Disclaimer: The only person I know in this whole wide world that has the rights to own Harry Potter is the talented J.K. Rowling.
Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy. Yeah right. What will happen if these two rivals are put a Cinderella fairytale that is quickly turning into a parody with these two.
'A Parody of a Well-known Fairy Tale'
by nilfheim
Chapter 01
"Harry, stop them!" I shouted to Harry while Ron gave Malfoy a new facial accessory, that is, a black eye. Malfoy gave him the same.
We're in Potions together with the Slytherstinks every Thursday as usual. I would've counted it as a normal day with all the name-calling and murderous glares except what happened this day was enough to give me a shock especially with Snape's new behavior.
Harry, Ron and I were all waiting for Snape with Gryffindors and ahem- Slytherins. Typical of Malfoy, he would never miss up a chance to start a little intellectual debate together with Pothead and Weasel as he calls Harry and Ron. Malfoy started with "So, how's the famous "Golden Trio" of Hogwarts are doing?"
Ron's usually okay and would've retaliated Malfoy with the usual reply, "Fine enough Ferret, how about you?" or something like that. But this summer Ron was exposed to a dangerous Muggle sport in my opinion but highly amusing to many adrenaline-charged people. Boxing.
The next thing I knew after Malfoy's comment was a bloody nose, a pair of black eyes from different and highly opposite rivals and a boxing match occurring right in front of us, with Harry as commentator. Okay, a little bit too rushed right?
After Malfoy's comment, quick as lightning, Ron aimed straight for Malfoy's nose except it landed on his upper right lip and a trickle of blood followed.
"YOU BLOODY WEASEL!" Malfoy roared giving an uppercut to Ron.
I've never seen anything like it, I mean Malfoy's got sparks of energy around his eyes like some flashing toy and I swore I saw steam coming from his ears. It would've been all too comical except for the fact Ron was his opponent.
"After an unexpected good punch given by Ronald Weasley to Draco Malfoy, Malfoy has just retaliated back with a nice uppercut to his opponent," Harry started saying and stuff like that.
I didn't care, this was going to get worse and by the time Snape's arrived, Snape's going to deduct a hundred House points and Ron will get detention and all that. So I did the only thing to stop those two.
"Petrificus Totalus!" I pointed my wand to both of them and Malfoy and Ron were stiff as ice.
The crowd looked at me and Harry stopped in the middle of something. I pushed my way going to the two.
"First of all I'm highly ashamed that two prefects will be caught fighting over something that is so trivial as a simple hello-"
"That was no hello Hermione and you know that!" Ron interrupted although he couldn't do anything.
"Precisely Ms. Granger," a well-known voice commented from behind.
I slowly looked around and saw Snape looming over us, grinning maliciously and probably planning a hundred ways to torture Ron and a hundred excuses for not deducting points from the Slytherins and giving a less painful detention to Malfoy.
"Detention with Filch, Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Weasley, for two weeks," Snape said and started class as if nothing happened.
I sat down with my mouth hanging open. No long, loathing lectures about the inferiority of Gryffindors and the supremacy of the Slytherins? No point deducting which amounts to a hundred? Heaven on earth!
"And I ask Ms. Granger to watch over your detentions with Filch for two weeks," Snape added as Harry escorted Ron to the hospital wing and Zabini doing the same to Malfoy.
This time my jaw was nearly reaching the ground. Either Snape must be sick or something or everything just went downhill today minus Snape adding to the injury because he was converted by some saintly person. I tried hard to stifle a laugh as Snape gave us instructions for another potion to work on. Snape? Deciding to change his beastly ways to Gryffindors was just as likely as Malfoy kissing a mudblood.
"So how's Ron?" I asked Harry as we sat down for lunch.
"He's okay except that Ferret was making moaning sounds every now and then, making it look as if he's one who's hurt really badly," Harry replied.
"Well that's normal for Malfoy."
We continued eating, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I asked Snape after Potions if he really meant that I have to oversee Malfoy's and Ron's detention. He said yes, meaning he was on his normal self.
"You know Hermione, since you're going to their detention, I'm going to go there too," Harry suggested.
"Well I don't think it's necessary for you to come already Harry," I said, wiping my mouth with a napkin.
"Just in case Malfoy's got a few tricks up his sleeve you know."
"Or you and Ron infuriating him and giving us more trouble."
"Or Zabini going there too and infuriating Ron," Harry added.
"We're not yet sure if Zabini's going there," I said.
"I just heard him asking Malfoy if he could come while we're on the hospital wing."
