Lost And Found, a suikoden fanfic

Lost and Found

By: Kuroi Neko-kun

Summary: For my father, I lost my heart. And he only told me to believe in faith.

Disclaimer: Suikoden 4 doesn't belong to me…

Warning: Yaoi. Slash.

A/N: I created this pairing because of a joke but I think I fell in love with it.

Until the officials are out:

Hero's name: Gale

Ship: Solstice

Army: Blizzard

It wasn't easy to just sneak out and leave the ship, especially when everyone is waiting on deck for Lord Gale to return to us but I couldn't spare another moment. With my father by my side, we snuck onto a lifeboat, hoping that we could find a ship somewhere and live. We had to get of for my father's sake. He was still the remaining Kooluk commander that survived. I had to get him out before they do something against my wishes. To some of their eyes, I am still of Kooluk. My word is nothing against theirs. But as the lifeboat lowered to the sea, I couldn't help but glance back. I had left something very precious behind that day as I watched one figure amongst the figures. It was until we sailed away that I realized I left behind my heart.

Nothing did leave my father's eyes as he watched me for the past few days. We had managed to get on a merchant ship that would gladly sail us to Nay Island. After a change of wardrobe, we would help the crew out, even if it were to my father's disdain. But he knew something was wrong with me. Nothing did go amiss with him ever since my mother died of illness. It was a quiet night and, as usual, I would get on deck and look out the sea, wondering about that one person mainly. He tapped me on the shoulder before handing me a blanket. Father wasn't the kind to wrap it around me when I knew how to do it myself. I thanked him, feeling odd for this gesture because he usually left it up to me to make my own choices. That is if I wanted to freeze to death, then it would be my damned problem. He then looked at me, with worry in his eyes. The question was asked and I had to answer because after all these years, I have never disobeyed him. I told him of how I felt and in truth he wasn't quite shocked even when he had that stoic face. I was the one speaking, letting out my burden before I buried my head in my hands, ashamed for my father because he wasn't. He understood because he had to. I am the one who was supposed to lean on his strength and after all, I am his only son. He rubbed my back, as if he tried to soothe me. He began asking me how it started and why I hid it from him. I only told him, "How could you tell your own father that you fell in love with a man?"

"By having faith," he said, "I may be an old man but I have an open mind. I had to have one or I would have never met your mother. You knew that she was only a servant under my own father. I fell in love with her because I saw her as a woman and not a person who lived to cook and clean under my own house. She only told me one thing, 'Never close your mind's eye or you will blinded by your own selfish thoughts.' Though her true lesson for me was to never give up on love. I couldn't even do that for you even when you were on the other side. So I will incorporate both of your mother's most treasured lessons, my son." It was when we were at Nay Island I realized what my father was about to do.

When we stepped off the ship, I looked around the harbor. I have been to Obel once before. When Lord Gale wanted me to accompany him during his trade routes. With the requests from both Lady Adrienne and Sir Phil for materials, the young leader needed someone to help him with the items. Obel was a peaceful island and the king loved it more than anything in the world. Now, this land was the operating base for the Island Nations Federation where the king himself was the chairman. It was a fitting title for the man who started the war and helped put all this together. My father looked at me before sighing.

"The only way for you to find him is to start moving, young man. Don't make me drag you by the ear," he said. I couldn't help laughing as I walked with him. My father still had his cynic sense of humor.

Lady Flare greeted us with a smile and for me, a hug. She said that she was glad to know that I was fine and that she hoped that I was staying. My father, whom she had met since his short occupation here, was glad that she didn't kill him with an arrow to his chest. She laughed at these words, of course, saying that she wasn't as ruthless as that. She told us that she would prepare separate rooms for us because we looked so ragged. I was about to protest when my father literally stomped his foot on mine. The sight of me cringing to fight the pain seemed to amuse the Obel princess a lot.

