Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, though I wish I did

Warnings: Suicide-attempts but no character-deaths, there will be lemons in later chatpers, and if you can't take kink, I suggest you either stop reading or skip the chapters.

SAKURA-FANS SCRAM! SAKURA-HATERS Welcome! and of course, YAOI-LOVERS COME! ;; oh, no, not in that way

Pairings: Sasu/Naru/Sasu, Neji/Naru/Neji, Sasu/Neji/Sasu, Neji/Gaa/Neji, Gaa/Naru/Gaa, Sasu/Gaa/Sasu Pretty much every1 fuks every1

Notes: Naruto's not gonna die, so if you're like some of my reviewers in fanfiction, I hope you leave without a flame. And keep in mind, this is slightly AU, so there IS a Konoha habor for transporting goods and such. The time-setting is 3-4 years later and Sasuke has been retrieved after two years and have lost the seal so he's good again so he's a bit OOC. And if you don't understand, this chapter is all from Naruto's point of view, therefore all coments or statements are in his imaginaiton when really nothing is happening on the outside.

TO FLAMERS WHO DO NOT USE THEIR BRAINS TO THINK-AND I'M SERIOUS

Look, some of you have flamed with very long and some not very smart reviews. So I'll explain.

For reviewer Kitti

NO Tsunade does NOT hate Naruto. NO ONE hates Naruto. He's just thinks they do because he is in a low point of his life-

and I don't care if you think Naruto will never be depressed, he IS a person and every person has their ups and downs.

And Naruto does not have TB. He has another RARE disease. And If you HAD continued reading the fic, you'll see that it is an UNKNOWN disease, therefore NOT tuberculosis.

And for your information, I don't have the manga version nor have I ever read it. It is the same as the anime version except for certain fillers. I am not a manga junkie and the only mangas I DO go crazy for is YAOI. Hardcore yaoi.

Hokage, if you know your grammar, is a title, but when I mention Hokage as THE tittle, it is a NOUN.

Naruto DOES not live in a one-room apartment, no one's ever SEEN it, they've only seen his "dining" area and his "sleeping" area which is seriously a bed in the corner of the room, so unless you have significant proof that he does live in a one-room apartment (like a authentic picture of the room with bed, table, kitchen and bathroom).

As for the DARKENING of the room, it is still all in his imagination-this is a visional piece so if you do NOT have a imaginative brain, please go to kindergarden and get one.

And as for Hinata going after Sasuke, there is no such thing. And if you actually watch the characters you can see that Hinata wants to change therefor after like six years or more since the Chuunin Exam, don't you think she would have changed and matured? Same for the other characters. Please read ahead if you do not understand what's going on.

And any other pairings such as Kakashi/Iruka are not of importance, nor is the fic centered on them. So get that imaginative brain and IMAGINE their romance yourself. Kaka/Iru is NOT a major pairing.

And have you EVER heard of romance? plot? conflict? This is NOT a one-shot, there is a REASON why people write books with a lot of pages or fanfictions with a lot of chapters. It's called a STORY, not a short story.

I'm usually calm, but you piss me off with your ignorance, is this your first fanfiction, Kitti? Is this your first story?

I was going to take this flame nicely at first, but your sarcasm is based on false facts and your criticism of my whole chapter shows that you do not understand my work. Therefore I apologize to you, you have wasted your time in reading what many others DO understand. And I am NOT a child so do not place false accusations on me.

ADDITIONAL WARNINGS: this is NOT a oneshot, NOT a pwp, NOT a screw-and-end-it-fic, so if you're looking for smut only, look elsewhere.

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The light of the morning broke through the thick curtains. The world started to wake, a happy atmosphere settling in. But for one Uzumaki Naruto, that happiness didn't include him. Slowly, he dragged his tired form out of bed. His room brightened up and the sun cast a shadow on his apartment floor. Naruto coughed, light specks of blood splattered his hand. His distant, dull, blue eyes stared at the tainted hands. Silence spreading throughout the apartment. Naruto was use to it, the quietness and the loneliness of being the kyuubi holder. He was familiar with the pain of not being loved, of having no one to care.

