A/N: Thank you to all who reviewed the last chapter. I though I would write a second part to Time Standing Still, even though it was to be a one shot story. I wanted to do this chapter in Sara's point of view. I know that I am not the best speller or writer, but I do my best. So I do hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the last one! Thank you! Jenn Sidle
Time Standing Still
Looking down at my hands all covered in blood I knew this all had to be a horrible nightmare. How could any of this be real? There is so much fear in your eyes, as you hold me tight. I can feel the life slipping away from me. This can't be the end for me. Even with all the fear and pain running through me, I feel so safe in your arms.
The years came flooding back to me, as if I was asleep in a dream. I still remember the first day I saw you. I was there to investigate one of your friends, but with that smile of yours, you made me feel right at home. We became close and I could not be more thrilled to know such a wonderful man. Even when I told you that I had feelings for Grissom, I could see it in your eyes that it broke you heart, but you were still there for me 100. Our friendship grew even more once I knew I could truth you. We are like brother and sister now and I could not be happier.
This night was like any other night. Nothing seemed to be any different. But if I only knew then what I know now, I would have told you all the things I may never get to say. But then you all would have though I had lost it and would just give me that smile and nod that you all do when I get like that.
It all happened to fast. It did not even seem real. We went to the scene, like we all ways do. It was all clear, or so that's what they said. We entered the room and began to do our work. We talked about nothing important, or so I would have though then, but now looking back it might be the last we will ever have again. No one seemed to realize that there was a back door leading in. The man who had killed his wife and ran decided to come back again. None of us heard him come in and we never though twice. But then it was to late; he had the gun on you. I knew something was wrong when you went silent. As I turned and saw the sight, I pulled my gun as fast as I could without thinking twice. As he held the gun to your head, I had never felt so scared in my life before.
"Mr. Simons you don't want to do this." Is all I remember saying, as I held my gun tight. The sight in front of me will always be burnt into my mind. A mad man, who has already kill, now holds my friend with nothing to lose. If only I would have turned around and saw him coming none of this would be happening.
I told him that I could help him if he only put the gun away. No one moved or even seemed to breath what felt like an eternity, but in fact was only a few minutes. My words seemed to affect the man as he loosened up his grip. You knew that this was your chance and took action. You rammed your elbow into his gut making him loose the grip he had on you. As you try to get away he pushes you hard and you fell back into the glass table. As you fell he raised his gun, so I had no other choice but to fire at him. Three shots were fired, it happened too fast. The next thing I knew, the man was falling to the ground. You got to your feet as quickly as you could, but I never took my gun off the fallen man.
My one shot hit exactly where it was ment to, right through the heart. As you check the man, the pain hits me. You turn to me with the same realization in your eyes. As my knees give out, I fall to the ground. You race to my side and hold me tight. You push back my jacket and reveal a horrible sight. The man's two shots had found me one in the stomach and one in the cheats. Why was this happening? Why? That was what was running through my head as you tried to stop the bleeding.
I remember hearing you yell for help. The pain was taking over and I find it hard to focus. I can hear the two other men in the room. Brass must have come rushing in after the shorts were fired. As you hold me tight I can he Brass saying that there was a CSI down and they needed an ambulance right way.
The pain is getting worse now, I have never been so afraid. You have always been so strong, but looking down at me, it looks like you're about to break. It is getting harder to breath now and you start to cry. You tell me to hold in there and that help is on the way. I look up into your eyes and I have never seen them like that before. I ask you if your ok, I am just so worried for you. I can feel myself crying as tears fall down my face. "Nicky I am so cold. Please don't let me go." I just want to close my eyes and sleep, but I hear you tell me that I am strong and that I have to fight for you and the others.
The others, oh god. We were like a family. We loved each other in our own special way. I always looked up to Catharine. We may not have gotten along all the time, but I only wish that I turn out to be even a half of as great of a person as Catharine is. Warrick, I love that guy. We may have started off on the wrong foot, but soon he became my family and opened my eyes to so many great things. Grissom, my heart will always belong to him, even if his is not mine. He taught me to love again and to not cut myself off from the ones who love me. And Greg, oh god Greg. He is the sweetest person I have ever met. I am so happy that he became a CSI. I have never been so proud of anyone that much before.
I can hear talking around me, but I am unable to make out what anyone is saying. The pain is taking over now and I am slowly slipping into the darkness. I try to fight it off, but even my stubbiness is no match. My eyes grow heavy as you hold me tight. The last thing I remember before falling into the darkness was being taken out of your arms.
