What do the Seiryuu seishi do at night? I wrote this a sort of an experiment with different points of view, trying to write as if I were inside each of the character's heads. I'm not sure how well it turned out, or if the reader can tell that was my purpose...In this story I'm assuming that Nakago had already gathered all the Seiryuu seishi before Yui arrives, and they're all living in the Kutou palace.
Suboshi's real name is Bu Shunkaku. Amiboshi's real name is Bu Koutoku. Tomo's real name is Ryou Chuin.
Fushigi Yuugi and all characters are property of Watase Yuu.

The Four Gods Sky and Earth: Fushigi Yuugi fanfiction

I lay by the fire, watching its lazy flames coil upwards in the stillness, into the brilliant night sky with its millions of stars. Stars. Our constellations among them. I let my eyes wander to the Seiryuu side, searching for ours, mine and Kou's.
Nakago-sama has told us time and time again, don't light fires in the garden. We could get in big trouble for burning down the palace, I guess, but I don't see why he's so worried. I'm a responsible person. Aniki told me so, just the other day. It doesn't matter what Soi told me that same morning after I accidentally lost the jar of ointment I'd borrowed from her and then smashed her mirror on the floor. It only matters what Kou thinks, and he'll tell me exactly what he thinks about me. He always does.
Aniki, do you think I'm responsible? I mean, really.
Sure, Shun. Why?
N-nothing.
I hum softly to myself, arm raised, tracing the pattern of my own seishi symbol burning in the sky. Suboshi, the angle. Beside me, the melody of flute stops and I hear him grunt in the darkness, blowing through the reed instrument, trying different fingers, as he does when he's stuck on part of a song. I wait patiently for it to begin again. It always does.
Always.
"Aniki?"
"What." His voice is far away, a little annoyed. I'm bothering him.
"Nevermind."
I can see him raise his head from where he sits on a bench not far from the grassy square where I'm lying. From this direction, the trees seem to grow out of his head. I try not to laugh at the thought, but I can't help it. The laugh comes out more like a breathless squeak.
My brother stops his incessant fingers and peers at me. "Shun? Are you ok? Are you sick?"
I snort. "No. I'm ok. I was-" I stop in the middle of telling him I was laughing at him, but he knows me too well. He grunts, the simple sound telling me he knows all and doesn't appreciate it, then goes back to his composing, his legs crossed, his expression serene. I don't know how he keeps so calm. I know I couldn't. I never could. Tomo told me the other day that I was like a nervous itch.
"Aniki?"
"What." The voice is abstract, again a little annoyed.
"Do-do you think I'm a nervous itch?"
"Nani?" I can see him look at me incredulously. "Shun, did you eat something wrong tonight at dinner?"
I chuckle quietly to Suboshi, who's twinkling in the sky. To tell the truth, he does twinkle a bit nervously "N-nothing. Nevermind."
He groans, then gives a soft exclamation. Putting his flute to his lips, he again begins to play.
I relax as his chi surrounds me, as the melody begins again. It reminds me of something...something sad. I can't really remember, so I guess it can't be important anyway. Amiboshi and Suboshi shine brightly in the dark purple sky, right next to each other. I yawn. I'll probably drop off to sleep on this grassy knoll with Kou's music in my ears, knowing that he'll be here, right beside me, when I wake up. He always is.
And since Amiboshi and Suboshi will always be there, right beside each other, forever and ever, that's the way it always will be.

