After fruitlessly attempting to drift back into slumber Lily Evans - the woman everyone expected to soon take the name of Lily Bagnold - pushed the plush duvet off of her creamy legs and placed her feet delicately into the slippers that waited beside bed. Haphazardly she made her way into the bathroom. Leaning over the porcelain tub her long, lithe fingers turned the taps on, allowing hot, steamy water to cascade like a waterfall into the bath.

While waiting for her bath to fill Lily turned her attention to the mirror which faced her. Taking the brush, which always lay faithfully upon the window sill, she began to neaten her hair; Lily's hair was beautiful. It was dark red, like the centre of a deep crimson rose, and was so silky soft it felt like moisturized skin. Placing the brush back in its rightful place, her emerald gaze lingered over the reflection of her face.

She was eighteen years of age and already had the beauty and maturity of a young woman. Her eyes were almond shaped and sparkled a most ravishing shade of green, while her complexion was light and creamy but on the bridge of her nose a few well placed freckles lay, adding to her allure.

She smiled at her image - a horrible fake smile, showing all of her perfectly straight, white teeth - a solitary tear leaked from the corner of her eye and ran its way down her left cheek.

Why did she hate herself so much? She was pretty and smart...no that was wrong...she wasn't smart, Andrew told her frequently of how he had a superior intellect due to the fact he was the Minister for Magic's son...and obviously Lily was not that attractive, I mean how many times had her future fiancée reminded her that he could have had any girl? And that the only reason he remained with Lily was because she needed him and would be unable to find another man to take her...

Squinting back the water that had about to freely leave her eyes, Lily stopped the taps running and removed her night wear. Pulling off her top she revealed the long scar which ran along her abdomen...it was the memento of the first argument she had, had with Andrew, he had gotten so mad at her for talking to an old friend that the moment they were out of the public's watchful eye he had turned on her...she winced at the recollection of how her scar had originated...

Andrew and Lily had been walking through Diagon Alley, reporters and photographers were surrounding them - they all wanted to know who the young witch was that had managed to catch the attention of the Minister for Magic's eldest son. Lily still blushed at the thought of being splattered all over the wizarding world but it would be the price she paid for her relationship with Mister Bagnold.

He held her hand tightly, which she suspected was due to the fact he had such deep feelings for her. However her eyes lit up when she saw her companion from Hogwarts - Hestia Jones and she waved her free arm. Once Andrew noticed his girlfriend was waving frantically at someone, that was not him, he squeezed her petite hand harder, causing her bones to cross. She winced and turned away from her friend.

That should have been the first sign, reminisced Lily, they had been going out a month and already he was becoming possessive.

After they had finally lost the reporters Andrew ruffled his sandy coloured hair and led her into a small cafe. He sat her down at a table in the corner of the room then left to go and order their lunch - he hadn't even asked her what she would like.

The door opened again and in walked three men. One had un-tameable black hair, the other was very pale with sparkling blue eyes and the third had long black hair and grey orbs reflecting mischief. They spotted Lily and all three of them grinned and rushed over to her.

"Lily!" the raven-haired man yelled. She glanced up at the new comers and her red, pouting lips curved into a smile - her first genuine smile since she'd left Hogwarts a month before.

"James!" she squealed and rushed up to him, he enveloped her in a warm embrace, then realizing people were watching them she broke away and turned her attention to the paling man"Remus, good to see you." He nodded soberly and grinned at the vivacious redhead in front of him. Then Lily pushed the two out the way so she could see the long haired male,

"Sirius Black!"

He grinned cheekily "Lily, Lily Lilykins!"

She shook her head at his nickname for her "You will never change"

"Hey!" the three men yelled.

"...I never said it was a bad thing, y'know."

"Aw, she loves us really!"

James smiled sadly. He and Lily had been dating in their seventh year but she had broken it off with him just before graduation, saying she didn't want to tie him or herself down outside of school; James was still grieving for his loss, but his bravado covered his true feelings.

"Ahem"

A voice behind them made the group turn around. They came face to face with a very nettled looking Andrew.

"Andy, Sweetie, this is Remus Lupin - my old Arithmancy partner, Sirius Black - the guy who copied my Divination notes and James Potter - my ex buh-boyfriend. They are my friends from Hogwarts; they used to name themselves' The Marauders"

Andrew snorted and the Marauders, who'd met the man with smiling expressions, now glared at the angry wizard in front of them.

"That's very nice, Lillian, but remember my name is Andrew not Andy. I do not like my name shortened."

