "Because every time you call me, you want money."
Robin: "Well maybe I'm calling just to say hi and see how things are going."
Batman: "Ok, why are you calling?"
Robin: "Um… can I borrow a few thousand we kinda maimed a building."
Batman: "…"
Beast Boy: "Having family problems?"
Raven: "No, we're the perfect 1950's family. Isn't that right Daddy dear?"
Trigon: (glares at her)
Beast Boy: "Then come to Dr. Beast Boy, licensed psychiatrist!"
All: "What the? Licensed?"
All of the teen titans are at a party
B.B: "I love you Terra!" (Starts making out with Terra in her rock formation)
Cyborg: "Liver… evil… MUST PUNISH!" (Starts chugging a keg)
Starfire: "He is mine!" (Punches out B.B, then starts talking to Terra) "Robin, when you ask me out! Me wait no more!"
Terra: "…"
Starfire: "Robin no like Starfire! Then Starfire go Tamaran and be Chewbacca girlfriend!" (Storms off)
Robin: (running around in an oversized Batman costume) "Nananananananana BATMAN! Nananananana BATMAN! BATMA-" (trips on cape and falls down the stairs)
Speedy: "Fido get back on your leash! Bad dog!" (Runs after Robin)
Aqualad: (eating a ton of sushi) "This stuff awesome!"
(A/N: I didn't get the best grades when I took Spanish and they're high so if the grammar is ridiculously bad or something's spelled wrong, you know why.)
Menos: "Mis panatalones estan en fuego!"
Mas: "Vengo a la esquela in un taco con queso con Estrallafuego con autobus con pescado con hombre de muffin con llama con mesa con-" (goes on and on and on)
Bumblebee: (answers phone)
Telemarketer: "Would you be interested in purchasing-"
Bumblebee: "UP YOURS SLADE! You always killin Cy's parties!" (makes several attempts to slam the phone down, gives up, then goes to the bathroom to vomit)
Raven: "Don't drink, don't so drugs." (B.B crashes Robin's moped into the wall) "I cannot stress this enough."
Robin: (zombie like) "I think unicorns are cool, I have an irrational fear of muffins, I cried for a week after Batman forced me into the teen titans-"
Raven: "And please don't inject your friends with truth serum and tell them its speed," (pushes Robin away) "there's a very fine line between funny and pathetic."
Robin: (still zombie like) "I still watch Power Rangers, I'm in denial about my crush on Starfire, The Spice Girls are my favorite band, muffins scare me-"
Raven: "Don't do drugs and don't drink because if you're the one who stays sober, you're the one who gets to make fun of them the next day."
B.B: "They made Teen Titan action figures! You hafta buy them! See you can take B.B and buy like 50 Terras and Ravens and Starfires and make them beat each other up for me!" (holds up action figures)
Slade's fight with Starfire has ended; Starfire is now in a potato sack next to the one Robin is in and Slade's mask has a few dents, other than that he's fine. The angry mob has taken it outside. "Anybody want either of them?" Slade held up the kicking and screaming bags.
"ME!" Merry and Pippin both screamed. Then they ran onto the stage, each took one bag and went back to their seats.
"Man are these potatoes gonna taste good!" Merry said.
"Mmmm… potatoes!" Pippin hugged his sack, (he had Robin), "hey! This doesn't feel like potatoes!"
"I'm not potatoes you idiots!" Robin said from the bag
"It can talk, and it's not potatoes so..." Merry said.
"IT MUST BE ONE BIG GIANT TALKING POTATO!"
"AWESOME!"
"We are not things you can eat!" Starfire said, "Please let us out."
"Should we bake them or boil them?" Pippin asked.
"Both!" Merry said, "I'll start washing mine, you can peel yours!" they both held the sacks upside down and opened them, Robin and Starfire fell out.
"HEY! YOU AREN'T POTATOES!"
"No scheiße!" Robin said, then, as he started to walk away, Pippin grabbed his cape, Merry grabbed Starfire's arm.
"It wasn't very nice of you to trick us, now you are going to sit here until you turn into potatoes." Merry nodded in agreement.
"But we are incapable of turning into vegetables suitable for consumption." Starfire said.
"Then you're gonna be sitting here a very long time." Merry said. Robin and Starfire both sat down.
"This is ridiculous," Robin said, "let us go and we'll buy you some potatoes."
"We can steal potatoes anytime we want from Farmer Maggot, we want you to turn into potatoes because you tricked us and that is not very nice." Robin and Starfire narrowed their eyes, then they both broke away from Merry and Pippin and went back to their seats.
"Fine!" Pippin said, "Go ahead and leave, JUST LIKE MY FATHER!"
"Pippin your father never left."
"Yes he did! He went to the store… but then he came back, with candy! Maybe they're going to bring us candy!"
"Bring us candy!" Merry shouted to Robin and Starfire. The angry mob walked back in.
"We've decided what we're going to do to Robin." IwuvMyKenshyPoo said
"First he'll be deprived of food." worthlessdeath said.
"Then sleep." ipcryss said
"Then we will force him to spend time with a psychotic little girl who's in love with him," Blue Wallpaper said.
"This includes the watching of Barbie movies, playing house and other annoying things little girls do," Wise Sage 33 said
"He will be forced to attend a My Little Pony convention." Gildholden Eledolin said
"Afterwards he'll be auctioned on e-bay, then Fay and Overactive Mind will kidnap him, half will go to Fay the other half to-" The Skeet was cut off
"Mr. Squeaky!" Overactive Mind said
"Hey where's the potato sack?" nyanna said. Robin smiled and waved to the mob.