I storm into my room, throwing off the hot opera cloak, rigid with anger. Beneath the thick paint I can feel my face on fire. I'm sure it's beet red and glad the makeup is covering it. Glad I was able to maintain my composure for so long in front of her.
I slam the door, careless of how loud the noise in the hallway. Soi can fall over and die for all I care. What right had she to say that to me? What right? It's bad enough that Nakago takes that whore every night into his bed, as I'm sure he's doing tonight, but the nerve of her to tell me what she told me tonight! To my face! When I was on the verge of trying to at least get along with her. I thought there might be a chance still. It seemed worth a try, to try to get along with one's allies before Seiryuu no Miko shows up one day in the near future. If she ever shows up at all.
You'll never amount to anything, Tomo...you're such a damned poor excuse for a seishi...a painted freak...
Her words ring harshly in my ears and I walk weakly to my chair, sitting down in it and staring out the window. The palms of my hands sting and I realize I've been digging my long fingernails into my skin. I force myself to relax. Calm. You're preparing to go on stage...take your role, Chuin, get in character...
I snort and get up from the chair. Even now I have no idea why her words sting me so much. After all, I've proved them all wrong, haven't I? Time and time again. From Chuin the backstage boy to Chuin the jing performer, from Chuin the outcast to Tomo the Seiryuu seishi. Hasn't my performance been good enough? The acting flawless, the makeup perfect, the voice control and inflection true to the script?
I move to my dressing table, staring at my painted face in the mirror for a second before reaching halfheartedly to the removal creams which lie a little bit to my right. I don't want to-don't want to take it off. With it on, I am fierce, immovable, powerful, dangerous. I am someone. Without it...I'm nothing again.
Such a damned poor excuse for a seishi.
Soi's words ring in my ears and I rub the cream on my face, closing my eyes fiercely. My face stings like the inside of my eyelids do with unshed tears. No. I can't cry. I haven't cried since Nakago found me, and I am not going to break down now.
Without my mask, I am nothing.
With a soft cloth I rub the last of the paint off my face and stare at myself in the mirror through blurry vision. Chalk pale skin, amber eyes. I look like a ghost.
Maybe if I looked less like an idiot, Soi wouldn't hate me.
I blink at my own thought, trying not to cry again. I'd thought, after coming here, that I could like the other seishi, have some people to talk to, maybe have...
The word creeps into my subconciousness. Friends. I grimace. Friends. I sound like a pathetic child. I hate that. It makes me feel...
I can see that will never happen, now. The twins are their own little family, clan, and universe all wrapped up into one, and I am sure Miboshi and Ashitare have no concept of the word. Soi is too wrapped up in Nakago to care, and Nakago...
Once they found out I was gay they really wanted nothing to do with me anyway.
I pad softly to the window, still in my full opera dress but without the clinging makeup on my face, looking up at the night sky. Tomo, the root, hangs brightly, proud and aloof. My seishi symbol. My constellation. One of the few things I've ever had to call my own.
You'll never amount to anything...painted freak.
Damn the whore. I didn't need to listen to her pathetic whining. I strip down to my skin, leaving the clothes lying about on the floor, and pull on a pair of loose pants so much more comfortable than my costume. Sometimes I wish I didn't need to wear it. That I could go out like this, without the heavy cloth pulling at my back and the makeup caking on my face and feel...normal. Accepted, like the rest of them.
But that will never happen. And since I'll never be accepted, what's the hurt in being called a painted freak, anyway, right? If I'm going to stand out, I might as well do it in excess.
I sigh, turning away from the window. I should stop reasoning to myself...it doesn't help.
Chuin, you're a damned failure, and you know it.
I can feel the burning behind my eyelids again. Blowing out the candles, I climb into bed and lay there with my eyes open, staring out at the night sky. Somewhere I can hear Amiboshi playing his flute again, and I can hear the calming chi in the music. But for once, it doesn't lull me to sleep. I can still see Tomo through the window.
Is it worth it? Is it worth it after all?
Tomo...tell me why.

