Yuugioh does not belong to me.
Well, Angel, you wished to be inserted into the story so . . . TA DA!
Sorry for the delay. I . . . IT'S NARUTO'S FAULT! IT'S TAKING OVER MY FF LIFE!
LONG thank you list/comments are at the end.
They were all home at last, and taking a short rest in Seto's gigantesque mansion.
"Yeah, yeah. Don't worry, Dad. I was not molested by some guy—No, Seto-chan isn't . . . what kind of question is that! I'm not going to tell you what brand of . . . No! Dad! Look, I'll be home in an hour, I've just . . . my voice is perfectly fine—what! No, I did not go hoarse screaming . . . Dad, look I'll talk to you when I get home, okay? Bye."
"Mokuba-nii, did he . . . touch you?"
"Seto-nii, I've told you a million times now. He only gave me ice-cream and cookies!"
"You cheated, Jade-nee! "
"Shut the fuck up, Faye, and pass the sake."
"You see, Yuugi-chan, the ancient of Eygptians weren't as card obsessed as your friend might have you believe. They enjoyed eating much more. Between you and me, bozu, the only reason those people were so slim was because they carted around those stone cards. If they were smart enough to seals monsters into cards—for who knows what reason—you'd think they'd be smart enough to make some paper, y'know?"
"Jade-sama, my hair is not a lance!"
"Atemu-sama never told me Egyptians did that!"
A loud crash interrupts their conversations, and an odd sight greets their eyes.
"Why, hello there. I'm just popping in for a short hello, you know the kind, right? The kind where I greet everyone and then pull out a huge machine gun—" Kiddies, cover your eyes now, please. I do not wish to show you possible imminent gore, now do I? Off you go, hey, look, Pokemon is on! Go on. Okay, now that they're gone, this is the part where the stranger pulls out a huge machine gun. "—and I am it at Jounouchi-san . . . " He does his best to aim the thing, even though it is nearly falling out of his hands. "Bye bye!"
Katsuya stares blankly at the newcomer, his eyes growing wide as the machine gun is aimed at Seto. "Shit," Seto manages to utter before grabbing Mokuba by the hand and running out of the room like the devil had just materialized and said that he wanted Seto has his Underworld bride because Persephone is too old by now.
So now the stranger breaks out in tears. "Why did he run! I only wanted to viciously murder him! Drat." He swings the huge weapon around to face Katsuya. "Oh well, on the Plan B."
"What the fuck! Who are you?"
The stranger gives Katsuya a terrifying look and his grin seems to curl on itself. If you could have paused him and measured the sudden spiral at the ends of his grin, they probably would have fit the Golden Ratio. Having taken these measurements and recorded them, you could have then run and told your maths teacher so that he or she could steal this information, and sell it to some prominent mathematics company so that he or she can retire early and never have to face a class full of horny teenagers ever again.
This stranger is not planning on pausing, though, so your plan is now ruined. Go tell your maths teacher that you've ruined their chances at early retirement. Take a Swiss Army knife in case he or she attacks you in their sadness. Katsuya quickly runs behind a nearby sofa, hoping the thing can save his life for the moment.
Damn it, why had Seto taken his last grenade?
Now, a few things will come to pass at this moment that you may see as unlikely or downright lies. But I assure you; they are as true as the fact that George Washington wore his favorite purple underpants when he fought the British.
For one, you must take into consideration that Faye, Jade and Honda were all extremely wasted and half-naked (who knows what odd drinking game they had been playing, but one having to do with stripping, them being hormonally driven teenagers, and all). This was definitely not the time in which they would outshine the rest in their decision-making.
"Hey, there, dude! Ish would like an apple! Fetch an apple, kind sir! For I am SNOW WHITE and—" Hereabouts is when Faye is cut off by the fact that she passed out on the table, her drool making a dark brown mark on the light wood.
"Gasp, Honda, there's someone about to shoot your friend. Aren't you gonna do something?" Jade stage whispers to Honda.
Honda leans forward and replies simply. "Jou-kun likes lollipops, y'know?"
Jade's eyes go wide. "Really? So do I!" The two of them then look over at Yuugi, and it seems they have the same deranged thought.
