TK:  Wow, I got it right on the first try!

Others:  (applaud)

 ::Zegimon takes his head out of the sack and turns to look at Jake. He then grabs the sack in his mouth and starts running away. Jake follows him:: GIVE IT!

Director: ::runs his hand over his face::

      Matt:  I'm too sexy.

 I don't get paid enough for this...

(Tai is kneeling next to the unconscious Sora.)

      Sora:  Noooo!  Not this again!

      Tai:   This is going to haunt us the rest of our lives, isn't it?

Tai: You had me very worried for a second, Sora. I thought I had lost you. Please don't ever make me worry like that again. ::he bends over to kiss her::

      Tai:  (sighs) Well, go ahead, guys.  Lay it on thick.

      Matt:  What do you mean?

      Sora:  You're not going to taunt us mercilessly about the kissing?

      Joe:   Nah, it's been done.

      Mimi:  Yeah, that is *so* three segments ago.

Jake: ::Still chasing Zegimon:: Give that back! ::he jumps and tackles Zegimon, and both of them crash onto Tai and Sora::

Tai+Sora:

      TK & Kari:  (sing-songy) K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

      Tai:   Hey!  I thought there wasn't gonna be any more taunting!

      Kari:  *They* promised; *we* didn't.

 Hey!

Jake: ::grabs the lunch bag from Zegimon:: Finally! Now I can eat my lunch! ::he opens it and looks inside. His face turns a pale green::

      Mimi:  Ohhh!  He turned into Palmon!

      Matt:  Or Mister Yuck.

      Joe:  (shudders)

On second thought, you can have it...::he gives it to Zegimon::

Director: CUT!!!

      Tai:  Haikeeba!

(Next Scene—Part Three. The Digidestined are trudging through a swamp.)

Mimi: I hate this! All this muck is disgusting!

      Izzy:  Tell me about it.  I can't begin to tell you how many MUCKs I've been on that've gone completely to waste because of stupid newbies and lackadaisical wizzes.

Palmon: ::sneaks up behind her and pushes her facefirst into the mud:: HAHAHAHA!!

      Kari:  When household plants go bad.

Mimi: ::gets up, totally covered in gunk:: All right, that's it! ::She picks up a glob of mud and hurls it at Palmon, but who dodges and it hits Kari in the face:: Oops! Sorry, Kari!

      Mimi:  Oh, I made a little rhyme!  Tee-hee.

Gatomon: Yeah, and you'll be a lot sorrier! ::She throws mud at Mimi but it hits Matt in the head::

Matt:  Argh, it's Woodstock '97 all over again.

Sora:  Let's see if they set something on fire.

Matt: AHHHH!!! MY HAIR!!! My industrial strength hair-gel is neutralized by dirt! Nooo! ::Matt's hair starts to droop down until it's totally flat::

      Mimi: (Matt) I'm melting!  Melllltiiiiinnggg!

      Joe:  He'll never win the Flock of Seagulls look-alike competition now!

 NO!! That's it, you flea-bitten menace to society!

      Tai:  (singing, sorta) Get back, you flea in-fest-ed mon-grel!

::he leaps at her and they start fighting::

      Izzy:  Ev'rybody was kung-fu fight-ing...

Sora: ::grabs a big bunch of mud and drops it on both of them:: stop fighting! ::they get up and start throwing mud at Sora:: AHH!!

Director: ::gets hit in the face by a glob of muck:: ::sighs:: why do I even bother?

      All:  Wah-wah-wah-wah-waaaahh!

(Shortly after—the Digidestined are confronted by Tsunonrimon's henchmen)

Leprechaunmon: ::leaps in and kicks Garurumon in the nose::

T.K.: OHHH LOOK! It's that guy from the TV commercials! ::starts singing:: Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes, Clovers and Blue Moons! Pots of Gold and Rainbows, and the Red Balloons! ::repeats this over and over::

      Matt:  (nudging TK) Better make sure you're not stuck, squirt.

Leprechaunmon: ::breaks down into tears:: ::speaks with a sophisticated British accent:: Why must I always be associated with that cartoon! What did I do to deserve this! I'm a Shakespearean performer, for God's sakes! Why, why, why???

      Tai:  Why ask why?

Matt: ::his hair propped up but still kinda hanging down:: Now T.K., look what you did! You made Lucky the Leprechaun cry!

::Leprechaunmon cries louder::

Izzy: Will you shut up already? ::he whacks Leprechaunmon over the head with his laptop:: hey, that was fun! ::Izzy starts randomly hitting people with his laptop until security comes and gives him a sedative::

      Izzy:  Oh, not *again*.

(Next Scene—Tsunonrimon has T.K. and Kari captured)

Kari: Well, your father was pathetically weak!

      Matt:  (British) And he smelt of elderberries!

Tsunonrimon: ::brings her hand up:: ::backhands Kari across the face, but accidentally keeps on going and smashes her hand into the camera, which goes fuzzy. When it clears, all three of them are looking down at the camera:: Sorry! Um...he did it! ::points to T.K.::

T.K.: What?! ::he leaps at Tsunonrimon and they start fighting::

      Tai:  This is starting to look like, I dunno, "Fight Club".

(Next scene—Part Four. Izzy, Sora, and Joe are fighting Invisomon.)

Izzy: We can't see Invisomon. So...::he goes to his computer but it won't work properly since he was hitting people over the head with it:: Darn it! It won't work! I need to have this repaired!

      Matt:  Just be sure you delete all the porn pictures from your hard drive before the computer repairman comes across 'em and reports you.

      Sora: Been watching VH1 again, have we?

Joe: So...um...what do we do?

Sora: ::points to Mimi's gigantic makeup kit, everyone smiles::

      All:  Mary Kay party!

