The Courtship of Dogs and Men In Miniskirts.
Summary: Ed and Al meet another alchemist. Mustang is trying to woo Hawkeye, but everything keeps going wrong. And who's wearing a miniskirt and why?
Chapter 5: All For A Puppy.
Hello, don't have much to say except for thanks for the reviews. I enjoy reading them. Bye for now. I hope you enjoy the chapter.
Disclaimer: I don't own Full Metal Alchemist or any of its characters.
The Furher's Office.
Roy, Riza, and Havoc are standing before the Furher's desk; guilt strewn on their faces. Havoc and Roy are still in their boxers and their pants are draped over their arms. The Furher looked between the three attentive solders as he taped a pen on his chin. Words escaped him, I mean, what could he say.
He cleared his throat before putting the pen on the table, "I want to know what happened, why it happened, and I want to hear the truth. Now," he demanded, he was a little aggravated by the situation.
"She did it…sir," Havoc said as he pointed at Riza, "She stole our pants and made us wear miniskirts," he insisted, still pointing at the young woman next to him.
Riza gave him a dirty look, "I didn't make you do anything," she argued, though she knew that wasn't true.
"Now lieutenant, she couldn't have made you put on a skirt. What did she do, hold a gun to your head?" the Furher asked with a bit of a chuckle. It didn't seem as funny when Havoc and Mustang gave him a 'what do you think' look. He looked between the two men, then to Riza, "You did?" he asked, a smile spreading across his face.
Riza hung her head, but snapped it back up when she realized she should be at attention, "Yes sir," she answered quickly, thinking she was busted now.
The Fuhrer tried to hold back his laughter, but he was failing miserably, "Well, I think that you all have learned a valuable lesson today," he said as he tried to cover his mouth with his hand to hide the laughter and talk at the same time, "Do you know what that is?" he asked.
"Don't always go along with the Colonel's stupid plans?" Havoc said bitterly before glaring at Mustang.
"No," the Furher said as he shook his head.
"That women are people too and we shouldn't use them as sex objects?" Mustang asked as he thought about the poor woman in the miniskirt.
"No, but that's pretty good," the Furher said with a grin before looking at Riza, "Do you know Hawkeye?" he asked.
"That women are a force to be reckoned with and you should never tick them off?" Riza asked with a bit of a smile.
Havoc and Mustang rolled their eyes; they both thought she was way off.
"Exactly," the Furher agreed, causing both Havoc and Mustang to look at him, "Women are way out of a man's metal range of understanding. If you tick them off, you never know what they'll do. Now, get out of my office…and put on your pants. Dismissed," he said, hoping they would hurry and leave so that he could laugh. "Oh, except you Lieutenant Hawkeye," the Furher said as he waved Riza back into the office and Roy and Havoc left.
"Sir?" Riza asked as she approached the desk and stood at attention.
The Furher rubbed his chin, "First you manage to depants them, hid the afore mention pants in my desk, got them back from a Major, and ran them up a flagpole?" he asked, wondering if he had covered everything.
"Yes sir," Riza replied simply, no point in lying he had already caught her.
"In that case, do me a favor. The next time you come up with a genius plan that will get you in more trouble than you can imagine…let me in on it," the Furher said with a grin.
Riza looked at him with disbelief, "Really?" she asked, allowing a small sigh of relief to escape.
"Really," the Furher nodded. "Dismissed," he said as he motioned to the door.
Riza saluted before leaving the room.
Our Friendly Neighborhood Alchemist
Ed, Al, and Winry stood in silence after Alley had told them of her past. They didn't know what to say, it was really sad. Just then Ed began to chuckle a little, causing Winry to give him a dirty look.
"Brother, what's so funny about that?" Al asked, a bit offended by his brother's behavior.
Ed covered his mouth with his hand, "I'm sorry, but all of this is over one little puppy," he said as he tried desperately to muffle his laughter.
Al and Winry couldn't say anything. They felt so bad for Alley at this point. These were the first people she's confided in for a long time and Ed was laughing at her. Winry turned her head to look at Alley and apologized, but she was shocked at what she saw. Alley was laughing too.
"Alley?" Winry asked confused, wondering if the drugs the doctor gave her made her crazy.
"I'm sorry, but he's right. All of this is because of dog," Alley said as she too covered her mouth.
Winry was confused over all of this, but her confusion grew when she heard Al laughing as well. She snapped her head in the tin man's direction, "Al?" she asked in disbelief. It took a few minutes, but she couldn't hold it in anymore. She began laughing as well. "I guess it is kinda funny," she confessed before all of them broke out in an uncontrollable laughter.
It wasn't so much Alley story anymore. They had all had a very long few days and they all needed to have a good laugh. They were shortly interrupted by the sound of the door opening.
"Excuse me, I'd hate to interrupt, but may I see one of you in the hallway?" the doctor asked as he peeked his head into the room.