Once in my room with nothing to unpack, I lay myself on the bed before sighing. Here I am in Obel, trying to see him and wondering what in the world am I doing here. My father's plan was simple for him but the complication was upon myself. What am I to do when I see him? Apologize? Tell him my true feelings? I'm not even sure he noticed. It was just one night for a lonely man in a drunken stupor and another young man who secretly admired him. I wouldn't let go of the chance. I'm not even sure he remembered. I've avoided him on the ship but when you're the one on deck and he's gung ho with a spear in his hand when some random monster comes up to the ship, you have to talk to him or he'll spear you too. He never mentioned the night but I wish he did. I tried to approach him but I lost my confidence when I saw him from a close distance. I guess now I will have to face him as Flare had announced our arrival. I hope we can get off this island soon…At that moment, someone knocked on my door. Getting up, I walked to it and opened it, revealing whoever my new guest was.

"So it's true then. Flare wasn't just pulling my leg," he said as he gave me a small smirk. I was too speechless to speak.

"I would have come sooner but I was swamped with paperwork and I don't sign what I don't read," he continued before noticing just how shocked I was. And damn shocked was I.

"Are you going to try and say something?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head, thinking of how to say what I wanted to say in the right words. It never came when two seconds later, his muscled arms wrapped around me and he pulled me in for a kiss. Once he broke it, I was shocked on a different scale altogether.

"I never got to thank you that night," he said, "But when Gale told me that it was your father we had for captive, I knew you were going to slip away. And I let you. You're not slipping away this time, Helmut." I felt my heart burst in joy. These were the words I have searched for a long time in him and I've got it. He won't let me slip away… and I have to say something now.

"And just how am I to do that when the King of Obel has me wrapped around his arms?" Boy, I am my father's son, aren't I? I watched as he smirked before we moved into my room for the night.

I found myself unable to sleep, even when I have grown weary from our short time in bed. He had fallen asleep much earlier but he fought to stay awake. He did say that he was up the previous night pouring over paperwork. A lot of it had poured in since the start of the Island Nations Federation. I sat up before turning to his sleeping form. Here was the King of Obel, one of the most respected men on this side of the world, sound asleep on my bed because of the act of lovemaking we shared an hour ago. Will this be like the last time? Will I leave Obel and leave him once more? Does he even feel the same way as I do? I fear to find all the answers to my questions for one will cause a change in my life. My hand touched his face, outlining it. I watch him twitch before falling back to sleep. Leaning in, I kissed his cheek before whispering a soft 'I love you' into his ear. I went back to sleep soon after.

When I woke, I found my bed cold. I knew he would leave somewhere in the middle of the night. He was still king and the chairman of the Island Nations. He couldn't be found in the bed of another man. This was logical. I got out of bed and got dressed. Might as well take a walk around the island while I'm here. I had pulled my pants on when he walked in from the balcony in my room.

"So you're awake. Good."

"What are you doing here?" I asked, not really sure what's going on. It was obvious I didn't expect him to still be in my room.

"You did remember what happened last night, right?" he asked, now folding his arms.

"I do but is it alright for you? You are still the King of Obel and the chairman of the Island Nations. Won't people talk if they found out?"

"No one will find out, Helmut," he said, "Because no one can. There's a secret route from this room to mine. I was planning on showing it to you right now. Why do you think Flare gave you this room?"

"You mean, she knows?" This was a new revelation. Flare knows.

"Of course. Nothing slips past her," he said, sighing, "She notices a lot of things." I instinctively moved closer to him.

"Like what?" I asked softly. He moved towards me and cupped my cheek, thumbing designs as we gazed into each other's eyes.

"That I need you in my life. Everything changed the night we spent together the first time. She said I needed someone in my life. Flare has good intentions but she refuses to look at the situation as it is. I can't force you to stay and I have to confront your father."

"You don't have to worry about him. He knows about me. He's the reason I was dragged here. I wasn't sure that you… knew how I felt about you," I mumbled.

