Kiss! LUKE!
By GilmoreGirl1979 (the Reigning Quote Queen)
Part of the ORIGINAL WOULDA SHOULDA COULDA SERIES
(ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES!)

The Q: What if Nicole didn't show up to go skiing with Luke in Keg! Max?

Hi! this is your Friendly Disclaimer: I own nothing, but the voices in my head claim I own a universe in which all things are possible, Legal is checking it out….Dialogue borrowed from eppy 3.19 - Keg! Max! (written by Daniel Palladino; directed by Chris Long ) some dialogue and intentions maybe have been changed by me gilmoregirl1979!

Luvz: as always, you are an amazing woman!(no lesbian tendency implied... not that' there's anything wrong with that!)

A/N: It was: Keg! Max!
Is now: Kiss! LUKE!

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Chapter 1:(first of many!)
Turndown

Lorelai walked that halls of the Independence Inn knocking on guest's doors, preforming turndown for the sparse occupants. It shouldn't take too long; half the rooms were lost in the fire.

Yes, this is what I get to do with my Friday night. Turndown and a Chilton Booster Club meeting, Joy! Though it was preferable to a Friday Night dinner with Emily and Richard. Lorelai just couldn't understand why not only was she on the outs with her parents, again; but Cupid as well. Miss Patty was right, I'm no good at finding men. I mean, I'm one hot momma, right? My kid is now of legal age, and will be out of the house soon. I should be able to get a date if I wanted. I should date again, … once I get that kiss with Max figured out,…. I should definitely date again. Putting the thoughts of her romantic dry spell aside, Lorelai knocked on door number 7. Lucky number 7, hee hee.

"Yeah?" was called from inside.

Ahhhh a man? hmmmmm maybe it is lucky for me? Business traveler? Stressed out executive? Maybe I can flirt a bit and get some sexual self esteem back. No harm in flirting, as long as he's alone … and not married, of course. "Turndown," she happily replied.

"Come on in."

Now with permission, Lorelai walked into the room. Service with a smile Lorelai offered in a sugary cheerful tone, "Hello there. This won't take long." She then stopped in her tracks, finally seeing who was in the room for her to flirt with. Well, at least I know he's not married.

"Luke." Without a baseball hat on,… in a nice … fitting sweater, Wow, you can't see his muscles under all that flannel. And now he is … just laying on the bed, with no shoes on. I don't think I've ever seen Luke without his shoes on. Okay, why am I thinking about his feet? What is wrong with me?

"Lorelai," Luke stated the obvious, As if she doesn't know who she is, stupid! He was just as surprised to see her of all people in his room. If Luke had been a cartoon, he would have done one of those double takes, where his jaw hit the floor.

"What are you doing here?" Lorelai just had to know.

"You invited us, remember?"

"Us?" OH God, that's right! And weird, Luke a guest? In my Inn? With… with …

"Yeah, me and … Nicole…"

… Oh God! This is awkward! "Oh right, right well umm, right. So uhhh, you … guys, you two, … umm enjoying the room?" she strained to get out the sentence. Why? Why of all nights did they have to be here … when I'm doing turndown. It's bad enough he was going away with … the Lawyer, but when I'm in this mode of servitude, and in a … romantic dry spell! And they are just all happy and together right in front of me! Wait …why do I care so much?

Luke focused back on the newspaper, a little embarrassed that he had been stood up for the weekend get away. Not stood up, just … waiting for her to arrive. "Actually, … Nicole isn't here, … yet."

"Oh?" and he's alone, … apparently … Stop that!

Luke felt the need to explain, he always rambled when he got nervous, … particularly around Lorelai. "She had some case she's working on, and is gonna come in from New York, … later."

"Oh," Damn, "… right, sure, well ummm. New York. … Traffic."

"What are you doing here?" wondering why she was in his room at that moment.

Lorelai was just as embarrassed, here she was the executive manager doing … "Turndown, I said when I knocked," gesturing toward the door. She laughed lightly at the situation, "I don't usually do this … you know,… turndown service. I mean, I did when I started many moons ago, but that's when I was a maid." There was an awkward silence between them. "Well, ummm I'll just do this and get out of your way."

