Title: Commitment
Rating: K
Disclaimer: Characters are not mine; I'm just taking them out to play.
Warnings: None
Pairings: Greg/Sara
Spoilers: Through Season 5
Summary: Takes place after the events in "Committed."
AN: I've certainly been reading enough CSI fan fiction. Thought I'd give it a try. First timing posting so constructive criticism welcomed. I'm fireproofed, so flames will be ignored.
AN 2: Thanks to Tripp3235 for the beta services.
In many ways it had been a quiet shift. There had been only the one case out at the mental hospital. Greg had been a little disappointed at being left behind in the lab. Not that he minded helping out Mia with the backlogged work, but he was still learning out in the field and relished any opportunity to get out there. Of course, he also just loved having the time together with Sara. He'd harbored a crush on her since she'd walked in the Las Vegas Crime Lab five years previously. He'd always flirted with her, with limited success. Until lately that is, and without the benefit of flirting.
"I'm telling you, Greg, it was just so…weird. I just …" Sara's voice trailed off, once again unable to put words to the day's events. Greg sat quietly, waiting for her to continue whenever she felt ready. He owed her that much.
Sara had become his mentor throughout his field training, a very rewarding experience for them both. He knew her ego had taken a beating when Grissom had passed her over in favor of Nick for the Key CSI position. Being entrusted with his field training, even over Nick, prior to the shift split, had been a healthy healing balm. It wasn't something Greg had been aware of right away, he'd been too focused on learning his new job's responsibilities to fully appreciate how it was affecting Sara. If anything, he'd been a bit surprised that Sara, who could always be a bit impatient when waiting for her lab results, had all the patience in the world with his endless questions, his in-field insecurities, and everything else associated with his training.
"Do you think…I mean…could I have done something…."
"No!" Seeing Sara's eyes pop open wide made Greg realize he'd spoken to sharply. "No," he made a point to soften his tone, "you didn't do anything, Sara, to deserve that kind of treatment."
"You weren't there, Greg, you don't know."
"I do know. I know you, Sara."
Sara simply shook her head and returned her gaze to the tear-like beads of condensation dripping from her water bottle. Greg remained silent, allowing her to continue her rumination of the past few hours. He knew the best thing he could do was to allow her time and space.
Sara watched the water drops yielding to gravity's pull. She felt the same inexorable pull on her own soul. A surrendering to nature's will. The state mental hospital had shaken her up, badly. The memories it invoked, overlaid now with images of her personal desolation in such a place. She shuddered at the memory.
"Are you cold?"
She looked up, surprised both by the question, and the look of open concern in Greg's eyes. "No, no I'm fine." Greg gave her a look as if he didn't believe her, but simply nodded and settled more comfortably into the cushions of her couch.
Sara gave herself a mental shake, willing herself to control her emotions and still her body's telltale signs of stress. She would not allow her trembling to give away to Greg how distressed she truly was. It was getting harder and harder to fool him though; he was getting so much better at reading a suspect's body language. She suspected he was using this newly honed skill on her as well.
Greg continued his silent show of support from where he lay across the couch, watching Sara try to fool him into believing she was fine. They'd grown closer, or so he liked to believe, during his training period. He had a much deeper appreciation of the complex person that was Sara Sidle. Enough to know when to push, when to tease, and when to just lay back and wait, like now. Probably for the first time in the five years she'd been in Las Vegas, Greg truly felt he could call Sara a friend, not just a friendly co-worker, and he still hoped for more. They'd stuck together these past few months, through all the turmoil of the shift split. And then there was her suspension. Greg had been furious with both Ecklie and Catherine, maybe even more so than Sara had been. Greg was fond of Catherine. Still, he couldn't believe she'd been handed only a one week suspension without pay for her carelessness in the lab explosion in which he'd been injured. It didn't make sense to him that Sara's suspension was exactly the same. Only underscored for him that either Sara's suspension was too harsh, or, more likely, Catherine's had been too lenient. He'd called Sara several times during her suspension, never pushing her to talk, just letting her know he was thinking of her. He got the impression Sara was secretly enjoying the cooling off period; she'd come very close to being fired, there was no doubt about that. He'd volunteered to listen, once she was back at work. He really was a good listener, not something he knew most people would associate with him, but he was nonetheless. She gave him the Cliff Notes version of events and simply said it was time to move on.