" Do you have anyone precious to you?"

In fact, he didn't. He didn't have anyone. And Haku was wrong. Being needed and wanted were two different things, one he could live without. Unfortunately, that one he could live without, wasn't the one he lacked. That's why he was dying. Slowly and slowly the harsh bits of reality scraped away at his soul. The happy spirit that usually took over at a depressing moment, the confidence of a new day did not come anymore. It was all broken when he realized on his birthday, that he had no one. Not Iruka. Not Sakura. Not even his rival, Sasuke. None of them belong to him. He couldn't call them friends or even comrades. Iruka had his own life as a jounin. And Sakura's hidden intentions were clear if your look closely. Sasuke of course hated him and only pitied him. The poor fool of a blond who thought he would ever be hokage. He was no one-he had no one. All alone in the world, and he did not give a damn. Not when he was 3, old enough to understand thoughts and speech. Not when he was 12, when he met his teammates. And certainly not now, three years after when he's about to die.

It didn't even matter what he did. How he fought during missions. Because he was going to die anyway. Naruto stood up from his bed, the blankets slipping from his form like water. The cold chill blowing from his open window didn't make it through to Naruto, He was too far gone, his mind a mile away. His heart gone for so long. What was a heart good for anyway? To love and to live. And he had will to do neither. He walked slowly to the door. His lanky figure moving in the empty room. He stopped, his hand on the knob. He turned slightly to where he had a good view of his bed. The sunlight twinkled and danced on his rumpled covers. The birds played around outside, oblivious to the hurting man inside. And for a moment, the quietness seemed peaceful. All the dark thoughts left for that small moment as he gazed at his bed and marveled at the stillness of it. Then death snuck in. The room darkened in his eyes. The bed sheets became dirtied, the nicely formed bed growing smaller and scratched, old age eating at the wood. The walls around started molding and cracks ran down the wall from the ceiling down.

Naruto watched with forlorn eyes as the room died. Closing his eyes he turned away and opened the door, the click registering in his mind. He never looked back as a tear ran down his cheek. He strolled to the bathroom, ignoring the cracks that escaped his room and marked his livingroom. Death spread like a plague through the whole house. He ignored the rusting of the metal frame of his mirror, the cobwebs rapidly forming in every corner. He ignored the stillness of the hanging towels and the look of things untouched for years. He laid down his toothbrush and cup, watching as they, too, died. The cup cracked and dirty and dust collected around it. Then his brush dusting with unknown brown stuff on the handle. With a lingering sad look, he left his bathroom, dressed in yesterday's clothes. And he left his quiet apartment. If walls could talk, they would see and feel; they would see the dark man leave and hear the quiet sobs of his soul. They would see the things that happen hidden from the public. Most of all, they would see the arriving death engulfing them. But alas, the walls will forever keep their secrets.

The pale boy walked down the streets, listening to the insults directed at him and of the curses of promising death like the morning jay's song. And yet Death still trudged after him. And Naruto could do nothing to stop it, he didn't want to.

Down to the hangout of his "friends", he agonizingly made his way. Laughter and playful banter reached his ear. Hidden behind a wall, he watched all his peers. Ino laughed and teased Sakura. She returned the favor. Shikamaru laughed at their silliness and Chouji munched on his chips and offered them to all. Sasuke, meanwhile, scolded. Obviously, the comment involved him. Then Kiba and Hinata told Sasuke to loosen up. Sasuke scolded again and muttered something. They all heard and laughed. Their two senseis joined. Kakashi with his arms around Iruka, chatting merrily. Sakura teased Iruka who blushed madly and babbled something. Everyone laughed. Iruka joined in.