Food. I smell the scent of meat. It is good. Blood.
I have not had blood in a long time. It seems like a long time. Isn't it?
The master came in today, to check on me. The master's scent smells nice. Like fear. I like the smell of fear. It makes me feel nice. The master's yellow hair is shiny in the dark.
He spoke to me. He called me by a name I can't pronounce. I tried. I can't seem to make my tongue roll around in my mouth. I should try harder, for the master. I could move my tongue better, once, before the cage. The cage was dark. The bars were hard. I tried to bite them off once with my teeth, but one of my teeth broke and it hurt. It hurt so much. Then they tied me up and my back hurt when they used that long thing that swayed in the wind when they moved it up and down. And it hurt. And I smelled blood.
It is dark now. Like the cage, but different. In here I can smell the outside. I miss the outside. I have not been there in a long time. I used to run in the grass when I was small. I can still remember. There was wind and the nice smell of grass. But that was before. Before the cage. Before the master found me.
I move over to the smell of food and blood. Meat. The meat is good. It is fresh. I can smell the fear on it still. It is good, the smell of fear. It makes me twitch all over and my fur stand up.
Now the meat is gone. Where did it go? I look around for more because the smell is still there, but it is gone. The wind comes again.
There is a window in here. I can see the outside from here. Sometime it is blue with a light the color of the master's hair and sometimes it is black. And then sometimes it is gray. Which means it is going to rain. My mother told me that when I was small. About rain where the water comes from the sky and when there is blood on the meat it runs in red down the grass and then you have to chase it to get it back.
Now it is black, like meat when it has been out in the yellow light too long and is making funny smells with the white bugs crawling all over it. The white bugs have to be chased away before you can eat it. I learned that in the cage. The meat was black a lot of the time. But one day I got the man who gave me the black meat and then they did not give me anything for a while. I did not mind. The man tasted good too. It was too bad he did not last too long before he turned black, too. They tried to get him out of the cage but I did not let them. He was good, the man.
I feel funny. Something moves inside me and then there is a sound like water. The floor is wet now. So is my fur between my hind legs. I sniff and move away from the spot where the funny smelling water is.
There are little lights in the sky. Are those houses? My mother told me people live in houses with little lights in the windows which turn off when they go to sleep. But the lights in the black outside never turn off. Do those people not need to go to sleep? I never asked her. I forgot.
I hear something from the window. It's there every time the sky turns black and the people turn on the lights in their houses. It sounds like the birds I used to try to catch, before they tied me up. The birds would make noises like that. Except this noise is much nicer. It makes me sleepy.
The spot near my tail itches and I scratch it. It feels nice. Like when the master found me and took me out of the cage and away from all those people who used to throw things at me during the day. That was not nice of them. I used to try to get them too, like I had got the man who gave me the meat. But they were too far away. And I could not move that far when I was in the cage. But the master came and got me out and then I could move again. That felt nice. Like when I scratch.
I wonder if there is any more meat. The smell is still there. I am still hungry. Maybe another man will come in and then I can not be hungry anymore.
Blood. I like blood. I like the smell of blood. It smells good.

Amiboshi's flute echoes in my ears as I float along the corridors of Kutou palace. The boy has a lot of nerve, playing that wretched thing at all hours of the day. Doesn't he know that people sleep at night? Well, I don't. But most normal people do. That bratted twin of his Suboshi does. Tomo the painted freak does. Soi and Nakago...
I chuckle to myself. They sleep. Oh, yes they do.
The prayer wheel trails me silently as I slip unnoticed into the library and float to the table where I had been researching some ancient lore the night before. Night is the best time for research. Suboshi isn't wandering around being nosy, there are no servants trotting aimlessly about, Soi isn't mumbling to herself down the hall, and Tomo's annoying cackle is silent for once. I told him he was annoying, once, and he flared up at me for no apparent reason, looking hurt even through all those layers of makeup he cakes on his face.
Painted freak.
I unroll the scroll to where I had stopped this morning when it became light, my hands working lightly as not to crack the precious parchment. My hands. An amusing thought. Not really my hands, after all. I can still feel the feeble mind of the child sometimes, rising up to try to meet me in a battle of wills. But it is useless. As I grow stronger, he grows weaker. Sooner or later, it will be all over and I will have won.
Which really only means I'll have to find another body as this one dies. As they all have over the years. That worries me, for there aren't many children in Kutou palace. None at all, in fact. I don't believe the current emperor of Kutou has a heir, as he has peculiar taste in lovers. And there is a strange shortage in Kutou of intelligent children. I've looked.
Ah, well. Worries for another day. The night is time for knowledge and secrets.
The characters leap off the page at me as I read, and I store them in my memory. My memory, not the child's memory. The lamp in my hand casts a reasonable glow onto the ancient text and I skim the words eagerly, devouring the knowledge of ancient days.
"Miboshi."
I jump, as much as one can jump while floating in the air. The rays highlight blond hair, a pair of blue eyes. How the hell did he come up behind me without me knowing? The scroll hadn't been that absorbing, had it?
"Nakago-sama!"
"Have you seen Soi?"
I frown, startled not at his lack of greeting, but at the nature of the question. Nakago never wasted time in niceties. "Soi? No. Isn't she with you?" Too late I realize my slip. "I-I mean-"
He shakes his head, apparently unperturbed at my slight. "No. She's late. And she's not in her room."
I bite my lip. How the hell should I know where the lightning bitch is? Late, is she? Perhaps she got some sense knocked into her and decided not to spend all night in Nakago's bed for once.
Wishful thoughts.
"Iie, Nakago-sama. I have not seen her, but I will tell her you are looking for her if I do."
He does not answer, simply nods and fades away into the darkness of the library. I turn back to my scroll, but my brain is not in the reading. Soi. And how did Nakago know I was in the library?
Perhaps that was one of those questions that is best left unanswered.
The constellations of Seiryuu glimmer brightly out the window and the basket of Miboshi tickles the corner of my eye from where I can see it without raising my head from the scroll. Funny, that a collection of people like us should be brought together like this. For a myth. A vision.
I'm a priest, a magician, a shapechanger. I'd like to think that I know what is going on, but I don't. I don't even think Nakago, under that poker face of his, knows exactly what is going on. All we can do is wait. For Seiryuu no Miko. When she comes. If she comes.
And if she doesn't come...well...there's always the world to take over. Someday.