"Lorelai, it's just me. I'm fine, you don't have to …"

"No, you are a guest and you deserve to get what you're paying for."

"I'm not paying."

"Maybe not, but this is where you start paying - in sweat." Okay that could be a dirty, Me and Luke sweating in a hotel room, wait what? and WOW definitely Dirty!

"What?" Luke tried to follow her, but he always had trouble keeping up with the Gilmores.

To get away from her dirty thoughts, she tried to get back on track with actual facts. "Umm it's from Fame, you know, … the movie?"

"Must have missed it,… " He then focused back on his paper.

Suddenly she felt self conscious, around Luke? "Yeah, well, Debbie Allen. In sweat. I just loved how she said that." you stupid idiot! "Let's see. … uh, you need towels." Luke showering, … Stop that!

"You can just give 'em to me."

"Okay, here are your towels." She continued the service with a forced smile, and gave him the towels "And, let me see. . . oh, I'll draw your curtains closed," And she did, looking for anything to keep her busy and praying he kept reading his paper. "What else, what else? It's been a little while since I've done this. Oh, do you want a fire?"

"It's okay, I can light it." trying to read, but he always found it hard to pay attention to anything else, when Lorelai was in the room.

"No, no, I'll light it for you. We have these new log bags now, makes it real easy." She picked up the lighter from the basket on the mantle, trying to figure out how to get the flame to click on … " Uh, okay." Lorelai attempted to light the fireplace, and needed to fill the persistent silence, "So, nothing like a fire on a cold night like this, huh?" Okay, I'm trying to small talk , … with Luke, he's one of my best friends! Why am I suddenly Spazzy McSpaztic around him… She wondered if it was because their roles were reversed. If because he wasn't in his usual uniform, … and out of the diner, for a change.

"Mm hm." To agree with her was just easier, and he tried again to focus on his paper and not on Lorelai's ass displayed before him as she bend over struggling with the lighter and log bag. He was somewhat nervous about Nicole finding him alone with Lorelai. Lorelai was a touchy subject since he had first mentioned her, over and over again, on that fateful first date with Nicole; but who was he kidding. Lorelai would always be a sensitive subject for him. He couldn't help it, to him, Lorelai would always be … special.

"Hm, I'm not having much luck here," Lorelai conceded. With that comment Luke folded the paper, got up from the bed, and took the lighter from her as she just stood beside him and continued to ramble. "…And, uh, you know what, we laid off the person who was able to light these things no problem, now we can't light these things, and ironically we laid him off because of a fire."

"It's okay, I got it," as he stood up, and put the lighter back in the mantle basket.

"Oh. Well uhhh, thank you." thank you?

Luke then realized just how close he was standing to Lorelai, almost bumping into her as he tried to get away. "Sorries" were exchanged at the same time. Both eying each other up and down with the new romantic glow provided by the fire light. Both fully aware they were alone, … in a hotel room.

To distract her from the close proximity to Luke, Lorelai dove back into her duties. "Okay. What else, let's see. Oh, um, well, turndown. I need to turndown the bed." For Luke, … and The Lawyer to sleep in.Oh God! Bad thoughts!

"Really, Lorelai." Luke was already uncomfortable, but to have her got through this stupid demeaning ritual in the name of customer service; For me, of all people!

"No, no, no. you deserve what any other guest would get." As she pulled down the covers she tried not to think about Luke and Nicole in this room later… and what they might do together, … alone. She also tried not to think about his pecks pulling on the fabric of his sweater as he had his hand on his hips. She of course had to comment, to get through the awkward situation, "Kinda funny eh? me serving you for a change."

"I'm not laughing" he said honestly, hands on his hips, exasperated that she could take so long; Trying to purge the unfaithful thoughts he was having as Lorelai practically reached across the width of the bed to pull on the covers. Nicole is coming, she will be here any minute.