All this, Naruto watched from afar. He saw how happy they were all together. How much fun they were having without him. He knew that if he took another step more, they would all stop and start to pick on him. Sakura would yell at him for being lazier then Shikamaru. Sasuke would call him a dobe and insult him. Kakashi would make an offending comment. Ino would just glare at him and silently think he was a monster. He knew all of them would be thinking that when they see him. He knew Iruka still thought the same about him. The monster who stole his parents to hand to Death on a silver plate.

Giving them a last glance and imprinting the image of his supposed friends and family into his mind. He left like he did to his apartment.

If you're going to leave, don't look back.

When had he heard that? Did it matter? As he walked down an alleyway he'd never been before, an old lady leaned out her window, a bucket in hand. Naruto felt the chill up his spine as soon as the cold, dirty water hit his head hard. The old lady started to apologize, then saw who it was and hmphed. He distantly heard her say 'You deserved it you dirty fox.' He shrugged it off, pushing aside the uncomfortable feeling of being wet to the bones. It'd happen sooner or later, anyway. He passed by an old beggar, near the exit of the pathway. He reached into his pants and drew out all the money he had. A picture of his friends caught his eyes. His face fell more and his heart sank lower. He quickly shut his wallet and threw it to the beggar, who caught it gratefully. Naruto nodded at him and went on his way. His eyes trained to the floor, ashamed of meeting anyone else's eyes. He felt so low. He couldn't even help a beggar with so little money. He didn't take in mind that the beggar could use what he was given to buy at least an apple. He didn't think.

Finally, he reached the end of the narrow alley. The sea air drifted pass him. He inhaled the thick scent of the salty waters. The seashore was empty. There was no one around. Satisfied, Naruto walked out. Meanwhile, the beggar opened the wallet and saw what the blond had, a picture of two people. A guy and a girl around the same age. He could only guess that something happened between them. He assumed the boy was in deep depression. The old beggar watched, with sympathizing eyes. So young for his age, the beggar thought. His dark gray eyes followed the teen who leaned on the railings, the only barrier to the sea.

Naruto stared out at the water. Often, when he didn't feel good, he would sneak away to here. Their village was pretty much surrounded by trees. But a little part of it lied by the sea. The clouds near this harbor were more full and whiter. They also moved faster, reforming before his eyes. The air was lighter and the silence was less stressing and hurtful. Today was no exception. He was alone out here near the large endless sea. His mind flashed back to his earlier years.

When he ran around playing pranks...

When he met Iruka. ..

When he failed his graduation exam...

What that bastard had told him about that rule segregating him...

When he met Sakura and Sasuke...

When he kissed Sasuke by accident..

How their relationship continued until it almost seemed like friendship-enough to fool him for a few years..

The missions they went one...the emotional struggles they each went through...

Haku and Zabusa..their love, their death...and Haku's words...

..precious someone...

Back to when he met others like Gaara, Kankuro and Temari...Kabuto and all his opponents...

He even reminisced Orochimaru.

Itachi and Kisame's attempted abductions of him...

When Sasuke had left and he went to get him back...

He remembered so much, so much he had to forget to move on. So much good memories despite the

bad situations. And all this didn't matter, because they all hated him. He was annoying, obnoxious, sneaky, stupid, ugly, clumsy and weak. He was a killer of many, and he was related to the death of their precious hero Yondaime. Konoha didn't welcome him, but kept him so he didn't hurt anyone else. They continuously showed him his status in society day by day. Even in his dreams he couldn't escape their gazes of hatred. But that didn't matter anymore. Nothing did.

The beggar's eyes widened at the falling body. There was a loud splash. He ran over the railing in time to see the body sink to the bottom of the sea. He called for help, but no one came. So he stood there, watching the death of the one and only, Uzumaki Naruto.

The End.

REMEMBER! No character-deaths so chilllll, relax and watch the show. But review to let me know what you think and if you have any suggestions. Excuse the grammar or spelling mistakes if you find any, but if they bother you that much I'll fix them.

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