Chapter 12: Dinner

Shang arrived at the Fa home in the afternoon after stopping in town for directions and approached the two women who were standing at the gate.

"Excuse me. Does Fa Mulan live here?"

The two women stared at him then pointed without a word.

"Thank you." He walked past them and headed in the direction they had pointed.

"Woo, sign me up for the next war!" he heard the older woman quip.

He saw Fa Zhou and approached him confidently, beginning the speech he had planned.

"Honorable Fa Zhou, I…" he trailed off as Mulan appeared from behind him. She looked surprised to see him. "Mulan!" he exclaimed, stunned, forgetting everything he had been planning to say. "Uhh…you forgot your helmet…well, uh, actually, it's your helmet, isn't it?" he said, turning to Fa Zhou. "I mean…"

Mulan stepped forward and took the helmet from him. "Would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked, warmly, smiling.

Shang smiled. Apparently it didn't bother her at all that he had turned into a blithering idiot in front of her.

"Would you like to stay forever?" he heard the older woman crack.

Shang turned toward her; he could see now where Mulan got her spiritedness. He turned back to Mulan, who smiled and shook her head at her grandmother.

"Dinner would be great," he answered, feeling more confident, still smiling as he looked into her face.

Fa Zhou stepped forward then, and Mulan handed him the helmet, introducing him to Shang. The two women approached them then, and Mulan introduced them as her mother and grandmother.

The grandmother looked him up and down then turned to Mulan. "Good work. You really know how to pick them, Mulan."

"Grandma!" Mulan's mother gasped and Shang felt his face turn bright red.

Mulan just laughed. Then she said, "I'll be right back. There is someone I have to thank."

She turned and headed up to the family shrine while Fa Zhou showed him around the garden. Mulan came out of the shrine several minutes later and joined them. They were called in to dinner shortly after that.

Dinner with the Fa family was enjoyable and comfortable, though there were some awkward moments for him. Fa Li and Grandma Fa bombarded Shang with questions. They wanted to know how Mulan got Shan-Yu's sword and the Emperor's crest, how she was in the training, how and when he'd found out she was a woman, why he'd spared her life. All of these questions were asked one after the other, so he didn't even have time to answer. The questions stopped and Shang sat stunned, not knowing where to begin. And he was afraid to answer some of the questions. Fa Zhou intervened, fortunately.

"Yes, we all have many questions. For now, let us just enjoy dinner and thank the ancestors that Mulan is home safe," Fa Zhou said. "And we thank you, Captain, for returning the helmet and honoring us with your presence here."

"How long are you planning to stay in town, Captain?" asked Grandma Fa.

"Oh, I…I may stay for a couple of nights in an inn. We've had many sleepless nights lately. I'm still quite tired," Shang said, shifting uncomfortably. He was embarrassed that his real motive for coming there was too obvious.

"We would be honored if you would stay here," Fa Zhou told him.

"Oh, thank you, I couldn't…"

Fa Zhou waved his hand at him. "We do not turn away a soldier of the Imperial Army. Especially the son of my friend General Li."

"You…were friends with my father?"

Fa Zhou nodded. "I served with him."

"He…he was killed in battle this time…" Shang told him, fighting back the lump that began to form in his throat.

Fa Zhou looked grief-stricken. After a minute he put a kind hand on Shang's shoulder and spoke. "I'm very sorry, my son. He died honorably, defending the Emperor."

"Yes, sir." Shang stared out the window, trying to maintain control over his emotions. He wasn't sure if he believed that anymore. He wondered if maybe his father had been too arrogant about his own strength and the strength of his army, just as Shang had been arrogant. But Fa Zhou was being kind and he accepted that. His gaze flitted back to the table and to Mulan, who sat across from him. She was watching him closely, concern in her face. He felt better as he gazed at her concerned look and at her lovely features. She really was beautiful. He respected and admired her; he always had, even before he'd really seen what she looked like, even before she'd done outstanding deeds of bravery. He'd been in love with her at least since that last night they were at Wu Zhong. He had just been too blinded by his anger and his own narrow views to admit it. He knew he'd acted badly to her far too often. He had to make it up to her. If nothing else, he at least had to bravely admit to her how he felt, no matter what her response.

