Prologue:

A/N: This is my first Spuffy fiction and I would love feedback so go on and review. Pretty please? BTW I am an Australian so if I miss a few American college details let me know. Let it be said that I own nothing!

Special thanks is sent to AJ and Fish my beautiful BETA's

Elizabeth Summers, or Buffy as she was renamed by her cheerleading clique was what every high school teen aspired to be. She was pretty, popular, bright and a leader of the school. But Buffy was having the worst week of her life. Her mother and father, in their usual fashion, were leaving for Europe in a week and would miss her high school graduation and senior prom.

She caught Parker, her pathetic excuse for a boyfriend, making out with Darla, the skanky cheerleader from Brookmead High. She had been sour all week even though final exams were over and there were only two weeks left until the class of 2002 left Sunnydale High behind. To top it all off Parker came up to her in the cafeteria and announced that HE was breaking up with HER! If that wasn't bad enough he was taking that cheer-bimbo to THEIR prom. Once the shock wore off her first instinct was to cry but looking around at the pitying looks on Harmony and Cordelia's faces all she could summon was rage.

By final homeroom she was ready to tear apart the next person who made a joke at her expense. She stormed out into the hallway her vision clouded by fury and ran straight into William "Spike" Winters, knocking him to the ground.

"Hey, watch where your going!" She shouted at the slightly dazed bleached blonde who was picking himself up off the ground and dusting off his denim clad rear end, looking none too pleased.

The two had been best friends by age four and stayed that way for years. But during high school their interests changed as Elizabeth became Buffy; pretty, popular and admired while William became Spike; a leather-clad, tough, silent tough guy. Now he was the boy she loved to hate; the annoying, obnoxious antagonistic next-door neighbor with whom she would swap insults and teasing remarks. They were mostly content to ignore each other over the last few years. They were not friends but they were not enemies either.

Spike shook his head 'She's in a bad mood today' he thought. He couldn't really blame her. She was just dumped in front of the entire school. Spike glanced about the empty hall that would soon be filling with teens.

"I heard about jerk face and his pom-pom girl. I was wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me?"

If she hadn't been so enraged from the events of the past week Buffy may have noticed that it was a genuine invitation from a guy who had always been a friend to her. As it was all she saw was the increasing stream of students entering the hall and stopping to see what 'Buffy Summers' was doing talking to Spike of all people.

"Hello? Earth to Buffy! Oh, never mind."

Someone giggled when he turned away from her. That was all it took. It didn't matter if they were laughing at him or at her, Buffy's temper overflowed and she turned on Spike.

"What are you on about? If this is some lame ass joke you have real poor timing and what makes you think I need your pity invitation?" She shouted at him.

Spike was taken back by her outburst but Buffy was running on steam and pride now. For once this week she wanted to finish on top. He made one last attempt at putting a stop to her tirade before he lost his cool too.

"Look, it wasn't a pity invitation. Just forget it." Spike turned to leave slightly embarrassed. If it had been any other girl he would have made a sharp comment and asked someone else but they always said they would go to the prom together and he knew Buffy could be dramatic. Let her have her scene, win back some points with the sheep, what did he care?

"Spike here was just commenting on my unfortunate circumstances and wondering if I would accept him as a consolation prize." Buffy addressed their fellow students in a patronizing voice.

Her words stung more than he cared to admit and his grasp on his own temper failed.

"Bloody hell woman! I am nobody's bleedin' consolation prize! It was a simple question, I thought that was what civilized society called for. My mistake." This was a showdown, if she backed down she would loose her last shred of credibility.

"What would you know about civilized society? You? With your two outfit wardrobe and left-over take-out diet?" The look he gave her was chilling as she warmed up to a very sore topic.

"What would you know about my life Summers? You never have your nose out of the air long enough to notice anything outside your own shallow existence!"

"I know enough to know you probably haven't seen your mother in weeks and if it weren't for the free food and dirty uniforms you wouldn't even know where she worked!" Spike's eyes blackened rage.

"Be careful Elizabeth."

"Or what William?" The last word was said with all the insult that it was intended to be and a few students laughed outright at the unfamiliar name for their denim and leather clad classmate.

"Money doesn't buy you everything does it princess? It doesn't by you love, or friendship and it certainly doesn't buy you the right to sit in judgment over my life!" He said in a low and dangerous tone as he squared his shoulders.

The hall was crowded now and there was no backing down as students from all grades stood around waiting to see how it would end.

"Why you arrogant, self-righteous, ego..."

"Observant, accurate, well informed..." he cut her off as she shoved him slightly effectively silencing him.

"I guess you would know all about greed and weakness wouldn't you?" She paused for only a split second as Spike turned pail and his eyes widened in horror. "You were always one for lecturing from the moral high ground! Maybe that's why your dad took off so quickly...to get the hell away from you. Your trust fund was just a bonus!"

It felt like the entire world fell into silence. Spike looked like she had run a stake through his heart and instantly her previous rage fell like blocks of cement at her feet.

"Spike wait, please. I didn't mean it."

The look on Spike's face was lost somewhere between agony and hatred as he turned and stormed down the corridor towards the student's parking lot. The moment the words left her mouth she regretted them. She used the most deeply hurtful and personal thing she knew about him to score a few cool points. He hadn't even done anything to her.