"Well that settles it."
Harry and I made our way to the library exactly seven thirty, a few minutes earlier than their detention. Unfortunately, Zabini and Malfoy were all early too. Filch decided Malfoy and Ron could help Madam Pince in the library by dusting the bookshelves. It seemed I was the only one eager to spend the time in the library. Harry wandered around while I started doing my homework, starting first with an essay about the properties of moonstones in Potions. Zabini did the same except he sat a few tables away from me.
"Oi, Granger," I heard Zabini calling out.
I prepared my wand just in case Zabini was actually planning to hex me the moment I faced him. I slowly turned around and looked at him.
"What?" I said in an irritated tone, hoping he'll just leave me alone.
"Could you help me with this chart?" he asked, referring to an intricate chart in Arithmancy.
"Come over here and I'll help you," I said, resisting to move.
Zabini and I both ditched Divination and we're in the same class in Arithmancy instead. Professor Vector favors him. Probably because Zabini's the only Slytherin I know in our batch who has enough brains to figure out anything in Arithmancy.
Ten minutes later Harry came back with a pile of books in his arms as Zabini and I looked over parchments, books and scrolls for our homework. I looked over, reading the titles in Harry's pile of books. Cinderella. Sleeping Beauty. Rapunzel. Is this some joke or Harry's really interested in reading fairytales?
"Interesting choice of books Potter," a well-known voice commented behind.
"These aren't just any books, they're a virtual learning experience, kinda like 3D games except you feel, see, taste and touch everything in sight," Harry explained.
"The what?" Malfoy asked.
"Finished cleaning?" Zabini asked.
"Yes, except for that Weasel," Malfoy replied, sitting next to Zabini.
"I'm already finished Malfreak!" Ron hollered, running towards us.
"Finally after what seems like ten years," Malfoy smirked.
I pulled a book from Harry's stack and looked at the title, Cinderella. It was a picture book really and there was nothing odd in them except for one thing, Cinderella has no face. As I stared at the pictures, I suddenly feel sleepy for no reason. And that was the only thing I knew after I settled into deep slumber. Harry was following suit and so did Zabini, Ron and Malfoy.
"Cinderella! Cinderella!" a haughty voice sounding like Pansy Parkinson woke me up.
I opened my eyes and saw myself holding a broomstick in one hand, a dirty, dampened rag in another and I was wearing a dirty brown dress with a matching tattered apron.
"Where are my robes?" I cried aloud, looking at myself in dismay.
"Cinderella! I already told you to clean the house before we go to the ball!" Parkinson barked at me, wearing a fancy ballroom gown that in my opinion didn't suit her and her pug-looking face.
"Yes and Cinderella, cook dinner before we arrive from the ball!" Lavender shouted at me, wearing a peach ballroom gown with swags and ribbons.
"Cinderella? Why are you calling me Cinderella?" I asked.
"Idiot! Because that's your name!" Lavender replied.
"Is this a play of yours or something Lavender?" I asked, getting confused every second.
I heard last night from Parvati that Lavender was going to make a play and every Gryffindor was involved for Professor McGonagall's birthday. I don't how she got hold of Professor McGonagall's birthday though.
"What are you talking about Cinderella? You're supposed to clean this house moron, before we arrive from the ball or else!" Lavender shouted, pointing a finger at me.
I was impressed. I didn't know Lavender could act as a baddie very well.
"Very good Lavender, I'm impressed with your acting," I said, clapping my hands.
Lavender pulled Pansy away from me and they huddled together at the back, shooting glances to me. What the hell are they talking about anyway?
"Hey, I thought we're supposed to make Cinderella's life miserable," Pansy whispered to Lavender.
"I know, only she's not following the script for the story though. Omigosh! Look at the clock, we're going to get late for the ball!" Lavender said, pointing to the grandfather clock on the wall.
"Bye Cinderella, we're going to the ball now and marry a prince and make the rest of your wretched existence in this world even more miserable!" Parkinson called out to me as she and Lavender rushed out of the door.
Parvati suddenly appeared, wearing a royal looking midnight blue gown with ruffles.
"Cinderella, remember to clean this house. And also remember your wicked stepmother!" Parvati cackled.
"Um…" I started but was cut off.
"Ta ta for now, we're going to the royal ball and you're not coming," Parvati added and stuck a tongue to me then slammed the door, leaving me stunned.
I am Cinderella?
AN: Review please people! This is partly inspired from Daa! Daa! Daa! in the Cinderella episode.