Chap. 3 The legend of Honda Tohru's Birthday

Lavender-cat princess: Yes, Hatori was mad because he had to baby sit Ayame. Momiji is one thing, but Ayame is another, more annoying and hard thing.

Magic and sparkle: No, review your arse off is just my way of saying "please review, reader-sama!"… That and I like the word 'arse'.

Well, instead of making them drunk, I accidentally made them high on ecstasy. I'm sorry!

"Ahhh," said Shigure and patted his filled stomach. "Now when we've all eaten, lets order some drinks, shall we?"

"Yaay!" Ayame agreed.

"I HAVEN'T EATEN! YOU ORDERED ME LEEK, ONION AND MISO! HOW CAN I EAT?" Kyo hollered, because he always hollers in the beginning of a chapter.

"ALCOHOLIC DRINKS FOR ALL!" Shigure hollered back.

"Err... Shigure-san, we're underage! We can't drink alcoholic drinks yet!" said Tohru.

"ALCOHOLIC DRINKS FOR ALL! ... Except maybe Hatori! We'll need a driver, right?" Ayame hollered happily.

"We're underage, you stupid…" Yuki said, but stopped himself when he realised it was too late to stop them.

"ALCOHOLIC DRINKS FOR ALL!" Momiji hollered even MORE happily than Ayame. Everybody stopped and looked at him for a second.

"ALCOHOLIC DRINKS FOR ALL!" Ayame, Shigure and Momiji then sung, while dancing around on the table. Well, MOMIJI danced around on the table, at least.

"Excuse me, miss! We want ALCOHOLIC DRINKS FOR ALL! EXCEPT HATORI!" Ayame said, or rather said AND yelled, to Large Marge.

"Alright, but I don't want no kisses or hugs!" Large Marge replied and winked.

"That thought never crossed my mind!" said Ayame, unaware of the wink.

"They're acting unbelievably drunk already, if you ask me." Yuki remarked to Hatori, who nodded.

"Yes. As a doctor, I find it strange how two grown men can get so drunk after just THINKING about alcohol."

"What about Momiji?"

"He's always like that."

Large Marge gave them their drinks, 5 beers for Tohru, Shigure, Momiji, Kyo and Yuki, white whine for Ayame, and a coke for Hatori.

Tohru being the naïve, innocent little girl she is, only tasted the beer. She didn't like the taste, so she just left it there, unnoticed. She ended up sober.

Yuki was only going to drink very little, but his brother, Ayame, told him: "Don't be such a wuss, little brother! If you can't drink like a man, how will you ever look like one?" The funny thing was that Yuki actually BELIEVED his dimwit for brother, so he drank his ARSE off. He ended up really drunk.

Kyo only tasted the beer before he got to drunk to know what he was doing. He is one of those people who just can't stand alcohol. He ended up dead drunk.

Momiji drank his heart out, and he liked it! Yet, he went home sober.

Ayame and Shigure drank like two grown up should. A lot. They ended up drunk in each others arms. No! Not NAKED in each others arms! That's just CRAYZAY!

Hatori, who was drinking coke, didn't end up drunk for some reason. To quote Haru: A mystery…

"Hehehehe… Yuki, man!" Kyo giggled.

"Yes, Kyo-chan?" Yuki replied giggly.

"I-I love you man!" Kyo hugged Yuki tightly, and Yuki hugged back.

"I love you too, man!" A teary eyed Yuki replied. They started crying.

"How lovely for them! They've finally found each other!" Tohru said, filled with pride of the two boys. "They finally became friends!"

"They're drunk, though." Hatori remarked.

"What a wonderful way to be drunk!"

"Ahahahaha! Shii-san! Shii-san! Gure-san! Look at them! Are they GAY?" Ayame laughed and pointed at Kyo and Yuki, who had fallen asleep.

"I-I think so, Aya-san!"

"HOW LOVELY!"

And they both laughed at them, until they woke up, and started to get violent.

