****************************
Author's Commentary
****************************
This story is based on the question of "What if?". In this case, what if Tamahome
had never killed Nakago. The main characters in this story are really Miaka and
our all-time favourite villain, Nakago, although Tamahome does play a pivotal
role in the first few chapters.
As the story progressed, I tried to show how each character evolves. Things have
a tendency to get interesting when people who have nothing in common are thrown
together and forced to cooperate. Being in close quarters and forced cohabitation
starts to have an effect, and despite their best efforts, they start to rub off on each
other. Miaka grows up as a result of a tragedy, becoming slightly more mature and
thinks a bit more, while Nakago mellows slightly and starts to feel a bit more.
This by no means implies that Nakago becomes all warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.
Not a chance. For the most part, he is still a cold, arrogant, egotistical jerk with an
evil, sadistic streak and a very dry, very twisted sense of humour (actually, it's the
author who's got an evil, sadistic streak and a very dry, very twisted sense of humour…
but that's not the point). He derives amusement from baiting and insulting Miaka,
and seizes every opportunity to be mean to her. Where Tamahome is the undisputed
hero---selfless , righteous and most of all, loved by the heroine---by the same token,
Nakago is the anti-hero, definitely not one of the "good guys", but not completely
evil either. They are polar opposites, reckless and impulsive versus controlled and
calm. Yet, it is Nakago's cold, unfeeling logic which prevails in Miaka's darkest hour,
dragging her kicking and screaming from the depths of her despair.
I wanted to show that Nakago is as human as anyone else, and contrary to popular
belief, he does have feelings buried somewhere under all that armour and ice. As
a result of his traumatic childhood, he has trained himself to ignore all the softer
emotions like concern, sympathy, friendship and love. In fact, the only positive
emotion we ever see him exhibit seems to be wry amusement. I don't think that he
ever truly hated the Suzaku no Miko or her seishi. They became enemies simply
because they happened to be on opposite ends of the playing field. If Nakago was
truly the soulless monster that some portray him to be, he would have killed all the
Suzaku seishi and/or raped their miko. We all know that he had the power and the
ability to do so if he had really wanted to. Instead, he seems to test them, time after
time, to see if they were worthy opponents and thus forcing them to become stronger…
almost as if he wanted to give them a decent fighting chance.
I have to admit that I'm one of those people who believe that Nakago could have
(and should have) raped Miaka when he had the opportunity. His failure and
unwillingness to do so only serves to show that deep down lies a man with strong
principles and hidden, half-forgotten dreams. He saved Yui and Soi from a terrible
fate at the hands of rapists, and when it came to the Suzaku no Miko, it was very
unlikely that he would have turned into one. Nakago has his own interpretation of
honour, and is willing to do many things to attain his goals. However, forcing
himself on defenceless girls is not one of them…even if it means passing up the
chance of certain victory. It is also this same sense of honour which compels him
to keep his promises, however much he may dislike them.
The problem with Nakago is that his heart is in the wrong place (pun intended).
He is extremely intelligent. He thinks. He analyses everything. He never does
anything without a reason. His actions are ruled by his mind and not by his heart,
hence the position of the 'Kokoro' is on his forehead. That is what makes him such
an effective warrior and protector…he does not allow his emotions to get in the
way of what he does. Incidentally, it also makes him immune to Miaka's attempts
to get him to be "normal" like the rest of the human population, which frustrates
her to no end.
Nakago has just about as much inclination to protect the Suzaku no Miko as one
would have of contracting leprosy. Similarly, Miaka would sooner have her toes
pan-fried in honey and inserted into a beehive than be stuck with Nakago. Unluckily,
a unique set of circumstances (courtesy of the evil fanfic author) results in making
the blonde former Seiryuu seishi Miaka's protector by default…much to both their
dismay. So he goes about his obligation reluctantly, often using highly unorthodox
methods which are as much designed to irritate and shock the Suzaku no Miko,
as they are to get the job done.
What happens along the way is akin to a Trial by Fire for both of them. Miaka must
learn to live without her one true love, and Nakago must learn to feel again…and
unfortunately for him, the one girl who continually annoys him is the only one who
can teach him!
From the outer edges of the Universe of the 4 Gods to the inner reaches of the human
heart… A story of firsts; of learning to trust and of discovering oneself…
…And finding the best kinds of friends, in the most unexpected places.
Thanks for reading and god bless,
Alcestis :-)
Copyright © 2001. All rights reserved.
