Disclaimer: They do not belong to moi. Wish they did though as I would be very rich and happy (well in theory).
A/n: This is a response to the challenge set on the AD/MM board by Ginger Newts. It's not a typical AD/MM story that I am known to write but I do hope you enjoy it though.
A Rock and a Hard Place.
A man with sandy coloured haired sat hunched over on a bar stool, staring into an empty glass. The Three Broomsticks was particularly busy on this uneventful Monday evening so the man was able to slip in unnoticed by the rowdy crowds that were having drinking contests and playing poker secretly. He had in the pub for half an hour now and had been nursing his drink for twenty-five minutes before downing it in one.
He was not known as a man who would brood about things but tonight, he was. Something had happened and it was completely unexpected, he didn't know what to do. He had turned his back on love many years ago after a heart breaking experience left him a broken man. He had been happy, he had loved a beautiful woman and he had thought she loved him in return. He could still remember the day it happened, it was as clear as this mornings Daily Prophet. He had been about to propose then she then she discovered his secret and ran screaming from the house they had shared for five months. He had decided then, that a man such as himself could not be loved or be allowed to love.
Twenty years had drifted away faster than he had expected, they had been twenty lonely years, which he had managed to fill slightly with the existence of friends. Slowly his friends began to marry and have children and he became less and less involved with them. They knew of his secret and accepted it but he also saw how they would look at him when he was holding they're first born. One friend had stayed extremely loyal and to that he was grateful, she had been his rock over the trying years and he admired her greatly. She had been his head of house when he had been a student at Hogwarts, she hadn't treated him any differently to the other students she dealt with. Looking back at it, he now knew that he had always been a little bit in love with Minerva McGonagall.
He had been struggling to get this life back on track since the death of a fellow misfit, his best male friend. She had been there for him, making him look forward to life and not to live in the past. He had resisted her at first, tried to shut her out of his life but when he did that, his world seemed darker and lonelier. So he had opened the door to her and let her in, she had been his salvation and to her he was eternity grateful. He couldn't pin point the exact day or place that he had fallen in love with her but he could tell you the moment he finally figured it out.
It had been a clear night, ideal for star gazing when the order had received word from Hogwarts that Dolores Umbridge had attacked Hagrid and the person that had rushed to his defence. He had fallen back in his chair as Alastor Moody announced that three stunners had struck his Minerva directly to her chest. He closed his eyes and Alastor explained that she had been transported to St Mungos where she was being closely monitored. He had rushed straight to her bedside and had sat with her all night, willing her to get better and cursing Dolores Umbridge. He had watched her sleeping; she looked so angelic laying on her back on the bed. The realisation had hit him when he had spoken the words 'I love you!' without realising.
"Wanna top up?" asked Rosmerta breaking into his thoughts.
"Sure!" he replied without even looking up from the glass, he heard her fill up his glass and he rooted around his worn pockets from the money. He laid it out on the bar and then placed his hands around the glass.
Rosmerta eyed him curiously and decided to leave him well known; it was well known to give him a wide birth when he was in one of his moods. She watched him take a sip of his drink before walking away and dealing with other customers who were a lot friendlier.
Placing his glass down on the bar mat, the man clenched his fists together and rested his forehead against them. He had two choices; he could tell how he felt about her or keep his feelings to himself. He didn't even know if she was available, they all had secrets and they were secrets because they needed to be for safety reasons. His secret had been aired publicly and he had nearly been out-casted from the wizarding world.
"Hello my dear friend," came a voice from behind him "may I join you?"
He knew that voice anywhere; the man who the voiced belonged to had been his father figure as he was going up. He was a fine man, the best of men. Intelligent, witty and slightly eccentric with a bold fashion sense.
"Sure pull up a stool Albus!" replied the man looking up from his glass for the first time since he had been given the glass.
"Can I get you a drink?" Albus Dumbledore asked.
"Got one!" he replied as he shook his glass to show his new drinking companion.
Albus ordered himself a butterbeer and stared at his friend, his eyes twinkling brightly. He had been concerned about the man before him for sometime and had finally been able to track him down at The Three Broomsticks.
"Something on your mind?" Albus asked
"Do you think that everyone has a right to be in love?" came the reply.
Albus hadn't expected those words to tumble from his friend's lips; he had thought it would have been something else. Getting over his shock, he thought for a moment.
"I believe that everyone has the right my friend," answered Albus "why do you ask me such a question?"
"I do not believe that I am worthy of being loved," answered the sandy coloured haired man "there is much darkness within me and I can not escape that, it is part of who I am."
"You are worthy," said Albus who was still trying to get over the fact that they were talking about love and not the death of Sirius Black "a woman who is worthy of you will accept you for what you are.
"I am in love Albus," he declared "but there is no future in it. If I tell her, she will avoid me and that would make working for the order harder than it already is."
"I am sure Tonks would not refuse you!"
"I am not speaking of Tonks but of Minerva," he admitted.