James glanced at his friends, they were going to have some fun.

Sirius was the first to speak "Well Andy, Lilykins, we're gonna be joining you seeing as all the other tables are gone!"

Andrews face stiffened as the three Marauders conjured chairs and joined them at the table, Remus rose "I'm going to get us something to eat. What do you two want?" He asked Sirius and James.

"Ooh I'll have tomato soup," grinned Sirius.

"I'll just have a slice of chocolate cake, thanks Moony."

Remus nodded and left the table.

"So, Andy, what do you do for a living?" asked Sirius.

Andrew looked scandalized"Excuse me? But do you not know who I am?"

"Andrew?" threw in James as a guess.

Sirius chortled and Lily giggled slightly but ceased at the gaze she received from her boyfriend.

"He's the Minister Bagnold's son, Sirius." cut in Lily her emerald orbs staring at her to friends.

"Oh, cool," said Sirius.

Andrew smirked"And what do you do? I mean, surely you. like Lillian, have only just left school."

James grinned at Lily's full name.

"Auror training" answered Sirius innocently.

Lily's eyes widened"Oh I'd love to be an Auror."

Sirius smiled"Well the training starts in two weeks, if you send an application like now you might get in!"

Lily thought however Andrew spoke for her"No, Lillian, we have spoken about this, an Auror is a dangerous occupation, and it is not for women such as you. Besides you don't need to work if you have me."

James frowned but did not speak, it was no longer his place to defend Lily, so to lighten the mood he told them about his job offer"Well I'm going to play for the Chudley Cannons!"

Lily smiled her dazzling smile, showing her perfect teeth"Wow James that's amazing, are you still playing Chaser!"

James grinned at seeing his ex-girlfriend's face light up"You bet, Tiger!"

Not liking the interaction that was happening between Lily and James, Andrew spoke up "We'll have to come see you play someday." He knew secretly that would never permit Lily to see a Quidditch match with James Potter playing.

"Ah, yeah that'd be boss! You can see my new improved skills."

"I'm sure Lily remembers your broomstick skills, James" grinned Sirius wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Lily blushed while James smirked at the obvious obliviousness of Andrew.

However a confrontation was avoided as Remus sat down and smiled warmly - completely unaware of the fact the tension on the table was as thick as a concussed troll.

No one spoke, and Lily was desperately attempting to stop herself laughing, she was working so hard to hold it in that her complexion had turned the colour of strawberries and cream. James noticed and had to avert his hazel stare to the wall as surely he would begin to chortle if he caught her eye.

"Here you go m'dears." A grey-haired witch placed two bowls of meat stew in front of Lily and Andrew then proceeded to serve up the Marauders food. Lily bent down and sniffed into the bowl.

"Is this meat, Andrew?" she questioned.

"Yes, Emerald, it is." he answered and began to eat his stew.

"Well Andrew, Sweetie, we've been through this. I'm a vegetarian."

"Yes, but Lillian it isn't healthy not to eat meat."

"Actually it's healthier being a vegetarian, that way your arteries don't become clogged with fat!"

James looked up from his cake. Who was this guy to dictate what she ate?
Lily pushed bowl away and crossed her arms over her chest. Everyone at the table looked at her.

"Lillian, don't waste the food."

"I don't eat something that was once breathing."

"Look, Lillian, they went through all that trouble and I went through the process of carefully selecting that stew so you will eat it."

"No, I will not." Everyone at the table beside Andrew seemed to know that Lily's infamous redhead temper was flaring.

"Don't be a child Lillian." he chided.

"I am not being a child; I am merely expressing a dislike to the slaughter of animals!"

"Well it is going to get eaten and as you are the only one here without a meal it looks like you're the one that will eat it!"

Lily's eyes flashed with anger and her back had become stiff, the Marauders were watching the lovers argument with great interest, James however would not stay silent much longer.

"Well, Lils, you still like Chocolate cake, right?" asked James, she looked up from her feet to James who was smiling warmly.

"You know it, Potter!" she grinned, the terms 'Potter' and 'Evans' had become more a thing of endearment rather than anger. He leant over the table and swooped his hands around the bowl, placed it in his space and replaced her stew with his half eaten cake, she smiled.

"Thanks, James". Andrew scowled.

Lily had taken two bites out of her cake when Andrew threw his spoon down into his now empty bowl. "Well I'm sorry to say gentlemen that we must take our leave." He placed his large hand around the top of Lily's minuscule arm "Come along, dear."

