Title: Adventures in Yamishipping
Author: Cheysuli
Rated: R
Pairing: Yami/Bakura/Marik
Warnings: Shounen-ai; OOC. You have been warned. If you don't like, don't read.
Chapter Summary: The evilness of cute little kittens.

Kittens were evil. They were evil, sneaky little bastards and Snowy was no exception. Yami hated Snowy and if the cat hadn't made Bakura so happy, he would have dropped it back off at the shelter.

But that would have made him feel guilty. And he had enough guilt to deal with thanks to that whole doctor incident. And speaking of doctors, Yami really needed to figure out what they would do the next time Bakura got hurt. Surely Dr. Reynolds wasn't the only doctor in town.

Of course, considering what Dr. Reynolds was really like, Yami was hesitant to allow anyone near Bakura. Maybe he should go to medical school or something. But that would take forever and cost a whole lot of money. Maybe he could take an online course instead...

And he was getting off the subject of cats. Cats were evil, especially little ones with pure white fur and bright blue eyes. Though Yami probably wouldn't have minded Snowy so much if she (or he, none of them had really wanted to check) wasn't so damned expensive. Who would have thought cats needed so many things? When Yami and Marik had agreed to let Bakura keep her, they had expected that all she would need was a food bowl, water dish, food, and a collar.

This was not so.

According to Bakura, she also needed toys, treats, brushes and combs, a bed, a harness and leash, and... a sweater. Yami had tried to convince him that she already had a fur coat and that she didn't need a sweater; but Bakura had given him those puppy dog eyes and Snowy had imitated him. And Yami had caved; he could not resist the puppy dog eyes... no matter how amusing it was to see them on a cat.

So here they were, in Petsmart, with a cart full of all the things a cat could possible need or want. Plus a few books on how to care for a cat. Bakura probably wouldn't read them but Yami would... and he'd be sure to tell Bakura all the important parts. They couldn't have Bakura accidentally hurting Snowy; he would never forgive himself.

"Bakura, if you don't put her back in the carrier, she's going to run off."

"No she won't! She loves me; don't you, Snowy?"

"Meow!"

"See?"

Yami sighed and tried to ignore them as he pushed the over-loaded cart into the checkout line.

"I can't believe we spent nearly $500 on a cat," Marik groaned as he sat down the last of the bags and collapsed on the couch.

Yami nodded tiredly in agreement as he collapsed next to Marik, gazing at their shopping bag cluttered floor. Even in Ancient Egypt, cats didn't need this much stuff... and they were worshipped back then. 'Oh Ra,' Yami thought, shivering. 'What if Bakura tells Snowy that cats were worshipped?' The damn cat would never let them hear the end of it and she would treat them like her personal slaves.

That was a depressing thought; an ancient Pharaoh being ordered around by a six week old kitten. He'd never live it down. And what were they talking about before he drifted? Oh, money. That's right; they had spent hundreds of dollars on a little white ball of fluff. Fortunately... "It's not like it was our money," he said, moving so he could lay down and use Marik's lap as a pillow. "Kaiba can afford it. Probably spends more than that on his puppy."

Marik nodded, playing a bit with Yami's hair. "Yeah. So when do you think he'll notice his credit card missing? We've had it for a while now."

Yami shrugged. "If he didn't notice when we used it to buy a $100,000 house, I doubt he'll notice $500 of cat toys."

"He just doesn't care."

They blinked and turned to look at the door, where Bakura was standing and holding Snowy. "What do you mean?" Marik asked as he stood, having forgotten he was Yami's pillow.

Yami glared up at him from his new spot on the floor. He really hated it when that happened. Marik never forgot when Bakura was using him as a pillow; why did he always forget Yami? Ok, so maybe the fact that Bakura usually played with various parts of Marik's clothing or his hair or his hands... basically, Bakura made it hard to ignore him. That was it; Yami needed to be more annoying. He could do that.