I trail down the hallway silently, candle in hand, feeling rather foolish. I look disheveled already, and I haven't even been to see Nakago.
The thought makes me blush. I blink and erase it from my mind, trying also to banish thoughts of that perfect face, the golden hair and the deep blue eyes that haunt my dreams even when I am not with him. I'm stupid, I know, to think that he'll ever reciprocate what I feel. But I can hope, can't I? A girl can dream. Whatever Tomo says.
The dumb argument was all his fault. If he hadn't barged in as if the whole Konan army was after him, it might have been all right. It would have been mortifying if I had been changing, but luckily I'd already done that and was letting down my hair. I don't even remember what he said that made me so mad, but I'd let my tongue slip. Said some things that I didn't mean. I'd regretted the words as soon as they came out of my mouth, but it was too late. The horror on his face said it all as he'd fled my room as quickly as he came, holding his shoulders back painfully straight with anger and shame. I know how it feels to be ashamed and not being able to show it. It hurts.
I cross the long royal corridor, used only for private imperial functions and enter a different wing of the palace. Nakago is probably waiting for me, wondering why I'm late. But I can't let this pass by. Sure, Tomo isn't my favorite person in the world, but I didn't mean what I said. And I need to tell him that.
I spot his room. I know it's his, even with the door closed. I don't know why...I've only been here once or twice. I've always had a good memory. I knock.
No answer.
I expected that. I knock again, and a voice grunts irritably. "What is it? It's the middle of the night."
"Tomo?"
Silence. I swallow.
"What, you whore?"
The anger and hurt in his voice is audible even through the thick wood. He wants me to leave. I expected that too. I put my mouth up to the door. "Tomo, let me in. Please."
Silence again. I stand, waiting. After a while I hear a resigned creak and footsteps. A bolt is pulled back. The door swings open.
"What do you want, Soi?"
For a few seconds, all I do is stand and blink. The man in front of me is not Tomo. He's young and his face is almost beautiful in the ghostly light of the moon and the golden glow of my candle. Long black hair loose over his shoulders. Amber eyes narrowed above high cheekbones. Full lips pulled down in almost a snarl. He is naked from the waist up. I search my brain for another word to describe him, and fail. Beautiful.
"T-Tomo?"
He glares at me, then suddenly takes a startled step back, putting a hand to his face. Then he whirls, turning his back to me, his glossy hair swirling as he moves.
"Don't-don't...what?" His voice is panicked. The voice confirms it. Definitely Tomo...without his opera makeup. I had forgotten that he has to take it off to sleep at night.
I swallow. "Can I come in?"
I see his shoulders go up and down in a silent sigh, almost resigned, hopeless. "Do whatever the hell you like."
I step inside, leaving the door open behind me, and set the candle on his dressing table. The flame flickers over boxes of cosmetics and brushes. So many. No wonder it took him such a long time to get ready in the morning. It strikes me that although I've known him for almost three months, I still don't know him at all.
"The moon is bright tonight," I say lightly. He doesn't answer from where he is hunched in the shadows, as far away from me as possible. I can still see his long hair glimmer in the silver light. The window is open and the constellations twinkle in the sky. The bed is rumpled, the covers pulled back. I must have woken him up.
I sigh. He's not making it any easier for me. "Look, Tomo...I'm sorry."
I see him freeze.
"I...I really didn't mean it. Anything I said." I hadn't apologized to anyone in a while. The words come hard, but I have to say them. Especially since I'm already here.
"You're right, you know." A whisper in the dark.
"What?"
"What you said, About me. I'm nothing...a damned poor seishi..."
"No!" My voice is louder than I intended it to be. "Tomo, I didn't mean any of it."
"Painted freak..." His voice catches on the last word. To my horror, I realize he is crying.
Gods, what can I do?
"Tomo? I-" I stand there, helplessly. I don't know what to do. What do I do? I'm a woman...I should know these things, right? "Gomen, I'll go away..."
He doesn't answer me, just stands there, shaking silently, a small hunched figure in the moonlight. I've never noticed how small he was. Somehow, in the costume, with the paint, he seems larger than life.
I doubt he's heard my question. I just stand there in the doorway, feeling like a fool, wishing I had held my tongue in the beginning and then none of this would have happened. I pick up my candle uncertainly, ready to slip out the door unnoticed so he won't have to stand the added shame of someone seeing him like this.
"Soi..."
I frown. Had he said my name? "Tomo?"
When I turn back around he has come to face me, his face wet with tears. I can't really see his features anymore, but he is still beautiful. In the darkness, even more so. Unearthly, like one of the nature gods I had heard stories of as a child.
"You're not, you know," I said.
"Not what?"
"A bad seishi. You..." I trail off, uncertain of what to say. He stares at me.
As you should. Soi being nice to Tomo doesn't happen often...
The thought makes me smile. Almost. "You should do this more often."
He is startled. "Do what?" I point to his face, his bare chest. He looks mortified and puts both hands to his face, but doesn't turn away.
I'm not going to tell him he is beautiful. I'm not that sorry for what I said. Instead, I point out the open window, where the constellations of Seiryuu dwell in the night sky. I find them. Tomoboshi, the root. Soiboshi, the tassel. "I just thought since our seishi constellations are next to each other...I should attempt to make up for what I said."
To my surprise, he smiles slightly, and it's not even the cynical Tomo smile that is inevitably followed by that grating cackle. It's a simple smile, something I'd never have expected to see on his face. And something that I'm most likely never going to see again. But somehow, it's worth it, just for this moment. For his smile in the dark. And maybe...maybe it can still all work out.
"Point taken," he says.

