A Suitable Gift

Conclusion

By Jill Weber

Part 3 of 3

The doors of the audience chamber were thrown violently open, one of them half falling off its hinges in the process. Denizens of the nineteenth and twentieth centuries would have been strongly reminded of a wild west showdown.

Jasmine stood at the front of a rough 'v' of grim looking characters, Iago rode on her shoulder. Genie was to her right and back a step and Rajah was to her left, also back a step.

"Wasim!" Jasmine snarled. "What have you done to Aladdin?"

"I don't know what you're talking about!" declared Prince Wasim.

"Jasmine, what are you talking about," the Sultan asked in shock. "Prince Wasim is our guest!"

"He poisoned Aladdin, and he tried to poison me!" Jasmine accused.

"Don't be ridiculous!" Wasim blustered, pulling himself to his full height. "I had no idea that the necklace or the suit were anything other than what they seemed!"

Rajah paced forward, snarling and slavering.

Genie sprouted a scholar's gown and mortarboard (complete with tassel). He waved a scroll under Wasim's nose and said: "Now, in case you're so uneducated that you don't understand Basic Tiger, allow me to translate." He unrolled the scroll, and a picture of a tiger (who strongly resembled Genie) said: "If you're innocent, then how did you know it was the necklace and the suit that were the culprits and not, say, the food you ate last night?"

"I... I..." Wasim sputtered, backing away.

Jasmine did some snarling of her own, with some fist shaking for emphasis. "You take that spell off Aladdin or I will cut your heart out and feed it to Rajah... with a spoon!!"

Her allies all looked at Jasmine in shock.

"Why a spoon?" Iago asked, scratching his head.

"Because it will hurt more!" Jasmine snarled.

Genie *plinked* back into his normal form (well, his usual form, nothing about Genie could be called 'normal' and he curled around Jasmine's shoulders. "Um, Jazz, leave the anachronistic references to me, okay?"

Jasmine had no idea what Genie was talking about, but she didn't have the time or inclination to become enlightened. She advanced after Rajah, hands clenched at her sides and THAT look in her eyes.

Wasim backed up until he was literally cornered and dropped to his knees. Rajah stuck his muzzle into the quivering Prince's face and made with his best 'Off With His Head' glare. (When a tiger gives you THAT look, don't bother worrying, just prepare to meet you doom.)

"I... I don't know how!" wailed Wasim. "It was the old hag's fault! She made me do it! Oh, please don't let your tiger eat me! I'll do anything! ANYTHING!!"

"Where is this 'old hag'?" Jasmine out-growled Rajah.

"In the market," whimpered Wasim.

"WHERE in the market?" Genie demanded. He wasn't fooling around now, he merely loomed. (Though admittedly, he added to the impressiveness of the Loom with a few discreet lighting effects and a really ominous 'Loom' soundtrack.)

"I'm not sure," quavered Wasim.

"Where did you meet her?" Genie growled, out-growling both Rajah and Jasmine. (Face it, he's had several millennia to perfect his ominous growl. He had to do something to while away the time while trapped in the Cave of Wonders.)

"Near that decrepit old building where Jasmine was handing out clothing to the poor."

"That's PRINCESS Jasmine, to you, Wazzoo!" the Sultan snapped. "I'll send the guards immediately."

"Thanks, Father, but we can handle this," Jasmine said.

"Oh, yeah, we have just the thing. First we find the hag," Genie said. "Come on, guys, let's find her."

"Sorry about the trade agreements, Father, but this slug just got onto my persona non grata list," Jasmine said.

"He's not exactly on my good side, my dear," the Sultan replied grimly.

Jasmine grabbed Wasim by the collar and hauled him along like he was an especially annoying toddler. Iago tumbled off her shoulder and had to flap frantically to catch up.

"Your father will be very disappointed in you, Wasim," the Sultan called after them.

A few minutes ago, his father's displeasure would have been the most frightening thing in Wasim's life. Now that honor went to Princess Jasmine.

