My Reasons

Summery: After years of service Roy finally asks Hawkeye why she's still with him, and he gets a surprising answer. (Royai)

Author's note: Based solely on the manga b/c I haven't seen the entire FMA anime. Lots of spoilers to the manga, specifically chapters 37-40. Feel free to flame me, considering this is my first FMA fic…but please no "ED AND ROY SHOULD BE TOGETHER OMG THEY'RE PERFECT!1!11" cause frankly I don't care. If you do want to flame/criticize this fic, I say "go ahead". I like to hear comments on how it can be made better. This fic is primary RoyxRiza. Please enjoy…and hopefully review :) 

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

"Why do you stay?" he asked her. Riza's heart jumped. She hadn't known he'd woken up. The hospital room was quiet and she couldn't help but feel a bit unnerved as his question broke the silence around them. She'd anticipated this moment for years and for years it'd never come. It had been so long she was surprised that he finally brought it up, now of all times.

After a moment of silence Roy assumed that she hadn't heard him and he asked again, "Why do you stay?" His voice was dry and the pain medication's flavor still sat on his tongue.

"Because there needs to be someone here all the time. We can't risk those…things coming after you to finish what they started." She was playing dumb. She knew that what he was really asking was 'Why did she stay with him when she could be assigned anywhere.' She'd known the question was coming for years and she'd practiced what to say…but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to explain. It was too painful, she didn't want to re-live bad memories…she'd rather just play dumb and hope he'd drop the subject. He didn't.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Roy said. His Lieutenant didn't look at him…she just sat in the chair next his bed and stared at her hands. The room enveloped itself in complete silence. The lonely hospital room now felt much lonelier than his last one. The last one he'd shared with his second lieutenant, Havoc, but Roy had been moved to a separate part of the hospital to allow for the doctors to treat his wounds more effectively. There was no other patient in this room…no company, save his first lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. Moments passed and Hawkeye still didn't offer any answer to his question. "Why do you stay…with me?"

Hawkeye sighed audibly, "I have my reasons." This answer frustrated Mustang. She'd always been so secretive as to her intentions. She never freely offered information about herself unless he pried…it was one of the things that really annoyed him about her. 'I wish, just once that she'd actually tell me something…' They'd been side by side for almost ten years…since the middle of the Ishbal war, and he still didn't know her reasons for standing by him…protecting him. He'd thought about it a lot over the years, but he'd never really dwelled on it…until now. After he'd been injured there was nothing to do other than sit in the hospital bed and think. No matter what he thought of his thoughts always wandered back to her. Roy had come up with every excuse under the sun as to why she'd possibly stay, but none of them added up to a reasonable explanation to her reasoning…and Hawkeye was the most reasonable person he'd ever known. He knew that she couldn't possibly be staying with him in hopes of being promoted…that was the most ridiculous reason for anyone to stay with him. If she'd only been in the military to be promoted she would have already had a hundred chances for that, and none of those chances would have allowed for her to stay with him. Another stupid theory as to why she stayed was because she was in love with him… not only was that one ridiculous…it was painful as well. Why would she want to stay with someone she knew full well she couldn't get involved with? The military forbid any sort of romantic relationship with each other. Roy knew all too well how painful it was to be so close to someone, but never be allowed to act on those emotions…he went through it every day. He'd often thought that maybe if he could get her reassigned then maybe he wouldn't think about her…but he knew that it wouldn't be possible, she'd been with him too long, and even if it did hurt him to be around her and never express his feelings, she was still too good of a soldier to let go. He needed supporters to get his way to the top, and letting one of them go could easily send his dreams of Furher straight to the gutters.

So he was back to square one. 'I have my reasons', she'd said. Well Roy was tired of trying to come up with her reasons…he was going to get a straight answer if it killed him…and knowing his lieutenant's accuracy with a gun that was more than just a possibility.

"Lieutenant, I know you have your reasons, but I also know that you can't be here because you just want to climb the ranks. You and I both know that you could have easily been a colonel yourself by this time if you hadn't stayed with me. There has to be some logical reason to this illogical reasoning." He said still attempting to get a real answer out of her. He'd intentionally left out his reasoning about her being in love with him 'No point in making us both feel uncomfortable with our situations' he thought sadly…A small part of him really wished that love really was the reason she stayed with him…not that either would be able to act on their feelings…'but it would still be nice to know I'm not the only one that is feeling something.'

She stared at her hands. She'd been doing that a lot lately…in fact Roy couldn't remember the last time she'd really looked at him since he'd gotten hurt. 'She didn't even look at me when I yelled at her…' He regretted doing that now, but he couldn't help it. He'd heard the woman…that homunculus…taunting Hawkeye…he'd heard her say that "this woman doesn't want to keep living" as he'd stumbled down the hallway toward the sounds of their voices. He'd been sure that the homunculus had already killed his subordinate and he'd barely been able to contain himself…his friend…someone he loved had been killed and he wasn't about to allow this…thing to kill others. It was only after he'd finally killed the homunculus once and for all that he'd felt someone's warm arms wrap around him. It was the perfect blessing to open his eyes and see her holding him. He'd dreamt countless times of waking up in her arms…but not quite like that.

Later he'd yelled at her, screamed at her for giving up…it wasn't that he was so angry at her…but more at himself. He hated to think that if he hadn't been there, she would have just allowed herself to die…He still couldn't help but wonder why she would have just given up after she was told he was dead…he couldn't be that important to her…could he?

Suddenly she looked up at him…directly at him. She dreaded telling him the reasons behind her actions, but she couldn't avoid his questions any longer. "Sir, do you really want to know?"

He nodded matter of factly, "Yes."

"Well it's a long story—"

"We have the time." He finished.

She sighed…she really was going to have to tell him.