She's late. She's never been late before. And even my patience has an end.
I pace around the room, my boots clacking hard on the polished floor. Miboshi hadn't seen her. The twins in the garden-baka boys, lighting a fire where I had explicitly told them not to-hadn't seen her. And Tomo obviously hadn't seen her, since he never goes near her in the first place. He makes no secret that he's jealous of her. Over me.
I laugh softly. Jealous...the poor man should know my interests don't run that way. They don't even run in Soi's direction...I am just using her, like I will use all of them, in the end.
Of course I am.
Pacing back to the bed, then back to the door. Pacing. I pace a lot nowadays, thinking. I've found all the Seiryuu seishi, but is it wrong to suspect that something is going to happen soon? My instincts are almost never wrong...but false hope never did anyone good.
Seiryuu no Miko...is it your time?
And where in the world is Soi?
Worried...no. Not worried about her, certainly. Concerned for myself, my chi levels are always weakest at the end of the day, and if she didn't come quickly, she would have a talking-to in the morning.
Moving to the window, I glance up at the Seiryuu stars, moving in their erratic patterns across the sky. Nakago, mine. Heart's lodging. And next to it, her smaller stars. Next to mine.
Damn, she was late. If she didn't show up in the next few minutes...
A knock on the door. I frown, then move to open it. Her apologetic face is on the other side, soft brown hair let down around her shoulders.
"You're late," I say. I suppress the relief that I inexplicably feel, seeing her there. My voice is hard.
"Gomen...Nakago-sama." Hers is soft. I wait for an explanation of where she was, but she doesn't say anything more.
"Well? Where were you?"
She looks up at me, brown eyes betraying no secrets, then reddens slightly. "I...I was talking to Tomo."
That is enough to almost make me lose my composure. Almost. "Tomo?"
"Hai."
I frown, then decide it is not worth the time. Tomo is gay, after all. I have nothing to worry about.
"Nakago-sama, are you upset?"
I pull her inside the room and shut the door, taking her face in my hands. "Upset?"
She moves against me. I bring my lips down to hers.
"Not at all."

