Author's Note: This chapter is set at the memorial for Jason and Courtney's baby. I hope you love it!
Emily came as soon as she heard the tragic news.
"Jason," she whispered as she approached the man who she admired in every possible way, despite what he did for a living.
"Hey Emily," he said as he embraced his little sister. He didn't know how to deal with all the emotions going through him, and if he didn't know how to deal with his own, how could he help his wife when she needed him? The very thought of not being able to help her scared him to death.
Emily felt tears coming to her eyes very quickly. Her niece had died. Her brother's daughter was gone, way too soon. It wasn't fair, she thought as she rubbed her hands up and down her grieving brother's back. It wasn't fair, Jason and Courtney were two of the greatest people that she had ever known, and for this to happen to them again, was basically unthinkable. And to top it off, guilt surged through her. She had taken a pregnancy test, thanks to Nikolas, and it was positive. Emily didn't think she could be a mother. That she didn't deserve to be, while good women like Courtney, couldn't have children no matter how hard they tried or if they did everything right.
"Thank you, for coming," Jason said as he pulled away and looked to his left, where Courtney was talking to, to his extreme surprise, Elizabeth.
"I'll always be here for you Jas, and for Courtney. You're my brother, she's my sister, and I'm so, so sorry," she admitted as she broke down in tears, "You two deserved that little girl, more than anyone."
Jason merely nodded when he felt a hand on his shoulder, it was a red-eyed Courtney.
"Lucky," Elizabeth said as she approached him.
"Hey, I thought you'd be here, where's Cameron?" He asked as he bent to kiss her cheek.
"I thought it was best to leave him home, you know, I didn't want Courtney to be upset, she's already been through enough," Elizabeth said as she wiped away a stray tear that was still lingering from her heartbreaking conversation with Courtney. She felt so horrible for Courtney. Sure, she wasn't her favorite person in the world a few years back, but they had demolished the dislike. They weren't friends, but Elizabeth thought that, maybe eventually, they could be.
"Yeah, have you talked to Jason yet?" Lucky asked her, feeling a slight twinge of jealousy at the name. He didn't particularly like the man.
"No, but I talked to Courtney…" Elizabeth said and finished with a sigh.
"Didn't she lose her baby a few years ago too?" Lucky asked as he wiped away her tears.
"Yeah, Lorenzo Alcazar kidnapped her, she jumped off the boat and lost the baby. But this, this was different. She felt the baby kick, heard her heartbeat, saw her. They saw her Lucky," Elizabeth said as she broke down and fell into his chest. "I don't know what I would do if I lost Cameron, I can't believe that she has the strength to even stand up. I admire her, more than anyone else that I've ever met."
Lucky held onto the love of his life tightly. He knew that Courtney and Elizabeth weren't friends. But they could bond over this. He knew that Liz would help however she could. She was just that kind of person.
"Sonny? Could I talk to you for a minute?" Carly asked as she approached him, trying her hardest to keep her eyes dry.
"What's wrong?" Sonny asked her, lying a protective hand on her arm when he saw her tears begin to form again. They had done so much crying together since the death of Courtney and Jason's baby. Their niece. Sonny's eyes began to burn with fresh tears just thinking about his little sister, and about his best friend, and what they had to go through.
"I- I feel awful," Carly said as she began to sob. "I told her not to worry, that the baby would be fine. I told her there was nothing to worry about, that if she was a fighter like her parents, nothing could keep her from meeting them," Carly broke down as Sonny held out his arms for her. She fell gratefully into them, needing someone to reassure her more than anything at the moment.
"You were just trying to help her, that's all. She doesn't blame you, she loves you for reassuring her. Courtney would never be upset with you for that," Sonny said as he smoothed her hair back from her face.
"You're sure?" she asked, almost pathetically.
"I'm sure," he said as he kissed her forehead and held her close to him once again.
"I don't think I can do this Jason," Courtney said as she led the way out of the church and threw her hands up toward the cloudy sky. "No, I know that I can't do this."
As she turned around to face him, he felt his heart break. Her tears were causing her hair to stick to her cheeks. Her cheeks were red and puffy and her mascara was now a mere memory of thick eyelashes. And then, right before he went to open his mouth to reassure her, it began to rain.
He stared at Courtney, who stood, unmoving, as the rain began to fall more heavily. Raining buckets, was what she liked to call it when it rained like this. He moved toward her, closer until he could touch her face. "I know you can do this, you'll do if even if you don't want to, even if it kills you, because that's how you are. You want to honor our daughter's memory, and all the people in there don't care if your makeup is a mess or if your hair isn't perfect. All those people in there care about you, that's why they're here. They want to help make things better for you," Jason said as he pulled her now soaking wet hair back from out of her face.
"Jason, I don't want to say goodbye," Courtney softly said so that Jason had to strain to hear her, but he did. His heart was crushed. Shattered. Completely broken.
"I don't either," he said as he grabbed her and pulled her into a strong embrace knowing that was what she needed, "I don't either."
So they stood outside, in the pouring rain, just holding each other. And in all honesty, that was just what they needed.