"Captain?"

Shang turned to Fa Zhou, blushing, realizing he'd seen him staring at Mulan. "I'm sorry?"

"What will you be doing now?"

"Well, when I get home I…I will have to take care of my father's affairs, and my little brother and grandfather."

"How old is your little brother?" Grandma Fa asked.

"Chen is eight. My mother died five years ago. My grandfather took over caring for Chen when my father and I left for battle. But my grandfather is old and his health is failing. It is really up to me to be a father to Chen."

He spent the night in the Fa's guest room, hardly able to sleep knowing that she was so close by. He was disappointed that he'd never had a chance to be alone with Mulan, to talk to her. But he was hoping to do that in the morning.

In the morning Grandma Fa greeted him and told him that there was a festival in town for Mulan. Mulan had already gone to town with her mother and father; Grandma Fa had stayed behind to give Shang breakfast and talk to him. Mulan had told them all about her adventures and Shang realized that it meant she'd told them about him as well. About how he'd behaved to her. It hadn't seemed to make Grandma like him any less, though.

She invited Shang to the festival when he was finished with breakfast and they went into town together and joined Mulan and her parents. He noticed that she looked somewhat uncomfortable at the festival. He wondered what was wrong. The family greeted him warmly, and Mulan looked happy when she said hello to him at least. He walked with her and her family, gazing at her every once in awhile, wishing he could know what was troubling her.

Shang was puzzled as he watched Mulan interact with the townspeople. They seemed nice enough. They complimented her and praised her for her honorable deeds. But rather than look happy at their compliments or even flattered, she seemed to cringe under them.

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After they returned from town, Shang went out to join Mulan in the garden, and found her sitting on a stone bench under a magnolia tree. The vision of her sitting under those blossoms was breath taking. He strode toward her and she looked up on hearing his footsteps.

"Mulan."

"Hello, Shang."

He sat on the bench beside her. "Mulan, are you alright? You looked so unhappy at the festival today. Weren't you enjoying yourself?"

"Not really."

"But it was a celebration for you. I thought you'd feel proud and happy."

Mulan shook her head. "I'm not like other girls, Shang."

"Oh, really?" Shang joked, trying to be light, to cheer her up. It didn't work.

"I never could do anything right," she said sadly.

"I can't believe that."

"It's true. I have always been considered a dishonorable daughter and a disgrace by these people. I failed the matchmaker's test. In the middle of the street, in front of the other villagers, she told me I was a disgrace and that I would never bring honor to my family."

"You've already brought the greatest honor to your family. And to China. You're the most brilliant, courageous, beautiful person I've ever known. You saved my life…twice. I never thanked you for that. And you saved China."

"I am just uncomfortable. Most of those people thought I was a disgrace before and now they're honoring me. A lot of it is false praise. And it's just hard to be home. I'm glad to be with my family again, but it's hard to be back here. I don't know what I'm going to do now."

Shang took her hands in his gently. She looked at her own hands in his, a surprised expression on her face, then looked at him. He wanted so much to embrace her.

"Mulan, I…" he began then trailed off, not knowing where to begin. "Mulan, I want you to know something. I never had any intention of hurting you. Even before I told you about what Zhao had revealed to me."

"You were so angry though."

"I felt betrayed. You had lied to me and deceived me. I felt like you had made a fool out of me. But I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to know why you had done it. When you told me about your father and why you came…I understood. I admired and respected your bravery and your willingness to sacrifice yourself for your father. I would have done anything to save my father." His voice began to falter at that, but he regained his composure and continued. "I knew I couldn't harm you.

"And then, in the Tung Shao Pass…that was all for Chi Fu's benefit. I hated doing it and then leaving you there like that. And I hate that I let Chi Fu treat you the way he did. I'm sorry. I wanted so much to talk to you then, but there wasn't an opportunity. I was just hoping that you would at least go home and be safe. I'm sorry, Mulan. Please forgive me."

