Note: It's four in the morning, so I'm just going to post this un-betaed and un-revised. I haven't even read over it at all. Please bare with any mistakes. I'm currently going through and revising all the chapters, and this one has just been moved to the top of my priority list.

Disclaimer: Phaerie is very desolate to announce that she does not own Harry Potter and Co., but she is also very ecstatic to announce that she does own a brand new iBook. Hazaa!

The Secret Assignments

Chapter Seven

Study Date

"So about the other night..." As Harry mumbled the dreaded words, I tried to conjure up a black hole to suck me away from this nightmare and into oblivion. He opened his mouth to continue while my mind started viciously screaming, Dammit! Where's a black hole when you need one! There's got to be a star imploding somewhere near here!

"Did you ever figure out what those potions ingredients were for?" he asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Eh?" I stared back at him blankly. "Potions ingredients?" I repeated cluelessly. What is he on about? What do potions ingredients have to do with the Incident?

"For that dare, remember?"

I tilted my head to the side. "What dare?"

Harry sighed. "Do you at least remember the pie?"

"Pie?" I blinked owlishly before 'oohing in realization as the memory hit me. Ah yes. The pie. The delectable, delish pie. "I do recall the pie..." That was the highlight of the evening. After that I had had to get those potions ingredients out of Snape's private store for Lavender. And after that the night took a Wronski Feint and failed to pull in time, what with the Incident and all. Oh dear. Just thinking about it has me all flustered again. I do believe my face is now on fire. Can black holes douse fires? Or would I be stuck in oblivion, damned to eternal suffering from third-degree burns?

"I thought the pie might jog your memory. It was quite delicious." Indeed it was, Harry. Indeed it was. Come to think of it, I could go for some more pie right about now, actually... "So did you ever find out why you were dared to get those particular ingredients?" Oh, he's talking about that assignment, then. My memories of that night had been rather focused on how the night ended, but I do have a fuzzy recollection of stealing that shredded skin of boomslang and powdered horn of a bicorn.

"Erm. Well, I don't actually know what they were for, but it was mentioned by a certain law-abiding magic-user," a.k.a. The Ebil One, "That something illegal was going on and said law-abider refused to participate in it. I still have no clue what they were on about. Of course, I don't usually, which is very irksome."

Harry frowned when I mentioned the illegal bit, but he shook his head and a smirk began to inch its way across his face as he inquired, "Then I take it that the giant dare game is still in progress?"

"Unfortunately," I grumbled in response, glaring down at the tomb in front of me. "I'm actually in the middle of one right now."

"What is it this time?" Curiosity killed the cat Harry! I'm not quite sure how that transpired, though. Perhaps the cat had a few too many Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans because he was so curious to find out if all the flavors were, in fact, authentic. Fred and George tried that once, and they were sick for a week. Mom did mention somewhere in the middle of her rant that they nearly killed themselves, but I think that was more due do to the fact that they were cramming so many into their mouths at once that they started to choke.

But getting back to the relevant, I waved my hand to indicate the stack of books on the table. "I'm to spend the day reading books with titles that include: Advanced Herbology, Tricky Charms, Powerful Potions, Perplexing Transfigurations, and Defense for the Dedicated."

Harry gave me a questioning look. I interpreted it as: What the hell kind of wiggidy-whack dare is that?

"I'd rather not talk about it," I mumbled.

"You don't feel like talking about it because it's too confusing to explain, or you don't feel like talking about it because even talking about it has the potential to send you into a coma out of sheer boredom?" Harry asked.

I could feel the lingering sense of doom completely dissolve as I explained, "This is revenge for my last dare, which was revenge for the dare that started it all."

"A vicious cycle," he murmured sagely.

I nodded and continued, "I now know why they say revenge is bittersweet. The whole getting revenge is totally sweet, but then it all turns around to bite you in the arse when someone decides to get back at you, and it's all bitter. Not to mention incredibly boring."

"So true," Harry agreed, picking up one of the books I had sprawled across the table and flipping through the endless pages. After a few minutes, he closed the tomb and looked back up at me. "What were those words again?" he asked suddenly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"I think I might be able to find you some more interesting material." Harry stood up and disappeared behind the bookshelves. Of course, I jumped up to follow him.

"Tricky Charms was one of them, right?" he asked as he skimmed a shelf just above my head.

"Er, yeah," I replied perplexedly. Then I was struck by a sudden thought: it was about time that Hermione appeared metamorphised? and began rambling frantically, "Ah, actually, the person who initiated the dare keeps coming to check up on me to make sure I'm staying on task you know? And I'm pretty sure I'm not supposed to be socializing. I'm not trying to run you off or anything it's just--"

"We aren't socializing," Harry cut in, pulling a book down off the shelf and handing it to me. "I'm keeping you on track. Who can fault me for that?" I looked down at the book smirked impishly at the cover: Tricky Charms for Trick or Treating. See, this is why I'm so head over heels for Harry; he has this uncanny ability to make everything better. Harry, you're absolutely perfect.

-----

(Note: This scene switches to third-person point-of-view.)

Hermione was happily strolling down the corridor that led to the Hogwart's Library, even going so far as to hum a jaunty tune, when Parvati appeared out of nowhere beside her. Hermione's rendition of Double Double Toil and Trouble came to an abrupt halt as she eyed Parvati questioningly.

"What's Lavender up to?" Parvati demanded.

