This is my first songfic. It's based on "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor", and I heard of this song in Death's Angel, by Kathleen Sky. So read, sing, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or the Drunken Sailor song. But I did come up with the words on my own, and it will have some later show elements, because the song may change over time.

What Do You Do With A Grumpy Vulcan?

What do you do with a grumpy Vulcan? What do you do with a grumpy Vulcan, What do you do with a grumpy Vulcan early in the stardate?

Kolinhar him 'till he has no emotions, Kolinhar him 'till he has no emotions, Kolinhar him 'till he has no emotions early in the stardate.

What do you do with an angry Klingon, What do you do with an angry Klingon, What do you do with an angry Klingon early in the stardate?

(Chekov: Fight him? McCoy: Shout at him 'till he subsides? A Redshirt: Stay out of his way? Me: NO! Hey, wait, that's a great idea!)

Shout and fight 'till he runs away (which you know he won't), Or run away 'till he calms down, You can do these with a Klingon early in the stardate. (A/N: I know, strange, but they started it! Chekov & McCoy: Did not! Me: Did too! Didn't they?)

What do you do with a vengeful Romulan, What do you do with a vengeful Romulan, What do you do with a vengeful Romulan early in the stardate?

Find out what he's avenging and do something about it, Find out what he's avenging and do something about it, Find out what he's avenging and do something about it early in the stardate.

What do you do with a hungry tribble, What do you do with a hungry tribble, What do you do with a hungry tribble early in the stardate? (Scotty: Ah, this one I could tell ye!) (Scotty sings the rest of the stanza)

Give it to the Klingons an' fly off laughing, Give it to the Klingons an' fly off laughing, Give it to the Klingons an' fly off laughing early in the stardate. (Me: No wonder he was mad earlier… --" Did you give one to the Romulan too? Scotty: Aye. Me: Of course. That figures. I hate those fuzzy things. Chekov: Me too. The crew and captain: And us!)

And here's the newest last stanza! Tada! ;D

What do you do with a brainwashed Borg, What do you do with a brainwashed Borg, What do you do with a brainwashed Borg early in the stardate?

Kill the Borg queen and all the drones, Kill the Borg queen and all the drones, Kill the Borg queen and all the drones early in the stardate.

Hope you liked it! Please review so I can see if any improvements need to be made, thanks. And please read my other stuff! I need reviews! ...And so does my friend Omega-Ridley! He's brand-new and he needs reviews worse than I do! Look on my favorites list…that's it…he's there. He writes pretty good stuff.