"Helmut… I…" I didn't allow him to finish his sentence as my lips pressed against his. A small kiss fueled by my unrequited love for the King of Obel. When I broke from him, I found that I left him in a daze. I sighed. Maybe all this wasn't meant to be. After all, I could be just another one in his eyes…

"I just wanted you to know—"He placed a finger on my lips.

"I love you too," he said softly. Those were the words I wanted from him since the day I saw him. I knew this wasn't a dream but nothing could feel so surreal in my entire life. He removed his finger from my lips and met it with his own. When the kiss was broken, he looked at me before smiling.

"So, will you stay in Obel for me, Helmut?" I couldn't help smirking.

"Well, it depends. You will have to ask my father for permission." My answer made him falter a bit.

"After all these years, I thought I passed the times when I had to face another parent," he grumbled. I just chuckled at that.

I had been sitting at the front of the palace where the shallow ponds were located as I stared into space, thinking about all these new revelations for me. I guess I never did think about the possibility of him having reciprocal feelings about me as I did to him. I have a lot of questions to ask him but they had to wait. At this moment, the King of Obel was having an audience with a few candidates that he wished to hire. He told me to wait for him once he had done what he had to do. The truth was, I was getting very bored. I guess I was lucky because Flare tapped me on the shoulder before smiling at me.

"Hello, Helmut," she greeted with a smile, "Father's done but he's speaking with his new chief military advisor at this moment."

"I see," I said. She took a seat beside me before turning to me again.

"Father seems happier now. He usually stares into space a lot, probably thinking about you. I knew about… how he changed since my mother's death but I didn't realize he fell in love with you." I looked at her as she said it. At the mention of her mother, a glimpse of sadness was shown in her eyes. I can understand how she felt, having lost a mother as well.

"Lady Flare… I…"

"I'm glad that he's happy," she said, now smiling at me once more.

"Thank you," I said before asking her a question that had been dredging my mind. "How did you know about me?"

"Well, next time when you try to comfort Father when he's drunk, make sure the door is locked," she said, grinning.

"Oh…" I said, now blushing. How could I forget that Lady Flare shared the same room as him? She laughed sweetly before patting my shoulder.

"It doesn't matter now, Helmut," she said, "I've already accepted you as family." Before I could respond, I heard the doors opening and the two men I cared for the most stepped out, talking to each other. That raised my eyebrows high.

"Father?" I said, looking at him.

"Helmut, I have good news for you," my father said, smiling a bit, "Your majesty has hired me as military advisor to the Island Nations. That means our official residence in now in Obel." I blinked for a moment, not really believing it.

"You mean…"

"Your father wouldn't stay here without a cause so I asked him about his military status and gave him the position. After all, I need someone with such a background to help with the protection of all the islands here." I looked from my lover to my father before taking a composed breath.

"So, it's an agreement?" I finally asked.

"I just signed the papers, Helmut," my father said, "With all this done, I guess there isn't a point of shifting our living arrangements, right?"

"If it's alright with you…" Lino said, turning to me.

"I have no complaints, though I would like a bigger bed," I said causing Flare to snort. My father shook his head before sighing.

"Well, I have to prepare for my job and get some more clothes since I'll be staying. Lady Flare, would you like to bless me with your presence? I'm sure you can help me pick something for my son as well." Flare nodded before smiling. They left, leaving me with him.

"You planned that, didn't you?" I said, glaring at him.

"Not really. I was looking for a military advisor," he said as his defense, "Everything just fell into place. I guess that's what having faith could do." As he said that, I noticed the humor in his eyes.

"Well then, I hope you keep your faith on keeping a warm bed every night," I said before walking past him. He grabbed my shoulder before smirking.

"How about we do that right now?" I smiled before turning to him, removing the hand on my shoulder.

"Have faith, your majesty," I said, "And miracles may happen." He only laughed before shaking his head. I couldn't help just smiling when he did.

End