"Okay, you're all settled here, nice and comfy. Great lines with these covers here. Pillows, nice and plump. And a couple of pillow mints," Tossing a few from her basket. "There you go," and she looked at Luke again with uncertain eyes "You're all ready to …" have Sex with the Lawyer "… uhhh, you're all ready … to enjoy your evening." Block out bad thoughts, purge bad Luke/Nicole thoughts.

"Fine, good, that's good." unable to believe a proud woman like Lorelai would do that for him.

"Well, you're all set. Just call if you need anything, … and have fun on your trip Luke." she said, trying to be supportive, and hide her sadness. I won't see him till Monday.

"Have a good weekend." I'm sure you won't even notice I'm gone.

Lorelai forced a smile and made a hasty exit. As she closed the door she couldn't help but feel strange, having prepared the room Luke and Nicole would no doubt have sex in. GAH! She cringed at the thought. Although, Nicole is working late, … in New York! Lorelai now wished that Nicole she didn't show up at all. The Lawyer was hardly worthy of a nice, sweet, generous guy like Luke. What could he possibly see in her! She couldn't think about that now. She had to finish this floor and get to her Booster Club meeting and … had to get some answers … from Max.

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Lorelai couldn't believe Max had squirreled out of seeing her again by getting that faculty teacher advisor impostor to show up. Whatever her name was; Was he really that scared of me? She had wandered the halls trying to find Max's classroom, she couldn't remember the last time she was there, oooh maybe that kiss that caused such a scandal with Rory, her first year here, oh yeah I do remember! I'm a kissing bandit apparently! When she did finally find Max inside the classroom. Things did not go as she expected, well she didn't really know what to expect.

From the moment she entered the room, Max had looked put off by her presence. Well, not so much put off, maybe uneasy. They engaged in small talk about his current state of "Busy". She had accused him of avoiding her, she quoted booster club bylaws which he totally defend himself in not breaking. Then Lorelai jumped right into what was weighing on her mind.

"Why did you treat me so weird at that last meeting?"

"I treated you with respect and kindness."

"That's why it was weird. It's how you treated Terry and Joan, too. I mean, did you also kiss Terry and Joan? "

"Yeah, I did. And Doug. He was the best of the three."

"Max." in a tone that said Quit playing,I don't know how long I can be this serious for.

"I was playing it cool. You were, too. I was just following suit."

"No, I was playing it cool because you were playing it cool. And I'm the treasurer and the treasurer has to be cool or it just looks suspicious."

after some beating around the bush, Max then insisted they needed to keep their distance, "Ten Feet, … That's a safe distance for us, and the more furniture in between, the better". It was a distance that Max had grown accustomed to having gone to California.

Lorelai tried to get closer, a little flattered that he seemed so nervous; But she thought it was ridiculous that they couldn't sit down and just talk. "I'm not gonna attack you," she shrugged, unable to understand why things had to be weird. Why they couldn't just be friends. When she tried to walk around the desk to simply have a conversation with the man he burst out again.

"I'm not worried about you, I'm worried about me. I mean, there are people still walking the halls and this is my workplace and I can't be held responsible for what I do around you. I mean, you are like a - like a - like a mythological creature that casts some kind of spell on me and makes me act stupid. I'm not stupid. I don't act stupid with anyone else. Uh, we're too close again." he kept rolling away from her in his chair. "There are other complications with this whole thing, you know. Just thought I'd tell you."

"What other complications?"

" I was seeing someone in California. There, I said it."

"You mean, you weren't living like a Trappist monk while you were in California? I'm shocked." In her trademark sarcastic tone.

"That doesn't bother you?"

Lorelai couldn't tell if she should be offended by what he was implying. Like she had no life when he left, she just rolled up into a ball and pinned for the one she let get away, the one she left mind you."Max, we weren't together. I mean, I have been seeing someone, too." She may have said it just to put him more at ease, cause in truth, Alex was completely a flash in the pan.

"Well, I'm still seeing Diane, granted it's long distance, for now, … and things are really good with her. And she wasn't too keen on our last … meeting." he gestured between the two of them.

"You told her?… about the kiss?" Lorelai was naturally surprised.

"Yes, Lorelai, that IS what you do in a mature relationship."