"Wouldn't Yuugi-kun make a great cannon ball?"
Jade's wicked grin is her only answer.
Ryou slams down about five pornographic magazines on the countertop in front of the tired-looking woman. "Just these, please." He waits patiently while she rings them up, giving him an amused look as she does so. They're all gay porn magazines.
"Aren't you gonna cramp your hand up with all of these?" She says snidely, slipping the magazines into a plastic bag that reads Thank you, come again in bright kanji.
He cocks an eyebrow in her direction. "Huh? Oh! My boyfriend is restless and wants to go on a mass murder spree, so I've got to calm him down somehow." He takes the bag from her hand calmly, and is off, the little bell on the door ringing gently as he exits. The woman stares at him blankly, as if unsure whether to take him seriously or not.
Once outside Ryou runs a hand through his long, white hair. It's nice out today, and he wonders if he can somehow convince Bakura that sex outside is more fun than sex inside. He doubts it. He doesn't like doing the other stuff in public, he says it embarrasses him.
And knowing Bakura, he is in the mood for the other stuff. Ryou hopes that he got some magazines that won't give Bakrura any ideas.
He opens the door to his apartment in one swift move and greets his father loudly. Of course he doesn't answer, but this is a habit for Ryou by now.
Usually, though, he is greeted by either a horny Bakura pouncing on him and licking neck erotically or by silence. This time, it is neither.
"Hey, guess what Ryou-kun!" Set—no, Ryou reminds himself, it's really Jou, isn't it?—Jou yells in greeting from Ryou's couch. " There's a murderer after us so we're gonna do some weird dark magic at your house. That's okay, isn't it?"
Ryou calmly surveys the sight before him. A very haggled-looking Yuugi sulking in the corner, an attractive woman setting up some candles, Seto looking very serene—no, that wasn't the right, was it? Calmly murderous is better—and Mokuba is sleeping on his lap. Mokuba is gonna be very attractive later on, Ryou notes with amusement.
"Bakura let you in? I'm surprised. Where is he anyway?" Ryou asks, putting down his purchases on the kitchen table.
"Oh, he went upstairs with my grandchildren," the woman answers smoothly. She pauses for a moment in her setup to look at him. "If he lays one finger in Jade-chan or Faye-chan I'm going to turn him into a giant dildo." She follows she this up with a friendly smile, and resumes placing her candles.
Ryou runs at full speed to the bedroom. He doesn't even stop to wonder why a woman of her age has grandchildren.
"No, silly! That thing doesn't go in there! It's too big, and I although I usually force things in—I am a sadist and destructive bastard, despite my gentle appearance—but I don't want to break anything. It won't be the same after that." Ryou recognizes Bakura's voice, and his eyes go wide. He opens the door slowly, afraid of what he's going to find.
He happens upon something he really did not expect.
"Bakura! I didn't know you knew how to build model dinosaurs." Ryou approaches carefully and gazes approving at the half-built T-rex on the table. "That's great!"
He expects some kind of condescending response from Bakura, but he doesn't get anyway. Instead he looks at his lover to see him glaring angrily. "Where the hell's my porn, bitch?" One of the girls stifles a laugh with her hand.
"Hey! Don't call me your bitch!"
By this time they're all sitting around Sanouke's expertly drawn pentagram, and she's given everyone their own personal candle and a bead to hold. Seto and Katsuya are seated in the middle facing each other. Katsuya surveys his own feature curiously for what will be the last time—not counting just about every morning when he looks in the mirror. His face looks tense and serious; definitely not how he looks when he wakes up. There's a frown playing on his brow, and Katsuya reaches out to brush it away, as if it's a fly on his sandwich.
Seto in turn looks at him. He looks so calm, and almost happy, and he realizes again how unhappy Kaiba Seto normally is. When Katsuya reaches over to relieve him of his frown, Seto can't help but smile. How did he end up with the blonde, really? The silly, idiotic, always hungry, always broke, always smiling Jounouchi Katsuya? He's Seto's personal happy pill, big purple elephants and all—occasionally.
"Are you two ready?" Sanouke asks them, and they each are snapped out of their reverie.
"Yeah."
"Yes."