Now what were his lovers doing? Oh, Marik was showing Bakura the correct way to hold a cat. And Snowy did look much happier now that she wasn't just hanging in his hands. Though Yami wondered why Bakura hadn't already known how to hold her; he was Egyptian after all. But cats were sacred animals and they had been kept in temples and palaces. Bakura had lived on the streets and so would have had limited contact with the creatures. There, that explained it.

But it still didn't explain the fact that Bakura should have been able to tell Snowy was uncomfortable with the way she was being held. She was growling after all. And she was scratching him too; he should have felt that.

Wait, she scratched him? Damn cat; hurting Bakura like that. Not that Bakura noticed. He never noticed things like that unless they were pointed out to him. Or unless the injury was so severe the pain was impossible to ignore. Like that time Bakura had found Malik's motorcycle and decided to try it out.

Malik wasn't allowed to bring his motorcycle over anymore.

And Yami had just noticed he was still on the floor. Pharaohs should not be on floors. It was undignified. And what had he been thinking about that had made him forget to get up? Let's see... cats, injuries, motorcycles... yeah that was it. But why was he on the floor in the first place? He couldn't seem to remember.

"You fell when Marik stood up."

He blinked and glanced up at Bakura. He must have said that last part out loud. That or Bakura was suddenly telepathic. He really hoped Bakura wasn't suddenly telepathic. He'd see it as a game and accidentally hurt himself... or lose himself. Yami wasn't quite sure how telepathy worked but he assumed getting lost in another's thoughts was a possibility.

"Aren't you going to get up now?"

And he was still on the floor. Time to fix this. He sat up and leaned back against the couch, watching Bakura who was sitting next to him with Snowy in his lap. The cat blinked up at the Pharaoh, hissing quietly before snuggling against Bakura and falling asleep.

Great. The cat hated him. This would turn out badly; he just knew it. Well, hopefully he wouldn't be alone in his war against the cat. She probably hated Marik too.

Wait. Where was Marik?

"He's upstairs on the phone with Kaiba," Bakura said, petting Snowy before picking her up so he could move closer to Yami. "Can't you hear him yelling?"

Yami stared at him. "Are you telepathic?" he asked as Bakura snuggled up against him. And now that he thought about it, he could hear yelling coming from upstairs. But why was Marik talking to Kaiba?

Bakura frowned as Snowy, having been awakened when Bakura had picked her up, squirmed her way out of his arms and ran into a paper shopping bag that had fallen on its side. Bakura probably would have followed her and brought her back if Yami hadn't wrapped his arm around the white haired boy.

"Bakura?" Yami asked as he tried to keep Bakura's attention off the cat. "Why is Marik talking to Kaiba? He doesn't want to return the credit card you stole, does he?" If that was true, it would be completely out of character. Marik never returned the things he or Bakura stole. The closest he ever came was abandoning stolen cars where the police could find them... but he only did that because it was never a good idea to keep cars for very long. Especially since some of the newer ones had those tracker unit things. They had learned that one the hard way.

"Oh, I didn't steal it!" Bakura said cheerfully as he rested against his lover. "Kaiba gave it to me!"

Oh. That explained the yelling. Wait... Kaiba gave it to him! "Kaiba gave it to you!" he shrieked, causing Bakura to wince and move away from him. Oops. He hoped he hadn't given Bakura a headache. Unlike pain from an injury, Bakura always noticed headaches. And he had enough headaches without Yami giving him anymore. Maybe he should ask quieter? "Bakura, love, why did Kaiba give you a credit card?"

Bakura stared at him as he rubbed his head. Damn, he looked like he had a headache. This was just not Bakura's day. First beeping microwaves, needing stitches, evil child molesting doctors, cat scratches - not that he had noticed those- and now he had a headache. That Yami gave him. Yami needed to be punished for hurting his lover. He'd ask Marik to do something later. And Bakura still hadn't answered his question. "Bakura?"