Lily looked like she was about to protest but his grip had become so tight that tears were forming in her beautiful eyes "Bye guys." she mumbled as he half-dragged her from the cafe.

Lily had not seen James since or Sirius or Remus for that matter, in-fact Lily no longer saw anyone from Hogwarts. How many times had she wished that she had told James she still loved him in that cafe? How many times had she wished she had never met her dominating boyfriend...?

Once they reached their room in a wizarding hotel named 'The Sleeping Hippogriff' Andrew turned on her.

"What in the name of Godric did you think you were doing, Lily?" his grey eyes were no longer emotionless but filled with anger and hatred, Lily also noticed had refrained from calling her by her full name in private.

She remained silent; she had only been dating him three weeks and had never seen him in a rage.

"Hello, Lily, answer me!" he thought for a second then maliciously added "maybe if I called you Lilykins you'd pay attention"

Her emeralds eyes snapped up to his face at the mention of her nickname. "Ah, c'mon you're not jealous are you?" she teased.

"Jealous? Are you really that dense Lily? Why on earth would I be jealous? I just do not want the public to see I am dating some tart who flirts with three other men during a pleasant lunch with their boyfriend!"

"I was not flirting! And for your information The Marauders and I have been friends for seven years!"

"Slightly more than friends by the looks of it!" he spat.

Her pale hand flew to her hair where she wrenched the bobble out of her red tresses allowing her locks to flow freely around her shoulders. "Why does that even matter, Andrew?"

"Why - why does it even matter?" he was choking on his own anger now.

"Oh, well done, you have the verbal skills of a parrot!" she mocked him.

"Why, you little slut!"

It had happened so quickly, he had pushed her down forcefully...tears filled her emerald pools at the thought of that day.

His hands were pushing into her shoulders violating her pale skin with large purple bruises, he had shoved her to the ground.

"Not to mention that you obviously slept with Potter...and here's me thinking you were a virgin...slapper!"

His foot, encased in a dragon hide boot, found her body and he kicked her brutally, her skin was turning black, her cheeks were red and tear stained. Once kicking her was not enough he raised his wand and muttered a curse under his breath. Pain seared across her abdomen and crimson stains were leaking through her white shirt.

Andrew watched as his girlfriend cowered, her red locks were matted with tears and were beginning to look limp as she had ran her bloody hands through it so many times. After five minutes of watching her whimper he reached out to take her hand, she cringed and shrunk further into a little ball, seeing she was not going to come easily he placed his hand around her arm - she shuddered - and pulled her up.

She seemed incapable of doing anything, anything accept standing or sitting and staring at the wall. He peeled off her clothes and dunked her in the empty bath, turning on the taps he allowed the water to wash away the blood and tears. She was just blinking her eyes were full of fear and pain.

When only bruises were the things marking her body he pulled her out the bath, at his touch she began to shake violently, but, she would not allow herself to weep again. No. She would show him how strong she could be.

Wiping away the water that streaked her face Lily turned off the taps and continued to undress. That memory had been her first beating but it had not been the last, Lily had stayed with Andrew, he'd apologized for his behaviour and told Lily that it was her fault. Her fault that she was now scarred, if she hadn't have flirted he wouldn't have had to punish her.

She finished undressing and stepped into the water; it was hot, too hot. But Lily did not care, in-fact she had meant for the water to scold her; this pain was the only type she had control of and on that thought her eyes swept over the little scars which littered the soles of her feet. As she stared at the silvery lines she smiled, she felt proud, they were her own doing, they were something she could say belonged to herself.

After lying in the water thinking about the times she had, had at Hogwarts with her friends she wished she could James, Sirius or Remus again...heck she'd even take Peter right about now, just to prove to her that Hogwarts had not been some fantasy she had cooked up in order to escape her excuse for an existence. At eighteen, Lily she not be having these feelings...at eighteen she should have been at parties with friends getting drunk, or training to be an Auror.

Pulling herself out of the water Lily wrapped her fluffy towel around her body and began to dry herself. Once her skin no longer held hostage to water droplets she gazed into her wardrobe...her clothes were all black or grey or white, Andrew now picked what she wore and would not allow her to dress as most teenagers did on the seventies era they were living in. After choosing a pair of straight legged trousers - black - and a long sleeved white shirt.

Lily pulled her hair up into a strict bun then allowed herself to look at her reflection. She closed her eyes, thinking she looked forty not eighteen. Sitting down at her vanity table her hand enclosed around a tub of creamy foundation, she layer it on her skin, masking her freckles and imperfects, then she applied a layer of crimson lipstick accompanied by a thick streak of brown eyeliner.