I slowly start to wake up. Had it all been a horrible dream? Nothing that had happened felt real. It was all in my head, I must have just finished a triple shift and that is why I was having these nightmares. But once my eyes were fully opened, is when the harsh reality came crashing back. I was in a room, with many people about. I have never felt so alone before as I did then. The pain was so over whelming that I just wanted to cry, but I stopped myself. Then one of the doctors looked over to me and realized that I had woken. He asked the others to leave the room. "Ms. Sidle I need you to take it easy please." The young doctor had such a sad look in his eyes. "You have been in an accident at a crime scene, you were shot twice. We have tried everything to fix the damage that was done…" He posed and looked me in the eyes. Pain and fear ripped through my body. What was he trying to tell me? "…Truth is we never even though you would wake up again. I am so sorry but there is nothing left we can do." His words brought my whole life to a stop. All my hopes, all my dreams would never happen. This can not be real. Tears wall in my eyes as I try to voice my fears, but nothing would come out at first. I found it had to breath "I am dying?" Did though word really coming out of my mouth? "Yes Ms. Sidle, I am so sorry." The doctor looked away once these words came out of his mouth. So mush was running through my head, I could not get anything straight. "Ms. Sidle your friends are all here and would like to see you. I will bring them in. Please save your strength. And if there is anything we can do, please let us know." The doctor got up and left the room. Anything they can do? Why can't they save me then? I had never felt so alone in my life.
I felt so tired and all I wanted to do is close my eyes and sleep. I fight off the pain and try to be brave. The last moments of my life were going to be that hardest. Saying goodbye to my family forever, I never though I would ever have to do this. They had touched me in so many ways. I was more scared of never seeing them again then dying.
Each of you came in one by one and said your good-byes. I could see it in your eyes how much it hurt to do this, you all were trying to be so brave for me, but each of you left crying. You were the last one to come in. It was so hard for me to see all that pain in your eyes. "Nicky?" I ask even though I knew it was you. The room felt like all the life had left it. I was once so full of life, but now I could barely keep my eyes open. As you come close I try to be strong, but I am fading fast. You tell me that you are there for me. I smile weakly as you place you hands in mine. I tell you "it is going to be ok", with my voice just above a whisper. "It does not hurt anymore. I am just a little cold and scared that's all" As tear now flow down my face, I can't believe this is the end. "Sara you can't give up, you are going to make." I had always been a fighter, but I had nothing left in me. I look into your eyes "You've got to go on Nick." I can't believe I am telling you this. I can see it in your eyes, how much this is hurting you. "I can't go on without you Sara." Tears are rolling down your face as you say these words. It is getting harder for me to talk but I go on"You've got so much to give Nick. None of this was your fault, so never think that. Take care of them Nick. You need each other now." I was talking barely above a whisper now. "No" You were trying to be so strong but I could see you were falling apart inside. "Yes" I gasp for a breath, not having much left in me. "Promise me, promise me Nicky." You just nod. You lift my hand and kiss it gently. My eyes slowly close as I no longer have the fight left in me and a single tear rolls down my face. "I'll always be with you."With those words I slip away into the brilliant light.
My life have been shorter then I may have wanted, but I know I was loved. I could not have asked for a better life. Yes not all of my live was great, but those hard times lead me to the wonderful life and family that I had in the end.
Nicky , you made me a promise that day and I know that you kept your word and that you will till the you day and we get to meet again. I watch over you all now. You could say I am all of yours guardian angel. I am so happy that Catherine and Warrick got together. That beautiful life that is growing inside of Catherine is going to have her mother's great looks and her father's kind heart. I can't believe what a great CSI that Greg became. He would have given me a run for my money. And Greg, when you ask if I would have been proud of you, the answer is yes! I have never been so proud of anyone, the way I am proud of you! I only wish I had that chance with Grissom. I still can't believe the day he told you how much he loved me. It brought a smile to my face. I just hope he knows how much I still love him.
Every time to come to visit me Nick, I hope you know that I am there with you. You always bring me Lilies. You knew that they were my favorite flower. I just hope you know that every time you feel the wind blow throw your hair, that is me. I will always be with you Nicky. Always in your heart. And one day in the very distant future we will be together again. I will always have a spot up here in heaven for you.
Sara Sidle
Loved by all who knew her.
September 14, 1973 – May 10, 2005
The End!
A/N: I do hope that was ok. I know it was a little differently written then the last chapter. I did my best and thank you for reading it! You rock! Jenn Sidle