Albus felt the wind being knocked out of him; he really hadn't expected that name to be spoken from the younger man's lips. Albus coughed and tried to regain his usual composure and smooth voice.
"Minerva?" he asked
"Yes," replied the younger wizard "Minerva. I finally understand my feelings for her and I am unsure what to do. She is beautiful, witty and intelligent. She has a smile that could light up the darkest of nights"
"If you are unsure then perhaps it is not wise to reveal them to her." Suggested Albus who hoped his friend would take his advice.
"Albus, you know her better than any of us. Is she seeing anyone?"
Albus had no idea how to answer this question. The younger wizard's eyes were pleading for him to give him answers but Albus couldn't divulge any. They were in a crowded pub, many people could overhear them and Albus wasn't going to risk telling a secret even if he wanted to put his friend out of misery.
"Minerva is private," answered Albus, who chose his words carefully "her personal life is private and she doesn't talk about it."
"Well there is one way to find out," said the man "tell her how I feel and see what happens."
"Are you sure?" questioned Albus "You don't sound sure."
Albus felt that he was between a rock and a hard place, he had been in many situations but this had to be one of the worst. He could understand his younger friends feelings for Minerva, they were exactly the same even. Albus loved Minerva and he knew that Minerva loved him back because she had married him forty-two years ago. Albus knew that Minerva had taken the man before him under her wing; she had helped him through tough times and loved him as a mother would love a son. He had no idea that he had been developing feelings for his wife and Albus was sure that Minerva was also unaware of the situation, as she would have mentioned it to him.
"She must feel something for me," exclaimed the younger wizard.
"Maybe you are reading too much into it!" suggested Albus
"My instincts tell me I am not and do you know what else they are telling me?" he snapped
"What?" asked Albus with curiosity?
"That you are trying to put me off from telling her!"
Albus bit his lip; he hadn't meant to come across so obvious. He had hoped that he could make his friend look into things and see if he had misread something.
"I am not," answered Albus "I am just trying to think about it before charging off and ruining your friendship."
"Are you telling me this so you can keep her for yourself?" sneered the younger wizard, he hadn't mean to turn menacing but he was sure Albus was trying to get him to conceal his feelings.
"My friend, do not take that tone with me!" Albus replied, keeping calm.
"Do you think you have some sort of say in her life Albus?" he questioned, "She deserves to be happy as do I. Do you want her to be alone because you are alone?"
Questions were fired one after the other, Albus was having a hard time keeping up with them all. He refused to answer a single question, which infuriated his companion even more.
"Why don't you speak," he asked, "I am right aren't I and you cant think of anything to say. Well I am going to tell her and we will be happy."
"She is married already and happy!" replied Albus
"What?"
"Minerva is happily married!" repeated Albus "Has been for forty-two years."
"You lie," snapped his friend "she never mentions him, we haven't even seen him."
"Remus J. Lupin have you ever known me to lie to you?" asked Albus
Remus shook his head; Albus had never lied to hurt him. He might have withheld certain things but they were withheld because it was safer. Remus suddenly realised who he had been talking too about Minerva, he knew it was Albus Dumbledore but he had been unaware that he was also her husband.
"You?" asked Remus
Albus nodded slowly, he saw the upset look in his friend's eyes. Albus wished he could have been honest with all of their friends from the start then something like this could have been prevented.
"I would like to be left alone now Albus," asked Remus "but before you go, please promise me that you will not speak a word of this to her. It is bad enough that you know I am in love with your wife."
"You have my word," agreed Albus "I am sorry for all this."
Remus grunted and returned to his drink, he felt a fool and he wasn't even sure how he was going to face Albus Dumbledore in the cold light of the next morning. Albus left his friend alone at the bar, he felt for the young man but nothing could be done. Minerva was happily married to him and they had two grown up children, life was happy because she was in it. She was his life and Albus was so grateful that she chose to love him. Albus couldn't help but feel semi flattered that his wife was still found attractive by other men, to him she was a goddess but at times she would question her femininity. He would have liked to tell her that someone else loved her as he did, he wouldn't have minded telling her because he was secure in his relationship.
Albus apparated to the safe spot near Hogwarts and made his way to the rooms he shared secretly with his wife. The lateness of the night told him that she would probably be asleep and hugging his pillow to her until he returned from his outing. He found her cuddled up on his side of the end, hugging his pillow to her chest. Albus couldn't help but feel that he was the luckiest man in the whole world. He quickly got ready for bed and slid in beside her. He prised the pillow from her vice like grip and wrapped his own arms around her. She snuggled into him and her eyes flickered open.
"Hello love!" she whispered
"Hello darling," he replied "I love you so much and I need to know that I feel that I am the luckiest man in the world to have you in my life!"
"Are you drunk?" she asked as she closed her eyes and smiled in the darkness.
"No," he answered with a chuckle "I didn't even finish the one drink I brought. I just needed you to know that. Now go back to sleep otherwise you will be grumpy in the morning."
"Albus!"
"What?" he asked
"I love you too!" she told him before snuggling into his chest and falling fast asleep again.
The end!