As she ran after the enraged blonde Cordelia's voice floated by.

"Now that was harsh, even by my standards!"

"What a loser!" Angel declared, laughing heartily. The rest of the football team laughed along.

She caught up to him as he threw open the double doors at the back of the gym. As she reached for his arm he flinched away and something deep inside her began to bend. They weren't close, but she had never been cruel and this went way beyond cruelty. She could see it in his eyes, the raw pain still left from his father's departure, the fresh pain that she alone was responsible for and most terrifying of all the shadow of a vulnerable twelve year old. Who heard every word and was now drowning in the secret fear that she was right and it was all his fault. Hands shaking, she reached out as he took another step towards the car park.

"I'm so sorry! You know your mom loves you more than life itself and your dad...that had nothing to do with you! You know that don't you? Don't you?" The last part came out as a plea more than a question. The look he gave her was so cold it made her shiver despite the warm streams of sunlight.

"Spike, say something." He looked past her then to his group of friends who were only now catching up to them.

"Just go away Elizabeth." She was slowly surrounded by the arrival of Spike's friends. The ones who were normally the butt of many jokes now suddenly looked very intimidating and Buffy was disgusted with herself.

"Go!" Xander and Willow stepped closer softly pushing her away from their friend.

"I think you should just leave him alone" Oz, who hardly ever spoke, added his support.

She didn't know why it hurt so badly, Spike was the one who had been wronged but for some reason she felt more alone than ever.

Chapter 1:

Buffy threw her book bag down on her bed. She was in her third year at UC Sunnydale, she was bright, athletic and still one of the most popular cheerleaders on campus. She should be ecstatic, her life should be perfect. To the outside world it appeared that she had everything a young woman could ever hope for.

In truth, she couldn't remember the last time her mother or father had said that they loved her, or anyone for that matter. Though she was popular she was beginning to feel that she had a group of followers rather than friends. Even her boyfriend Angel had become increasingly distant and distracted since the last time she declined his need for physicality, for the fifth time. Elizabeth chose not to think too hard on these deep issues.

The greatest positive influence in Buffy's life was her next-door neighbor Joyce Winters. Joyce was one of the sweetest and most loving people Buffy ever met and she had been much more of a mother to Buffy over the years than Cecily, Buffy's actual mother. Joyce's son however was a different story.

Spike never brought up the fight they had that day at school, they never really spoke much beforehand so it was difficult to tell if he avoided her because of it or not. Buffy knew that she hurt him but he mostly acted like it hadn't happened. A week later Angel had asked her to The Prom and the two had been going out for over two years now.

Almost all of the students from Sunnydale High now attended UC

Sunnydale. It was one of the disadvantages of life in a small town. This meant that although the teachers and classes changed the social order and mob mentality changed very little.

Thinking back on those high school years it was clear that she had been the one to distance herself from Spike. She had allowed those around her to snigger and gossip about him and his friends and even on occasion joined in. In the early years Spike's bad boy style and good looks could have made him equally as popular. In the end he had chosen to hang out with the group now affectionately know as 'The Misfits'.

The group was comprised of what, to the casual observer, would look like one member from each of the other schoolyard social groups. Spike of course was from the big bad tough guys. Xander was from the nobodies. Oz was the silent musician. Willow was the nerdy computer genius. Tara was the quite and shy one. Anya was rich and up front about everything. Angel and his gang had dubbed them 'The Misfits' because they didn't fit in anywhere except when they were together.

The one thing that she envied about Spike more than anything else was his friends. Many times over the years she would come home from a party feeling superficial and empty and hear laughing, talking or teasing banter coming from Spike's living room. It was the sound of closeness and friendship and it drew her in to the point where all she wanted to do was walk up and join in. A small part of her even now believed that if she had done so they would have been kind and friendly because that was the kind of people they were. However, after everything, Buffy had the feeling that she was not quite good enough.

She gave a soft self-pitying laugh at that, all these years her so-called friends had been of the opinion that they were too good for almost everyone and everything. The truth actually being that people like Spike and his friends put them to shame. Buffy shook her head to clear some of the negative thoughts she was having about her wonderful life. It was funny how sitting alone in her empty house always made her reflective.

Regardless of how she acted or what she said, she did miss Spike and the friendship they once shared. Over the years his tight friendship group had grown and he and Buffy drifted further and further apart. Except for the occasional glare or antagonizing remark they seldom spoke. Buffy would often talk to Joyce at the coffee shop however Spike remained a mystery. The boy she once knew oh so well was now a shadow of the man he had become.

On occasion Buffy found herself wondering if his favorite ice cream flavor was still peppermint swirl, or if he still got extra British when he was embarrassed or annoyed. She wondered what his favorite movie was, what his passions and fears were and, even after the horrible things she said, why he danced with her at their senior prom for one slow sweet song before returning to his friends. She apologized once more that night as he wordlessly took her hand and lead her to the dance floor.

"Shut up and dance Summers." was all he said as he smiled at her.

When the song ended he turned around and went back to his friends. Buffy did not allow herself to think about why it meant so much to her or why that one dance with him had been more special than the entire evening with Angel.