"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, or a princess robbed," said Genie. He turned into a fiery steed (in tasteful shades of blue and lavender) and galloped after his party.

Rajah started to follow, but the Sultan restrained him with a hand on his neck. "I'm sorry, Rajah, but you can't go with them. You'd likely start a riot in the marketplace. I'm sure they can handled this."

Rajah gave a deep "I never get to have any fun" sigh and stalked out to the garden to sulk. The Sultan knew exactly how the tiger felt.

The hunters made their way to the alley, where Genie turned into a giant (blue)bloodhound.

"How can you sniff out anything in this crowd?" demanded Iago.

"Not to worry," Genie said with great confidence. "Evil magic smell isn't easy to drown out, even in a crowd like this!" After an hour or so of sniffing (complete with several sidetracks to various butchers stalls and one hair raising cat chase), Genie stopped outside a dilapidated shack and turned into a giant arrow. The (flashing neon red) writing on the side of the arrow said: "This Way to the Evil Hag's Lair. No One Under Thirteen Admitted Without Parent."

Jasmine was over thirteen, so she didn't fetch her father. She just kicked the door down and strode into the shack, absently hauling Prince Wasim behind her.

"How dare you enter my home without knocking?" a wheezy, onion laden voice demanded.

"How DARE you curse my boyfriend!!" demanded Jasmine in return. The Princess didn't flinch from the Hag's ugliness, or her smell. Wasim, however, began to look a little green around the gills.

"You must be Princess Jasmine," snarled the Hag, shaking a fist at her. "That street rat of yours stole something from me, and he must be punished!"

"Stole what from you?" Jasmine asked. She put her hands on her hips and tried her best/worst 'off-with her head glare', but it made no impression at all on the Hag.

"He stole some magical fruit from me, Your Highness!" The Hag snarled, saliva dripping from the corner of her mouth. "Magical fruit that I risked my life for! And when I tried to get it back, I saw it get eaten... by his MONKEY!!"

"Oh? What kind of fruit? And where did you get it?" Iago asked. "Maybe we can get some more for you." The parrot's tone of voice was politely curious and amicably helpful. In Iago, this usually meant that the parrot was feeling especially snide and obnoxious.

"I... Never mind, it is not important now," the Hag backed away from Jasmine, and suddenly would not meet the girl's gaze. "What is important is Aladdin's being punished!"

"I don't understand, if we replace the fruit, why would you need to punish Aladdin?" Jasmine was momentarily puzzled out of her hostility. She let got of Wasim's shirt. The prince staggered back against a wall and sat down.

"Oh, I understand perfectly, Princess," Iago snarled, settling on the least unsound piece of furniture in the shack. He pointed a flight feather at the hag. "She doesn't want you to know that she stole the fruit in the first place!"

"I did not steal it!" the Hag protested overmuch.

"Then how exactly did you risk your life to obtain it?" Iago asked sarcastically. "And why did you never go back for more?" When the Hag was silent, Iago supplied his own answers. "You risked your life getting around the some guardian, didn't you? And now that the guardian knows you for a thief, you won't ever be able to get near him again."

"How do you know all this stuff?" Jasmine asked, looking at Iago over her shoulder.

"Hey, Jafar dragged me on zillions of stupid quests after some magic thingie or other. Trust me, nobody gives out or sells magic fruit. And you never find the stuff lying around, either. The only way to get it is to earn it or steal it. If she'd earned it, she could always go back and get more."

Jasmine placed her hands on her hips and glared at the Hag. "So, you were going to kill Aladdin for doing the same thing you had done?"

The Hag looked horrified. "I cannot kill! I'd lose my magic! I only put him into an enchanted sleep."

Jasmine looked at Genie. "Is this true?"

Genie turned into a giant contraption with flashing lights and a dial that said TRUE/FALSE. A little blue hand swung to the TRUE side, bells went off and the lights did a can-can. "Yes, she is telling the truth. Aladdin is only sleeping."