Author's Commentary
****************************
This story is based on the question of "What if?". In this case, what if Tamahome
had never killed Nakago. The main characters in this story are really Miaka and
our all-time favourite villain, Nakago, although Tamahome does play a pivotal
role in the first few chapters.
As the story progressed, I tried to show how each character evolves. Things have
a tendency to get interesting when people who have nothing in common are thrown
together and forced to cooperate. Being in close quarters and forced cohabitation
starts to have an effect, and despite their best efforts, they start to rub off on each
other. Miaka grows up as a result of a tragedy, becoming slightly more mature and
thinks a bit more, while Nakago mellows slightly and starts to feel a bit more.
This by no means implies that Nakago becomes all warm and fuzzy all of a sudden.
Not a chance. For the most part, he is still a cold, arrogant, egotistical jerk with an
evil, sadistic streak and a very dry, very twisted sense of humour (actually, it's the
author who's got an evil, sadistic streak and a very dry, very twisted sense of humour…
but that's not the point). He derives amusement from baiting and insulting Miaka,
and seizes every opportunity to be mean to her. Where Tamahome is the undisputed
hero---selfless , righteous and most of all, loved by the heroine---by the same token,
Nakago is the anti-hero, definitely not one of the "good guys", but not completely
evil either. They are polar opposites, reckless and impulsive versus controlled and
calm. Yet, it is Nakago's cold, unfeeling logic which prevails in Miaka's darkest hour,
dragging her kicking and screaming from the depths of her despair.
I wanted to show that Nakago is as human as anyone else, and contrary to popular
belief, he does have feelings buried somewhere under all that armour and ice. As
a result of his traumatic childhood, he has trained himself to ignore all the softer
emotions like concern, sympathy, friendship and love. In fact, the only positive
emotion we ever see him exhibit seems to be wry amusement. I don't think that he
ever truly hated the Suzaku no Miko or her seishi. They became enemies simply
because they happened to be on opposite ends of the playing field. If Nakago was
truly the soulless monster that some portray him to be, he would have killed all the
Suzaku seishi and/or raped their miko. We all know that he had the power and the
ability to do so if he had really wanted to. Instead, he seems to test them, time after
time, to see if they were worthy opponents and thus forcing them to become stronger…
almost as if he wanted to give them a decent fighting chance.
I have to admit that I'm one of those people who believe that Nakago could have
(and should have) raped Miaka when he had the opportunity. His failure and
unwillingness to do so only serves to show that deep down lies a man with strong
principles and hidden, half-forgotten dreams. He saved Yui and Soi from a terrible
fate at the hands of rapists, and when it came to the Suzaku no Miko, it was very
unlikely that he would have turned into one. Nakago has his own interpretation of
honour, and is willing to do many things to attain his goals. However, forcing
himself on defenceless girls is not one of them…even if it means passing up the
chance of certain victory. It is also this same sense of honour which compels him
to keep his promises, however much he may dislike them.
The problem with Nakago is that his heart is in the wrong place (pun intended).
He is extremely intelligent. He thinks. He analyses everything. He never does
anything without a reason. His actions are ruled by his mind and not by his heart,
hence the position of the 'Kokoro' is on his forehead. That is what makes him such
an effective warrior and protector…he does not allow his emotions to get in the
way of what he does. Incidentally, it also makes him immune to Miaka's attempts
to get him to be "normal" like the rest of the human population, which frustrates
her to no end.
Nakago has just about as much inclination to protect the Suzaku no Miko as one
would have of contracting leprosy. Similarly, Miaka would sooner have her toes
pan-fried in honey and inserted into a beehive than be stuck with Nakago. Unluckily,
a unique set of circumstances (courtesy of the evil fanfic author) results in making
the blonde former Seiryuu seishi Miaka's protector by default…much to both their
dismay. So he goes about his obligation reluctantly, often using highly unorthodox
methods which are as much designed to irritate and shock the Suzaku no Miko,
as they are to get the job done.
What happens along the way is akin to a Trial by Fire for both of them. Miaka must
learn to live without her one true love, and Nakago must learn to feel again…and
unfortunately for him, the one girl who continually annoys him is the only one who
can teach him!
From the outer edges of the Universe of the 4 Gods to the inner reaches of the human
heart… A story of firsts; of learning to trust and of discovering oneself…
…And finding the best kinds of friends, in the most unexpected places.
Thanks for reading and god bless,
Alcestis :-)
Copyright © 2001. All rights reserved.