So she begins the chant. Both Katsuya and Seto aren't really listening. Either that, or they can't hear much. It's all kind of muffled.
"So, how was life as the infamous Kaiba Seto?" Seto asks airily, as if he couldn't care less. Katsuya knows him well enough to realize that he cares a little more than he's letting on, though.
"Seto, I am in no way jealous of you anymore," Katsuya replies sincerely. "If you are always stalked by rabid fangirls like that . . . .well, I have a newfound respect for you, Seto-chan."
"You're implying you didn't have respect for me to begin with." Now, Katsuya knows quite well Seto is smart when it comes to technology . . . and language . . . and science . . . okay, yeah he's smart in just about anything. But it's different respecting someone because they know stuff and respecting someone because they put up with fangirls. One is respect and the other is OMFGLWspazRESPECTMEDAMNIT!
"I would never imply such a thing! Do you think so low of me?" Seto's not dense enough to think Katsuya is serious, so he glances at him warily, and tells him as nicely as possible to shut his trap.
"How was a day in the life of Jou-kun?" Katsuya counters, fully expecting for Seto to answer sarcastically or roll his eyes.
"Bah. You never have money, Katsuya. I never thought I'd miss a omnipresent cash flow until I no longer had it." Seto does right then the closest thing Katsuya has ever seen to a pout.
"SETO-CHAN! You're so bloody kawaii!" He wants to hug the now-blondie, but every move feels as if he's going through jello. Not fun, and not easy. He gives up and sticks with kawaii.
"You're an idiot, Katsuya-chan."
"You know, Seto . . . you're still wearing that school girl outfit. I can see your panties." Seto pulls down his skirt as far as it will go and blushes prettily.
They don't say a whole lot after that, and just listen to the far-off sounding voice of the others. Everyone seems to have joined in with Sanouke. Katsuya and Seto can't rightly say they're very interested. If they had ever wanted to know some magicky spells, they would have learned some by now.
Then they pass out, for one reason or another, and in case you don't know, that usually means you can't hear anything. And so, they missed the action.
What action? Did a bear actually come through Domino wrecking havoc on innocent bystanders and random drug dealers? No, I must admit, that did not occur. You know a bear would not run through Domino because, really, it would be more scared of the people than they would be of it. Unless he was starving and a girl happens to be wearing a revealing skirt. I've heard schoolgirl legs are quite scrumptious.
Did aliens come down to Earth like Anzu claims and take Yuugi and Honda up to their spaceships because of their odd pointy hair? No, they did not. Yuugi would probably shoot them down with the secret guns he has hidden in those purple locks of his. You know they're in there. You really think that little kid defeats villains with cards? Psh, not likely.
You see, you remember that irksome topic of a murderer that popped up a little while ago? And how he was trying to kill Katsuya and Seto, and all? Well, in case you didn't, now you know.
Well, he decided to pay them a surprise visit. And completely trashed Ryou's place by running around chasing after everyone with a large morningstar. If I had been there, I would not have run, no siree. I would have asked him where the hell he managed to get a morningstar from. The only morningstar I've ever seen was in Neverwinter Nights, and as sane people all know, Neverwinter Nights is completely real, so they hog all those fancy weapons to themselves.
But I was not there, alas.
And so they ran, and the stranger trashed. Eventually he got really tired, and went into the kitchen to look for something to eat. On his way there he caught sight of the porno magazines which Bakura had left there for later use.
He gets a nosebleed and sits down to read them.
"Hey!" Bakura yells indignantly. "Those are mine! Get your grubby hands off!" Now, while the others were running—sans Katsuya and Seto because as I said they were still passed out—Bakura was just sitting by them, guarding them. For some reason the stranger—who we will now call Angel because that happens to be his name—knew instinctively not to mess with the sadistic Bakura, and ran after everyone else.
But now he's gotten Bakura pissed off. Bakura approaches him like a . . . a ravenous bear looking for an arm to nibble one. And he promptly throws him out a nearby window, which makes the others wonder why he didn't do that to begin with.