Momiji sang heart fully: EVERYONE HAS TOOTHPICK ON THEIR TABLE! WE LIKE THE SHISH KEBAB 'CAUSE THE BEEF HAS GOOD FLAVOUR! EVERYONE HAS TOOTHPICK ON THEIR TABLE!

But Momiji wasn't drunk. Not at all. He was actually more sober than HATORI! Oh my gawd! AND HATORI WAS ONLY DRINKING COKE! Either Hatori can't even handle coke, or Momiji is really, really tolerant to alcohol! I would guess on the second one, actually.

"Tooooohruuuu!" Kyo sang happily, after he'd stopped crying and hugging and sleeping.

"Eh? Yes, Kyo-kun?" Tohru replied, smiling.

"You know… You're really cute when you smile, Honda-san!" Yuki cut in and giggled.'

Tohru blushed and looked in another direction, while mumbling "Thank you Yuki-kun…"

"Hey, rat-boy! I was going to say that!" Kyo yelled, and hit Yuki over the head.

"Shut up, baka neko!" Yuki said and slapped him back.

"BITCH FIGHT!" Shigure and Ayame hollered.

And so, Yuki and Kyo bitch fought. Shigure, Ayame and Mimiji cheered them on, while shouting "fight, fight!" But in the middle of the battle both of them spaced off and stared into space behind one another.

"Hihihihi! A fat lady!" Yuki giggled and pointed at a fat lady behind Kyo. Kyo spinned around, and stared at the fat lady. Now both were staring at the fat lady, while giggling, like Beavis and Butthead. Though they're not stoned… or ARE they?

"Down at an English fair one evening I was there. When I heard a showman shouting underneath the flair." Ayame started singing.

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. There they are all standing in a row." Shigure continued. And so, Shigure and Ayame started singing lovely coconuts. It annoyed the hell out of the entire dump, but they didn't care; they were having fun! Soon, Momiji joined in. Not because he was drunk or anything, he just loved to sing.

"Excuse me, Large M… err, Miss, what's in the alcohol?" Hatori asked Large Marge, and nearly called her that.

"Oh, just the usual… and a special ingredient." She winked.

"What exactly is that special ingredient?"

"Oh, just a healthy dose of ecstasy!" She laughed, and ran away before she had to answer any more questions that could get her, and her fellow workers in jail.

"I thought they were acting a bit strange… Drunken people do NOT act like that!" Hatori said to Tohru, because he was proud over his discovery. He would never ADMIT to be proud, though.

"I'm so happy for you!" Tohru, who could see Hatori was proud, said happily. "Err… But why is Momiji acting as usual?"

"Oh… He's immune to drugs."

"He is? That's fabulous!" Ayame popped up from nowhere and said. And just at surprising and popping he'd appeared, he disappeared again.

"What the hell was that?" Hatori asked himself.

"I don't know…" He answered. I'M JUST KIDDING! Tohru asked that!

Suddenly, out of nowhere, Large Marge appeared in a pink cloud. But in reality, she just walked over to them and DEMANDED some money.

"Here's the amount of money you'll have to pay for the onions and leeks." She said and handed Shigure a piece of paper.

"334488? HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?" of course, Shigure was now drunk out of his mind and saw double. "WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT!"

"Then there's only one thing left to do!" Ayame said in a "know it all" way, like Shigure did in the first chapter. I think.

"What's that?" Shigure asked and looked curiously and drunkly at Ayame.

"RUN!"

And so everyone in the Sohma family that was present, and Honda Tohru, dashed out of the restaurant and ran! They ran like hell!

And that concludes the legend of Honda Tohru's birthday. May she have a Merry Christmas!

I read somewhere that Tohru is a Taurus, and that's great because so am I! My birthday was May 17! Happy Birthday Me!

Anyways, I'm not happy with this chapter, and I'll probably rewrite it sometime in the future. And I know I said I would only write 3 chapters, but I'm thinking… maybe a sequel? What do you think, reader?