Hollywood Jack
By Teri

Summary: What can I say? This is a hard one to describe. Sam is stunned by whom Cassie is watching on television and wants to know what Jack thinks about it too. (Stargate/Joan of Arcadia Crossover) COMPLETE

Story Notes: Scenes from Joan of Arcadia as played on Cassie's TV set are taken directly from transcripts of the show. They are not the product of my odd imagination. For the record, I have never even seen Joan of Arcadia mainly because of its time slot in my area.

Spoilers: Fragile Balance & Light for Heroes - Part 2; Set in season 8 because of rank.

Disclaimer: They aren't mine, no harm is intended to the copyright holders.

Cassie was sitting on the couch with her feet propped-up catching up with her favorite TV show. She could tell you that she loved the premise or that it was a funny show, but she had another reason for it being her "can't miss" favorite. There was something -something about the actor who played Luke, something familiar, and she just couldn't resist watching him on screen every time she could.

Jack was upstairs in his bedroom getting read for his big date and she knew Sam would be coming over. She rolled her eyes. She was 17; she was capable of being on her own, but she understood why they were being a little over protective of her. She pushed that thought aside as she heard Sam at the door and got up to let her in.

She hugged Sam and went back to the couch just in time as the commercial ended. She turned her attention to the show.

Luke: Selling sheep but the whole system is irrelevant after dialectical mathematics. I'm like, Friedman, the Egyptians weren't about selling sheep-- oh--oh and the Greeks think they're so hot with their--with their logical displays of true or false, but let's face it, algorithmic mathematics were not replaced by the dialectical system, and there's a very good reason for that.

Cassie stopped as she heard Sam gasp. She looked shocked.

"They get it wrong?" she asked not understanding the problem.

Sam waived her off, apparently wanting to watch the show too, which was kind of odd in and of itself.

Joan: You are never, ever gonna get a girlfriend.

Luke: No, no, that's not the point. The point is I'm right about algorithmic mathematics.

Joan: Great. So ask Isaac Newton to the prom.

Luke: Sure, if he was a girl...and alive.

Joan: You know, he actually looked a lot like a girl.

Luke: Hey, hey. Don't bag on "the newt".

When the next break came, Cassie looked over at Sam.

Sam realizing the problem, "he, ah, Luke? Just looks like someone I know. Can we see more of scenes with him in it?"

"Oh, okay."

"Hey Carter," Jack called as he entered the room.

"Sir," she managed with a straight-face before she looked up at him all dressed his dress blues. He sure looked sharp. She couldn't help but smile now.

Jack gave her an odd look as he walked into the other room to finish getting ready.

Meanwhile Cassie, was forwarding the tape to another episode which had a lot of Luke in it, "I set up another episode."

Sam sat down next to Cassie to watch as they could hear Jack puttering around in the background.

Luke - Polynomial flashcards for the Trimathatons meet. I mean, calculus, trigonometry, and the real bad boy-- probability theorem.

Sam couldn't help but giggle hearing those words come out of that mouth no matter what his age.

Helen is looking at students' notes to write them slips to get back into class.

Helen: First of all, Eminem's birthday does not count as a religious holiday, and second, his birthday was October 17, so you have to come to school.

Luke: I need a maternal dispensation.

Helen: For what?

Luke: To drink coffee.

Helen: Our agreement was no coffee until you could shave.

Luke: My trimathelon is this afternoon.

Helen: Waiting for the relevance.

Luke: Caffeine is a proven smart drug. It opens up the vascular system in the brain. Mom, none of the other competitors have to ask their mom if they can drink coffee. Of course, most of them are seniors who shave. If I medal in this trimathelon, it's $30,000 towards a scholarship at M.I.T.

Helen: Fine. For 30 grand, drink coffee.

Luke: Plus unlike most of the competitors, I need a ride home from the event.

Helen: Won't the cheering crowd bear you home upon their shoulders?

Luke: You're mocking.

Sam didn't know what to think as the scene ended and she heard Jack behind her. Cassie looked up at him then giggled at the way Jack was staring at the screen. "He likes Mary Steenburgen, she plays the mom, Helen. He makes me watch the third 'Back to the Future' at least once a week just to see her."

"Do Not."

"Do Too!"

"Not."

"Too"

"Not."

Cassie rolled her eyes, "still, I've never been able to get him to watch this show with me. He said he's the wrong demographic." The phone started ringing and Cassie made a mad dash hoping that it was Andrew calling.

Sam looked to make sure Cassie was out of listening range. "Sir? Did you know that mini-you was out in Hollywood working as an actor?" Carter asked carefully.

"Did I know?" Jack repeated. "How would I know? We agreed not to keep in contact."

Both turn as Jack's doorbell began to ring. Jack dismissed the conversation. "That will be my date for the night. Thanks again for switching nights with me to stay with Cass."

"It is my pleasure, I like spending time with her," Sam smiled.

Jack strolled over picked up his keys and opened his door. There was a man in a black suit holding a big umbrella for Jack to walk under.

Sam couldn't help but stare out the door as she saw a long stretch limousine further down the walk. As the door closed, she heard the man she assumed to be the driver say, "General O'Neill, Ms. Steenburgen is waiting in the car. She was quite pleased that her co-star was able to persuade you to escort her while in Colorado Springs."

Jack turned to around and winked at Sam with a smile, "night Carter, don't wait up!" With that he turned and walked to the limousine with a small skip in his step.

Hope y'all enjoyed this short little-one as much as I did.

Teri