My Version of a James comes back to life fic

Disclainer: I don't own Harry Potter i wish i did but there is a big difference between wishing and actually owning it so obviously i don't.

Mirror Image

Chapter One: Waiting For A Star To Fall

Did everyone around Harry have to die? Was his touch really so poisonous that he hurt everyone he went near? First his parents, then Cedric and now Sirius. Just thinking of his name made Harry feel so ill he didn't think he'd move from his bed for weeks.

Harry didn't forget the fact that that Muggle Frank and Bertha Jorkins had died for Lord Voldemort's conquest either.

And it was all his fault. Many people had lived and died to protect him all for a higher purpose many were no more aware of than he had been a few short weeks ago. And what made Harry feel even worse, there had only been one person to fully understand why that was.

And that was Dumbledore. Harry trusted his judgment. He had been so angry with him at first but he knew that he couldn't have handled it even as little time ago as last year.

Just finding out that Professor Moody had not been Professor Moody and seeing Voldemort be reborn had been enough.

He wished Dumbledore had given him some forewarning this year. Then maybe he wouldn't have gone charging off to save Sirius when he had no need to be saved.

Then maybe he would still be alive right now. That hurt more than he thought anything could. In his head he knew Bellatrix Lestrange had been responsible for Sirius' death.

She had been the one to fire the curse that sent him into the veil but Harry couldn't help but think that if he hadn't gone and played hero is beloved godfather would still be alive at this moment and Harry wouldn't feel like his heart had been torn out and threw across the floor.

It just hurt so much. He hadn't imagined that anything could hurt this much. He had thought it had hurt when Cedric had died but that was nothing to how it felt now.

He knew it wouldn't always hurt the way it did now. And somewhere deep inside him he knew that for there to be life their had to be death.

It was the way of things but right then, at that moment he didn't care. All he cared about was the fact that he had lost his godfather and as far as he was concerned it was all his fault.

It didn't matter that everytime he closed his eyes he saw Bellatrix Lestrange hit Sirius with a curse.

It didn't matter that Dumbledore had willingly took the blame for Sirius' death. And while it made sense it didn't make Harry feel any better.

If he had listened to Ron and Herminone like he knew he should have done then none of this would have happened.

He would have never gone to the ministry looking for Sirius and then Sirius would then never have had to come after him and he would not have died.

So no matter what anyone told him he knew. He knew, that Sirius' death would always be his fault and nothing anyone said or did could ever change any of that.

He hurt so much he didn't wan to have to get up for days. The Dursley's would leave him alone. Mad-eye's threat would make sure of that. And leaving his window open would mean that Hedwig could come and go as she pleased.

At the moment she was out hunting and so he was really alone. But right now that was all he wanted.

He didn't think he could handle being anything else. It was nearly midnight and Harry just couldn't sleep. Nor was he trying. Being awake was so much better than being asleep and seeing his beloved godfather go through the veil over and over again.

It was then the tears started to fall. He couldn't hold them back anymore. He buried his face in his pillow and cried.

"Sirius."

He sobbed, "I'm so sorry. I never meant to any of this to happen. I'm so sorry. Why did you leave me?"

"I miss you so much."

He punched the pillow unable to keep the anger and pain inside him. "Why does everyone I care about, love, have to die?" He asked the pillow brokenly.

"Did I deserve this? Is this how it has to be for me to destroy the Dark?" His tears fell and he sobbed until the tears only fell silently.

He had once heard that men didn't cry and in front of everyone else he had tried to prove that this was true.

But this was real life and he had lost the only father he had ever known. How could someone not cry?

It wasn't fair.

He sat up and walked to his window. "Is this what I deserve? For being The-Boy-Who-Lived? Must I survive while everyone I care about around me dies." He shook his head.

"I wish you were here Dad." He said knowing it could never be. "You were Sirius' best friend. Now all I have left of you is Remus." "I wish you were here. It's stupid because I've never known you. I've never known you or mum but you saved me in fourth year when you told me what to do."

"You were the person I had thought about more than anyone that night and you came and you helped me through everything despite the fact you were dead."

"You'd know what to do. You'd be able to tell me how I can get over this. How can I go on when all I feel is pain?"

"I wish you were here dad."

Harry looked at the sky knowing it was stupid to wish for something that would never happen but he couldn't stop himself now.

He loved Remus but the only father figure he had ever known was gone and all it left him with was pain of loss but the want for his parents.

It was so strong he had never felt anything like it.

He wanted his dad. He wanted what he had had with Sirius back again. He stared at the dark night knowing it was something that would never be. No spell can wake the dead no matter how much you want it.

But Harry didn't care. In that moment he wanted a parent so much his heart hurt and the lump in his throat was so big he cried silent tears for the rest of the night.

James stood within an inch of his son tears falling down his face. He had hurt as much as Harry had when he had seen his best friend fall through the veil. If there was something Padfoot, Sirius, had not deserved that was it.

Sirius had done nothing but care for Harry and James and Lily when they were alive and look where that had gotten him…

A life sentence in Azkaban. James had screamed his heart out when Sirius had been sent there.