Abruptly, the Genie poofed out of sight and a blue man clad in a blue trench coat appeared. "Awright, shweet-heart!" Genie drawled in what later generations would know was a credible imitation of Humphrey Bogart. "How can we remove this curse you've laid on our buddy?"

"It cannot be removed by any means at my disposal, or that I have knowledge of," smirked the Hag. She waved to her herb laden shelves. "I have spent a lifetime acquiring these precious magical herbs and those priceless scrolls of spells. I was very careful to pick a curse that has no known antidote, so you can't force it out of me!"

"Why don't we just have a look see for ourselves?" Genie suggested.

There was a poof of smoke and Genie was wearing scarlet long johns with a gold lightning bolt symbol on his chest. He flashed around the room, peering into scrolls and bottles and cupboards. Finally he came over to Jasmine, poofed back into his usual self and shrugged. "Sorry, Princess, but she's telling the truth. There's nothing here to break that spell."

Iago slapped his forehead. "Oh, great, so Aladdin gets to spend the rest of his life in La-La Land!"

"Don't be silly, Iago, Los Angeles won't be founded until 1781." Genie, ignoring Iago's "I knew that" glare, pulled a blindingly fierce light from somewhere, holding the light so it shown in the Hag's face. "Spill the beans, shweet-heart," he demanded as a deluge of kidney, navy, coffee and jelly beans rained on the Hag's head. "Just how BIG is this Big Sleep you've zapped the kid with? For your sake, it had better not be one of those hundred year thingies!"

"No!" Wasim cried. "I wanted Aladdin at my wedding, so I could gloat at him!"

"That is right," the Hag said. "The sleep spell is only for as long as it would take Princess Jasmine to get over her heartbreak enough for the prince, aided by the Love Locket No. 9, to win her over."

"And that was?" Genie prompted.

"Thirty-three years."

"Thirty-three years!" yelped Wasim. "She'd be OLD by that time!"

"And you'll still be a fool," snapped the Hag. "Now be off! I'm a busy witch!"

"I should have you arrested and thrown in the dungeon," sputtered Jasmine.

"You can't, I've done nothing illegal," smirked the Hag. "There is no law against impregnating a suit with sleep magic."

Jasmine hesitated, then realized the Hag was right. (Jasmine had been studying the laws of Agrabah back when she had been trying to get out of the 'must be married by her next birthday' thing.) There were no laws against dousing anything with sleep magic, or even any against giving sleep doused suits to people. There were laws against poisoning people, but she couldn't figure out how to make them apply to this case. Aladdin hadn't really been poisoned, after all. She decided that she and her father had better have a talk about laws pertaining to magic.

"Come on, let's go," she said growled. She turned her back on Wasim and the Hag and stalked out of the shack with as much dignity as she could muster.

"Whew!" said Wasim.

"Don't look so relieved, Wazzoo," Genie said, getting a firm grip on the miscreant's collar. "There's still a matter of that "Anything" you would do to avoid getting eaten by Rajah.

Genie hauled the perfidious prince after Jasmine. As he left, he pointed a finger over his shoulder and zapped the Hag's lifetime accumulation of rare herbs and scrolls into Hostess Fruit Pies and Betty Crocker cook books. (Written in English, an as yet Unborn Language.)

"You thief!" screamed the Hag, shaking her fist in helpless fury.

"But I didn't take a thing," Genie returned. "And there's no law against turning nasty magic herbs and spices into tasty, yet healthful, snacks. And these have real fruit filling!"

He ignored the Hag's sputtering. None of her spells were strong enough to hurt even a merely semi-phenomenal, nearly cosmic powered Genie.

An hour later, Genie joined the others in Aladdin's room. "We have Wazzoo out there giving away large quantities of his trade goods to the poor of Agrabah," he reported. "The Sultan is sending a delegation to the Prince's father to complain about his behavior and explain what his punishment was. I don't think Wazzoo will get much in the way of a warm welcome when he gets home."