"Okay?" Are you saying I wasn't mature for our relationship? She knew it was a stupid question. Of course she wasn't; She wasn't even thinking of having Max in her house every day after they were married. She never thought of him as part of a new routine. She couldn't even sleep in the same bed with him without wigging out.

"You know, I thought we were both going to just pretend to ignore the kiss. Wasn't that the deal?" Max was exasperated that Lorelai refused to leave and how she kept pushing the issue.

"We had a deal? I don't remember a deal. You told Diane, but we had some silent deal?"

Max became very angry, "You had your shot, okay! You had the ring and you said no!"

Lorelai admitted, feeling a little shorter for his volume. "Yes, I did. And you said that that was right for you, too. You went to Stanford, you're … dating Diane, …"

"And you're dating …" Who exactly?

"Luke." She said absently. Wait, what? I'm not dating Luke.

Then Max became interested."Luke," and he crossed his arms, "Really, the diner… guy,… world's best Coffee."

"Well umm, " why not complete the lie, "yeah," she shrugged.

"Wow," Max only nodded, as if that information hurt him all over again. "I mean, I had my suspicions, but… wow."

"Suspicions?"

"Well, you and Luke, the first time I met him he seemed very … protective of you."

"Yeah," Lorelai was piecing it together for the first time.

"And with the wedding? He was very distant, it upset you that he wasn't coming."

"Yeah," Now seeing all the little things that Luke did that never added up until now, "he's always … been like that." Even in this past year, well until the lawyer came into the picture.

"And you have that whole alliterating couple thing, the names sound good together. Luke and Lorelai, Lorelai and Luke." He was an English teacher, its what he does.

"Yeah?" Luke and Lorelai?

"Well, I'm glad you two finally saw it. and I assume … he makes you happy."

Finally saw it? Lorelai thought of all the times she spent with Luke, annoying him, talking with him, just enjoying his company. "ummm, Yeah, yeah he does." Luke and Lorelai?

"… So, it was right for both of us." Max suggested, then had to ask, "So, what is this, now, right here?" What are we even talking about?

Closure? "It's us,Co-Existing, Tada."

"Well, us needs to stay apart."

"Oh, Max, we can't even be friends? I mean, we had a whole country between us for a year. That's like eleven-thousand basketball players lying end to end, and yet, here we are. We can't avoid each other."

"Honestly, I thought I was over you. I thought it was safe to come back here, but no, not the deal. I just, I think we should stay apart and never see each other ever again."

Okay? Guess who needs some maturing now? "That's impossible."

"No, it's not."

"Well, I'll be at the Chilton graduation and so will you."

"Well, I'll sit behind a tree."

"We could run into each other at a drugstore again."

"Well, I'm gonna order all my drugs online."

"If my car breaks down next to yours, will you stop?"

"I will stop, and keep my eyes straight forward, call a garage and then stay in my car with the radio on really loud 'til they come, and then I'm gone. I've got a really great thing with Diane, and you have a great thing with … Luke. I say you and I start being apart right now. To never see each other again."

I'm with Luke? Oh right? "Okay. Whatever you want." Not even as friends.

"This is what I want. And when I walk out that door, it could very well be the last time we see each other."

"Okay. I'll abide by your wishes," you head case

"Goodbye, Lorelai."

"Goodbye, Max."

Lorelai didn't know how well she could hold up that promise. To think they were never going to see each other again, while he was still teaching at the same school her daughter attended. Well, once Rory was in Yale, maybe the "bump in"s won't be so frequent.

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A/N: the chapter title? get it? she was doing turndown, and Max turned her down? WOAW INSIGHT! But it really didn't matter cause she's thinking of LUKE! you self centered scary nipple man!

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"That was all God given talent..." why thank you Luke!
7777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777R/R: PLEASE, I like to better myself. To quote The Princess Bride,
"...Remember this is for posterity, ... so be honest."
Please be specific with R/R; name one (or as many as you can think of or want to mention..…) at least specific thing you liked

Please! It makes me feel good...inside (Dirty!)

Hence the Rant option below.

Insert Rant here V
A/N: if not completely satisfied with this chapter, please return unused portion for a full refund …