Bakura shrugged as he turned to look for Snowy, who was no longer in the over turned bag. "I don't know. I think he said something about debts but I wasn't really listening."

Yami groaned. They really needed to teach Bakura to listen when people gave him things for no reason. Not listening was a good way to get trapped in a situation you couldn't get out of. And if Kaiba had so much as thought about hurting Bakura... Yami really needed to kill something.

Now where was that damned cat?

Yami, unfortunately - or fortunately, depending on who you asked - did not get to kill Snowy. He couldn't even reach Snowy. Why couldn't he reach Snowy? Because Snowy was on top of the refrigerator.

Yami wasn't quite sure how such a tiny little thing like Snowy could get on top of the refrigerator. There was nothing for her to climb to get up there and he highly doubted she jumped from the counter. It was much too far for such a small cat. But she was still on top of the refrigerator and Yami had to get her down before Bakura came in and saw her up there. Because Bakura would try to climb up there and get her himself; and Yami couldn't have that, especially since Bakura would most likely hurt himself and they no longer had a doctor.

Speaking of Bakura, what was he doing in the living room to make so much noise? Glaring briefly at Snowy, Yami turned and walked back to the living room. And stared.

Bakura had obviously decided that Snowy's things could not stay in the bags any longer. Now, the bags were gone and the Snowy's things were spread randomly all over the floor. Though as Yami looked closer, he noticed it wasn't as random as he first thought. There was a pile for toys - and it was a large pile, too - and a pile for grooming supplies, a pile for bedding and a pile for food and dishes. And why did they buy four dishes? They only needed two. Oh well, no point in complaining. It was just an extra 40 bucks. Yes, a set of dishes cost 40 Ra damned dollars! Snowy couldn't have the cheap plastics one... no, she needed the pure silver engraved set. Spoiled brat.

Yami sighed, deciding that Bakura could be left alone for the time being, and returned to the kitchen. Snowy was still on the fridge. Yami growled. Snowy hissed back. Neither moved.

Yami finally realized he was having - and losing - a staring contest with a cat. The cat was driving him insane. Shaking his head, he pulled a chair away from the table and over to the counter. Checking to make sure Snowy was still there - she was - he carefully climbed onto the chair and then onto the counter. He stood and leaned across the gap between the counter and fridge, praying that he wouldn't fall and bust his head open.

"What are you doing?"

Yami nearly fell. After having regained his precarious balance, he turned and looked at Bakura. Bakura stared at him in confusion for a moment before setting the silver dish full of gourmet kitten food on the table and picking Snowy up off the floor.

Yami watched in disbelief as Bakura sat the kitten on the table. He turned quickly - almost too quickly - back to the fridge. Yep, no Snowy. How the hell had she gotten down? And without him seeing her?

"Yami?"

Yami blinked and returned his gaze to Bakura, whose attention was divided between Yami and Snowy, who seemed to smirk at the Pharaoh before continuing to eat her food. There was something really freaky about that cat. But he could think on that later, when Bakura wasn't in the room and waiting for him to answer his question. "Yes, Bakura?"

Bakura cocked his head. "Why are you climbing the fridge?"

"Uh, no reason," Yami said as he nearly lost his grip. He smiled brightly at Bakura, who looked like he didn't really believe him.

But fortunately Bakura didn't push it, instead picking up the now empty food dish and putting it in the sink. He stared at Yami for a few moments in confusion before shaking his head and leaving the room.

Yami sighed and turned back to the fridge, prepared to carefully push off so he was standing once again fully on the counter. And he suddenly found himself looking into impossibly large bright blue eyes.

Startled, Yami lost his grip, slipped, and went crashing to the floor. Dazed, he laid there for a moment, thanking Ra that nothing seemed to be broken. And as he laid there, he saw the owner of the impossibly large blue eyes. Snowy was once again on top of the refrigerator and was now staring down at him in obvious amusement.

Damn cat.

TBC...