"Thanks, Genie," sighed Jasmine. She was perched on the side of Aladdin's bed, holding his hand. Carpet was hovering at her side, alternately stroking Aladdin's cheek and wiping away Jasmine's tears.

Abu was sitting on Aladdin's pillow, stroking the youth's hair. There were big tears dripping unheeded down the monkey's face.

Iago was moving restlessly from perch to perch. "Come ON, are we going to spend the next thirty years like this?" he groused. "Is this what HE would do? NO! If YOU were the one in the enchanted sleep, he'd be out lookin' for a cure!"

Iago fluttered to the bed and started pacing. "He'd be checking out every magic gizmortifrack this side of the Cave of Wonders! He'd at least try the (gag) True Love's Kiss routine!"

Jasmine had been rubbing her eyes when Iago said this last sentence. She jerked upright, eyes going wide. "True Love's Kiss?" she repeated. "Of course, that's what breaks the enchanted sleep in all the fairy tales!" She stood up, bent over Aladdin and kissed him tenderly.

Nothing happened. The others looked from Jasmine to Aladdin then back again in shock.

"Humph," Iago said, disappointment lending a sharper-than-normal edge to his snideness. He snapped his wings shut and said: "So maybe it isn't true love, after all?"

Carpet smacked him off the bed and into the wall.

"It was just a suggestion!" Iago sputtered indignantly, prying himself out of the wall.

Jasmine tried a more lingering kiss, with the same lack of result. She burst into tears again, grabbed Aladdin's shoulders and shook him. "Aladdin, wake up! Oh, PLEASE wake up!"

She felt Aladdin jerk under her hands, then, blessedly, the next words she heard were his: "Huh? Whazzut? Jasmine?" She drew back and met Aladdin's blinking, befuddled gaze.

"Jazz! You did it! You broke the spell!! You said the magic word!!!"

Genie gave her a big hug, then disappeared into a puff of smoke. A large blue duck with a funny black moustache with a cigar in its mouth dropped from the ceiling and triumphantly held a HUGE sign that said: "PLEASE!"

Then a funny little blue man with the same moustache duck walked across the bed saying: "Say the magic woid and the duck will drop down and spell will be broken!"

"What?" Aladdin propped himself up on his elbows and shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs from his brain. "What's going on? Why are you all in my room?" he asked.

He didn't get an explanation, because everyone was too busy trying to hug him at the same time.

***

It wasn't until much later, when the excitement had finally died down, that Aladdin got his explanation. They were sitting around the dinner table (Aladdin dressed in his new, not-too-fancy blue pants and white tunic from the Palace Tailor). The others were relating what had happened since Aladdin went to bed the night before.

"...and it makes sense that the old hag wouldn't know THAT cure," said Genie. "I'll bet she never said 'please' or 'thank you' in her life."

"I was in an enchanted sleep, again?" Aladdin said, again. He shook his head in wonder. Then he snorted and added. "Well, that will teach me to accept gifts from strangers." He grinned at Abu. "Stealing was much safer, right?"

"Uh-ha!" agreed Abu, nodding his head so vigorously that his whole body vibrated, and a few spoons fell from his vest. Aladdin smiled and removed the rest of the stolen tableware from various hiding places.

"No it isn't! Stealing is what got you into this mess in the first place," Jasmine said firmly. "Promise me, no more stealing!"

Aladdin flashed her a grin. "I wasn't planning to steal anything anyways... except your heart," he added, giving her a melting look.

Jasmine obligingly melted. "You don't need to steal THAT," she purred, snuggling up to him. "My heart is already yours... forever." She brought her face close to his as she spoke.

"As mine is yours," Aladdin murmured, wrapping his arms around her waist and leaning forward.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud! We're back to the do-it-yourself tonsillectomies again!!" squawked Iago. "Don't you two ever think of anything..."

Iago's complaints were abruptly cut off as Carpet flick-kicked him out the nearest window. Then Carpet turned to watch dreamily as the young lovers kissed. Carpet just loved mushy endings.

The End!