With a sigh, Hermione stopped in the middle of the corridor and turned around to face Parvati, crossing her arms over her chest in the process. "What are you on about?"

"The other night. At the meeting," Parvati elaborated exasperatedly, "You refused some assignment from Lavender. You said something about it being illegal. What exactly did she want you to do?"

"If she didn't tell you herself then I really have no right to tell you," Hermione replied with an annoyed frown. Parvati was keeping her from torturing Ginny because of that stupid assignment she refused? Life was so unfair.

"But--"

"Yeah, so stop snooping around already!" another voice further down the corridor interrupted. Parvati and Hermione spun around to see a very miffed Lavender stalking towards them.

"I wouldn't have to snoop if you'd just tell me what's going on!" Parvati snapped back.

"It's not of your business, so drop it already!"

Hermione rolled her eyes and continued on her way to the library. She was beyond dismayed when the bickering duo followed close behind her. The moment they'd stepped through the double doors, Madame Pince was hovering in front of Parvati and Lavender shushing them and threatening to take away House points for their inconsiderate noise level. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief when the two finally shut up and made her way to where Ginny had been sitting all afternoon over in the back corner of the library.

"What the bloody hell do you care what it was in the first place?" Lavender hissed as soon as Madame Pince had disappeared behind a book shelf.

"I care that you're deliberately hiding things from me!" Parvati whispered back earnestly.

And here they go again, Hermione thought as her right eye began to develop a slight twitch.

"Fine! If you must know, I asked her to brew a Polyjuice Potion!"

Hermione tried to tune their senseless babbling out, but when she did, her ears honed in on another sound--laughter. It wasn't that the sound of laughter was so foreign to her ears that a mere giggle had her stopping in her tracks, it was just that she recognized that particular wheezy kind of laugh with an occasional snort between gasp for air. She sped up her pace and rounded the last book shelf.

"What did you need--"

"Oh! Blast-ended skrewts!" Hermione's sudden outburst not only had Madame Pince glancing their way disapprovingly, but it also managed to shut both Parvati and Lavender up.

They turned away from each other to glare at Hermione and demanded simultaneously. "What's with you now?"

Hermione's fists balled at her sides and she stomped her foot childishly. "She's not supposed to be having fun!" she griped, "That defeats the whole purpose!"

Parvati and Lavender looked back at her in confusion before peering around Hermione's frizzy hair to see the couple sitting at the farthest table. Harry and Ginny were sitting side-by-side, hunched over a book and failing miserably at stifling their laughter.

Hermione stepped forward to leave the relative cover that the bookshelf beside them provided, but Parvati and Lavender each latched onto an arm and held her back.

"Wait!"

"You can't!"

"Why the hell not?" Hermione snarled at the two, trying to break away from their vice like grips.

"You'll ruin the moment!" Lavender explained.

"Yeah, Gin's finally getting her flirt on with Harry," Parvati continued.

Hermione's struggling ceased momentarily as she gazed back at her captives uncaringly. "So?"

"Do it for Harry, Hermione," Parvati urged.

"Yeah, he really needs to get himself a girl," Lavender added.

Hermione looked from one to the other before sighing dejectedly. "Fine," she agreed begrudgingly, "But she's going to pay."

Lavender and Parvati nodded placatingly while pulling Hermione back behind the bookshelf. Lavender reached up and pulled down a stack of books from the shelf at their eye-level and the three spied on the hysterical couple through the gap.

"Hey Hermione," Parvati murmured thoughtfully, "Instead of whatever re-revenge you're planning, why don't we just have Ginny ask Harry out to Hogsmeade this weekend?"

"I'm trying to get back at her, Parvati, not help her with her boy problems," Hermione grumbled.

Lavender and Parvati turned toward her with identical devious grins. "But therein lies the brilliance of the assignment," Lavender insisted.

Parvati nodded. "She'll think you're doing this to help her and Harry get together--"

"When really you're getting her back for whatever it is that has you so upset."

"How is that payback?" Hermione snapped impatiently, annoyed that she was unable to follow her Trelawny-worshipping roommates' logic.

Parvati elaborated, "She'll spend the whole week nervous and embarrassed because she won't ask him until the last second."

"But in the end, it'll benefit her, so you won't be risking retaliation," Lavender concluded with a flourish.

"Plus," Parvati added conspiratorially, "With Harry otherwise occupied, that'll leave you and Ron unaccompanied."

Hermione quickly turned away from them, looking as if she were in deep thought about the matter, but the dark flush that had spread across her cheeks had not gone unnoticed by the scheming duo. After a moment, Hermione cleared her throat and nodded before scurrying back the way they had come and out the double doors. Parvati and Lavender giggled in her wake as they performed their super-exclusive super-secret victory dance/handshake. Matchmaking was so much fun. In fact, the idea of the secret assignments had only warmed up to the two alleged mind readers once they realized the immense matchmaking possibilities it provided.

It's time for some fun.

A/N: Well, that took a bit longer than I thought it would. I'm so lazy. I procrastinate far too much. Ah well, I finished this chapter, and my writer's block has alleviated for the next few chapters at least, so that's good. As always, super special thanks to the reviewers! And a super-duper thanks to those that reviewed the last chapter after my lengthy hiatus. Now it the button in the bottom left corner of your screen and leave a review. Please? Pretty please? I would love you forever if you did.

-Phaerie