"I do forgive you, Shang. I did deceive you. I didn't mean to; I had to. But still. I'm sorry for that. Any other officer would have revealed me and executed me. You didn't. I'm very grateful. You spared my life twice. I will always be grateful for that."

They sat in silence for a few moments, their hands still clasped.

"I still don't understand why your father got a conscription notice."

"Because Chi Fu is an idiot. He decided that one man from every family had to serve and there was no room for interpretation for him. When I tried to explain about my father's wound, he told my father that he should teach me to not speak in a man's presence. It didn't matter what I had to say."

Shang groaned. "So it was Chi Fu who did it. I have never liked Chi Fu."

"With good reason."

"I really am sorry, Mulan. You wouldn't have had to deceive me if it wasn't for that law, and for…well, lots of things…I had no right to take it so personally…" he trailed off. "But you could have told me on your own, Mulan."

"Oh, that would have been a good move. I knew that I could be caught and executed, Shang, but I wasn't going out of my way to see that it happened."

"I wouldn't have hurt you."

"But I didn't know that. I didn't know you. Most men in this world act like Chi Fu. And then you stayed so angry at me."

"Mulan, it wasn't just that. I was angry at a lot of things. I was angry at you…but I was angry at myself, too."

She looked at him, puzzled.

He looked away from her, staring off into the distance, his heart thudding in his chest. "I was angry, but I also respected and admired you, I was fascinated. And then I…" He shifted, uncomfortably. Why was it still so hard for him to say it? He knew that if he went to the ends of the earth he would never find a girl like this and he had to make sure that he didn't let himself lose her again. He looked down at his hands that were still clasping hers tightly. "I couldn't stop thinking about you. I still can't…I want to continue to see you…I want to…well…I-I adore you, Mulan."

"Shang, I adore you, too. I always have. Even when you were being mean to me. It killed me when you were so angry at me and hated me so much."

"That didn't stop you from fighting back, though," he commented, smiling slightly. "I've never in my life had anyone talk to me with such defiance. Every minute you were challenging me."

"I know. I was a brat."

She grinned. Then a frown suddenly crossed her face.

"Shang, you know that I failed the matchmaker's test."

He smiled tenderly at her. "I don't care about the matchmaker's test, Mulan."

"But you are General Li's son. You deserve an honorable wife who is obedient and behaves the way she should. I would never make a good wife to anyone."

"You would make a fine wife for me. If it's what you want, Mulan," he added quickly.

She nodded. "It is."

They were silent for a few moments.

"I wonder if the Emperor will give you a title," he mused.

"He gave me his medallion and the sword. I don't need a title. Besides, I really don't deserve one."

"Sure you do. You should have been the captain, Mulan. You're better at strategy than I am. You're much more creative and insightful than me."

"Shang, you're a great captain. I couldn't have done the things I did without your training and leadership. I learned how to be a fighter from you."

"I know I can train others well. But once we went off to battle…I forgot everything that I should have known. I made the same mistake as my father and underestimated the enemy. And in the Tung Shao Pass, I led us right into the Huns' ambush. Even if that cannon hadn't gone off, they were there waiting..."

"Well, remember, you did have a distraction that kept you from thinking clearly."

He looked at her and smiled. "Yes, you certainly were a distraction."

To his great surprise, she suddenly leaned closer to him. Before he knew it she had leaned up and kissed him on the lips. He was stunned by her forwardness. But he responded, understanding that he had her permission, putting his arms around her and pulling her against him possessively, the way he'd wanted to that last night at Wu Zhong. He pressed his mouth against hers, parting her lips with his own. She whimpered softly and responded to him. He began to feel overwhelmed by the passion and he forced himself to pull away and let go of her.

"Mulan, we shouldn't do this yet," he muttered, breathlessly, "It isn't proper…for an unmarried man and woman. Besides, your father will kill me if he comes out and sees this."

"No. He'll just force you to stay forever," she quipped, leaning in and kissing his lips again.

He kissed her back, then put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. She leaned her head against his shoulder and he sighed, blissfully, feeling the weight of her against him.

"You already know now that he doesn't have to force me."

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A/N: I know, sappy, sappy ending – but they had to get together. Story continues in the sequel 'Homecomings'.