The night sky is perfectly dark and still now, and it's beginning to get a little chilly out here. The fire has long burned out, with some help from Nakago-sama's boot after he discovered us here in the courtyard a while ago when he came by looking for Soi. I took the blame for lighting the fire, of course. I wouldn't have thought of doing otherwise.
I can see Shun curled up in a ball asleep on the grass where he has been watching the stars. I like watching him sleep. It's peaceful...a sense of completion, like I've done something right in my life where everywhere else I've made mistake after mistake.
Moving to him, I place the flute back in the little pouch I made for it to hang at my waist when I'm not playing. I pick him up, grunting. He's gotten heavier. I'll have to tell him to watch what he eats. He'll listen to me, of course, as always.
I carry him back to our room. He snores slightly, trying to shift position and crawl out of my arms to some dream world. I tighten my arms around him and deposit him in a heap on the big bed we share. He mumbles and slips off again.
Aniki, do you think I'm a nervous itch?
What in the world was he talking about?
Sometimes I can't even understand him. His mind works in strange ways. I look down at his sleeping form, wondering if I'm even doing this right. If I shouldn't let go a little, let him have his independence. If, someday, I'm gone, what will he be like without me here? If I'm gone...
I feel chills down my back and turn away, placing my flute on the desk next to the bed. Can't think of that now. I can't leave him now, not when he's not ready. He's the same age as me but he's so young yet. I won't lose him like I lost Kaasan and Tousan...like I lost everyone so long ago. He's the only one I have left. He needs me, and I won't leave him.
I strip down to my pants and blow out the candle. The room is plunged into instant darkness. I slip into bed next to Shun. Our room is just a few doors down from Tomo's and I briefly wonder what the other seishi is doing. Shun once walked in on him changing. Not a pretty sight. Shun seems to do that often, though, barging in on people without warning. Miboshi's complained to me before, but I told him there was nothing I could do about it. I can only hope he won't barge in on Ashitare. Or...gods help us, Soi and Nakago. Their relationship isn't exactly the best kept secret in the palace, but Shun is probably too innocent to think about that beforehand.
He's...innocent. That's it.
I look down on his sleeping face in the moonlight, the mirror image of mine. Amiboshi and Suboshi. I can see the constellations from the window. I wonder if any of the seishi look up at their stars now and then, and wonder what strange fate brought them all here. Or maybe I'm being too philosophical. Shun tells me that sometimes, when he sees me sitting in the garden staring out into space. But Shun...he'll never be philosophical. He's too active, too jumpy, so full of life.
Nakago-sama has said that we will bring peace to Kutou. I hope so. Peace means a future, a future for Shun and me, without worry, without fear.
I settle lightly against the pillow, hearing Shun's light breathing in my ear.
I will protect him. My life blood. As a Seiryuu shichi seishi, I swear my life upon it.
The stars of Seiryuu dance in the sky as I close my eyes. In my mind I can still see them dancing, with a promise, a future. For both of us.
Forever and ever.

NOTES on Night: 13 March 2000

All the Seriyuu seishi in one place! I don't think anyone has ever done this before, and likely no one else is crazy enough to do it, but I really really had an urge to write a fic with all the Seiryuu seishi in it. The basis for this one was that the Suzaku seishi are always shown with such a strong camaraderie between them, but what about Seiryuu? Granted, they're not friends or anything, but they did know each other and interact with each other on a daily basis. Why shouldn't there be a story with all of them on a normal night, doing whatever they do, interacting?

ANYWAY, this fic basically wrote itself. I was surprised. I think this one is my best attempt of writing "inside a character's head." I thought Miboshi and Ashitare would be hard, since no one ever writes about them, but surprisingly they were not very difficult. Nakago was hard, as was Tomo. I don't know why Tomo was so difficult to write, since I've done other Tomo fics before. Nakago is always hard for me.

My favorite parts are Ashitare and Suboshi. The Ashitare part scares me even now, but it also offers a rather tragic look at one of the most hated characters in the series. I tried to stress his animal instincts and his helplessness, from the cage into Nakago's grip. Suboshi is always fun to write. ^_^

Will accept Tomo's makeup at [email protected].