"Next time," Robin said, "don't leave me on the stage for Slade to get rid of. See ya!" he ran to the window, jumped out of it and ran away. The angry mob quickly followed. Then a security guard walked over to Slade and whispered something to him.
"WHAT?" Slade yelled, "THEY CAN'T CANCEL ME!" he killed the guard using the dark side of the force, "he's a lying knave."
A/N: Sorry guys, good things never end, they get canceled or they get really long and start to suck. Unlike the Simpsons, this is no exception. I finish every fic I put on so I've decided to end this one while it rocks. I never thought this would end up getting as long as it is.
"BITCH!"
A/N: However, I find it immoral and wrong to cancel a show before they've done at least one musical. Time for the floor show!
"What the? I am not going to sing and dance!" everybody except Raven ran onto the stage, even Robin and the angry mob had come back (members of the mob who didn't want to sing are sitting in the audience, whoever you are), some music started playing, "No! I will not have any of this on my show!"
"You're no fun!" B.B said, then his voice got really low and deep, "On the twenty third day of the month of September in an early year of a decade, not too long before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence, and this terrifying enemy surfaced as such enemies often do in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places."
"Hmm… deadly threat its very existence," pause, "maybe I could allow one song." Then all of a sudden the Little Shop of Horrors music changed and everyone except Raven and Slade started to sing,
"The hills are alive, with the sound of music, with songs they-"
"No! STOP IT NOW!" Slade said over the singing, the credits began to roll.
Credits…
"No! Stop singing now! STOP THE CREDITS YOU CANNOT CANCEL THIS!" the singing continued, "The Sith may end up sacrificing himself but in the end he wins."
Host: Slade Wilson
"What the?" everyone stopped singing and asked.
Bootleg replacement hosts: Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Robin
"It's time for my mini Ragnarök," he received puzzled looks from everyone except Raven. Raven put a force field around her as she read and ignored the rest of what was going on, "you know, the twilight of the gods," more puzzled looks.
All of the kick arse people who ever reviewed (including the few people who flamed because I'm in a good mood):
Coshi, PMV, PsychoMindGames, Phoenix Skyborne, basketcase 101, Judge Titan, kire, slyfan123, sillymail, Kissa123, Megzwillrule4evr, chitoryu12, worthlessdeath, Tenshi No Koori, Window Girl, Saint H, jejuneepitaph, Slade 2.0, kyo-kitty, LostChickenGothicWednesday723, random reader, Will-the-Titan, birdtears, moo, Factious Fay, star wars rocks, TheSkeet, Napoleon Dynamite clone, Alsoknownas, triva, bluefirestar, Terra, WeaselChick, ivorypanther, Sarah, Cartified Teen Titan, disappearer/Syani, NumbuhZero, switchfoot13, gothchic, blackcat49, bunnysquirrel, Mystyre, Flames of the Sun, Turtle Sister, nala456, vampiremage, Overactive Mind, Shadowofazarath, BananaBoots, Aznka, Wave Maker, Blue Wallpaper, BBfan4evah, Satsuna Mudo, Lunakimono, StickLad, Kikyz, KittyHelsing, LadyDevimon13, Shadow Evenstar, Phantom Moon, i dunno, pop66, Carolyn Carissa Sydnie, Kkori, KGdiva, WeLcOmE2pArAdIsE, NightRobin, RavenKicksAss, ArcherofDarkness and Callie, nv, Asteral 121, TK FoX, PhantomWriter92, me, XxTTfanxX, A Vegan in a Trench Coat, ShadeShine, FirefliesWish, Inutitant12, ipcryss, Dozer, Gildholen Eledolin, Jiruba, Atemu's Lover, nyanna, Wise Sage 33 ((I'm very sorry if I missed your name, I checked over this thing four times))
"The Viking's version of Armageddon," more puzzled looks, Slade sighed then he glared at them, "What happens when everyone dies!"
"Oh," it took a moment to sink in, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone ran around screaming their heads off.
To whoever put this fic in "Teen Titan Lover": Thy mother was a hamster and thy father smelt of elderberries! Thought I forgot about you? NO I DID NOT! Your charter reads "I luv teen titans Romance stories only" THIS IS NOT ROMANTIC! It makes fun of romance and no it is not a romantic comedy or a comic romance! I could never write romance, I'd end up shooting myself during the process. May drunken ducks attack your dwelling!((XxTTfanxX this was not meant for you, I don't mind your C2 group, it's kinda cool))
"Music to my ears," Slade said, "And you can't cancel the show if I do it first!" he pushed the self destruct button.
And because in most movies based on books, they list the entire cast before the author, this was cheaply written by: the lone psychopath
The studio collapsed and everyone died. The End.
"Kids," Raven said as she took away the force field that kept her alive, "if you thought that this show had no point no moral and served no purpose what so ever, you're right," Raven looked at the mess, "I'm not paying for this and no way am I cleaning this up," she pushed a button and some huge rocks fell on her. Now Raven was dead like everyone else. That was what happened the day everyone died. The End.
A/N: … it's over that means you can leave now. Next fic I'm putting up is my spoof on The Phantom of the Opera starring Terra the rock! It's over… time to leave. The End.. again.