"Hey, who wants to watch some Azumanga Daioh?" Ryou asks conversationally, and everyone agrees promptly, expect for Bakura. He has a secret crush on Chiyo-chan, and Ryou tends to tease him about it incessantly whenever they watch it, so he says he'll be in his room. He snatches the magazines out of Jade's sneaky hands and stomps off.
Ryou wonders if he should follow and try and cheer . . . and then he remembers what Bakura's definition of 'cheer up' is, and quickly changes his mind.
While they are all crowded around Ryou's television set, Katsuya and Seto groggily awaken.
"What the hell?" Katsuya murmurs, holding his head. He has the worst headache, and he knows he hasn't gotten drunk lately. Then he remembers the last few days, and looks down quickly at his hands.
They're big and tanned and wonderfully, amazingly, deliciously his. "Oh, how I've missed you," he purrs, rubbing his hands across his face in his happiness. "This is the best moment of my life."
"Hey!" Seto snaps huffily from about a foot away. "My hands aren't that bad, damn it."
"But you're so whimsy, Seto-chan! You don't get out enough." He grins playfully as he says this, wondering if Seto will take the bait.
He doesn't, not quite. Instead he frowns, and crosses his arms. "Big, strong hands are overrated, in any case."
Katsuya takes this as an invitation, and crawls over to him on all fours. "How about I change your mind." He loves the sight of Seto, having been robbed of it for quite a bit. The dark brown hair Katsuya suspects Seto takes too much care of; those introverted blue eyes that gaze at him as if from miles off, that pale skin that Katsuya is just dying to redden.
Yum.
Seto finds himself laying on his back quite suddenly, with Katsuya leaning over him, that willful golden hair framing his face, which shows an expression that is just as obstinate as his hair. Katsuya's planning on having his way with Seto whether he wants to or not.
Bah, Katsuya is lucky Seto doesn't mind too much.
Seto likes the flutter he gets in his stomach when Katsuya leans over presses his lips into Seto's in a tame kiss. He also likes the way he doesn'tblush now that he's in his rightful body. Not even when Katsuya's hands slide gently up his torso. Oh yes, he remembers vaguely, Katsuya's supposed to be convincing him of something.
It doesn't matter what, as long as he keeps nibbling on Seto's lower lip.
"Seto-nii-sama!" A voice cries from the background, and suddenly Katuya's lovely warmth is ripped from him.
"Guys, not on my floor, okay? I just got carpet installed." Ryou is hanging over the two of them, and Honda was the one who pulled Katsuya away. The puppy looks . . . well, like a puppy who has been caught rummaging from the food in the bottom cupboard in the kitchen. If he was actually a dog his tail would be between his legs.
He's still blushing prettily, though, and Seto can't help but smirk. Instead of answering, he stretches his arms back, and yawns, arching his back slightly as he does so. "It's so nice to be Kaiba Seto, again."
Eventually everyone is evacuated from Ryou's apartment, leaving him to practically rebuild it. They all pass the broken body of Angel below, who's playing an eventful game of poker with an old man from next door. "Whoo-hoo-hoo," the old man cries as he slams down his card. "Looks, like I'm the winner, young one!"
Seto rolls his eyes in Angel's direction. He has a very low opinion of gamblers.
Eventually they decide to disperse, Honda towards his own house, Katsuya with Sanouke and the fangirls, and Seto and Mokuba to their mansion. Seto and Katsuya exchange glances before they head their own directions. This glance means that Seto is expecting Katsuya over ASAP, sans the skirt, and Katsuya's returning glance means that hekind of likes the skirt (it sets off his eyes, you see). Mokuba sees these glances, and asks hisonii-sama if he can stay at a friend's house for a while.
Days go by and Katsuya gets hungry, and stuffs his face.
Weeks go by and Seto makes a new and improved video game for little girls, which includes a lot of ice cream and lollipops and little detective girl that looks suspiciously like Katsuya.
Months go by and the fangirls move back to wherever they came from. Faye steals Yuugi from his grandfather, but it takes him about five hours to notice, and by that time they're all long gone. And so Yuugi sends them all a postcard from New York telling them that women in NYC are very open and attractive . . . even for a eighteen year old midget with purple hair. Apparently, he is very punk.
A few years pass by and Katsuya has moved in with Seto, and Mokuba has moved out. "I love you, Seto-nii-sama, but I love my sanity more."