Sara could feel Greg's warm, dark eyes on her, reminiscent of the coffee he loved so much. She knew he was looking for any outward signs in her body language to call her on her assertion that she was fine. She was stubbornly determined to not let him read her that easily.
Body language. The implications of the phrase caught her by surprise. It was so obvious, now. The evidence had been in front of her all evening, and she'd blindly ignored it. Greg, sitting on her couch, much more relaxed in appearance and posture to be sure, but still, on her couch, just as Grissom had been several weeks earlier.
And herself? She was surprised to realize that she sat in the same chair now as she sat in then. It was the body language in the room, most especially her own, which made all the difference. When Grissom had sat on that couch, she had sat in her chair, her long legs drawn up, her arms wrapped around her knees, putting barriers between herself and Grissom. Everything in her posture then had screamed, "Keep Away!"
But now, with Greg here, she sat sprawled, slumped down, her feet resting on her coffee table, ankles casually crossed. No barriers, nothing between her and Greg, in fact she looked as if she were here alone, reading a Forensics Journal. She looked completely comfortable and at ease.
When had that happened? Six months ago, she couldn't image Greg in her apartment, much less welcoming him into her home. That moment of revelation was when her brain acknowledged what a more intelligent part of her body had known for some time.
"When Adam attacked me, Grissom was on the other side of the glass wall." Her voice was whisper soft, "When the guard got the door opened, while Adam was distracted, I ran from the room as quickly as possible. I remember looking out the barred window, feeling just as trapped as the inmates those bars are designed to hold. Trapped by the bars, my fears, my memories."
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Greg shift position on the couch, turning more onto his side, his head propped up on one hand as he gave her his undivided attention. For the first time since they'd arrived at her apartment, after he'd insisted on driving her home following shift, she looked straight into his eyes and held his gaze.
"Grissom didn't follow me. I thought, maybe I'd done something wrong in allowing Adam to grab me. Maybe I deserved Grissom's neglect."
"You didn't do anything, Sara, to deserve that kind of treatment. I've already told you that. Please believe me."
Sara gave him a weak smile, "I do believe you." She paused, gathering her thoughts. "He offered to have me replaced on the case. I remember telling him, several times, that I appreciated that. I thought then that I was appreciative of his concern for me. I realize now, I was wrong." She saw a look of confusion pass over Greg's face, but he remained silent.
"I realize now, what I was really doing, was reassuring Grissom that his offer to replace me was enough."
"Enough? I'm not sure I'm following you."
"He didn't chase after me! He didn't try to comfort me. No, instead he simply offered to replace me. And there I was, reassuring Grissom that was a sufficient show of concern. What I realize now is that was all he knew how to give. All he could give me for support, after he personally witnessed the attack, only moments after it was over, was related to the job. Nothing personal, no messy emotions. Just focused on how it may impact the case, always how it might affect the job."
"That's just Grissom, Sara. I don't think he does it on purpose. I'm not sure he knows how to react to anything in any other fashion."
"'That's just Grissom,' I've used that same excuse to explain away the last five years of my life, Greg. It doesn't work anymore, and do you know why?"
"Well," cautiously thinking his way through his response, "I'd say you've had some kind of epiphany, I'm just not sure what."
"Epiphany, revelation, finally saw the light, call it any cliché you can think of." She swung her feet off the coffee table and stood up, walking the few feet separating her from the couch. Without giving herself a chance to think about her actions, she stretched out on the couch facing Greg, his arm settling around her waist instinctively to keep her from falling off the narrow space.
Sara grinned her gap-toothed smile at the surprised look on Greg's face. "I realized, just now, I don't need Grissom's support, concern, or his comfort. I already have that from someone who has never waivered in his support of me; never hesitated to show his concern, or to offer his comfort. How did I not see you for five years? More importantly, how did I not see that you'd won my heart?"
"Have I? Won your heart." He gently brushed a lock of her curly hair away from her face as she scooted in closer to him.
"Yes, you have…and all the rest too," she ran her hand up his arm and into his hair, bringing his lips to her's in a first tentative kiss.
He placed a butterfly soft kiss on her temple, pulling her into his arms tightly, "I'm really glad to hear that you've caught up Sara. I knew a long time ago that my heart had already made this commitment."
The End.