 ::after a few minutes, they have assembled an arsenal of cosmetics::

Izzy: Wow...I didn't even know these many cosmetics existed in the world! ::they all throw the makeup at Invisomon::

Sora: ::bursts into laughter:: I guess it works!

Joe: I dunno...with all the makeup he kinda looks like a streetwalker...

      Sora:  Or Tammy Fae Bakker.

      Tai:   Uh-huh, uh-huh, dude looks like a lady!

(Next Scene—Part Five. Tsunonrimon has just used her Rain of Blades attack to Matt.)

Jake: NO! ::everyone turns to see Jake standing with many pieces of metal running through his body. He also has a big, goofy grin on his face and one of those fake arrow-through-the-head things::

      TK:  What was *really* funny was that he was wearing it on his *butt*!  Ah ha ha ha ha!

Everyone: ::Groans::

      Joe:  My sentiments exactly.

      TK:   (sulky)  I thought it was funny.

      Matt:  (soothingly) Of course it was, TK.  It was brilliant.

Director: CUT! ::bashes his megaphone over his knee:: OWW!!

(Next Scene—Dragomon has digivolved to CrystalDragomon)

CrystalDragomon: MURDERER!...::he starts hopping around frantically:: Oooh! Oooh! Itch! Someone, please, help! It itches! It itches!!!

      Sora:  I call foul on any and all Preparation-H jokes.

      Tai:   (disappointed) Awwwwww!

(Take Two)

CrystalDragomon: MURDERER! ::He draws a sword and leaps at Tsunonrimon:: En Guarde!

Tsunonrimon: ::Disappears for a second and returns, dressed like Zorro::

      Mimi:  Oooooohh, Antonio Banderas!

 Aha! ::They start to duel::

      Matt and TK:  (begin imitating "Dueling Banjos" as best they can)

 ::She inscribes a large letter 'T' in his chest:: Take that!

Director: ::Throws up hands:: That's it! I quit! No more!

      Joe:  (applauding) Good for you!  Will you be going with the patch, or fruit-flavoured nicotine gum?

T.K.: ::still singing the 'Hearts, Stars, Horseshoes...' thing::

Everyone else: SHUT UP, T.K.!

THE END...

(Author's note: Eh...please don't kill me!)

      Izzy: (dully) No, please.  Take me instead.

 (The Blinky Light Thingie ™ flashes for the final time.)

      Mimi:  Hey, I think it's all over!

      Kari:  Really?

      Matt:  I dunno, maybe Myotismon just wants us to think that.  He might have more in store for us.

(The kids stand up and file out of the theatre, heading for the main room.)

      Joe:   Well, always hope for the best, I say.

Myotismon was waiting patiently when the children emerged from the theatre, somewhat more cautiously than they had last time. 

"Congratulations," he snarled.  "You seem to have survived your first full round of torture relatively unscathed, and while I must admit that I'm disappointed, I take comfort in the fact that this fanfic will not be your last."

DemiDevimon fluttered before the screen, sporting a large band-aid between his eyes.  "Do you have any idea how many stories people have written about you guys?!  It's insane!  Just like *you'll* be when the boss gets done with ya!  Bah ha ha ha ha!"

"Quit stepping on my lines, rodent!" Myotismon roared, backhanding his crony out of the way.  "Ahem...as I was saying, I have an infinite number of stories with which to torment you, and an infinite amount of time in which to do so."  He smirked evilly, as was his wont.  "So enjoy your sanity while you still can, Digi-Destined.  I can assure you that it shan't last long."  With another bout of obligatory maniacal laughter, Myotismon cut off the transmission, leaving the children to their own devices once again.

Tai turned to his companions, grinning confidently.  "Well, guys, you heard him.  Sounds like this story's over, and we're still alive!"

"But he also implied that he would keep sending us fanfics until we went insane," Joe pointed out pessimistically.

"So what?" Tai said, clenching his fists, looking oh-so-determined.  "We're the Digi-Destined!  As long as we stick together, we can defeat anything!  We've faced singing monkeys and killer snowmen and things with tentacles and Myotismon's talking crotch!  We can't let some stinking little fanfics get us down!"

"On the other hand, we're still trapped in Myotismon's castle and we don't really know where our digimon are," Sora told him.

Tai dropped his determined stance somewhat.  "Well, yeah, that's bad.  But we've still got our sanity!  We've still got our digivices and crests!  We've still got the digimon looking for a way out of here!"

"And most importantly, we've still got the liquor in Joe's bag!" Matt threw in.

"Darn right!" Tai continued without missing a beat.  "And with the power of teamwork and alcohol, we will prevail!"

"HUZZA!" the Digi-Destined chorused, punching their fists into the air.

And so fortified, the eight children settled in to await word from their diligently searching companions, confident that nothing short of a multi-chapter self-insertion lemon would be able to break their wills.

DISCLAIMER:  Wasn't hardly worth the wait, was it, kids?  Sorry.  ^^*  As ever, Digimon does not belong to me, for I am naught but a pathetic fangirl.  Furthermore, NO INSULT is intended to 7 of 11, the original author of "The Tsunonrimon Saga".

Just so you know, I edited chapter two of this MiSTing and removed the bit involving UMJ.  It was mean-spirited and vengeful, and that isn't proper motivation for a MiSTing.  I was then going to send UMJ a lovely fruit basket and a collection of Anne Geddes lithographs by way of apology, but I realized that I had no idea where the fellow lived, and when one is trying to make amends with another human being, it's best to avoid sending the other person fruity pictures of babies dressed up like ladybugs and cabbages, anyway.

Consider this MiSTing finished, boys and girls!  Yay!  A winner is me! 

stinger

::starts playing 'MMM Bop' by Hanson::

/stinger