They all looked at him, confusion filled their faces. Ed and Winry looked at each other and with a nod got to their feet and headed to the door; leaving Al and Alley behind. Al and Alley watched as the door clicked shut. Al looked at it, hoping they would come back in quickly, he didn't feel very comfortable with being alone with Alley.
"I hope everything is ok," Alley said quietly, causing Al to go blue. He slowly turned and looked at her, but didn't say a word. Alley noticed the silence and sighed a little before looking away from him. "I feel bad that you guys are here. You shouldn't be wasting your time on someone like me. Why don't you guys just go home, I'll be alright," she said slowly, guilt lingered in her voice.
Al sighed a little as well. He wanted to tell her that he'd rather be there with her than anywhere else on earth, but the words wouldn't come, half because he didn't want to make her uncomfortable and half because he didn't want to be rejected. He looked to the door once more, praying that they would come back into that room soon. His attention snapped back to Alley when he heard her coughing uncontrollably.
"Alley!" he yelled worriedly. He looked at her, but didn't have any idea what he could do. He got to his feet and looked to the door, "Doctor! Come quick! Doctor!" he yelled as loud as he could as Alley continued her coughing.
The doctor ran into the room and right up to Alley. Ed and Winry walked into the room after him, but they didn't look too happy. Al walked up to them, wondering if something was wrong.
"Is she ok?" Winry asked as she motioned to Alley.
The doctor had her sitting up and drinking water, "She'll be just fine," he assured them as he rubbed Alley's back.
"For now anyway," Ed mumbled so that the doctor wouldn't hear him.
Al looked at him confused, "What do you mean Brother?" he asked, though his worry for Alley lingered in his voice.
Ed looked at Al apologetically, "The doctor told us how much it would cost for her medication and for her to stay here. Unfortunately, we don't have that kind of money and the military won't pay for it," he explained.
"We have enough for the medication, but we can't keep her here," Winry added, seeing how Ed really didn't want to continue.
Al looked a bit worried, "Well, what are we going to do then?" he asked as he motioned to Alley, "We can't leave her out there all alone. Besides, knowing her, she won't take the medication unless we're there to make her," he pointed out.
"I say we take her back to Resembool," Winry suggested, "This way she can stay at my house until she feels better."
Ed and Al looked at her, but they both felt pretty hopeless, "That would work, but she won't go," Ed said reluctantly.
"Yeah, she wouldn't go the first two times we asked her, remember?" Al reminded her.
"Well," Winry said as she took a deep breath, "Al, you and her are the same age and you seem to get along pretty well. Why don't you ask her?" she requested.
Al went blue once more, "Me?" he asked frantically as he pointed to himself, "I don't think that'll work, why don't you do it Brother?" he asked nervously as he scratched the back of his head.
"Because she doesn't like me and I'm not too fond of her," Ed reminded him as he crossed his arms over his chest.
Al tried desperately to think of an excuse, but nothing was coming to him. He looked between Ed and Winry. He was a bit intimidated by their impatient glares.
"Ok," he sighed as he hung his head and headed in the direction of Alley's bed, passing the doctor on his way over. "Are you ok now?" he asked slowly as the young woman looked up at him.
Alley nodded a little, "I'm fine, Al," she said with a small smile.
"That's good," the iron man said as he looked off to the side, "Umm, Winry and Ed just told me that…well you see…it's just," he began, but couldn't find the best way to tell her what the doctor had told them.
"I know already," Alley assured him, "The doctor told me, but don't worry ok? I'm sure I'll be all right. I've been sick before and I know how to handle it," she said confidently, though a little worry was evident in her tone.
Al was a little relieved by her confidence and he admired her ability to find the bright side, "I think you should go with us to Resembool. You need to get better and living out there won't help you any," he said confidently as well, if she could be that confidant so could he.
Alley smiled a bit more, "No thank you Al, I'll just be a bother. I'm sure I'll be fine, really," she insisted, seeing how she really didn't want to be a problem.
Al was tempted to give up, but all he could think about was Alley on the street all alone, "No, you're coming with us. I don't care what you have to say about it," he insisted.
Alley's smiled faded as her face went red, "Al?" she asked confused, she'd never seen that side of him before.
"Come on, let's go," Al said as he scooped her up in his arms and headed to the door.
He passed a very shocked Winry and Ed on his way out.
Back At The Ever Popular Office.
Riza smiled as she left the office and closed the door behind her. She spun around and jumped with surprise when she saw Mustang and Havoc leaning on the wall across the hallway, their pants draped over their shoulders.
"Aren't you two going to put them back on?" she asked as she shook her head and made her way down the hallway.
"In a minute, I want to hear what the Furher said," Mustang insisted as he and Havoc pushed off the wall and followed her.
"Did you get a demotion? Or suspended? Or discharged?" Havoc asked as they followed the young woman.
"Nope, I got a congratulations," Riza said, causing both men to stop and their jaws to drop.
Well, what did ya think? Not as long as normal, but pretty good huh?
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