How could they think he would do something like that? To James and Lily? James shook his head.

James and Lily had ended up in the same afterlife as each other but Lily, having sacrificed herself for the love of her son had moved into the court of the Fates, the ruling body of the spirit plane.

James was on a different level unable to let go of the fact he had not been able to protect his son the way had wanted to.

Throughout everything James had tried to be with Harry and help him. Now more than ever he felt the feeling of helplessness seep into his being.

Sirius had not yet joined the astral plane. And James wondered if he ever would. Sirius would be caught in the in between. He would be judged in the tunnel when he finally found his way there and if he as found worthy he might be allowed passage back to Earth.

But seeing his son in the state he was in James knew he could not wait for that. He heard his son calling for him and he could do nothing for him. He put his hand to his chest and found it to be bleeding.

"Harry…"

He whispered.

In a moment he was no longer in his son's bedroom anymore. He felt disorientated and lost for a moment and then he realised where he was. In the court of The Fates.

"Okay," He said warily. "What did I do now?" A blaze of red hair flashed before his eyes before his wife threw herself into his arms. He returned the hug with abandon.

"I missed you Lily."

He said kissing her hair. "Me too baby." She whispered. She drew away and said, "It's not a case of what you've done as more of a case of what they want you to do."

James was lost now. Since when did the Fates want anything from him? He usually caused them, in their words, nothing but an infinite amount of trouble. He shouldn't be watching his son the way he was, he should, like his beloved wife be putting his powers to good use.

"What?" He finally asked when he got his jaw to work.

Lily smiled and said, "look." She pointed to the dais and the three Fates, the three stages of the woman, Maiden, Mother, and The Crone stood surveying him.

"James Potter." They intoned together. James said, "Okay what have I done now," Despite his wife's assurances he felt the need to ask again.

He was not usually brought to the dais unless he had done something wrong. Call it the Marauder in him.

"We have told you…" Began the Maiden

"Repeatedly about the consequences of trying to break through…" Continued the Mother

"…The wall of the worlds onto Earth." Finished the Crone.

James said nothing. The following the conversation backwards and forwards between the Fates used to make his head spin but after nearly fifteen years of having to listen to it he had gotten used to it.

"He's my son." James said angrily. "He needs me." "He is also Lily's son." The Mother said, "Lily was able to help him." James said squeezing his wife's hand. "I did nothing. I need to be there for him if nothing else."

He didn't expect them to understand. Hell, sometimes he didn't understand it himself. Lily had loved Harry as much as he had yet she was able to not let go, but at least move on.

"We believe that in this case you are right." The Crone said shocking James out of his thoughts.

"Excuse me?"

James felt compelled to ask.

The Fates smiled. "Sirius Black was not meant to pass through the veil. It was not his time, nor is it still. But he is lost until he reaches the bridge." The Mother looked at James and said, "Sirius Black, though lost to Harry for so long was meant to fill the gap in his life you had left behind."

"Now there is only Remus Lupin." The Crone said. "And while we know Remus is willing to help Harry it remains to be seen whether Harry will let him. He is so scared to lose anyone else he cares about." The Maiden said.

"So we are allowing you this chance. A Chance to change the outcome of the War. Your son, may not know it yet but he is the only hope the Light has left." The Mother said.

"What are you saying exactly?" James said, not daring to believe that what they were saying could be true.

"We are allowing one of you to return to earth. Tom Riddle's exploits have off set the balance. There is a rip in the world between Life and Death." The Crone said a frown marring her already wrinkled brow.

"He must be stopped." The Mother and The Maiden chorused together.

James turned to Lily. "It should be you Lily. I know how much you miss him. You'll finally have another chance to be with our son. The chance I couldn't give you."

Lily's eyes were watery. She touched James' cheek. "No baby. I have to remain here. The Fates have put me in charge of the bridge. I cannot leave."

"You go. I'll send Sirius to you."

"Lily…" James wanted argue.

"James I loved Harry enough to give him life. And I can accept that I loved him. I have no regrets about anything in my life, about loving and marrying you. Having Harry, giving Sirius the chance to be godfather. Even giving up my life for my son. I regret none of it."

She paused.

"But you regret that you couldn't do more. I know Harry loves me. But it is not me he has thought of when he faced Voldemort, when he was reborn. It is not me he calls to now. He thinks of me. He loves me and knows I loved him but he needs you now."

She hugged James to her.

"He needs his dad now. Not his mother." "Lily baby, are you sure?" "More sure than I've been in my life." She smiled.

"I'll come and see you. And I'll send Sirius' arse back where it belongs when he finds his way but right now our son needs you."

"Have you made your decision?" The Fates intoned together. "We have." James and Lily said.

"I will go to earth." James said.

The Mother nodded. "Then go."

She waved her hand and the after shock pulsed through James. And last thing he saw was Lily saying, "I love you. See you soon."

James bolted upright with a start. The air felt like it had been knocked out of him. He wondered what the hell was going on and then it came back to him in a rush.

"Harry." He whispered.

i have no idea what to think of this. So could you press the purple button points down and i tell me what you think

thanx