A decade goes by and Honda has uncovered Otogi's secret weakness. He's extremely ticklish, and Honda uses this weakness shamefully and often.
Katsuya has found that he dislikes endings, which is probably one of the main reasons he never broke up with Seto. Endings are overrated, and smelly and they leave a bad taste on your tongue. No one likes endings, unless it's the end of a horrific and gruesome torture.
That's why Katsuya will at times start singing a song that hardly anyone has ever heard of:
Turn arooooooound
Look at what you seeeeeeeeeee
In her faaaaaace
The mirror of your dreeeeeeeeeeeeeams
Make believe I'm everywhere
Hidden in the lines
Written on the pages
Is the answer to our never ending stoooooooooryyyyy
ahhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh
Reach the staaaaaaars Show no feeeeeeear
Fly a fantasyyyyyy
Dream a dreeeeeeeeeeeeam
And what you see will beeeeeeeeeee
Rhymes that keep their secrets
Will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon a rainbow
Is the answer to our never ending stoooooooryyyyyyyyyy
ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh
For she may fade awaaaaaaaaay
In your haaaaaaand
The birth of a new daaaaaaaaaaaay
Rhymes that keep their secrets
Will unfold behind the clouds
And there upon a rainbow
Is the answer to ourNEVER ENDING STOOOOOOOOORYYYYYYY
ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh
Never ending stooooooryyyyyyyyy
ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh
Never ending stooooooryyyyyyy . . .
Fin.
Thank you reviewers for giving me the most reviews of all my stories. Most of you will probably have to look back on your reviews now, heh.
(x)Icy Sapphire15: Well . . . there was kind of a plot. They're trying to get their bodies back? (btw, I cry whenever Hughes dies too.) Thank you for reviewing a bunch (NOT ANNOYING) since very early on and for wishing me a happy birthday!
(x)AnimeJunky: You were my first real reviewer and YOU'RE STILL HERE! Thank you to pieces! Your reviews were definitely amusing, heh. Thank'ee for wishing me a happy birthday!
(x)Katsu Kitsune: FREE POCKY, YAY! Thank'ee for wishing me a happy birthday! Huzzah, people care! I'm glad you liked the story.
(x)Harbringer of Doom: I'm glad you were looking forward to Mokuba's state of being kidnapped, xD
(x)Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel: I'm not so much of a Zorro fan. HAHA! YOU CAN'T THINK NOW BECAUSE OF ME! –laughs maniacally- I love you, too.
(x)setokaibalover25: I'm glad you didn't crush me. I like myself alive and well.
(x)Growing Pain: Mokey's a tough cookie. Being kidnapped didn't faze him a bit. I agree with you about me having a twisted mind, though. And I love it. (Don't let the rabid Anzu fans know but she annoys me too!)
(x)Ranma Higurashi: Fangirlstendto bederanged. Scary.
(x)Hikaru Riku: Don't kill me! No dating of Yuugi & a fangirl. Yes, leave it to Seto to find the romance in gory Battle Royale. xP
(x)Ryou's obsessed fan: Perverted is the new hipster.
(x)Rosepedal: Correction: Seto-kun and Katsu-kun love the kinky stuff.
(x)Killian: Yeah, the best parts in The Notebook were when the two of them break up the first time & the extra sex scene. xP I just started Battle Royale! Yikes. I'm only on page 75 & I've started crying.
(x)Lily Bob: Yes, I gave Honda a better, perverted personality. Either that or I just gave him lots and lots of hormones, which amounts to just about the same thing! I love Honda, I really do. He's like my knight and his pointy hair is his lance. No Otogi, though, sorry!
Thank you for putting this story on your favorites/alert lists:
AnimeJunky
Harbringer of Doom
Hikari Riku
Kawaii Chibi Kitty Angel
LilyBob
Riku Muraki
Rosepedal
Ryou's obsessed fan
SchizThePlushieThief
Sweet Drop of Lemon
CrossBladez
Growing Pain
Katsu Kitsune
Kawaiilover300
Killian
Did I say thank you?
May dreams of Katsuya and Seto making out make your sleep loverly.