Carly had seen them and decided to take matters into her own hands. Courtney and Jason would need clean clothes. So she sprinted out of the church and to her car, trying to do whatever possible to make things easier for her best friends. Even if it was just getting them clothes, she'd do it. She'd do anything.
An hour later-
"Thank you all for coming," Courtney said as she stifled back a sob and approached the podium. "The priest told me that someone else could speak for me, but I'd prefer to say the things I want to say, the way I want to say them, I think I need to." Courtney felt Jason's hand on her lower back, urging her on. And suddenly, she found the strength to continue.
"For nine months, I had that beautiful little girl growing inside of me. I could feel her, feel her getting bigger and stronger. We, we felt her kick," Courtney felt hot, fast tears racing down her cheeks.
She looked out into the crowd and saw Carly, crying. Sonny, holding Michael and Morgan, giving her silent support. She saw Elizabeth, wiping away her tears and smiling because Courtney was doing what she thought she couldn't. She saw Emily, beautiful Emily, with her head in her hands and Nikolas rubbing her back. And then she spotted Monica, Alan, Skye, and Edward. The sight of them, at her daughter's memorial, made tears pour down even faster.
"Jason and I, we loved her. And now she's gone. This shouldn't have happened. Not to a little baby girl, as sweet and innocent as she was. At first I thought I did something wrong, that it was my fault, but all of you in your own ways, let me know that it wasn't. My daughter's in a better place now, and it's time for me to let her go," Courtney began to choke on her tears and couldn't go on. She made her way down the few steps leading to the pews and sat next to Carly in the first row. The older brunette embraced her best friend and held her close as Jason began to speak.
"My wife is the strongest, most amazing woman that I've ever known," Jason began as he locked eyes with Courtney who was shaking her head. "She has gotten me through many things in our marriage. And I couldn't manage to find anyone more kind, supportive, and loving than she is."
Jason saw Carly nod and Sonny lock eyes with him. Then Jason looked at Michael, that sweet little boy who was once upon a time, his son. Tears came to his eyes.
"I was never very good with words, but I just wanted to thank you all for being here. It means so much to Courtney and me. I don't really know what to say," Jason trailed off and wiped his eyes. He hated when people saw him cry. It wasn't something he normally did.
"I fell in love with my daughter as soon as Courtney told me she was pregnant, Courtney loved her more than I ever thought that I'd be able to. But I was wrong. I loved that little girl so much that it hurt," Jason didn't even bother to wipe away his tears now, and neither did the people who were listening to his heartfelt speech. "For the first time since the accident, I could picture my life. I could picture the future. I saw Courtney holding our daughter, and I saw her taking her first steps. I could see her when she was five and tripped and fell and needed me to kiss everything better, when she went on the bus to school the first day, and me not wanting to let go of her hand. I could see all of it, because of all the love I already felt for her. My daughter isn't here anymore, but she's in my heart, she always will be," Jason said as he too stepped down and walked to where Courtney sat and put his arm around her and buried his face in her hair.
He was barely listening as the priest said a prayer, and as he spoke his piece. Jason was never religious, he may have been, but he surely wasn't now. But he found himself asking God to take care of his little girl, to protect her and watch over her. Jason knew that he wasn't going to see her again, Courtney was but he wasn't. He wasn't going to heaven, if there was a heaven. It gave him a surprising amount of peace to know that his baby was an angel.
"I'd like you to all keep Emma Caroline Morgan in your thoughts, pray for her, she's in a better place now," the priest finished and everyone stood up to place single white roses next to the teddy bear by the podium. That teddy bear was the first toy she'd received. Jason had brought it home the day after Courtney had told her about the baby.
"I didn't know they named the baby after me," Emily whispered as she stepped into line, Nikolas holding her hand.
"Emma Caroline Morgan. It would have been perfect," Nikolas whispered into his fiancée's hair as they made their way slowly up the aisle and placed their roses on top of all the others.
"I'll remember her forever," Emily whispered as she placed her hand on her belly and went to hug her sister in-law.
Later, after all the guests had given their condolences to Courtney and Jason, they were the only two that remained in the church. It was dark now, and Courtney was sitting next to the roses, twisting one of them around in her hand.
"What you said was beautiful," she whispered, never taking her eyes off the single white rose.
"I didn't mean to talk that much, it all just came out," Jason admitted truthfully as he walked over to the candles and lit one.
"Your family came," Courtney said as she turned her head to look at them.
"I talked to Monica after, she feels horrible," Jason said as he shook his head and went to sit down next to his wife.
"She was touched by what you said, probably even more than I was," Courtney told him as he slipped his arm around her shoulders.
"I love you," Jason said as he kissed the side of Courtney's head, not wanting to talk about his family any longer. Courtney, she was his family.
"I know you do, I thank God everyday because of it," Courtney said as she laid her head against his shoulder. "Do you think things will get better?"
Courtney was being so honest, and she was so vulnerable, that Jason cringed at her question. "Yeah, they will. It'll be hard, but we have our family to help us through it. We have each other. So let's just live through each day, one day at a time, okay?" Jason asked as he, again, kissed her head.
"Okay," Courtney whispered as she let more tears slip down her cheeks. She quickly turned and put the rose back next to all the roses and said, "Goodbye Emma, Mommy and Daddy love you very much."