Perfect. She looked perfect. Like a doll, a little doll with no mind of her own, a little doll with porcelain cheeks that had been made by a machine allowing to bumps or scratches and certainly not allowing her any imperfections. As the face in the mirror gazed back at her a tear rolled its solitary way down her cheek.

Lily truly did not recognize the mirror image, in her head she was still that lively teen who allowed her fiery hair to flow around her shoulders, who had a twinkle in her emerald eyes, wore rainbow coloured tops and hip hugging jeans which were torn at the knees. Yes, that was Lily Evans...the woman in the mirror was a stranger, dead and unloved.

A voice penetrated her thoughts, it was deep and sent tingles of fear up her spine.

"Lily? Are you up here"

Inhaling deeply she plastered her best smiled upon her lips"Andrew, sweetie! How are you"

He smiled as his girlfriend peeked her head out the bedroom. "I'm fine Lillian." he answered curtly"now I must say that I cannot stay long, but I have come to drop off some money and tell you that you are joining me for dinner at Les Fee." He handed her a bag of gold "Now get a nice, smart dress and join me at seven o'clock exactly, I have to tell you something."

With that he kissed her emotionlessly on her cheek, dropped his copy of the Daily Prophet and disapperated with a whip crack.

Lily lazily allowed her eyes to wash over the paper and to her shock she saw a giant picture of James, Sirius, Remus and Peter, above the headline were the words:

Answer To the Cannons Prayers!

James Potter, can be seen above with his best friends, was celebrating last night due to the fact he has finally been taken off the bench and put into the game - and well, none could be disappointed by his skill...

The rest of the article was lost on Lily as hearing a play by play commentary of Quidditch was not of her liking, but seeing this made her smile...knowing James had achieved his goal made her so happy that not even the thought of spending the evening with Andrew could dampen her spirits. Picking up her money bag she tipped its contents into her purse, then apperated to Diagon Alley.

Her eyes roved around - she was looking for a dress shop, she knew that there was one around here somewhere. However her attention was grabbed when she heard the voices of two men in front of her.

"James, man, what was wrong with Tara? She was gorgeous, had beautiful red hair, blues eyes..."

"That was the problem" interrupted James.

"What" gaped Sirius"The fact she had blue eyes was a problem"

"Yeah, they weren't...green."

Sirius gazed at his friend "Green? I can't believe it...you're not gonna find another Lily Evans"

"I know..." muttered James"I can't help it, Pad...I love her...I always have done."

Lily smiled, water was once again filling her eyes, and she reached up and tapped his shoulder.

"Lily? Is that you"

She nodded.

"You look so different..." he looked at her, her clothes were conservative, boring and her eyes no longer glittered. She hung her head.

"Andrew prefers me like this."

James felt anger swell up in his throat. "You're still with that son of a Bludger then"

She nodded again and tears rolled down her face. "Please, James don't say such things about him!"

"Oh Lilykins, don't cry" Sirius lifted his hand to wipe away her waters of sorrow when she flinched.

"Oh, I'm sorry I know how crying in public embarrasses others..."

Sirius and James looked shocked to hear her say such a statement...but before they could question her she had disappeared with a quiet 'goodbye'. They both stood there, mouths open, neither understanding.

"Do you think that maybe she's being…y'know"

Sirius looked at him blankly.

"…abused."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow, "Come one, mate…"

"What do you mean?"

"Well you do have a playing the hero thing going on…and well, I think you want Lily to be unhappy in her relationship…so perhaps you two could get together…"

"But, you saw her…"

"Don't be thick, James, this is Lily -I'll rip your balls off if you mess with me- Evans"

"Yeah but, Pad, you saw how different she looked...we gotta find her"

"No, James." growled Sirius, "lets just go meet Remus and Peter…come on!"

They both apperated out of Diagon Alley, each knowing something was wrong with Lily; Sirius was not going to allow James to make his heart bleed again - the wound of Lily had sunk deeply and it had taken so long before James had been even willing to try with love again.

0x-

Author's Note: Ok, so this was up here before then got all deleted and stuff. Anyhoo I have done my sulking and now am returning to the world of fan fiction - I was in such a mood I couldn't bring myself to write anything fan fiction related but now as the saying goes 'The bitch is back'. I hope my wonderful readers return to me cause it was you guys that made me post this again. And I'm afraid I am no longer putting lyrics in my story as I will get told off if I do so.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, and am making no profit from this fan fiction - don't sue me.

Tasha xxx